Man, That's Silly!

[jabcat]

Almost everyone on here's probably heard, and even been taught some things - maybe even believed some of it; that now looking back on it you just want to say "man, that's silly"!

Here's a couple I've heard;

"Jesus talked more about hell than He did about heaven".   :Yeahright:

I just heard one this week in Wally World that I was SO tempted to go up to the two people and say "did you know Jesus is the Savior of the world"?  I didn't  :sigh:, but here's what I overheard.  Lady (carried away) witnessing to man looking like a deer caught in headlights, says "the Bible's true.  And I would lose my eternity for not doing what I'm told".  Man, that's silly!  (Poor guy.)

Another one;  as a little kid, singing in Sunday School "and if the Devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack (ouch!), sit on a tack (ouch!), sit on a tack (ouch!)....".  Cute, but again - silly!

OK, a couple more and you can chime in.

"I'm not so sure you don't have to confess Jesus as Lord a couple of times a month to stay saved"  :mshock:.

And one I remembered today that I used to say myself and actually "teach" others;  "we live in a fallen world.  Bad things happen (shrugging shoulders/shaking head)".  (The premise and background being that God's not in control/Satan rules because He tricked man against God's will [not realizing any measure of control the "Prince of the Air" may have, that God still has decreed it (Amos 3:6)];  things are messed up and God's just sort of hands off, letting things go their course - except He's trying to get a few people to do right and accept Him.  Don't we feel sorry for God?  Isn't He nice? He's trying to help us, if we'd just let Him.)   

Man, that's silly.  :punish:

God's blessings, James.

[jabcat]

Wow, I know I'm not the only one that's heard or believed silly stuff.  The point of my thread was to have a place to dump some of it in one place.  Anyone have any?

[sparrow]

God WANTS to save you, but you must choose him! (or else get thrown into literal flames forever.) He is SO good, that He doesn't FORCE your love, He lets you choose! How sweet!

ET'ers saying "cremation is a sin".  :mshock: Ohhhhhh.... so it's ok, to burn LIVE bodies FOREVER, but the momentary burning of a dead body is a no-no?

Your family members who are suffering in hell for all eternity, you can still be happy in heaven because God will delete all of your files on that person out of your mind! Woo hoo!!! No memory! Ignorance is BLISS!  :bgdance:

[NinjaWizards777]

Your family members who are suffering in hell for all eternity, you can still be happy in heaven because God will delete all of your files on that person out of your mind! Woo hoo!!! No memory! Ignorance is BLISS!  :bgdance:

I heard this from a calvinist a few weeks back, no joke, was the first time I think Ive ever heard that. And I was like  :mshock: How do you find comfort in that, let alone Gods character if you think thats what he does?


Anyway, I think some of my pet peeve ones, besides the one mentioned are

"DO YOU THINK YOURE SMARTER THAN GOD? DONT QUESTION GOD!"


"Oh I dont know, but Gods ways are just higher than ours (so please let me stick my head back in the sand)"


"God is love, BUT he just cant stand to look on sin. and if you die and havent accepted jesus, well God loses his patience top and throws you away forever! The End! Hallelujah!"

or another one is

"God is love, but he is also just and holy" (and that therefore means he has to literally burn someone for all eternity for not getting the right beliefs before they die...makes sense)


"finite sins against an infinite God deserves infinite punishment" (still not seeing where the logic of this comes from lol)

[aspiring son]

Your family members who are suffering in hell for all eternity, you can still be happy in heaven because God will delete all of your files on that person out of your mind! Woo hoo!!! No memory! Ignorance is BLISS!  :bgdance:

I heard this from a calvinist a few weeks back, no joke, was the first time I think Ive ever heard that. And I was like  :mshock: How do you find comfort in that, let alone Gods character if you think thats what he does?


Anyway, I think some of my pet peeve ones, besides the one mentioned are

"DO YOU THINK YOURE SMARTER THAN GOD? DONT QUESTION GOD!"


"Oh I dont know, but Gods ways are just higher than ours (so please let me stick my head back in the sand)"


"God is love, BUT he just cant stand to look on sin. and if you die and havent accepted jesus, well God loses his patience top and throws you away forever! The End! Hallelujah!"

or another one is

"God is love, but he is also just and holy" (and that therefore means he has to literally burn someone for all eternity for not getting the right beliefs before they die...makes sense)


"finite sins against an infinite God deserves infinite punishment" (still not seeing where the logic of this comes from lol)

If you try to find logic in that last one Ninja, you'll hurt yourself.

one for me is being taught that God looks like a grandfather, sitting up above the clouds on his throne. Now no church ever says he "looks" like an old man, but that's how he's been portrayed in every denomination I can think of. And heaven being above the clouds, where Jesus is preparing literal mansions. I'll take a five bedroom with a den.

