It's been awhile but I've decided to come back. My misery has cleared alot of things. Hell has a way of purging alot of vain surface thoughts. Anyway,I realize I'm not a christian and probably never will be. The thing I desired a year ago was an escape from my suffering. Thats why i loved searching the bible for healing gifts and 'the rapture". God was not and is not my desire. Hearing about righteousness and sin was always pointless and annoying. I just don't see the whole serving him thing either. Satan is who I wanted to be angry at for my suffering but I see he is just an employee of God. I was always convinced of UR not because of emotions but the text. I don't know where I stand with him. It's an awkward situation because I mentally agree with Christianity but I don't desire Christ.
You will. He will take you through a process of breaking your will and bringing you to a place of desiring Him. It may be out of desparation, or it may be a "flash of lightening". Either way, it's Him having mercy upon you (us).
In the meantime, ask Him to soften your heart and make Himself fully known to you. Honesty is a good place to start. I hope He visits you in a mighty way. James.
This is the CLV read in other translations, still consider your opening thoughts on your post. Ill not hilite anything.
Psa 139:1 A Davidic Psalm O Yahweh, You have investigated me and are knowing me;"
Psa 139:2 You Yourself know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought from afar;
Psa 139:3 My path and my pallet You have measured off, And for all my ways You have made provision."
Psa 139:4 For though there be no declaration on my tongue, Behold, O Yahweh, You know it all."
Psa 139:5 Back and front, You have besieged me, And You set Your palm upon me."
Psa 139:6 Such knowledge is marvelous beyond me; It is impregnable; I cannot reach to it.
Psa 139:7 Whither could I go from Your spirit, And whither could I run away from Your presence?
Psa 139:8 If I should climb to the heavens, You are there, And should I make my berth in the unseen, behold, You are there."
Psa 139:9 Should I wear the wings of dawn, Should I tabernacle in the hindmost sea,
Psa 139:10 Even there Your hand would guide me, And Your right hand, it would hold me."
Psa 139:11 If I said, Surely darkness, it snuffed me up, And night is belted about me,
Psa 139:12 Even darkness, it is not darkening to You, And the night, as the day, is giving light; Darkness is as light."
Psa 139:13 For You Yourself achieved the making of my innermost being; You overshadowed me in my mother's belly.
Psa 139:14 I shall acclaim You, for You are fearfully distinguished; Marvelous are Your works. You have known my soul very thoroughly;"
Psa 139:15 My skeleton was not suppressed from You, When I was made in concealment; I was woven together as in the nether parts of the earth."
Psa 139:16 Your eyes saw my embryo, And my days, all of them were written upon Your scroll; The days were formed When there was not one of them."
Psa 139:17 How precious are Your thoughts to me, O El, How plentiful are their sums:"
Psa 139:18 If I number them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with You."
Psa 139:19 O that You would despatch the wicked, O Eloah, And bloodthirsty men would withdraw from me,
Psa 139:20 Those who speak of You with evil scheming; They bear words of hypocrisy against You.
Psa 139:21 Do I not hate those hating You, O Yahweh, And with those rising against You, am I not disgusted?
Psa 139:22 With complete hatred I hate them; They have become enemies to me.
Psa 139:23 Search me out, O El, and know my heart; Test me, and know my disquieting thoughts."
Psa 139:24 See if a grievous way is in me, And guide me in the way eonian. Permanent"
I've had those thoughts a million times. I was also honest with God that I only wanted to escape this evil world and sucess from God, and seeking rightoeusness was about as fullfilling as watching paint dry, actually watching paint dry would have been more entertaining. But desiring rightoeusness did come eventually and it did become more entertaining or fullfilling to seek peace, and kindness, which thankfully blew the idea of rightousness being a painful and crappy life out of the water. But don't misunderstand me, seeking rightousness can still suck sometimes, especially when dealing with individuals, who need a good kicking. But the good news that through the power of God one can give people a good slap, through his word. Unfortunately a lot of Christians, bash using the word, via their own ego, instead of via the spirit of God, and end up doing more harm than good and their words are more like bitter poisonous arrows as opposed to Gods flaming two edged sword, that divides between bone and marrow and smashes down the barriers of the wicked.
