Man, That's Silly!

[Raggedy Anne]

GOOD posts guys.  I've actually heard this one:  "only those that will be in hell are those that want/prefer to be there"  :mshock:

I've heard that one a ba-zillion times.  It is so lame!  Yeah, people are actually in hell because they like it hot  :dontknow:  No worry!

[jabcat]

This thread is funny!  Wish I had the nerve to send it to me ET relatives.   But life in this world is easier for me if I don't mention God saving everyone - they just can't believe it at this time.

My grandmother used to tell us little bitty kids as we sat in front of red-hot coals in a fireplace that THAT was what hell really is like and there are people in the fire who will never get out.  It terrified me.  Screwed me up for a long time!

I'm glad you're enjoying the thread, but that's not silly.  Man, that's sad.  I'm sure your grandma was trying to help and saying what she really believed...but isn't that horrid?  :pitiful:

I don't know.  For all those years I thought I believe in ET, I don't really ever remember warning or talking much to my kids about it.  Thanks be to God that even when I "believed" it,  I must not have believed it that much.   :bowing:  Thank you God.

[Paul Hazelwood]

Well another one is


God is too much of a gentleman to make us do anything we do not want to do.

But he will send me to hell even if I do not want to go

[sparrow]

There is a church I drive by on the way to work, they always have odd sayings on their marquee out front. I drove by yesterday it said "Read the Bible. It will scare the HELL out of you!"


:dontknow:

[jabcat]

There is a church I drive by on the way to work, they always have odd sayings on their marquee out front. I drove by yesterday it said "Read the Bible. It will scare the HELL out of you!"


:dontknow:

:laugh2:  :mblush:

[jabcat]

Funny Paul.  Won't force you to be saved, but will force you into hell. 

Speaking of a marquee..."don't drive faster than your guardian angel can fly". 

Or this one;  "Tithe if you love Jesus. Anyone can honk."

[Raggedy Anne]

Well another one is

God is too much of a gentleman to make us do anything we do not want to do.

But he will send me to hell even if I do not want to go

There are so many!  I've heard that one too.  I think ETers spend a lot of time trying to separate God from people's destiny (if they think their destiny is hell).  Beware of anything you would not tell a child.   

And Jabcat, yes it is sad how much fear I had growing up.  And there are still plenty of children who are subjected to the same fears (a lot in Fundamentalist and Catholic circles and probably a lot of that preached in Islam as well).   I do believe that our calling is to set those captives free, as many as we can.  I don't know exactly why I was so vulnerable to believe everything I was told.  I had a lot of fear in my childhood for various reasons.

[jabcat]

Anne, sensitive, tender hearts are greatly affected.  But then they are the ones who care enough to do something about it later on.   :HeartThrob:

Jumping subjects, oh man, I got'ta tell ya'll about my old Aunt Ida ("Aint Idey" as we called her out in the cotton country of Southeast Missouri).

She was blinded as a little child when her mom dropped lye into her eyes, I suppose while making soap.  She had an interesting life, which I won't go into detail about.  Anyway, she was really funny.  She said some of the darnedest things.  I grew up in little country Pentecostal churches, and it was a tradition to have "Testimony Services".  We'd take turns standing up and talking about different things, supposedly the good things God had done and was doing in our lives.

Sometimes when Aint Idey was testifying, you weren't really sure where she was going to go with it - often she'd sort of tell stories, saying something funny in the midst of her testimonies and let out a little giggle ("that's what makes the cheeze binding" is one I remember).  Anyway, this one particular cold winter night she was talking about some things in her testimony and got around to the weather.  She announced to one and all "it's so cold out there, a little hell would feel pretty good tonight".

She was a sweet, interesting old lady, and that's the only time I ever remember her mentioning hell.  Not bad.  :thumbsup:

[firstborn888]

On the 25th anniversary of John Lennon's death one church down the road put up on their marquee "Imagine Fire and Brimstone"   :mshock:

[Average_Bear]

Shortly after we sang "My God can do anything, anything, etc." The pastor said, "If you go off into eternity without Christ there is NOTHING God can do about it."  :dontknow:

On another occassion, the pastor read one of my favorite verses in Romans 8 where is says there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God, and then totally contradicted it: "There is something that can separate you from the love of God - your free will can separate you from his love" Seriously, he really said that.  :dontknow:

[aspiring son]

On the 25th anniversary of John Lennon's death one church down the road put up on their marquee "Imagine Fire and Brimstone"   :mshock:

A church near us recently had on their marquee" Stop, drop and roll won't work in hell"



I guess that's suppose to draw in the crowds.............. :dunno:

[sparrow]

There is a church I drive by on the way to work, they always have odd sayings on their marquee out front. I drove by yesterday it said "Read the Bible. It will scare the HELL out of you!"


:dontknow:

Ok, I just saw the other side of the sign today. The other side says
"Here's the church, Here's the Steeple.
Open the doors. Where are all you people?"

I'm thinking uh.... read the other side of the sign. That MIGHT be a clue.  :mshock:

[Paul Hazelwood]

On the 25th anniversary of John Lennon's death one church down the road put up on their marquee "Imagine Fire and Brimstone"   :mshock:

A church near us recently had on their marquee" Stop, drop and roll won't work in hell"



I guess that's suppose to draw in the crowds.............. :dunno:

Bill Weise Bill Weise he's our man

If He can't get out no one can.

[jabcat]

On the 25th anniversary of John Lennon's death one church down the road put up on their marquee "Imagine Fire and Brimstone"   :mshock:

A church near us recently had on their marquee" Stop, drop and roll won't work in hell"



I guess that's suppose to draw in the crowds.............. :dunno:

Bill Weise Bill Weise he's our man

If He can't get out no one can.

LOL  :LH:

[WhiteWings]

GOOD posts guys.  I've actually heard this one:  "only those that will be in hell are those that want/prefer to be there"  :mshock:

They have a hell of a time. So why leave?  :laughing7:

[WhiteWings]

GOOD posts guys.  I've actually heard this one:  "only those that will be in hell are those that want/prefer to be there"  :mshock:

I think the same article states they even have locked the gates/doors of hell from the inside.
Even Jesus seems to like it in hell.

Revelation 1:18  I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.

[Seth]

Our recent convos with CoG37 have given mucho material. One that comes to mind is the reasoning that 1 Timothy 4:10 should not be translated: "who is the savior of all men especially those who believe" but rather "he is the the savior of all men, that is those who believe." Basically blatantly mistranslating upon the reasoning of this statement: "we didn't feel that using the adverb "especially" suited the context of μάλιστα especially well (uh, pardon the pun...). So we used "that is" instead."

That one really floored me.

[WhiteWings]

1] God only saves who believe.
2] Only those who are drawn by God can believe.
3] Believing means getting saved. So God can't draw people because He would break rule #1

So basicly God saves by making people believe but He doesn't because they don't believe :laughing7:

John 6:44  No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.

Unless you assume 'come to me' is about things like crucifixion then are making Jesus a liar when saying "I started to believe." Should be "I was made believing."

[Seth]

 :laughing7:

That makes my head hurt.

[Cardinal]

 :cloud9: Good point, WW....... :thumbsup: Blessings....

[Kimberlaina]

I'm shocked that no one has mentioned the alternative to the "brainwashing" theory -- that someday when we are in Heaven, we will enjoy watching our loved ones roast and toast in hell.  (Note that this is the subject of the newest article on the home page -- some very disturbing quotes there.)

I remember a pastor once saying something like, "If you don't like church, you probably won't like heaven."

Another silly idea -- that we are saved from hell.  The Bible clearly says we are saved from sin & death.  :sigh:

And the idea that we "go to heaven" and sing in a church choir endlessly - or morph into angels.  :gangel:

[WhiteWings]

I'm shocked that no one has mentioned the alternative to the "brainwashing" theory -- that someday when we are in Heaven, we will enjoy watching our loved ones roast and toast in hell. 

I think you should stop posting in this thread.
Sound logic is not allowed in threads concerning ETism  :HeartThrob:

[martincisneros]

I'm shocked that no one has mentioned the alternative to the "brainwashing" theory -- that someday when we are in Heaven, we will enjoy watching our loved ones roast and toast in hell.  (Note that this is the subject of the newest article on the home page -- some very disturbing quotes there.)

It'll be fun!  It'll smell just like chicken!!

I remember a pastor once saying something like, "If you don't like church, you probably won't like heaven."

Heard that one most of my life in Pentecostal Churches and usually what some of the ones that I would hear would mean would be an atmosphere where God is being praised all of the time, worshipped, thanked, et. al.  However, I have heard it taken to the extreme of a "our way or the highway" kinda implication that heaven is precisely like what we're like in this particular Church and follows the same schedule.

Another silly idea -- that we are saved from hell.  The Bible clearly says we are saved from sin & death.  :sigh:

Jesus Christ is our Saviour from anything we need saving from: spirit, soul, body, financially, and socially.

And the idea that we "go to heaven" and sing in a church choir endlessly - or morph into angels.  :gangel:

No longer sure on this one, since having grown wings in the spirit after a really prolonged fast with intercessory prayer.  The wings we mount up with in Isaiah 40, Malachi 4, Psalm 91, and other passages seem extremely literal to me now.  I feel 'em flapping any time I step into spiritual activity now.  Initially, only felt 'em while praying in other tongues a lot, as that's what grew them in with the prolonged fast at God's direction about another matter.  Lots of folks get weird about chakras and have no idea about all of this other good stuff in the Kingdom of God.  So, I'm unsure about whether or not we do morph into angels, since this is my very first summer being conscious of invisible wings.  Not always, but whenever I step into a lot of spiritual activity, really intense prayer, etc.

[Doc]

Our pastor regularly says things like; "salvation is nothing you do, or can accomplish but you must choose (or accept) Him". "Making a decision for Christ"....

He's got his theology half right, but his tradition keeps getting in the way.  :sigh:

[Cardinal]

 :cloud9: And as 'crazy' as that sounds, Martin, I experienced the same shocking revelation when He sent me to minister in OK several years ago, as I was worshiping Him in private and felt wings unfold and go forward quickly over me to cover me, as I bowed prostrate to Him. Think of wings going forward over the cherubim on the ark of the covenant, and you get the picture. Blessings.....