Free will and eternal hell

[willieH]

willieH: Hi WW... :hithere:

boy bro... your "emoticon" addiction is growing below eh?  :laughing7:

Maybe we can go to "emoticon" REHAB meetings together eh?  :pointlaugh:

That we cannot see the process as a whole, and how He is working it together, is where people in that finite mindset, object to the process because they figure they are being FORCED... one way or the other...

Doesn't that mean that we can't make any claim about having a choice of lane?
Say we switch from lane #8 to lane #15.
I wouldn't be suprised if it feels that we make the choice to switch lanes.
But as you wrote we can't see the process. So we can't verify God put that choice in our mind.
So if you claim we have no knowledge of the whole you automaticly are saying you also don't know if you can freely switch lanes.
That's the way I see it. :laughing7:

:hithere: :reachout: :hithere: :reachout: :hithere: :reachout: :hithere: :reachout: :hithere: :reachout:

The Scriptures speak SPIRITUALLY bro... they must be understood in the Spirit... that GOD notes in His WORD, over and over, that MAN does not know how to order his own steps or that man proposes a way which seems right but is in vain, is evidence enough for me that GOD is in CONTROL, ...which makes sense because HE IS GOD!

We only "switch lanes" because He has DECLARED that we shall do so... and we are just following that WISE and ETERNAL pathway to the next lane, amongst the other "lane changers"... as GOD WORKS ALL THINGS according to HIS WILL (Eph 1:11)

No amount of back & forth will give you sight of this brother... only the SPIRITUAL revelation shall do this...

It is ULTIMATELY HUMBLE to REALize that WE, have control of NOTHING... And gain the observation, that MAN in his natural state, fights and claws through life to gain control of this or that, all life long... to end in his own glory...

Mans philosophy:  "he who ends up with the most toys, and prettiest wife, WINS" --  :Yeahright:

When the SPIRIT of GOD, via His WORD, reveals that YOU are only YOU because the SPIRIT of GOD, makes you, ...YOU... then YOU find that the only SIGNIFICANCE you have, is that GOD LOVES YOU... and has given YOU to KNOW that LOVE...  :HeartThrob:

There is no greater THING in LIFE, then to realize truly that GOD LOVES YOU, and that HIS LOVE, is the sole reason and significance for LIFE...

Melting in, and being absorbed in that LOVE, is what LIFE is all about... and ALL shall be absorbed by His LOVE, in due time... which is WHY He asks us to FORGIVE, and LOVE one another, for it is our collective DESTINY, ...For ...EVER!

peacE...
willieH   :icon_jokercolor:

[WhiteWings]

willieH: Hi WW... :hithere:

boy bro... your addiction is growing below eh?  :laughing7:

Yeah. Like with any addiction you want more more more. But you red-cap-man made me an addict.
Now I'm gonna try to get addicted to Jesus. Not much luck sofar...

No amount of back & forth will give you sight of this brother... only the SPIRITUAL revelation shall do this...

I better stop reading then because i'm deaf and blind. I read and remember verses and posts. But feel nothing more or less that reading any other book.

God ordered me to only use 1 icon in this post.

:hithere: :reachout: :boydance:
(now just hope He has a sense of humor..)

[rosered]

Noah  preached to all those  people  it was the Christ in him doing that  , I am sure , but He found favor / grace in Gods eyes  and how did Noah do  that ?
      I have much more questions than answers bro , that is true 

You answer your own question ...WITHIN your question sis... 

Noah found favor [GRACE] in God's eyes, because the SON in whom YHVH is WELL PLEASED was the CHRIST being revealed ...IN HIM...

That CHRIST is found in ANY MAN, is the GRACE of GOD appearing IN that man... 