I love Psalm 139 because it has everything to me. God being all knowing and ever present. I've said some terrible things in pain about God and had some apathetic,depressive times. I probably might say things in misery again. I also connect with Psalm 10:1
Psa 10:1 Why do You stand far away, O Jehovah? Will You hide in times of distress?
Psa 10:2 The wicked in his pride will pursue the poor; they will be caught in the schemes which they have devised.
Psa 10:3 For the wicked boasts of his soul's desire, and he has blessed the covetous; he has despised Jehovah.
Psa 10:4 Through pride of his face, the wicked will not seek; there is no God in all of his schemes.
Psa 10:5 His ways are perverted at all times. Your judgments are high from his sight; as for all distressing him, he puffs at them.
Psa 10:6 He has said in his heart, I shall not be moved! From generation to generation never will I be in evil.
Psa 10:7 His mouth is full of cursing and deceit and injury; under his tongue are mischief and vanity.
Psa 10:8 He sits in the hiding places of the villages; in the secret places he murders the innocent; his eyes watch against the poor.
Psa 10:9 He lies in wait secretly like a lion in his den; he lies in ambush to catch the poor; he seizes the poor, drawing him into his net;
Psa 10:10 and the poor being crushed, he bows; yea, the poor have fallen by his strong ones.
Psa 10:11 He has said in his heart, God has forgotten; He hides His face; He will not see forever.
Psa 10:12 Arise, O Jehovah! O God, lift up your hand; do not forget the lowly ones.
Psa 10:13 Why does the wicked one despise God? He has said in his heart, You will not demand it.
Psa 10:14 You have seen, for You take note of trouble and vexation, to give back with Your hand. The poor leaves himself to You; You are the helper of the orphan.
Psa 10:15 Break the arm of the wicked and evil one; search out his wickedness until You find none.
Psa 10:16 Jehovah is King forever and ever; the nations have perished out of His land.
Psa 10:17 O Jehovah, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; Your ear will hear.
Psa 10:18 Judge the orphan and the crushed. No more shall the man of the earth continue to terrify.
Quote from: thinktank on May 28, 2011, 12:52:02 AM
I've had those thoughts a million times. I was also honest with God that I only wanted to escape this evil world and sucess from God, and seeking rightoeusness was about as fullfilling as watching paint dry, actually watching paint dry would have been more entertaining. But desiring rightoeusness did come eventually and it did become more entertaining or fullfilling to seek peace, and kindness, which thankfully blew the idea of rightousness being a painful and crappy life out of the water. But don't misunderstand me, seeking rightousness can still suck sometimes, especially when dealing with individuals, who need a good kicking. But the good news that through the power of God one can give people a good slap, through his word. Unfortunately a lot of Christians, bash using the word, via their own ego, instead of via the spirit of God, and end up doing more harm than good and their words are more like bitter poisonous arrows as opposed to Gods flaming two edged sword, that divides between bone and marrow and smashes down the barriers of the wicked.
One thing about christianity is that conflicted with my views.For example, It seems like a christian has to have unlimited love to a guy that has just slaughtered a family. I want justice and not blind love. I want Heaven and not God. All he has given me is darkness and silence.
All creation is groaning; you're not alone.
Quote from: Beloved Servant on May 28, 2011, 01:43:53 AM
All creation is groaning; you're not alone.
Sure feels like it, even when I make a decision, or especially when I make a decision.
You stated: "I want heaven and not God," so if you feel so alone perhaps you're getting what you asked for — He's just letting you feel that way.
