Breath of Fresh Air!

[Woodchuck]

I was 14 years in a strict religion. Left it 23 years ago and have been searching since for an understanding of God that made sense. I like what I've seen thusfar and look forward to reading the posts and participating as I can here.

Thanks!

Ken

[jabcat]

For it was the Father's good pleasure for all the fullness to dwell in Him,

and through Him to reconcile all things to Himself, having made peace through the blood of His cross; through Him, I say, whether things on earth or things in heaven.  Colossians 1:19,20

Welcome here!

[sparrow]

Welcome Ken!  :icon_flower:

[Cardinal]

 :cloud9: Welcome.....

[Redlettervoice]

Hello and welcome, Woodchuck.

[Raggedy Anne]

Welcome, Ken.   God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself.  If God be for us, who can be against us?!  Easter blessings to you! 

Anne

_____________________
My Blog: http://www.annebryant-hamon.blogspot.com

[WhiteWings]

Hi Woodchuck. Enjoy!

[Cardinal]

 :cloud9: Ok, ok, you knew it was coming, I can't restrain myself anymore  :mshock:
How much wood does a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood?  :dontknow:
:grin: :girlheart:

[Woodchuck]

:cloud9: Ok, ok, you knew it was coming, I can't restrain myself anymore  :mshock:
How much wood does a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood?  :dontknow:
:grin: :girlheart:

Typically about 4 Chords per day ;)

[WhiteWings]

:cloud9: Ok, ok, you knew it was coming, I can't restrain myself anymore  :mshock:
How much wood does a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood?  :dontknow:
:grin: :girlheart:

Easy! A concise explanation:

The amount of wood that woodchucks would chuck on a given day varies greatly with the individual woodchuck. According to a Wall Street Journal article, New York State wildlife expert Richard Thomas found that a woodchuck could chuck around 35 cubic feet of dirt in the course of digging a burrow. Thomas reasoned that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would chuck an amount equal to 700 pounds.

Some say it depends on three factors:


The woodchuck's desire to chuck said wood.

The woodchuck's need to chuck the aforementioned wood.

The woodchuck's ability to chuck the wood.
Others say:


He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

If he could chuck wood, the woodchuck would chuck as much as he could!

A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

A woodchuck would chuck all the wood that the woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

If a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would and should chuck wood. But if woodchucks can't chuck wood, they shouldn't and wouldn't chuck wood. Though were I a woodchuck, and I chucked wood, I would chuck wood with the best woodchucks that chucked wood.

If a woodchuck could chuck wood, then s/he'd chuck all the wood, s/he'd chuck and chuck and chuck and chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

It would chuck the amount of wood that she sells seashells on the seashore divided by how many pickles Peter Piper picks.

One quarter of a sycamore if you give him a quarter for every quarter of the sycamore he cut.

It might depend on how many female woodchucks were present. Or, it could depend on whether the woodchuck's mother-in-law was around or not. If she was, he'd be chucking all day. If not, he'd be watching the football game.

Some maintain that woodchucks could not and would not chuck wood at all.

It depends on how good his dentures are!

A woodchuck, would chuck, as much wood, as a woodchuck, could chuck, If a woodchuck could chuck wood. But unfortunately, woodchucks do not chuck wood.

About 5.72 fluid litres of wood

About as many boards as the Mongol hoards would hoard if the Mongol hordes did hoard boards.

Um....... 23????



Tons. More than you can count. Honestly. No one can chuck more would than a woodchuck.

If the woodchucks name was Maurice, then it could chuck all the wood that it wants to. However, if its name is Frank, no chucking would be for it.

Due to the average size of a wood chuck and the general density of wood (not including cork) if a wood chuck could chuck wood it would probably get through about 6.573 pounds per day, assuming the wood chuck is functioning correctly.

Using the formula: (W + I) * C where W = the constant of wood, which is well known to be 61, as agreed in many scientific circles. I = the variable in this equation, and stands for the word "if" from the original problem. As there are three circumstances, with 0 equaling the chance that the woodchuck cannot chuck wood, 1 being the theory that the woodchuck can chuck wood but chooses not to, and 2 standing for the probability that the woodchuck can and will chuck wood, we clearly must choose 2 for use in this equation. C = the constant of Chuck Norris, whose presence in any problem involving the word chuck must there, is well known to equal 1.1 of any known being, therefore the final part of this calculation is 1.1. As is clear, this appears to give the answer of (61 + 2) * 1.1 = (63) * 1.1 = 69.3. However, Chuck Norris' awesome roundhouse kick declares that all decimal points cannot be used in formulas such as this, and so it must be rounded to the final solution of 69 units of wood.
How Chuck Norris got involved

A woodchuck would only chuck as much would as Chuck Norris would allow it to, because the woodchuck shares Chuck's name. Therefore, Chuck must punish it and make it chuck as much wood as Chuck can. So, a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as Chuck could.

None cuz a wood chuck cant chuck wood! :P

Approximately 3.9675 pounds every 5.6843 seconds. So there.

2.865 lbs every 11.3686 Seconds?

About 15 pounds a minute.

i speak differently i say WHAT DOES YOUR QUESTION HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING! and btw its 84% lol

it depends how good his dentures are!!!

As much as he needed to be satisfied

But the true jokey answer, as told by my grandfather is: As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

a woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood

[Woodchuck]

Oh thank you! That will be my pat answer from now on. LOL!

