new here

[ofelia]

hi all.
Been reading threads around here for a couple weeks now. 1 1/2 feet in. maybe 2, it's a lot to take in. This is how I wound up here. The HS opened my eyes about five years ago to this truth...before I knew much of the traditions of men, never read bible much, etc. Starting getting very involved in a baptist-calvinist community very shortly after. Immediately felt the bondage but couldn't identify it. Read everything I could get my hands on. John Piper, Matt Chandler, Mark Driscoll, all very big influences in my walk. Love my community as well. Always have been a bit hesitant about all the doctrines many people seemed so comfortable with. I referred to it as 'the tension.' <---- all the things that never fell into place in my heart and which I could not agree with, ie strict calvinism, strict arminianism, ET, difficulty sharing Jesus, I totally retreated into myself because I felt selfish and strange about being saved in the company of people I love who didn't believe the things I believed yet unable to share the good news...because there was something awry...my heart was not free. I always understood ET like this....God does all things in love, but the purpose in all He does is to Glorify His name, it is not about us, it is about His glory and if this is how he gets His glory then we are being presumptuous in questioning the unfathomable mysteries of God's ways. He is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him (JP--like this and believe this but...). Also, we each are fully convinced of our decision to love Him or reject Him, we are each fully guilty and fully deserving of whatever punishment God deems necessary, and our contention should not be O, God why have you not saved all, but rather, thank you God that in Your mercy you have chosen to save some. I assented to these things mentally, but they never all clicked holistically. I just always took this as me being finite and still having much sin in me that I could not fathom the truths of God.

Sorry, I am going into more detail then I intended. I will cut it short -- About a month ago I was like you know what, even if it makes me a heretic I am going to pray that God save the entire world, I am just going to pray for that because that's my deepest desire anyway (thank you, HS); besides didn't Moses ask God to relent and didn't God not bring the disaster he initially pronounced on Ninevah, etc. It made sense in that moment that if the end had not yet come, was there not a chance for God to not bring all that eternal disaster? The passage that had been stinging me the hardest was Romans 5:8 and others like it concerning Adam and Christ. When I started agreeing in my heart that this could be true for real, I got so excited, I started doing a dance. Then I found this site. After that, a billion more questions came flooding in that made me rethink my confidence...but at the same time i feel like I could never go back. Anyway, very glad to be here and thankful for all the willing hearts here talking these things out.

[rosered]

   welcome ofelia ,
loved your  post !
  and agree  the God is  Love and  we are here to glorify His  Holy Name

  the purpose of the good news and those  found  in faith who believe this

  and  and  sow the seeds of faith as the Lord  asks   :HeartThrob:

[WhiteWings]

I got so excited, I started doing a dance.

You got that on video? :laughing7:
:bgdance:  :bgdance: :bgdance: :bgdance: :bgdance: :bgdance:
I'm glad you found your way to this forum :thumbsup:
I also hope you found your way to this library of info:
http://www.tentmaker.org/ScholarsCorner.html
http://www.tentmaker.org/

:welcome: :newb: :reachout:

[legoman]

hi all.
Been reading threads around here for a couple weeks now. 1 1/2 feet in. maybe 2, it's a lot to take in. This is how I wound up here. The HS opened my eyes about five years ago to this truth...before I knew much of the traditions of men, never read bible much, etc. Starting getting very involved in a baptist-calvinist community very shortly after. Immediately felt the bondage but couldn't identify it. Read everything I could get my hands on. John Piper, Matt Chandler, Mark Driscoll, all very big influences in my walk. Love my community as well. Always have been a bit hesitant about all the doctrines many people seemed so comfortable with. I referred to it as 'the tension.' <---- all the things that never fell into place in my heart and which I could not agree with, ie strict calvinism, strict arminianism, ET, difficulty sharing Jesus, I totally retreated into myself because I felt selfish and strange about being saved in the company of people I love who didn't believe the things I believed yet unable to share the good news...because there was something awry...my heart was not free. I always understood ET like this....God does all things in love, but the purpose in all He does is to Glorify His name, it is not about us, it is about His glory and if this is how he gets His glory then we are being presumptuous in questioning the unfathomable mysteries of God's ways. He is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him (JP--like this and believe this but...). Also, we each are fully convinced of our decision to love Him or reject Him, we are each fully guilty and fully deserving of whatever punishment God deems necessary, and our contention should not be O, God why have you not saved all, but rather, thank you God that in Your mercy you have chosen to save some. I assented to these things mentally, but they never all clicked holistically. I just always took this as me being finite and still having much sin in me that I could not fathom the truths of God.

Sorry, I am going into more detail then I intended. I will cut it short -- About a month ago I was like you know what, even if it makes me a heretic I am going to pray that God save the entire world, I am just going to pray for that because that's my deepest desire anyway (thank you, HS); besides didn't Moses ask God to relent and didn't God not bring the disaster he initially pronounced on Ninevah, etc. It made sense in that moment that if the end had not yet come, was there not a chance for God to not bring all that eternal disaster? The passage that had been stinging me the hardest was Romans 5:8 and others like it concerning Adam and Christ. When I started agreeing in my heart that this could be true for real, I got so excited, I started doing a dance. Then I found this site. After that, a billion more questions came flooding in that made me rethink my confidence...but at the same time i feel like I could never go back. Anyway, very glad to be here and thankful for all the willing hearts here talking these things out.

Nice testimony.  Welcome!

[Cardinal]

 :cloud9:  :welcome: :newb:

[jabcat]

Like your testimony.   :thumbsup:   Welcome, God bless.

[Novus-Ordo-Seclorum7]

 :icon_flower:

Been there, keep on Thinking

[richardinparadise]

Welcome! I'm also new to this board. Most of us here have stories to tell like yours. You are among friends!!! :bgdance:

[eaglesway]

"Behold, I make all things new".

Nice to have a new friend. Grace and peace to you, John