What is the biggest insult to God? Atheism of ETism?

[martincisneros]

What was on those vegan pizza's you ordered yesterday? Must have been those magic muchrooms if you are starting to think you are atheist.

I'm not starting to think that I'm an atheist.  I'm just saying that I've had the exact same emotional, intellectual, and intensity struggles as anybody else.  A really good book on the peculiar perils unique to ministry is a book by J. Oswald Sanders called "Spiritual Leadership."  I don't face as many or as intense a level of temptations as I used to face, but few Christians have never gone there mentally, either sporadically for moments or for an afternoon or a season of their lives.  Especially after my last few years...it's either been God or I'm totally bananas without any middle ground.  Especially after the last couple of years in particular.  I have very, very advanced synesthesia that I process the world with, and other things about me cause a natural inclination towards thinking in terms of a certain randomness to life and to the world when I'm not as conscious of God's Presence and Word at work in me.