Quote from: iwantmydindin on May 28, 2011, 01:15:14 AM
Quote from: thinktank on May 28, 2011, 12:52:02 AM
I've had those thoughts a million times. I was also honest with God that I only wanted to escape this evil world and sucess from God, and seeking rightoeusness was about as fullfilling as watching paint dry, actually watching paint dry would have been more entertaining. But desiring rightoeusness did come eventually and it did become more entertaining or fullfilling to seek peace, and kindness, which thankfully blew the idea of rightousness being a painful and crappy life out of the water. But don't misunderstand me, seeking rightousness can still suck sometimes, especially when dealing with individuals, who need a good kicking. But the good news that through the power of God one can give people a good slap, through his word. Unfortunately a lot of Christians, bash using the word, via their own ego, instead of via the spirit of God, and end up doing more harm than good and their words are more like bitter poisonous arrows as opposed to Gods flaming two edged sword, that divides between bone and marrow and smashes down the barriers of the wicked.
One thing about christianity is that conflicted with my views.For example, It seems like a christian has to have unlimited love to a guy that has just slaughtered a family. I want justice and not blind love. I want Heaven and not God. All he has given me is darkness and silence.
It's not probable to love such a man, without the love of God, only a few very strong minded individuals are able to do it without God, but yet by their loving they are connected to God I suppose, but this is an area I find challenging to fully understand.
The gospels trumpet a lot about loving our fellow neighbour and sometimes we forget that it is through Gods love and strength that we do the works. That's why priests, monks etc have very strict rituals of prayer and fasting. The common Christian person often forgets, neglects or is simply not taught to do these type of things in order to be filled by Gods spirit and since the bible doesn't talk or instruct much about it as such, people don't regard it as important perhaps.
Quote from: Beloved Servant on May 28, 2011, 03:10:28 PM
You stated: "I want heaven and not God," so if you feel so alone perhaps you're getting what you asked for — He's just letting you feel that way.
Thats an arrogant and pointless statement.I've already stated that I'm under constant affliction and I'm enduring alot of hell. You guys sure don't understand that. I don't have a simple boo boo on my darn body.That's not being dramatic,theatrical or humorous.
Every part of my body is in misery. If he's afflicted me and not giving me any peace,then he's a cold, irrelevant ,deity. It's thats really the case then I say God please stop attacking me. I wish the mormon heaven existed so I wouldn't have to serve him. Or I wish it was like a Robin Williams movie I saw where heaven was reflective of his desires.
This makes me remember when I was first saved - born again. I was so ignorant, standing outside of the box and seeing all the hypocrisy, and the rules... But without the spirit, the person of Christ coming inside of me, there was no other way for me to see. That's the missing piece of the puzzle. I was such a hateful atheist; not the kind to ignore christians. In fact, I was arguing with two of them at the very moment that 'It' happened. I can't say what the words were that sank in, but I knew that this feeling was the very presence of that divine deity, my Creator, speaking to me in words that had no syntax or grammar. Although there were indeed some very literal things he said. I remember them clearly written on the walls of my mind: 'You were wrong', 'Father'. That's it. That's all he said. But I felt like a huge weight that I never knew was there, lifted off me. I cried like a baby with great release, and before that I had forgotten how to cry, or love, or trust, or let go. I thought all my New Age spiritualism had the answers, but I was still miserable for no reason. I have come to know that this is the effect of the presence of demons - oppression of the mind. No peace.
Another great thing I realized was that, even though I never read the bible, and I had so many questions, I didn't have to ask them anymore. I knew somehow that He had all the answers. But that wasn't important anymore. He - was the answer. You don't study the bank statement of a king if he just walks up and gives you a hug. God had hugged me, loved me, forgiven me even while I was so violently hating him and preaching that he didn't exist. I knew that all the rest would work itself out because he wasn't telling me to obey a list of rules. He was just saying, 'Father', 'I'm your Father' You see, he knew my special need, and looked past all the anger and arguments to answer that need. I was an orphan, abused, and a runaway alone, distrusting. I thought it was an intellectual thing, but he said, No, it's an emotional thing. You think it's impossible for someone to be so good and love you so much. I was just waiting, but I never forgot you. I was always there, always listening to your logic, and never holding your sins against you. I loved you from the womb.
