Dirty Words? or Filthy Communication?

[jbertonbounds]

To come to the truth of Universal Reconciliation, I first had to broaden my mind, throw out the world's precepts, and look at the Gospel through the new light that God was giving me.  The more I searched, the more human precepts I found entangled in doctrine.  But we must follow God's precepts alone.  This essay sorts through the rubbish and establishes truth as given me by the Father.  This essay has to do with the "filthy communication" of Collosians 3:8, "But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth." [KJV]

Through the years, I have so many times heard my parents, pastor, Sunday school teachers, friends, and other Christians criticize people for using "foul language."  And true, at times it certainly was abusive language that prompted their response.  However, there are forms of language abuse that are so commonly overlooked by Christians that they are never given any thought by most.  Sometimes such abuse is carried on by "good upstanding Christians," and it can be so powerful that it can destroy lives.  Consider a family I once knew, that for this purpose I will call the Smiths.  The Smiths were a fine Christian family.  They were involved in a large local church, and striving to live lives that pleased God, and were teaching there two precious children God's precepts.  However, when their family was about half raised another member of their church, for some unknown reason, told someone that Mr. Smith was a homosexual.  Word so quickly spread around our small Southern town, that in a matter of days Mr. Smith was forced to resign both his career as a principle with the local school system and his position as music director in their church.  Needless to say, the Smiths were devastated.  Before the incident was over, they came to our church, which was located in another community, seeking love and support, which they received graciously from our loving congregation.  Through the years, God has blessed the Smiths, and God has blessed that loving congregation.  How have we as Christians come to put more emphasis on abstaining from using "dirty words" than abstaining from the type of language abuse that destroys people?

First, let us differentiate between language use and language abuse.  Language is the means by which we most often communicate our thoughts and intensions to others.  If we abuse language,  we use it in a negative way to either hurt other people, deceive other people for self gain, or to project ourselves above other people.  The main types of language abuse in our society today are: gossip – the passing along of information without regard for truth; slander – the telling of lies against another person; curses – the pronouncement of ill will or judgmental condemnation upon another; lies used as tools for dishonest gain; name-calling and making fun of others – the putting down on others using degrading terms or misusing humor in order to build oneself up; and sexually immoral communication – which is well defined in the scriptures.  In any case, these abuses of language are clearly sinful, because they are contrary to God's precepts.

I believe it is of profound importance to the individual to have a clear understanding of the definition of the term "language abuse," or "filthy communication."  Without this clarity of definition embedded in the Christian's mind, he is surely on a road that will lead him astray from God's will by causing him to overlook certain forms of language abuse that may be present in his own lifestyle.  Two of these types of language abuse are of particular concern to many believers.  Many people who proclaim to be Christians participate in gossip on a regular ongoing basis.  Gossip is usually full of supposition, and is, therefore, usually slanderous.  Slanderers are among those listed in the scriptures who will face judgement!  Name-calling and making fun of others are equally as common as gossip.  So many times we call others names and try to make people laugh at another person, either in our private thoughts or openly.  These names and jokes are often degrading and/or slanderous, and, therefore, abusive.  We try, thereby, to build ourselves up; but you can be sure that God will tear down the self-made man.  Unless God builds us up, we fall.  Using these types of language is certainly as sinful as many people believe using "dirty words" is, mainly because it hurts others and can actually damage other's self esteem and cause depression and anxiety when they find out about it – and they quite often do.

Curses run a close third to gossip and degrading others.  This is where there is much confusion about language abuse in our society, and cursing comes in forms that most Christians have never conceived.  The word "curse" is commonly misused, being used interchangeably with the slang word "cuss."  We have defined "curse," so let's differentiate it from "cuss."  To cuss is to use language that is considered offensive to others in our society.  But should we not be more concerned about what is offensive to our creator?  Granted, it is important and prudent for social reasons to abstain from any activity that commonly offends others, so as not to repel people from the gospel, but let us not place more importance on that than on language that abuses other people.  Language that, in God's sight, abuses other people is sinful, just like anything else that hurts other people.  God frowns on that big time!  Granted, using offensive language, or "dirty words," may be unwise and sinful from a christian perspective if it is used in a context that repels people from the gospel.

Of utmost importance in this discussion is to understand what it is that God's Word refers to as "filthy communication."  God forbids filthy communication (Colossians 3:8, KJV), and this is where it gets interesting.  We must first determine who is speaking in this scripture.  That's easy.  It is scripture.  Therefore, it is God who is speaking.  Since it is God who is speaking, then we must determine just what it is that God is calling "filthy communication."  What is filthy to God?  In a word, sin.  Then filthy communication must be the same thing as sinful language usage – the putting together of words to communicate thoughts or messages to others that are evil in God's sight.  The words themselves are not sinful.  It is in how they are used in conjunction with other words to communicate to other people.