  OH Willie Willie Willie H  , thanks bro for the clarity ,  :HeartThrob:
ya know yer right  ALL GLORY IS GODS and I thank  Him for that  whew!
  and you what Bro ?  when the Christ Is revealed in  any chosen man /flesh 
it is a wonder to behiold ! I get it now , I am a little slow ya know !!  :sigh:, 

makes me realize this verse more fully now  [a quicked  excitment  light bulb on sota thing  .. hee hee
Hereby know ye the Spirit of God:
  Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that [spirit] of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.

  THE SPIRIT OF CHRIST does come in our flesh and the Son does please the Father   :thumbsup:

  God love ya  :HeartThrob:

[willieH]

willieH: Hi WW...  :laughing7:

Stand up and confess...  :blush: "I, White Wings, ...am an "emoti-holic"...   :Evilgrin: :pointlaugh:

willieH: Hi WW... :hithere:

boy bro... your addiction is growing below eh?  :laughing7:

Yeah. Like with any addiction you want more more more. But you red-cap-man made me an addict.

Just like Adam blaming Eve, for his own shortcomings - eh?   :laugh:

Now I'm gonna try to get addicted to Jesus. Not much luck sofar...

I'm not so sure bud...  :JCThink:

You wouldn't be here if you were not in the process bro...  :friendstu:

No amount of back & forth will give you sight of this brother... only the SPIRITUAL revelation shall do this...

I better stop reading then because i'm deaf and blind. I read and remember verses and posts. But feel nothing more or less that reading any other book.

"Feeling" is not part of the process... KNOWING is found in REVELATION...

The biggest difference, is that you most likely do not seek out and participate in FORUMS which are discussing other books you read...  :dontknow:

You are of the most DAILY participants here... which means you spend at least part of each day with us... (believers)... This is not coincidental it is PURPOSED by you, because YOU ARE INTERESTED... which is the beginning of the process...

God ordered me to only use 1 icon in this post.

:hithere: :reachout: :boydance:
(now just hope He has a sense of humor..)

No matter how you might joke about it... you are destined to be of His Children brother... and that is NOT of your choice...  :cloud9:

It is because HE LOVES you... which is HIS CHOICE!

peacE...
willieH   :icon_jokercolor:

[willieH]

willieH: Hi sis... :hithere:

Noah  preached to all those  people  it was the Christ in him doing that  , I am sure , but He found favor / grace in Gods eyes  and how did Noah do  that ?
      I have much more questions than answers bro , that is true 

You answer your own question ...WITHIN your question sis... 

Noah found favor [GRACE] in God's eyes, because the SON in whom YHVH is WELL PLEASED was the CHRIST being revealed ...IN HIM...

That CHRIST is found in ANY MAN, is the GRACE of GOD appearing IN that man... 

OH Willie Willie Willie H  , thanks bro for the clarity ,  :HeartThrob:
ya know yer right  ALL GLORY IS GODS and I thank  Him for that  whew!
  and you what Bro ?  when the Christ Is revealed in  any chosen man /flesh 
it is a wonder to behiold ! I get it now , I am a little slow ya know !!  :sigh:,

You aren't "slow" at all!  You are right on the pace which GOD intends you to be on!  :bgdance:

makes me realize this verse more fully now  [a quicked  excitment  light bulb on sota thing  .. hee hee
Hereby know ye the Spirit of God:
  Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that [spirit] of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.

  THE SPIRIT OF CHRIST does come in our flesh and the Son does please the Father   :thumbsup:

  God love ya  :HeartThrob:

God love you too sis!   :giveheart:

peacE...
willieH   :icon_jokercolor:

[Molly]

Noah  preached to all those  people  it was the Christ in him doing that  , I am sure , but He found favor / grace in Gods eyes  and how did Noah do  that ?
      I have much more questions than answers bro , that is true 

You answer your own question ...WITHIN your question sis... 

Noah found favor [GRACE] in God's eyes, because the SON in whom YHVH is WELL PLEASED was the CHRIST being revealed ...IN HIM...

That CHRIST is found in ANY MAN, is the GRACE of GOD appearing IN that man... 