This fits because Jesus didn't ask for a moral resume from everyone who came to him. He indiscriminately healed them. He didn't say, 'Now, before I heal you, I want a promise that you'll live up to this grace.' Of course they didn't. I didn't either. I'm the worst christian I ever met, far worse than all the hypocrites I judged. But I still hear his warm voice inside, reassuring and forgiving me even when I'm so far gone in sin that I don't have the power to break my latest addiction! I don't want to know how far I can go and He still love me. I just know that my relationship with him isn't based on how good I am - not me. Why does he love me so? I cursed him so many times, and went so far from him, and I didn't come back. He came for me. I've met many angels. I've had many dreams from him. God has to speak to your heart. You'll find, just as I did, that it is He who is lovable, and christianity that fails. The fact is, if you've come this far, you've probably already crossed over, but Satan doesn't want to let you know it. Just be honest with God. He can take it, believe me. When he speaks to you and lifts that huge burden of sin and demonic oppression, the light will shine so bright, you'll swear you never saw the sun or sky before. You'll understand why believers are willing to suffer so much torture and persecution and injustice. The love of God's spirit, loving from inside us, is more than equal. No reserves. No retreat. No regrets. How many things in life can you say that about. May He find you soon. Reveal yourself to Him Father; just like you did to me, and all of us you called out of the world. Save Him and fill Him with your divine presence. Let him see with his own eyes, (her) own eyes? just how transcendent and incomparable your love is. Welcome him into your fold and family. Amen. God Bless.
Quote from: thinktank on May 28, 2011, 03:31:00 PM
Quote from: iwantmydindin on May 28, 2011, 01:15:14 AM
Quote from: thinktank on May 28, 2011, 12:52:02 AM
I've had those thoughts a million times. I was also honest with God that I only wanted to escape this evil world and sucess from God, and seeking rightoeusness was about as fullfilling as watching paint dry, actually watching paint dry would have been more entertaining. But desiring rightoeusness did come eventually and it did become more entertaining or fullfilling to seek peace, and kindness, which thankfully blew the idea of rightousness being a painful and crappy life out of the water. But don't misunderstand me, seeking rightousness can still suck sometimes, especially when dealing with individuals, who need a good kicking. But the good news that through the power of God one can give people a good slap, through his word. Unfortunately a lot of Christians, bash using the word, via their own ego, instead of via the spirit of God, and end up doing more harm than good and their words are more like bitter poisonous arrows as opposed to Gods flaming two edged sword, that divides between bone and marrow and smashes down the barriers of the wicked.
One thing about christianity is that conflicted with my views.For example, It seems like a christian has to have unlimited love to a guy that has just slaughtered a family. I want justice and not blind love. I want Heaven and not God. All he has given me is darkness and silence.
It's not probable to love such a man, without the love of God, only a few very strong minded individuals are able to do it without God, but yet by their loving they are connected to God I suppose, but this is an area I find challenging to fully understand.
The gospels trumpet a lot about loving our fellow neighbour and sometimes we forget that it is through Gods love and strength that we do the works. That's why priests, monks etc have very strict rituals of prayer and fasting. The common Christian person often forgets, neglects or is simply not taught to do these type of things in order to be filled by Gods spirit and since the bible doesn't talk or instruct much about it as such, people don't regard it as important perhaps.
Love has never been important to me,whatsover. I am also not impressed with some self-righteous person who shows blind love. There is nothing strong about these individuals at all. The point was that it feels horrible,and unnatural to deny my feelings about savage animals.
Consider Jesus as afflicted — Not less is it ours.
"He was afflicted." – Isa. 53:7 — Not less is it ours.
"He was despised and rejected by men." — Not less is it ours.
"a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief." — Not less is it ours.
"He LEARNED obedience by the things which He suffered." — Not less is it ours.
Quote from: Beloved Servant on May 28, 2011, 05:13:10 PM
Consider Jesus as afflicted — Not less is it ours.
"He was afflicted." – Isa. 53:7 — Not less is it ours.
"He was despised and rejected by men." — Not less is it ours.
"a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief." — Not less is it ours.
"He LEARNED obedience by the things which He suffered." — Not less is it ours.
You could add the Apostle Paul and his thorn in the flesh. iwantmydindin read Hebrews chap 11, specially verses 36-40
We all have our trials to go through.