We have already defined the most common ways language is used sinfully.  But it is important to notice that none of these involved the use of single words independently from other words.  So then how is it that people in our society have come to refer to individual words as "dirty?"  How can a single word in itself be dirty?  Are not some words considered "dirty" in some parts of the country, and other words "dirty" in other regions?  I find this level of human reasoning to be ignorant!  This is nothing more than human reasoning and human precepts.  Granted, some words are certainly more sensitive than others, but that does not make them dirty.  They all have their proper place in our language. 

The reality is, words rarely stand alone, but rather they are used in conjunction with other words to form complete thoughts.  That's how language works.  In that sense, single words are benign of complete thoughts, and cannot be dirty.  Words like "sh--" and "fu--" (and their synonyms that are considered offensive) are considered dirty and sinful by most Christians, but in reality they have the same true meaning as "manure" and "intercourse."  Why is one considered dirty and another not?  Some of our more sensitive words are commonly and carelessly used, not for their true meanings, but for alternative meanings, and are therefore no longer the same words in essence.  For example, if I say, "I'm beat!," I am not saying I have been physically beaten.  I am saying I am tired.  In the same way, if I say, "I am tired of that crap!," I am not referring to manure.  Rather, I am changing the meaning of the word "crap" to mean, say, "those things I find repusive."  Or if I say, "That's a bunch of crap!,"  I am really saying that it is untrue, not that it is literally a large quantity of manure.  To judge that a person has sinned because he has used a sensitive word in that sense, is poor reasoning, and is, in itself, a sin because it is judgmental.  So tell me, now who has sinned?  God gave us the ability to reason so that we would be able to come to Him.  We are responsible for using our reasoning to know how to please Him.  I do not believe that God is pleased with such careless reasoning (human precepts), any more than he is pleased with the careless and unwise public use of offensive slang terms.  I do not take this stand on the use of single "dirty words" to say that it's ok to use them, but rather to demonstrate that the emphasis on language abuse has been shifted to what should have been benign language use to start with.  In other words, most Christians have come to believe that bad language is nothing more than saying "dirty words," when the real problem lies among the reeds, unnoticed, like a crocodile waiting for its prey.

I believe these things within full faith in God.  I also believe that, given the status quo concerning these matters (the social taboos that have been placed on certain words), that it is not wise to use the "dirty words."  A christian could certainly do much harm in his world to the spreading of God's gospel message if he were to exercise his freedom in Christ to use these tabooed words freely.  I do not believe that it is a sin in itself if he chooses to use a "dirty word," just unwise.  Certainly it is unwise to practice anything that you know can be a hindrance to the spreading of the gospel, and therefore sinful.  For example, given the beliefs of most Americans, it would be unwise to, and we ought not, use "dirty words" as an integral part of our language usage, as it would be incommensurate with our goal to spread to gospel.  It could definitely repel people from the gospel, and would be, therefore, foolish.  Again, that depends on where you are, and which tabooed words you use.

My concern in these matters is not about the freedom to use the tabooed words.  Rather, it is about helping people understand that there are forms of language abuse commonly used among God's people, and many of them have no idea that they are doing wrong in God's sight.  I have seen the lives of good God-fearing people ruined by slanderous gossip.  I have heard so many people name-calling and putting down on others.  This sort of abuse had a great negative impact on my own life growing up.  All humans have sinned and fall short of God's glory.  Who am I to put down on some else.  Yet the same people would quickly inform you that you had sinned if you said a "dirty word."  Ignorance!  If I call someone a sinner, am I not also a sinner?  If I call someone a jerk, am I not also a jerk in some way in God's sight?  Have I never been a jerk to someone else?  Oh boy, if you only knew!  If I say to someone, "Go to hell!," I curse; but do I not deserve God's judgment?  What if I say, "Drop dead?"  Is that not a curse in the true sense of the word?  If I say a particular person "will get what he deserves one day," do I not have a gleam in my eye as I speak, and does that not imply that I am a better person than he and do not deserve punishment for my own sins?  And what if someone says of the man who has stolen, "He can pay for it now, or he will pay for it later in hell!"  Are they not really hoping that he will pay for it later – in Hell?!  Such thoughts and words are evil because they are polar opposites to God's will – not to mention that hell is a myth.  These are the kinds of language abuse so common among Christians, yet they seem to go unrecognized by most Christians as sins.  Dirty words?  Grow up (in Christ, that is)!  We have bigger fish to fry than that! 