Brandon

[WhiteWings]

Bible version:
Psalm 30:5  For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

ET version:
Psalm 30:5  For his love endureth but a moment; in his favour is death: love may endure for a night, but punishment cometh in the morning.

[fire walker]

James,

Yes, well I've heard plenty of silly Religious sayings over the years one of them I am posting here:

1.  "The road to hell is paved wih good intentions"  now man that is silly!


Peace,
Fire Walker

[WhiteWings]

FW,

The road to Heaven has the same pavement. :Chinscratch:
Ergo: Same road  :declare:

[firstborn888]

Your family members who are suffering in hell for all eternity, you can still be happy in heaven because God will delete all of your files on that person out of your mind! Woo hoo!!! No memory! Ignorance is BLISS! 

This (the memory wipe theory) came up a couple of years ago on a discussion forum and my bright young daughter posted back for me something like this: "So let me get this straight. Say... an impoverished Hindu lady from an all Hindu community in India happens upon a TBN broadcast in town while taking her chickens to market and hears Benny Hinn giving an alter call for salvation and responds, but no one else in the small community converts. So in heaven - all she will remember is her chickens and Benny Hinn ?" 

After a couple of minutes back came the post: "Well...  she will remember the chickens"

:mshock:
:laughing7:

[WhiteWings]

Half of the Bible is about evil people.
But noone that lived in those times (Moses, Noach, Abraham, etc) can even remember a single sinner.
Jesus came to teach against sin that didn't exist.
I guess they have a pocket edition Bible in Heaven :-)

[Seth]

Almost everyone on here's probably heard, and even been taught some things - maybe even believed some of it; that now looking back on it you just want to say "man, that's silly"!

Here's a couple I've heard;

"Jesus talked more about hell than He did about heaven".   :Yeahright:

I just heard one this week in Wally World that I was SO tempted to go up to the two people and say "did you know Jesus is the Savior of the world"?  I didn't  :sigh:, but here's what I overheard.  Lady (carried away) witnessing to man looking like a deer caught in headlights, says "the Bible's true.  And I would lose my eternity for not doing what I'm told".  Man, that's silly!  (Poor guy.)

Another one;  as a little kid, singing in Sunday School "and if the Devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack (ouch!), sit on a tack (ouch!), sit on a tack (ouch!)....".  Cute, but again - silly!

OK, a couple more and you can chime in.

"I'm not so sure you don't have to confess Jesus as Lord a couple of times a month to stay saved"  :mshock:.

And one I remembered today that I used to say myself and actually "teach" others;  "we live in a fallen world.  Bad things happen (shrugging shoulders/shaking head)".  (The premise and background being that God's not in control/Satan rules because He tricked man against God's will [not realizing any measure of control the "Prince of the Air" may have, that God still has decreed it (Amos 3:6)];  things are messed up and God's just sort of hands off, letting things go their course - except He's trying to get a few people to do right and accept Him.  Don't we feel sorry for God?  Isn't He nice? He's trying to help us, if we'd just let Him.)   

Man, that's silly.  :punish:

God's blessings, James.

These are great. Some things I heard: "God cannot get what He wants." That was a comment made to me by someone who was appointed by my preacher to debate me on my belief in UR. That was right after he said that whatever God's plan is, He can do it.

"If everyone will be saved, then why did Jesus have to die on the cross?"
"If everyone will be saved, then I can live how I want and it won't matter anyway, right?"
"God does not send people to hell; people choose to go there."

[Cardinal]

Your family members who are suffering in hell for all eternity, you can still be happy in heaven because God will delete all of your files on that person out of your mind! Woo hoo!!! No memory! Ignorance is BLISS! 

This (the memory wipe theory) came up a couple of years ago on a discussion forum and my bright young daughter posted back for me something like this: "So let me get this straight. Say... an impoverished Hindu lady from an all Hindu community in India happens upon a TBN broadcast in town while taking her chickens to market and hears Benny Hinn giving an alter call for salvation and responds, but no one else in the small community converts. So in heaven - all she will remember is her chickens and Benny Hinn ?" 

After a couple of minutes back came the post: "Well...  she will remember the chickens"

:mshock:
:laughing7:

:cloud9: ROFLOL............good one..........no one has mentioned my personal "favorite" yet.........."flying away"..........Got stoned so much over that one the first 3 years of my walk, I was about to save time by just handing everyone a rock, before I even opened my mouth, lol.........Blessings.....