  OH Willie Willie Willie H  , thanks bro for the clarity ,  :HeartThrob:
ya know yer right  ALL GLORY IS GODS and I thank  Him for that  whew!
  and you what Bro ?  when the Christ Is revealed in  any chosen man /flesh 
it is a wonder to behiold ! I get it now , I am a little slow ya know !!  :sigh:, 

makes me realize this verse more fully now  [a quicked  excitment  light bulb on sota thing  .. hee hee
Hereby know ye the Spirit of God:
  Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that [spirit] of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.

  THE SPIRIT OF CHRIST does come in our flesh and the Son does please the Father   :thumbsup:

  God love ya  :HeartThrob:

1 Every high priest is chosen from among men. He is appointed to act for them in everything that has to do with God. He offers gifts and sacrifices for their sins. 2 He is able to deal gently with those who have gone down the wrong path without knowing it. He can do that because he himself is weak. 3 That's why he has to offer sacrifices for his own sins. He must also do it for the sins of the people.

4 No one can take that honor for himself. He must be appointed by God, just as Aaron was.

5 Even Christ did not take the glory of becoming a high priest for himself. God said to him,
   "You are my Son.
      Today I have become your Father." —(Psalm 2:7)
6 In another place he said,
   "You are a priest forever,
      just like Melchizedek." —(Psalm 110:4)

--Hebrews 5

[Molly]

Again, the son has free will--

Matthew 26:53
Thinkest thou that I cannot now pray to my Father, and he shall presently give me more than twelve legions of angels?

[willieH]

Again, the son has free will--

Matthew 26:53
Thinkest thou that I cannot now pray to my Father, and he shall presently give me more than twelve legions of angels?

This does not prove "free will" at ALL!  ...It was NOT the will of the FATHER for 12 legions of angels to be given, so the fact that they were available, does not mean that availability was even a CHOICE... it was just a stated availability... which was NOT in the plan.

CHRIST did not exercise this prayer, did He?  WHY?  Because it was NOT the WILL of GOD that He exercise it.

ALL that He ...DID... (doing displays choosing)... was according to the WILL of YHVH, which WILL did NOT include that 12 legions of angels come to His rescue...

The WILL of YHVH was that CHRIST go to the cross to redeem MAN... not to have CHRIST "choose" to DO otherwise, by exercising "His WILL"...

peacE...
willieH   :icon_jokercolor:

[Molly]

The WILL of YHVH was that CHRIST go to the cross to redeem MAN... not to have CHRIST "choose" to DO otherwise, by exercising "His WILL"...

I disagree.  Jesus did what he did in complete knowledge and awareness of his choices and outcomes.

To say otherwise is to detract from the wonderful gift he freely gave us.

[CHB]

It is ULTIMATELY HUMBLE to REALize that WE, have control of NOTHING... And gain the observation, that MAN in his natural state, fights and claws through life to gain control of this or that, all life long... to end in his own glory...

Amen!!!!!

Willie, you sure do have a way with words. God has really blessed you with this gift. Reading your posts on "free will" humbles me. I agree with everything you say on this, I wish everyone could see this but I have to keep reminding myself that this is also in God's hands. Oh!! if everyone could see just how big God is and how small and powerless we are.

I disagree.  Jesus did what he did in complete knowledge and awareness of his choices and outcomes.

Jesus always said that he came to do the will of the Father, not his own will. Everything Jesus did was from the Father. Jesus said of himself he could do NOTHING. Jesus knew the outcomes and I guess he was aware of his choices but this was from God his Father, not Himself. In (John 10:17-18) Jesus said "I lay down my life. (Verse 18) No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down OF MYSELF'.  But then he said "THIS COMMANDMENT HAVE I RECEIVED OF MY FATHER".

CHB

[Molly]

Jesus always said that he came to do the will of the Father, not his own will.

Meaning he had free will to do so.

[willieH]

Jesus always said that he came to do the will of the Father, not his own will.

Meaning he had free will to do so.