Ken

[martincisneros]

 :coffee2: Whad he say?? :umnick:

[Cardinal]

 :cloud9: roflol..... :laughing7: :thumbsup:

[CHB]

Notice: IF is the key word here.

How much wood does a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? 

I welcome the Woodchuck.  :laughing7:

CHB

[Woodchuck]

Maybe I'll change my handle to "Groundhog" ;)

[WhiteWings]

Maybe I'll change my handle to "Groundhog" ;)

Would be best because we need a defender of the Word :laughing7:
(http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii276/jillinnm/groundhog.jpg)

[Woodchuck]

Ohhhh, that is cool!

[martincisneros]

(http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii276/jillinnm/groundhog.jpg)

That is sooo adoreable!

[Cardinal]

 :cloud9: Loved it WW.....and as you can see Woodchuck, we're a fun loving bunch around here..... :laughing7:  :grin: Blessings....

[aspiring son]

(http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii276/jillinnm/groundhog.jpg)

That is sooo adoreable!

Looks may be deceiving with that guy

[Doc]

:cloud9: Ok, ok, you knew it was coming, I can't restrain myself anymore  :mshock:
How much wood does a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood?  :dontknow:
:grin: :girlheart:

Easy! A concise explanation:

The amount of wood that woodchucks would chuck on a given day varies greatly with the individual woodchuck. According to a Wall Street Journal article, New York State wildlife expert Richard Thomas found that a woodchuck could chuck around 35 cubic feet of dirt in the course of digging a burrow. Thomas reasoned that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would chuck an amount equal to 700 pounds.

Some say it depends on three factors:


The woodchuck's desire to chuck said wood.

The woodchuck's need to chuck the aforementioned wood.

The woodchuck's ability to chuck the wood.
Others say:


He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

If he could chuck wood, the woodchuck would chuck as much as he could!

A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

A woodchuck would chuck all the wood that the woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

If a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would and should chuck wood. But if woodchucks can't chuck wood, they shouldn't and wouldn't chuck wood. Though were I a woodchuck, and I chucked wood, I would chuck wood with the best woodchucks that chucked wood.

If a woodchuck could chuck wood, then s/he'd chuck all the wood, s/he'd chuck and chuck and chuck and chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

It would chuck the amount of wood that she sells seashells on the seashore divided by how many pickles Peter Piper picks.

One quarter of a sycamore if you give him a quarter for every quarter of the sycamore he cut.

It might depend on how many female woodchucks were present. Or, it could depend on whether the woodchuck's mother-in-law was around or not. If she was, he'd be chucking all day. If not, he'd be watching the football game.

Some maintain that woodchucks could not and would not chuck wood at all.

It depends on how good his dentures are!

A woodchuck, would chuck, as much wood, as a woodchuck, could chuck, If a woodchuck could chuck wood. But unfortunately, woodchucks do not chuck wood.

About 5.72 fluid litres of wood

About as many boards as the Mongol hoards would hoard if the Mongol hordes did hoard boards.

Um....... 23????



Tons. More than you can count. Honestly. No one can chuck more would than a woodchuck.

If the woodchucks name was Maurice, then it could chuck all the wood that it wants to. However, if its name is Frank, no chucking would be for it.

Due to the average size of a wood chuck and the general density of wood (not including cork) if a wood chuck could chuck wood it would probably get through about 6.573 pounds per day, assuming the wood chuck is functioning correctly.

Using the formula: (W + I) * C where W = the constant of wood, which is well known to be 61, as agreed in many scientific circles. I = the variable in this equation, and stands for the word "if" from the original problem. As there are three circumstances, with 0 equaling the chance that the woodchuck cannot chuck wood, 1 being the theory that the woodchuck can chuck wood but chooses not to, and 2 standing for the probability that the woodchuck can and will chuck wood, we clearly must choose 2 for use in this equation. C = the constant of Chuck Norris, whose presence in any problem involving the word chuck must there, is well known to equal 1.1 of any known being, therefore the final part of this calculation is 1.1. As is clear, this appears to give the answer of (61 + 2) * 1.1 = (63) * 1.1 = 69.3. However, Chuck Norris' awesome roundhouse kick declares that all decimal points cannot be used in formulas such as this, and so it must be rounded to the final solution of 69 units of wood.
How Chuck Norris got involved

A woodchuck would only chuck as much would as Chuck Norris would allow it to, because the woodchuck shares Chuck's name. Therefore, Chuck must punish it and make it chuck as much wood as Chuck can. So, a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as Chuck could.

None cuz a wood chuck cant chuck wood! :P

Approximately 3.9675 pounds every 5.6843 seconds. So there.

2.865 lbs every 11.3686 Seconds?

About 15 pounds a minute.

i speak differently i say WHAT DOES YOUR QUESTION HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING! and btw its 84% lol

it depends how good his dentures are!!!

As much as he needed to be satisfied

But the true jokey answer, as told by my grandfather is: As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

a woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood

42, for you "Hitchhiker" fans.

[WhiteWings]

84 would be even better because a woodchuck likes redundancy so goes for double complete.

[Taffy]

A beleated Hi and Welcome WC :icon_flower:

:icon_flower:

[Woodchuck]

Thanks Taffy! I have definitely had a warm welcome from all. Very nice!

[chuckt]

ya know i find some of these posts offensive and drags up some very upsetting memories

chuckt




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