The real issue in abstaining from filthy language as God commanded us is not about cussing.  It is about gossip – the passing along of information without regard for truth; slander – the telling of lies against another person; curses – the pronouncement of ill will or judgmental condemnation upon another; lies used as tools for dishonest gain; negative name-calling – the putting down on others using degrading terms in order to build oneself up; and sexually immoral communication (any of you guys ever participated in that in the office?).  Let every believer open his mind and examine his own language usage to see if it contains "filthy communication" as defined by God, Himself, in His infinite wisdom, rather than that as defined by the world's precepts.

[Lazarus Short]

Thank you, that was both enlightening and sobering.

[sheila]

  :iagree:  very good post,I think.

   I can remember..when I started going to 'church' and cleaning up my language so as

not to offend.  So,I developed the habit of saying 'rats!' whenever I would stump my toe

or become frustrated etc.   i thought I was doing a pretty good job...but alas....the 'church'

told me....it was a 'byword" therefore I could use no expletives.

  so,according to 'some' no exclamitives are appropriate..so 'ouch" ooch...arghhh etc or even

'oh'

[jabcat]

I agree it can be anything that's not helpful/profitable, including gossip, bearing false witness, etc.  I agree, some discernment and seeking the Lord's personal leading is important, as some may be offended by "shoot".   But IMO, the precept still includes anything vulgar [cursing, course language] that may be a bad witness to others.  "If eating meat offends my brother, I won't eat meat.."  Apostle Paul

[jabcat]

I also think discernment, not being judgmental, again, looking to the Lord for guidance is important - as sometimes we're prone to take things too far one way or the other.  For instance, some church groups believe it's a sin for a man's hair to touch his collar or to have a beard, etc.  So I question "caving into" those type of restrictions.  OTOH, I know of some believer's that think it's OK to curse God and openly use all kinds of filthy language the world finds so clever and enjoyable - even to the point of desiring to use it in their "ministering".  So it seems there are some "reasonable" middle grounds?  Not being so "over-righteous" that we've got ourselves and those around us walking on egg shells, while still being sensitive to the Holy Spirit and the whole use of language to begin with - to please and praise God and to help our fellow man.  Paul used the word 'dung'.  That's descriptive, and I believe it to be equal to 'manure'.  But I can't personally imagine him preaching a sermon and mimicking a stand-up comedian or some of the rappers' language of today.   :2c:

[jbertonbounds]

So it seems there are some "reasonable" middle grounds?  Not being so "over-righteous" that we've got ourselves and those around us walking on egg shells

Hey Jabcat, that is the point exactly.  When I first discovered this truth, I felt so liberated that I began to use any words I felt like using - where ever/when ever.  My wife helped me become aware that, although I am free, that does not mean it's appropriate or beneficial.  I believe our brother, the Apostle Paul, said the same thing.  Still, it is very liberating just to learn this truth.  Now I don't feel guilty if I say certain words to myself, silently.  Remember, the key is: use prudence.

[jabcat]

 :bigGrin:

[jbertonbounds]

Hey Sheila,
I was raised the same way.  My mother would not even let us say "darn" or "gollee."  It was her right to teach us as she saw fit, but I am teaching my children as I stated in the essay.  Sometimes they cuss in front of me when they are frustrated, but that just lets me know that they are learning this truth, instead of the man-made, distorted version of the precept.  You can bet I correct them when they truly do use filthy communication as I described in the essay. 

[shawn]

There are times when I prefer the word crap, to stuff.  When I am dealing with certain populations of people especially in early recovery, something I might say has more punch using a word unacceptable to use in church.  Using some sort of "curse word" substitute IMO isn't more holy or righteous.

For me, dirty talk is talk that is sexual explicit, gossip, words that tear down others, words that glorify sin, course joking and the like.  Just my 2 cents.

[lomarah]

As a wise lady said to me once, God does not hesitate to call a whore a whore. ;)

[jabcat]

As a wise lady said to me once, God does not hesitate to call a whore a whore. ;)

That's true.  I bet there are other things though that might be inappropriate to call her?   :happygrin:

[lomarah]

Haha I don't know. When it comes to Babylon... and all of her filth... some nasty words come to mind. Same with Satan. All of his "dung". Dung is dung is dung.

Sheila what's that word you used that time... God is not... something... ? But basically He calls a whore a whore is the point. He does not hold His tongue on account of being religious or "pious".

I love Him.

[anna274]

Thank you, that was both enlightening and sobering.

Thank you Laz... whenever you state a post to be profound, enlightening... I am encouraged to read it no matter how long the post is. I will take the time to read it and very likely print it.  Thanks.

I didn't get this reply off to you as I was repeatedly interrupted... and when I did get back to posting this reply, I noticed several other replies have been posted.  So now, I've thanked you and I'm off  to reading the post and all those replies.