You have amply displayed that you don't get it...  which is God's will for you...  :cloud9:

The WILL of GOD, is that YOU DISMISS your flesh, as it presents its desires to you... as did CHRIST when His flesh presented temptations in which to indulge...  The WILL which CHRIST dismissed was the NATURAL state and desires of the FLESH in which He found Himself...  Those desires ALWAYS were OPPOSITE the WILL of the FATHER...  In the wilderness, in the Garden, etc...

That JESUS was SENT to SAVE the WORLD, was His GIVEN mission, from which He strayed NOT!  ...His mission did NOT involve Him indulging any WILL but the Father's... and so He did NOT DO SO... 

If He did NOTHING but the WILL of YHVH... 

"His will", WAS the WILL of YHVH, for He is the IMAGE of GOD, expressed in visible and audible, human form.

What He did, and you find yourself confused, is ...on occasion He DISMISSED His flesh... which was tempted... by NOTING the WILL of YHVH to DEFEAT it... and its ADVERSARIAL proposals...

Which means that He had NO "free will" of His own... His WILL was to do the WILL of  GOD... which btw, was His instruction to us...  :dontknow:

You only prove by your own words, what I just said previously about "scratching and clawing" to maintain any (even microscopic) degree of control, by claiming your will to be FREE...

You would in your vision, have YOUR WILL, dictate to GOD... rather than His to you... and thereby YOU would "force Him" to deal with YOU... and the choices you (supposedly) FREELY make apart from Him... :rolleye:

Not knowing that YOU only do, as He has already noted you would DO, before you were born (as He did of Jacob and Esau - Rom 9:11)... (He has no partiality one human to another, so the same IMPARTIALITY is shown to each one... and the same predestination concerning those lives being equally impartial as well - Acts 10:34 / Rom 2:11 / 2 Sam 14:14 / Job 34:19)

I have given the example of our bodies, ...maybe you missed it:

Your arms do not DO as THEY "will"... they DO as your HEAD "wills"... Your eyes do not LOOK at things THEY "will"... they DO as your HEAD "wills"... and so on...

The BODY of CHRIST, is no different... It DOES as the HEAD decides it shall do or not do...

In your observance, you would observe CHRIST having NO CONTROL over His BODY!   Rather, you would have HIS BODY, dictating to the HEAD...  :thumbdown:

peacE...
willieH   :icon_jokercolor:

[Molly]

2Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

--Heb 12


He endured the cross for the joy that was set before him--us!--meaning he had a choice.

[Molly]

But then he said "THIS COMMANDMENT HAVE I RECEIVED OF MY FATHER".

A soldier takes commands from his commanding officer. Would you then detract from his bravery, courage, faithfulness, and service to his country when he loses his life following those orders because he was faithful in following orders?  Would you say he had no choice?


John 15:13
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

[Craig]

As any rational and reasonable person will note, when you have two wills, the stronger of the two will always win. This does not destroy freedom of will. So so far, nobody in the anti-free-will position has made their case as pointed out by many here. So all I see is a bunch of people who pretend to know what they are talking about but have no actual facts or reason to support it, if a person has a will, there is freedom of will. Without freedom, there is no will.

This is going to defeat every anti-freewill reason in this thread.

2 Timothy 2:26
That they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

Do the will of the devil? Hrm....? Well it appears that God's will is not always done in this journey and we, ambassadors of God on earth, are held responsible to bring people back to their senses and stop doing the will of the devil and to do the will of God. This conflict is impossible without the possibility of the freedom of will to pursue them.

As I said, those who are against free-will, are committing to a fallacy and deception that is so obvious to those who truly free. I made the choice to follow Christ, despite He saving me. We love him (our choice) because He first loved us. We choose Him because He first chose us. The moment there is more than one choice present for our will to choose, regardless how absurd, crazy, simple, difficult, etc. the choice, we still have freedom to make it.