Father is looking for us to trust His Love, His sovereignty in our lives. We look not to this world, but to the promise of ALL things one day being made right.
I will lift you up to the throne of grace my friend
Quote from: iwantmydindin on May 28, 2011, 04:31:31 PM
Quote from: thinktank on May 28, 2011, 03:31:00 PM
Quote from: iwantmydindin on May 28, 2011, 01:15:14 AM
Quote from: thinktank on May 28, 2011, 12:52:02 AM
I've had those thoughts a million times. I was also honest with God that I only wanted to escape this evil world and sucess from God, and seeking rightoeusness was about as fullfilling as watching paint dry, actually watching paint dry would have been more entertaining. But desiring rightoeusness did come eventually and it did become more entertaining or fullfilling to seek peace, and kindness, which thankfully blew the idea of rightousness being a painful and crappy life out of the water. But don't misunderstand me, seeking rightousness can still suck sometimes, especially when dealing with individuals, who need a good kicking. But the good news that through the power of God one can give people a good slap, through his word. Unfortunately a lot of Christians, bash using the word, via their own ego, instead of via the spirit of God, and end up doing more harm than good and their words are more like bitter poisonous arrows as opposed to Gods flaming two edged sword, that divides between bone and marrow and smashes down the barriers of the wicked.
One thing about christianity is that conflicted with my views.For example, It seems like a christian has to have unlimited love to a guy that has just slaughtered a family. I want justice and not blind love. I want Heaven and not God. All he has given me is darkness and silence.
It's not probable to love such a man, without the love of God, only a few very strong minded individuals are able to do it without God, but yet by their loving they are connected to God I suppose, but this is an area I find challenging to fully understand.
The gospels trumpet a lot about loving our fellow neighbour and sometimes we forget that it is through Gods love and strength that we do the works. That's why priests, monks etc have very strict rituals of prayer and fasting. The common Christian person often forgets, neglects or is simply not taught to do these type of things in order to be filled by Gods spirit and since the bible doesn't talk or instruct much about it as such, people don't regard it as important perhaps.
Love has never been important to me,whatsover. I am also not impressed with some self-righteous person who shows blind love. There is nothing strong about these individuals at all. The point was that it feels horrible,and unnatural to deny my feelings about savage animals.
This might hurt, brace yourself. Since you have said love is not important to you whatsoever, you are in fact a type of animal, maybe this will help you identify the savage within yourself and see the wolf that looks back. This helps you understand the behaviour of these savage animals, at least a little.
It might seem harsh but this is part of the process of being a christian, is to look in the mirror and see the great evil that resides there. Self righteous people tend to ignore the evil in their own hearts and enjoy condeming others, sometimes it takes a great knock down, such as Sauls case to realize the great evil a person harbours in their own hearts, so then they can truly repent and love others who have the same problems.
I don't know if you would be even interested :dontknow:... the Spirit prompted me to post this. This was my morning devotion today :happy3:
THE LONG PROCESS OF SPIRITUAL GROWTH
"The work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance" (Isaiah 32:17).
Spiritual growth does not occur at the rate, or in the methods that are traditionally accepted. Instead God works steadily and effectually for His Own purpose. He is in no rush by human schedule. He works to bring us to a place of spiritual quietness, which along with assurance, is the genuine effect of righteousness.
His divine work may not be done in accordance with your time tables, or by your predetermined methods or standards. Nonetheless, He is the Creator, and you are His creature. He is the Potter, and you are His clay. He molds and fashions you according to His own will and design.
"But now, O LORD, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You our Potter; and we all are the work of Your hand" (Isaiah 64:8).
"`Arise, and go down to the potter's house, and there I will cause you to hear My Words.' Then I went down to the potter's house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels. And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it. Then the Word of the LORD came to me, saying, `O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter?' said the LORD. `Behold, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel'" (Jeremiah 18:2-6).
Even Paul the Apostle echoes these important thoughts:
"Has not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honor, and another unto dishonor?" (Romans 9:21).
The Master Potter is faithfully and steadily at work in you. Make no mistake about it: He works all things after His Own will.