[sheila]

sanctimoniousness............there is a false-religious idea of this.......see Pharisees and sadducees  when

a sinful woman was wiping Jesus feet with her tears.

  it is further evidenced here Isaaih 65;5...who say..."keep away! don't come near me,

   FOR I AM TOO SACRED FOR YOU!!"  such people are a smoke in my nostrils...a fire

that keeps burning all day.

  Mt 9;11  why does your teacher eat with tax-collectors and sinners?


    ...I gotta share..as found it funny......my daughter joined a drug-rehab religious org..that ministered

  to drug-addicts...and she slipped and said..piss or some such thing...and two sisters jumped her about it...

....so she said..it's in the scripture..every man that pisseth on the wall....well...they looked at each other

in somewhat of a quandry...and didn't know what to do or say.  one sister said 'well..it is in there"

    God will call a spade a spade..whether it sounds nice or not.  But I tell you..there are some people

  who are holier than God!! They would not use the speech that God used in scripture...too base/coarse

[lomarah]

Yessssss that was it! Good post Sheila and a hearty amen from lo.  :thumbsup:

[jbertonbounds]

Sheila, that's funny.

[jbertonbounds]

I am reminded of this passage:
Matthew 11:18, "For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, 'He has a demon.' 19 The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!' Yet wisdom is justified by her deeds." [ESV]

This makes me think of the old saying, "can't win for losing."
Except, of course, we are on the winning side.

But no matter what you do, someone will shake their head in disapproval.  We must be led by the Spirit and He will not guide us wrong.  Jesus was sharply criticized many times, and even "kicked out of church!" so to speak.  But the Spirit lead him in God's will right to the cross.

Wow!

[sheila]

  ..hey....I don't  condone filthy foul language...for this is what I

  have expierenced..even with my own family...that filthy coarse speech..affects me in a strange way..

    ...I feel like puking when I am surrounded by it.  the other day in the car....

  a family member was speaking so..coarse and foul..that I said something to them about it...

   my heart just hurt over it.........

[jbertonbounds]

Sheila,
I don't like to hear it either, especially out loud in a public place - I find that very uncomfortable.  It is against the way I was raised.  But that is a cultural issue, not to be confused with Godly precepts.  The focus of the essay was to pinpoint the forms of language use that are actually against God's precepts, and distinguish them from those that merely violate cultural precepts.

[sheila]

 :thumbsup:

[anna274]

Well, I have read and printed the OP.  Thanks so much Jbertonbounds... very helpful, thoughtfilled material...thanks for sharing this with us. It was for me a timely reminder as I'm in the midst of composing my Spring  family/friends good news letter.

[misszoolander]

I sincerely thank you Jberton, for sharing that with us, I learnt a lot from your post.  :HeartThrob:

[jabcat]

Thanks for that clarification sheila.   :thumbsup:  I appreciate that.  Sounds like the Spirit in you was grieved.


On another note, I guess it's a good thing the forum has built-in language filters.

[jabcat]

God is not... something... ? But basically He calls a whore a whore is the point. He does not hold His tongue on account of being religious or "pious".

Do you believe God would use the language of Richard Pryor though in expressing Himself?  Or condone it for us?  IMO, there's a big difference between crap or whore, and some other words that come to mind.  I had a brother tell me he had a "fantasy" of "sharing the gospel of all saved and dropping the 'f' bomb" to those he was sharing with.

If anyone believes that's OK and their conscience allows it, then that's up to them and God.  I'm not their judge.  But I personally disagree, and honestly - I believe as one matures in their walk, they'll find a "middle ground".  A place where they're not prudish and rejecting of people because of their language, while at the same time being sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading as to what pleases God and is helpful to others (often, the same thing) - and may even be used of God to help others mature.   :2c:

[shawn]

God is not... something... ? But basically He calls a whore a whore is the point. He does not hold His tongue on account of being religious or "pious".

Do you believe God would use the language of Richard Pryor though in expressing Himself?  Or condone it for us?  IMO, there's a big difference between crap or whore, and some other words that come to mind.  I had a brother tell me he had a "fantasy" of "sharing the gospel of all saved and dropping the 'f' bomb" to those he was sharing with.

If anyone believes that's OK and their conscience allows it, then that's up to them and God.  I'm not their judge.  But I personally disagree, and honestly - I believe as one matures in their walk, they'll find a "middle ground".  A place where they're not prudish and rejecting of people because of their language, while at the same time being sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading as to what pleases God and is helpful to others (often, the same thing) - and may even be used of God to help others mature.   :2c:

Sometimes when approaching those who are ill, it helps to speak their language.  I'm not saying to drop f bombs but coming across as too pious in some circles shuts doors.  I'm not above meeting someone where they are so they can hear what I am saying.  For me, there is no difference in the "curse word" and the substitute other than some circles are offended by it.  I think that has little to do with maturity.