There is no debate, no matter how much rhetoric is said. Free-will is not self-determination. Free-will has nothing to do with God's determined salvation. Come back to your senses and escape the trap of the devil who by your inability to see you have a freedom of choice, have never made a choice and therefore follow the will of the devil. You, those who continue to deny it, do a disservice to Christ and the truth of Universal Salvation in Him; You who are unable to distinguish the journey from the destination, denying the law of reaping and sowing, repentance and forgiveness, denying the truth which truly sets someone free is that when the Son has set you free, you are free indeed. FREE, regardless if you accept Him or believe in Him. I have no good words for those who plant seeds of deception into the minds and hearts of those who have just come from an evil system of belief only to jump into another evil system of belief. That evil system that 'whatever will be will be', that we do what we do because that is what was meant to do, promoting sin because there is no freedom from it. We all must make a choice, and we have the freedom of will to make that choice.WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO COME BACK TO YOUR  SENSES? That is what I am telling each and everyone of you, who deny that we have no freedom of will, come back to your senses, you cause little ones to sin. Jesus had harsh words for those people who caused the little ones to sin.

[WhiteWings]

I'll try to explain my position in this by supporting it with verses. (within my limitations)
God's masterplan will be completed to the very last letter.
God has the has the power to control everything He wishes. The big question is: Does He use that power.
My short answer on a limited scale:

Joh_6:44 - No one can come to Him unless He draws them.
Here we see some power displayed. But as the verse states not to everyone.

Matthew 21:44 And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
This sounds like your own choice.
Isaiah 29:13 .... and their fear of me is a commandment taught by men => a choice of what you want to believe
Matthew 15:6   you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition => Ignore God for your tradition
Luke 12:57 So why don't you judge for yourselves what is right?
1 Thessalonians 5:21 but test all things. Hold on to what is good.
Corinthians 10:15 I speak as to wise men; you judge what I say.
Matthew 17:25 Jesus spoke to him first, saying, "What do you think, Simon? From whom do kings of the earth take tax? From their sons or from others?"

Matthew 7:14  Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
=> finding is an activity of the (wanabe) believer

Matthew 7:15  Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
=> following false prophets sounds like a choice.

Matthew 7:21  Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
=> So some igonore the will of Father.

Proverbs 1:15-16  My son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path:  16 For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood.
=> Sounds like be able to choose a path

Many more such verses.

Basicly I see it this way.
We can resist God in this life. We can resist Him for a while in the next life. But He will bring so much evidence of to court that shows we where/are wrong and He was always right that eventually we break down and finally see and walk the only right path.
And then Gods masterplan is complete.

[WhiteWings]

Now I'm gonna try to get addicted to Jesus. Not much luck sofar...

I'm not so sure bud...  :JCThink:

You wouldn't be here if you were not in the process bro...  :friendstu:

No amount of back & forth will give you sight of this brother... only the SPIRITUAL revelation shall do this...

I better stop reading then because i'm deaf and blind. I read and remember verses and posts. But feel nothing more or less that reading any other book.

"Feeling" is not part of the process... KNOWING is found in REVELATION...

The biggest difference, is that you most likely do not seek out and participate in FORUMS which are discussing other books you read...  :dontknow:

You are of the most DAILY participants here... which means you spend at least part of each day with us... (believers)... This is not coincidental it is PURPOSED by you, because YOU ARE INTERESTED... which is the beginning of the process...

Now you make the mistake you always accuse me of. You look at my actions not my spirit.
If I posted daily on a Mickey Mouse forum would you say I'm drawn there by the Disney god?
Or if I frequently visit a WW2 forum I suddenly am a soldier?
I read debates between people discussing McCain vs Obama. I'm not even allowed to vote in the US.
I like to read science books about the moon. But I'm not howling at the full moon.

So being here doesn't make me a Chistian.
It like the verse that states that it's not about speaking the words of God but acting to them....

[Molly]

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.



IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America




Eph 1
6to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

[pneuma]

Phillipians 2:13
13For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. KJV

13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. New Living Translation

Yes, but it does not say God is willing for us, which would be what it should say if man does not have a free will.