"In Whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of Him Who works all things after the counsel of His Own will" (Ephesians 1:11).
His hand in your life leaves no place untouched. Even that which seemingly is working against you is used by your Father to fulfill His Own good purpose in your life.
"And we know that all things work together for good to them who love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).
This truth can be seen in the life of our Apostle. Paul wrote to the Philippians from prison. The circumstances of his life had the appearance of working negatively – extremely negatively. Yet, he wrote with such confidence that the opposite was actually true:
"But I would that you should understand, brethren, that the things which happened unto me have fallen out rather unto the furtherance of the gospel" (Philippians 1:12).
Another powerful example is demonstrated in the life of Joseph. The same was true with him. His brothers had sold him into slavery. This had been, upon the surface, a very sad and unfortunate turn of events; but Joseph saw a divine purpose:
"But as for you, you thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good" (Genesis 50:20).
At times God will even lead you through "the valley of the shadow of death;" but as long as He is with you, even the darkest, lowest valley is really the higher ground!
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me" (Psalm 23:4).
Paul experienced such gut-wrenching hardness, that at times he even "despaired of life,"
"For we would not, brothers, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life" (II Corinthians 1:8).
However, he was quick to add,
"But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God Who raises the dead" (II Corinthians 1:9).
The fact is simple – you can trust God. He alone is truly trustworthy; and He has a definite goal in sight for you! Your Father is taking you on a journey that has as its final goal conformity unto Christ.
"For whom He did foreknow, He also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the Firstborn among many brothers" (Romans 8:29).
To be conformed to the image of His Son is your predestination. To take you on this journey will mean many years of wilderness and valleys. His current goal is to bring you to a place where you find your completeness, satisfaction, contentment, glory, thanksgiving and rejoicing in Him alone, and not in your circumstances. This is what a walk of faith is all about: not saying, "Look, look ..." while you point to the circumstances all around you, but saying, "Look, look ..." while you point to your Lord and His cross. For Christ and His finished cross-work are the very object of the Father's eye; and so He is working to make them the object of yours as well.
Clyde L. Pilkington, Jr.
© Daily Email Goodies™
Quote from: Beloved Servant on May 28, 2011, 05:13:10 PM
Consider Jesus as afflicted — Not less is it ours.
"He was afflicted." – Isa. 53:7 — Not less is it ours.
"He was despised and rejected by men." — Not less is it ours.
"a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief." — Not less is it ours.
"He LEARNED obedience by the things which He suffered." — Not less is it ours.
Jesus knew his purpose and place in the universe. I am a human in pain and not a god.
This might hurt, brace yourself. Since you have said love is not important to you whatsoever, you are in fact a type of animal, maybe this will help you identify the savage within yourself and see the wolf that looks back. This helps you understand the behaviour of these savage animals, at least a little.
It might seem harsh but this is part of the process of being a christian, is to look in the mirror and see the great evil that resides there. Self righteous people tend to ignore the evil in their own hearts and enjoy condeming others, sometimes it takes a great knock down, such as Sauls case to realize the great evil a person harbours in their own hearts, so then they can truly repent and love others who have the same problems.
[/quote]
I will never believe that utter,ridiculous trash. I have never sown seeds of discord in this world. All I have ever wanted was alittle contentment and simply that. Although,I'm glad you posted what you did. That same line of thought is what turned me off to the Gary guy. All I heard was anti-military rhetoric and again blind pacificsm. The absurd statement that Gary would have been just like hitler if not for God
Quote from: iwantmydindin on May 28, 2011, 04:08:35 PM
Quote from: Beloved Servant on May 28, 2011, 03:10:28 PM
You stated: "I want heaven and not God," so if you feel so alone perhaps you're getting what you asked for — He's just letting you feel that way.
Thats an arrogant and pointless statement.I've already stated that I'm under constant affliction and I'm enduring alot of hell. You guys sure don't understand that. I don't have a simple boo boo on my darn body.That's not being dramatic,theatrical or humorous. Every part of my body is in misery. If he's afflicted me and not giving me any peace,then he's a cold, irrelevant ,deity. It's thats really the case then I say God please stop attacking me. I wish the mormon heaven existed so I wouldn't have to serve him. Or I wish it was like a Robin Williams movie I saw where heaven was reflective of his desires.
