a friend sent this to me LOL.....

[rosered]

"The Baptist Dog joke"

   A Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog. Ever mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must also be a Baptist. They visited kennel after kennel and explained their needs. Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he had just the dog they wanted.
The owner brought the dog to meet the pastor and his wife. 'Fetch the Bible,' he commanded. The dog bounded to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible and brought it to the owner.
'Now find Psalm 23,' he commanded. The dog dropped the Bible to the floor and showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed through and found the correct passage, then pointed to it with his paw. The pastor and his wife were very impressed and purchased the dog.
That evening, a group of church members came to visit. The pastor and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate several Bible verses. The visitors were very impressed. One man asked, 'Can he do regular dog tricks, too?'
'I haven't tried yet,' the pastor replied. He pointed his finger at the dog. 'HEEL!' the pastor commanded. The dog immediately jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's forehead and began to howl.
The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said, 'Good grief! He's Pentecostal!'

Author Unknown

[WhiteWings]

 :laughing7: bad baaaaad doggy :thumbsup:


Another doggy joke:

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightend. Frantically,he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
He asked the parrot, "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"
"Yes", said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then asked the parrot, "What's your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a dumb name for a parrot", sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"
The parrot replied, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus."

[WhiteWings]

An older, tired-looking Dalmatian dog wandered into my yard the other day.  I could tell from his collar, veterinarian tags and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. 

He calmly came over to me wagging his tail. I gave him a few pats on his head.  He then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up on my leather couch and fell asleep. 

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. 

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot on the couch and again slept for about 2 hours. This continued off and on for several weeks. 

Curious, one day I pinned a note to his collar reading: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.' 

The next day the dog arrived again for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep.  Can I come with him tomorrow?'

[rosered]

.  Those were good ones bro !! :first: :2thumbs:

   now this one is  a duh? ok ..lol... hummmm

  Beware of the Dog

Upon entering a small country store, a stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside a harmless old hound dog was asleep on the floor besides the cash register.

He asked the store manager, "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"

"Yep, that's him," he replied.

The amused stranger inquired, "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"

The owner responded, "Because, before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."

[WhiteWings]

A Dog For Jesus


I wish someone had given Jesus a dog
As loyal and loving as mine
To sleep by His manger and gaze in His eyes
And adore Him for being divine.


As our Lord grew to manhood His faithful dog
Would have followed Him all through the day
While He preached to the crowds and made the sick well
And knelt in the garden to pray.
It is sad to remember that Christ went away
To face death alone and apart
With no tender dog following close behind
To comfort its Master's Heart.
And when Jesus rose on that Easter morn
How happy He would have been
As His dog kissed His hands and barked its delight
For The One who died for all men.


Well, the Lord has a dog now, I just sent Him mine
The old pal so dear to me
And I smile through my tears on this first day alone
Knowing they're in eternity.
Day after day, the whole day through
Wherever my road inclined
Four feet said, "I am coming with you!"
And trotted along behind.


http://www.mamarocks.com/a_dog_for_jesus.htm

[rosered]

 

  Ya know Tony , i found a really cute doggy joke , but its too  plain spoken to put here lol ..  its so funny my kids and i laughed a hardy chuckle  at it ...  i might pm it to ya .....ha ha !
  in the mean time  here is a dog that walks on water  :mshock: ...

Amazing Dog

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.

He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. The friend saw everything but did not say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded his friend. "He can't swim. har har  har  ehhh !

[WhiteWings]

(http://ablessingfromgod.com/images/jerichomicket250.gif)

You've heard the story of The Master and the woman at the well
He was more than just a prophet when you met him you could tell
You've heard how at the wedding he turned water into wine
Here's a story never told although I meant to at the time

My name is John I'm the disciple who was always by his side
I was with him on the mountain and I watched him as he died
Took his mother Mary's hand and said we'd better go
Looked up at him to say goodbye as he looked down at Jericho

Jericho was Jesus' little dog a mongrel that he'd found
Who was always right behind him as we went from town to town
I remember once in Galilee he said John when I go
To drink my father's bitter cup take care of Jericho

Chorus:

So many things that Jesus did were never written down
The world could not contain the books if every one were bound
You won't read it in John's gospel there's no chapter twenty-two
But just because you never heard it Doesn't mean it isn't true

Jericho looked at him on that cross and wagged his little tail
Now the kind of love a dog has is a love that never fails
Kind of like the love of God no matter what you do
A dog looks through the outer shell and loves the inner you

The soldiers told the crowd it's late the sun is going down
Go celebrate your sabbath now you get on back to town
But Jericho just sat there looking up in Jesus' eyes
He knew that crown of thorns he wore was only a disguise

To Jericho his master was a king the center of his life
That dog's never gonna leave a soldier said and drew his knife
Don't hurt the dog a stranger cried you've done enough today
Then the stranger picked up Jericho and carried him away

Mary said she'd seen him at the tomb he waited by the stone
The gardener said I fed him 'cause he just won't go home
Next day Mary saw the stone was rolled away and she said oh
Where have they taken him and by the way where's Jericho

Repeat Chorus & out