Funny things Kids say?

[Taffy]

Having  4 children  of our own...Kids SURE do say the funniest of things..one just has to giggle sometimes....


The following statements about the Bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., bad spelling has been left in.)

In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark because Noah built the ark, which the animals came to in pears.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

Samson slew the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.

Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to find the ten commendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

Then the three Wise Guys from the east arrived and found Jesus in the manager.


St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

.

He also explained that "Man does not live by sweat alone".



The people who followed Jesus were called the 12 decibles.

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached the holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

Taffy

[hopeful]

Monotony...   :laugh2:

[Cardinal]

 :HeartThrob: Loved it........ :happygrin:

[Craig]

Monotony

1706, originally in transf. sense of "wearisome, tiresome," from Fr. monotonie, from Gk. monotonia, from monotonos "monotonous, of one tone," from monos "single, alone" + tonos "tone" (see tenet). Literal sense of "sameness of tone or pitch" is from 1724. Monotone "an unvarying tone in music or speaking" is first attested 1644; monotonous is first recorded 1778; transf. sense of "lacking in variety, uninteresting" is from 1791.

Irony.

[hopeful]

I just want to say that as someone who has had the same spouse for 28 years, it is not monotonous!   :dsunny:

[Taffy]

I just want to say that as someone who has had the same spouse for 28 years, it is not monotonous!   :dsunny:

mine for 20    :icon_flower:   ...and to that I concur. :icon_flower:

Blessings
Taffy