[Paul Hazelwood]

I think I got a good one.


Lady standing before the church I last attended before calling it quits was trying to inspire people to tithe.

She said in so many words that we have  "Tithers Rights" so when we tithe we can demand that God work for us.

Yeah, now that's just silly.


Tithers Rights,  this same lady doesn't like entitlement programs,  now that's just silly.

[Tim B]

Well, there's the whole idea that an all loving God will allow people to be eternally tormented in Hell forever. Sure, I believed it at one point, but looking back it's easy to see how stupid it was.

Plus, if you add into the above mix the idea that this all loving God is ALSO all powerful, but still won't save certain people (even though he really wants to), you get this: ULTRA silly!!

Same can be said about annihilation, but of course regular ET is infinitely worse in its cruelty.

And, I have to agree with some of those already listed: that God will just erase the memory of the damned; that God doesn't choose Hell, people do. OH! and, this has to be one of the more stupid I've heard: the reason behind Hell is that people reject God's perfect son and so the only just way to be punished for such a sin is infinite punishment.

Silly stuff in all these areas. xP Too bad people actually believe them...

[Paul Hazelwood]

A minister (hmmm) once said   "35,000 people a day are pouring into hell because Christians have no told them about Jesus, but my ministry will start to counter this problem, but I need money in order to accomplish it."


Certainly...  Let me sell my ocean front property in Las Vegas and I'll send you some.

[Tim B]

A minister (hmmm) once said   "35,000 people a day are pouring into hell because Christians have no told them about Jesus, but my ministry will start to counter this problem, but I need money in order to accomplish it."


Certainly...  Let me sell my ocean front property in Las Vegas and I'll send you some.

Ugh. It's statistics like this that show how ridiculous ET really is! 35,000 people a day getting thrown into eternal damnation? The idea is unfathomable and infinitely cruel.

And yes: what this pastor said is obviously silly, but for me, it goes a little beyond that.

[sparrow]

A minister (hmmm) once said   "35,000 people a day are pouring into hell because Christians have no told them about Jesus, but my ministry will start to counter this problem, but I need money in order to accomplish it."


Certainly...  Let me sell my ocean front property in Las Vegas and I'll send you some.

Well, I think his statistics are about right.
I think there ARE about 35,000 people born on earth every day.

:msealed:  :mblush:
(did I say that out loud?)

[NinjaWizards777]

some I heard debating with that dad and the pastor the other day:

"God predestines who will be saved and who will not....but they still have a choice!" (talk about contradiction :laughing7: )

"Every knee will bow...but then for some reason its too late and God will throw them into Hell"

[reFORMer]

Since Jesus, the Scripture never speaks of anyone but Jesus having disciples. Still, in sharing at simplechurch.org with some fellow into "discipling" who lives in Israel, we went over the various incidents of Scripture where it might be assumed ceaseless torture for ever was taught.  He eventually realized that upon inspection none of the passages said anything like that directly and that he couldn't repeat any other words of Scripture to that effect.  His response at that point was that God ran out of room in the Bible.  There were so many words in the Bible that God had to limit them so as to not go over into too many words.  Eternal torture for most people was true, but there just wasn't enough space left to say everything He wanted us to believe.

I don't think I could even make this kind of stuff up if I tried.

[jabcat]

GOOD posts guys.  I've actually heard this one:  "only those that will be in hell are those that want/prefer to be there"  :mshock:

[firstborn888]

A minister (hmmm) once said   "35,000 people a day are pouring into hell

Well, I think his statistics are about right.
I think there ARE about 35,000 people born on earth every day.

:msealed:  :mblush:
(did I say that out loud?)

Yikes! You're right sparrow, I think the minister got that one pretty close...

[Andromeda_Organa]

someone told me that women automatically go to Hell.

[aspiring son]

someone told me that women automatically go to Hell.

That's a new one

[Cardinal]

someone told me that women automatically go to Hell.

:cloud9: Bet it was a man.   :mrflo: "The woman You gave me........"

[Raggedy Anne]

This thread is funny!  Wish I had the nerve to send it to me ET relatives.   But life in this world is easier for me if I don't mention God saving everyone - they just can't believe it at this time.

My grandmother used to tell us little bitty kids as we sat in front of red-hot coals in a fireplace that THAT was what hell really is like and there are people in the fire who will never get out.  It terrified me.  Screwed me up for a long time!