What do you do with the scripture that says if we WILFULLY sin after comming into the knowledge of the truth, are we to assume God made us WILFULLY sin? I suriously doubt that.

[pneuma]

people who are 'anti-free-will' still don't understand the difference between the journey (free-will) and destination (sovereignty).

Amen craig that the same impression I got :thumbsup:, mixing the journey up with the destination and we get the conflict within the scriptures, seperate the destination from the journey and the conflict disapears.

[Molly]

Bottom line--Men are terrified of freedom.

Freedom takes tremendous courage and a belief in the goodness of God.



Job 10:12
You gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit.

[firstborn888]

I believe the two sides here are simply arguing from two different levels of ontological abstraction.

There is no 'correct' answer because, depending on the layer of philosophical strata you happen to be peering into, they are both true.

Part of being human is the illusion that we are autonomous creatures, freely strolling down the road of life. The real answers cannot come from quoting verses of scripture but only from understanding that there is a reason (that is, a cause) for every decision made.

AISI

:Sparkletooth:

[rosered]

 

  Hi all , well I have for one been informed  greatly by this thread ,thanks be to God  and all  contributing  :cloud9:

to be honest here , I was uncertian , what to believe
  I know that man will go to kicking and screaming all the way as the flesh& soul do buck up against the Will of God till the surrender  comes , I for one have  done such things utterly wasting time and precious energy , wanting my way  and it was NOT meant to be 
until I gave up , quit  trying and said God you do it ,  I cannot and do not know what is good or best for anyone  and I know you DO  now ! 
  that coming to  knowledge saved me
half the struggle was not trusting in God like I said I did , but did not do it at all

  Peter was  prime  example of this when he resisted with arguments  and force against Jesus going to the Cross !  Peters will was not Gods will or Jesus for that matter and become a stumbling Block [a Roadblock in the way] of Jesus course  , narrow path  , and  Peter was minful of the things of men and Not God , Jesus was mindful of the Things of God , heavenly things , that to me is the whole differnce , in the free will verse Gods will , one is  earthly sensual and devilish the Other is Wisdom from Above sent to us and MUST BE in Us to work 
I know 1st  Adam was  given earthly dominion [rule ]will  and that was  exercised  , utilized and  manifested  , but the 2ND ADAM was given ALL RULE  and Is being made Known  as well  and to me that is the difference  of the earthly and  heavenly wisdom being  willed/desired   , for lack of a better  comparison  here ...

[Paul Hazelwood]

Hi Willie

How does God ordain the desire for my friend to do drugs and not be the one who has tempted my friend to do those things?

Ja 1:13 . Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:

[rosered]

Hi Willie

How does God ordain the desire for my friend to do drugs and not be the one who has tempted my friend to do those things?

Ja 1:13 . Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:

Paul 
  Can I speak from experience here ? I was just as your Friend  mate ...
   your Friend  whom the time has not come yet , to be delivered from his own [sin, error] it takes time for  the fleshly lusts  to become  so bad and  he becomes so EMPTY   , filling them desires only leaves you wanting and needing more and more to the point of where  you want to be DEAD  , 
you see when death  becomes your desire over constant sinning and knowing your  lost and empty  ,  and you are just so sick of  what life has become to you  , you are like a dog chasing its tail , the  circle /cycle 
  becomes so meaningless  and literal death seems like an option   because you have been in a self destrucive  mode of thinking for such a long time , you do contemplate your options  ,  God sounds good to you  finally after digging a hole so deep you cannot get out of it , you are trapped and you know it ... the sting of death has hurt everything around you for so long a time   because you are in a state of mourning and loss of what to do , you have heard of God but DO NOT KNOW HIM ,, and doubt you can be saved  , we all have felt worthless  from time to time  , no matter what  we try to do to get relief /peace , rest even
our Hope is in God  and we dont even know that at the time .. 
wishing you friend wellness and peace and the seal of God in his mind and heart ..........


Rev 9:6 And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them.