There are lot's of reasons why this could be happening. First realize that God is not a respecter of persons who loves others others more than others, even though he does, e.g he loved John, Peter, but the point is that he is big enough and large enough to give everyone love including Judas, and that's one reason he was upset when Judas betrayed him.
The other thing to realize is that being a follower of Christ does not mean instant peace or constant peace. I have been a follower of his for a while now and have prayed a huge amount, but yet His peace is fleeting that comes and goes. I am affraid that is the way it goes in this world, one must pass through the valley of the shadow of death. Some other people though have his peace for very long periods of time, maybe they keep themselves clean or God as other plans for them etc.
Perhaps God in your case leaves you in the dark ,so that you call out to Him and trust in Him that he will deliver you. You must get to work and start reading his word and seek his face. Some people He just turns up after just a whimper, but others must fight and give him a worthy sacrifice just like Abel, that is pleasing. The psalms say he delights in songs, maybe you can sing him a song about your dark condition, needing his help.
:2c:
"So all the congregation lifted up their voices and cried, and the people wept that night. And all the children of Israel complained against Moses and Aaron, and the whole congregation said to them, 'If only we had died in the land of Egypt! Or if only we had died in this wilderness! Why has the Lord brought us to this land to fall by the sword, that our wives and children should become victims? Would it not be better for us to return to Egypt?'" (Num. 14:1-3)
In the above text the Israelites murmured against their gracious and loving God. Needless to say, their murmurings displeased Him.
[/quote]
There are lot's of reasons why this could be happening. First realize that God is not a respecter of persons who loves others others more than others, even though he does, e.g he loved John, Peter, but the point is that he is big enough and large enough to give everyone love including Judas, and that's one reason he was upset when Judas betrayed him.
The other thing to realize is that being a follower of Christ does not mean instant peace or constant peace. I have been a follower of his for a while now and have prayed a huge amount, but yet His peace is fleeting that comes and goes. I am affraid that is the way it goes in this world, one must pass through the valley of the shadow of death. Some other people though have his peace for very long periods of time, maybe they keep themselves clean or God as other plans for them etc.
Perhaps God in your case leaves you in the dark ,so that you call out to Him and trust in Him that he will deliver you. You must get to work and start reading his word and seek his face. Some people He just turns up after just a whimper, but others must fight and give him a worthy sacrifice just like Abel, that is pleasing. The psalms say he delights in songs, maybe you can sing him a song about your dark condition, needing his help.
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Well,I'm quite desperate for healing and peace. All of this may be extreme frustration with misery talking. I'm simply not a servant type in my current thinking. A healing would restore me and let me know he's real. One things for sure he has kept me in the dark.
Quote from: Beloved Servant on May 29, 2011, 02:35:23 AM
"So all the congregation lifted up their voices and cried, and the people wept that night. And all the children of Israel complained against Moses and Aaron, and the whole congregation said to them, 'If only we had died in the land of Egypt! Or if only we had died in this wilderness! Why has the Lord brought us to this land to fall by the sword, that our wives and children should become victims? Would it not be better for us to return to Egypt?'" (Num. 14:1-3)
In the above text the Israelites murmured against their gracious and loving God. Needless to say, their murmurings displeased Him.
You know what you posted is making me furious and annoyed. Thinktank,great post but beloved that is again pointless and arrogant. By the way,God seemed anything but gracious and loving. The story is irrelevent and insulting....predictably an amusing, self-righteous post.
QuoteWell,I'm quite desperate for healing and peace. All of this may be extreme frustration with misery talking. I'm simply not a servant type in my current thinking. A healing would restore me and let me know he's real. One things for sure he has kept me in the dark.
Hi, I've had trouble making sense out of this thread, but if you are in chronic physical pain maybe we should be praying for a healing for you.
Could you tell us more clearly what you are hoping for from us? I'm sure people would be willing to give what they could if they understood more. Also, do you have a name we could use for you?
While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit."