Hello brothers and sisters in Christ!

[The0]

My name is Roger. I live in Las Vegas, or should I say "lost wages"?  :laughing7:

I found tentmaker.org via a search engine when I was looking for material on 'universal reconciliation'. I was appalled when I started reading my first articles on UR. I could not conceive that God would save every human being. And when I read one of Ray's articles (from bible-truths.com) that even Satan and his minions are going to be restored, I hit the wall! I knew Ray had to be certifiable! But I kept reading and going to my bible. Little by little, the light began to shine on my spirit and 'saw' the glorious news of the gospel! Praise God and his tender mercies for all His creation!

Having said that, I do have some issues in my life as a result of these newly revealed truths of the word of God, with which I am struggling. I guess we'll be communicating soon. May the Lord bless us all!

[WhiteWings]

I do have some issues in my life as a result of these newly revealed truths of the word of God, with which I am struggling. I guess we'll be communicating soon.

No need for that because you already fully understand UR

May the Lord bless us all!

:thumbsup:

Welcome Vegastarian  :laughing7:

[Paul Hazelwood]

Welcome Roger,  I fully understand that initial reaction.

I also found it curious that Universal salvation was not a new concept for me, I had known about it for years,  but took the word of churches and such that it was a lie.


But thinking about it at that point never drew any emotion from me over it.   I realize now what John 6:44 talks about.  Once God (not man or religion) drew me to something that was true, my old ways had to be burned out of me. 

He does a good job of it but for a time it can get really HOT     :laughing7:


Looking forward to your discussions.

[The0]

thank you for welcoming me.

one issue i have right now is that i don't have a place to congregate. all the christian churches here teach hell. i don't know what to do. i miss praising the Lord by singing and in the company of other believers, partaking in the Lord's supper, etc.

the pastor of the church where i used to congregate told me that i would never come to the knowledge of the truth cuz i question God so much. He said that hell is real and that, if i didn't repent, i would end up going to that place.

another thing that i must say so you can know where i am coming from is that, right about the time that i was beginning to learn about UR, i fell away from the faith big time. i am still shocked at how low i fell. if i told you everything, you might not want me as member of this board. i am infinitely ashamed and repentant of my actions.

so, one day i got to thinking that maybe cuz i began reading about UR, the devil was able to devour me. i really don't know. reality is that i destroyed the beautiful family i had, my marriage of 16 + years and much more. i am not the same anymore.

honestly, i am trying to get back in fellowship with God, but haven't been able to cuz i have not been able to forgive myself for what i did. i hate myself, i curse myself, i cry myself to sleep; oftentimes, in a drunken stupor. i can't shake it off! i truly don't know how. i am desperate. i am so stressed. i sinned against my precious Heavenly Father and wife and children. i am a detestable and ugly person--an animal, a beast.

oftentimes, i have thought about ending my life. i have thought about various ways of accomplishing this. in fact, i have all i need to do it but i have a beautiful four-year old baby girl, and her existence has postponed my plan. i know she would miss me terribly. i love her so very much, but my heart aches cuz neither her mother nor i spend enough time with her because of our separation (almost 4 years now). my baby is hungry for our love and attention. when i am with her, she can't seem to stop kissing me. she kisses my face, my arms, my hands, tells me she loves me, that she misses me; when i drop her off at her house, she asks me to stay with her but i can't, of course. my heart breaks in a million pieces. as a result, i condemn and curse myself even more, and i see with clarity that i am worthy of death.

although in my introduction i addressed you as 'brothers and sisters in Christ', i did not feel good about that greeting. i felt fake after i posted the message. for this, i apologize to all. please forgive me.

if anyone could help me with some advice, direction, scripture, self help, whatever, on how i can begin to forgive myself, i would greatly appreciate it. for i truly can't find my way back to my Heavenly Father. i miss seeking Him in prayer, telling Him that i love Him, that i need Him, to please forgive me and restore me and that my life has no meaning without Him. but i can't do it. this is the main reason i joined this board...to seek the help which i know i need desperately.

i can't find it anywhere. alcohol helps a little. although, it seems to worsen things many times cuz it makes me feel worse about myself. so, i drink more and more to the point of almost losing consciousness. it makes me want to destroy myself by drinking more.

i realize this board might not be the place to post stuff like this. if so, i can understand. but if you allow it, please throw some ray of hope my way. i will thank you for it.

[WhiteWings]

the pastor of the church where i used to congregate told me that i would never come to the knowledge of the truth cuz i question God so much. He said that hell is real and that, if i didn't repent, i would end up going to that place.

When following UR you should also repent. It's not a free ride. Still a bad time ahead for sinners.
Beside of that the Bible orders you to be critical:
Luke 12:57 So why don't you judge for yourselves what is right?
1 Thessalonians 5:21 but test all things. Hold on to what is good.
Corinthians 10:15 I speak as to wise men; you judge what I say.
Matthew 17:25 Jesus spoke to him first, saying, "What do you think, Simon? From whom do kings of the earth take tax? From their sons or from others?"

another thing that i must say so you can know where i am coming from is that, right about the time that i was beginning to learn about UR, i fell away from the faith big time. i am still shocked at how low i fell. if i told you everything, you might not want me as member of this board. i am infinitely ashamed and repentant of my actions.

Read my welcome message. I openly stated I'm largely an atheist. I'm still here....
IIRC somewhere in the boardrules is stated that all are welcome if they behave polite.

so, one day i got to thinking that maybe cuz i began reading about UR, the devil was able to devour me.

I think the devil got less grip on you. I was just you that needed to get used to the new 'enviorment'

These people draw near with their mouths and honor Me with their lips, but have removed their hearts far from Me, and their fear toward Me is taught by the commandment of men.(Is. 29:13)

honestly, i am trying to get back in fellowship with God, but haven't been able to cuz i have not been able to forgive myself for what i did. i hate myself, i curse myself, i cry myself to sleep; oftentimes, in a drunken stupor. i can't shake it off! i truly don't know how. i am desperate. i am so stressed. i sinned against my precious Heavenly Father and wife and children. i am a detestable and ugly person--an animal, a beast.

As half atheist I'm not the right one to comment on this. I'm sure someone else does.[/quote]
But you repent. Isn't that all that is needed?

[firstborn888]

Welcome theO,
   Daughters are GREAT for preventing suicide  :Sparkletooth: I can attest to that fact personally!
    Welcome to the tent and I am looking forward to hearing more you.

- Byron

[Akira Takahashi]

Hi there!  I was going to welcome you on the predestination thread, but I figured this would be more appropriate.

Firstly, I can empathize with your struggles.  I have had several bad crisises in life that have left me suicidal (even attempted once), but prayer and trust in God has pulled through for me each time.  When Satan starts to get a grip on people, he can inflict all sorts of different emotions that make us hateful towards ourselves and/or others.  Keep turning to the Word.

honestly, i am trying to get back in fellowship with God, but haven't been able to cuz i have not been able to forgive myself for what i did. i hate myself, i curse myself, i cry myself to sleep; oftentimes, in a drunken stupor. i can't shake it off! i truly don't know how. i am desperate. i am so stressed. i sinned against my precious Heavenly Father and wife and children. i am a detestable and ugly person--an animal, a beast.

I know how that is.  When Eric died, my first real crisis hit me.  I think Satan used to the opportunity to pull me away, and I began to really question God.  As much as I miss him, I know that during the short time that he was alive, I was sincerely blessed and he used his gift of life well.  I'll see him again.

As far as you being a detestable, beastlike person, well, who isn't?  Jer. 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked."  Don't forget that God also created the animals and beasts of the earth!  :winkgrin:

If you have truly repented, you may remove the shackles of your guilt.  You cannot make your life right if you live in the past.  Trust me, as a fellow suicidal Christian, I can tell you that this is easier said than done.  Til this day, my past mistakes rear their ugly heads and mock me.  I need to remind myself that God has forgiven all, and that my sinful record has been erased.

[The0]

Hi there!  I was going to welcome you on the predestination thread, but I figured this would be more appropriate.

Firstly, I can empathize with your struggles.  I have had several bad crisises in life that have left me suicidal (even attempted once), but prayer and trust in God has pulled through for me each time.  When Satan starts to get a grip on people, he can inflict all sorts of different emotions that make us hateful towards ourselves and/or others.  Keep turning to the Word.

Thank you for your encouraging words. The Lord is giving me strength, and I firmly believe that I will be OK because He will help me. He is and will be with me all the way. Though at times, I have felt that He has abandoned me. If only I would keep my eyes on Him and His word, I wouldn't feel He has abandoned me. His words are spirit and they do not pass; they remain unchangeable. He says "Lo, I am with you always."

I am sorry about your loss. Again, thank you for encouraging me. The Lord God bless you.

[rosered]

 


  Hi All , :HeartThrob: good morning ..........

  Hang in there  TheO  , I find its easy to ''give up'' and hard to hang in there ,    my walk and my talk     contradict  me all the time  :mshock:

  Its so much easier to ''Say than to Do'' ,, but One thing I cling to is the faithfulness of the Lord , I have to say this , over and over  again the Lord has proven  faithful  and that's what I put full stock in  ,  and not what I can or cannot do anylonger ,  that has helped  immensely
in my trials of faith .. 
   to me  to me pride has a new meaning its being self sufficent
  I found out I am  not self sufficent any more  I need  the Lords help in every way and in every minute of every day , 
  I cannot make it here on my own .. :( 
I have also been though the  whole give up on life  thing and whats the point ?   desire death and it flee from me  also,
   God, thats a miserable place , is it not ?

  I have a hope now  , that makes the shame of my past  flubbs  and even present ones , yeah, I still screw up , get mad  etc .

But stay in that state of grace , because I do talk to God  and am sorry for ungodly behavior

  so you hang in there you are not alone , we all are in this together
  all the good souls bros and sis's  are here  for ya .
   I have become more  verbal and bold as of late , was a lurker for about a year I reckin' ,  Read some really encouraging things here ! 

Thank God ,  because  my scattered thoughts were a MESS ..

  God bless ya and love ya too ...

[judy]

Oh dear brother, yes, you are my brother in Christ, and my heart goes out to you. When I was reading your testimony concerning your 4 year old daughter I knew that was God's supernatural love to you through your daughter. Children are naturally affectionate with their parents, but what you described is supernatural. Receive it in your heart and know that you are very much loved by your Father. You are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, so reckon yourself dead to sin and alive to God in Christ. When you get reminded of how awful you are, or have been, remind yourself of who you really are. Redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ, righteous in Him, loved by Him, healed in Him. For by grace are you saved and that not of yourself, it is the gift of God. Hallelujah! the Lord is good all the time.

NO weapon formed against you is going to prosper, every tongue that rises against you, you shall refute. This is the heritage of the sons of God. Refute the words of that pastor that condemned you, and all the accusations that come against your mind. They have no power against the blood of Jesus Christ shed for you, for you have been given authority to trample on those snakes and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy and nothing by any means shall harm you. Stand and keep on standing, be strong in the Lord and the power of His might.

I am not saying this will be easy, but know that you have others standing with you. Our true assembly is in the heavenlies, and we all stand in agreement with your victory where the real battle is being fought, and that battle belongs to the Lord, who is victorious.

Standing with you, waiting for the manifestation of your victory which has already been won.

Your sister in Christ Jesus our Lord.

judy

[The0]

Thank you Judy, thank you Rosered for your kind and uplifting words. Tonight I asked the Lord to forgive me for my sins and prevarications. I got up renewed and forgiven. Things will be different from now on. Praise His Name!

[Wint O Green]

Hello Theo I pray for the Lord to make you new in Him. I believe that one day God will give you the things that you once lost. He is the one who can make you new. Hold on to the mercy, Love, and GRACE that Christ gave us when He died on the cross. He did it for our sins, to set us free from all torment and anxiety you or any of us may be going through. I read your post and it really got to me, just made me think of how hard life can be. Like I said, God will one day restore what you once lost, and this time it will be for the bettter, because you will be made new in HIM! Remember GRACE...Gods Riches At Christs Expence! Many Blessings in Jesus! Wint O Green  :angel4: :Peace:

[Pierac]

 :welcome: Roger,

Looking forward to see you around here on the boards.

[judy]

Rejoicing with you Theo, in this new day that the Lord has made for you! Will continue to stand with you until all is restored.

I praise you Lord, for your love never fails, and your mercies are new every morning.

judy

[aspiring son]

I come in agreement with my everyone else. The things of the past will contiually try to rear their ugly head, but I have this scripture for you from the Lord;

"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it(perfection in Christ). But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead".PHIL 3 13

I pray that your new found renewal will stay with you, my brother. But there will be tough times ahead. And as heartbreaking as they may be (and this goes for all of us) we must learn to see them as the teachings of God as he is slowly making us into his perfect image. Be still, and know that he is

God Bless

[willieH]

willieH: Hi The0!  Welcome to Tentmaker!  :cloud9:

another thing that i must say so you can know where i am coming from is that, right about the time that i was beginning to learn about UR, i fell away from the faith big time. i am still shocked at how low i fell. if i told you everything, you might not want me as member of this board. i am infinitely ashamed and repentant of my actions.

GOD says to FORGIVE, and NOT to JUDGE... He also thought you of enough value for CHRIST to die for your sins... You're okay with Him... You're okay with me!

honestly, i am trying to get back in fellowship with God, but haven't been able to cuz i have not been able to forgive myself for what i did. i hate myself, i curse myself, i cry myself to sleep; oftentimes, in a drunken stupor. i can't shake it off! i truly don't know how. i am desperate. i am so stressed. i sinned against my precious Heavenly Father and wife and children. i am a detestable and ugly person--an animal, a beast

This is who you (and all the rest of us) are The0:

Jer 18:4  And the VESSEL that He made of CLAY was MARRED, ...in the HAND of the POTTER; so He made it AGAIN, ...another VESSEL as seemed GOOD to the POTTER to make...

CHRIST is the ONLY successful SON bro... the rest of us just borrow from His success!

We are ALL in need of the precious life of CHRIST...  Try to stop dying in the failures of your past, and begin living in successes of your present...  If you do so, soon your "past" will be seen to be the successes of your recent life,  ...instead of the failures of your distant past.

ALL of us have done shameful things... done things which we would think make us unacceptable... well CHRIST in due time, died for the UNGODLY (us)!

ALL JUDGMENT was committed  unto the Son, and CHRIST said to JUDGE NOT... well... that includes yourself... let your REPENTENCE stand as the POWER of GOD that abolishes those deeds bro...

Show those around you, especially your loving daughter... who you really are... a SON of the MOST HIGH, who has made a few mistakes... but who is now finding his way back home...  :bgdance:

peacE...
willieH  :icon_king:

[The0]

 :ty:  thank you judy, wint o green, aspiring son, and willieh. thank u all for holding me up in the love of Jesus which is in your hearts. you have blessed me with your encouragement and the scriptures some of you have cited.

i found Phil. 3:13 to be very helpful, especially the part of "forgetting what is behind". this has been the hardest part for me to accomplish. i have cried innumerable times when i have thought about the hurt i caused my wife. the questions i always ask myself and the Lord is, why did this happen? how in the world could i do this monstrosity to a woman who has only shown me love and who has stood with me in good times as well as bad times? i have truly repented of my sin; however, my actions have consequences which i must face.

hopefully, this time the vessel that the Potter has made "seems good" in his eyes.

what's next for me is to file our divorce pleadings and put this behind when the final court order is signed by a court judge and filed. i think it will be a sad day when this happens. my wife and i lived together as husband and wife for 17 years! aaah! the love of my life!  :sigh:

the Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away. may Hashem be blessed!

[aspiring son]

 :sigh:

I can feel your pain through what you write. There's no doubt in my mind that you are truly sorry and that you love your wife. We will keep you lifted up in prayer.


God be with you

[The0]

Hi TheO,

You're in the right place for the support you're looking for. I too felt that I had sinned too much, and neglected God for too long and was unsure of my standing salvation wise. Today I was listening to a radio call in show where a man expressed similar feelings. In the old days before Christ, a man would bring a an unblemished lamb as a sacrifice atonement for his offences against God. And the priest would examine the lamb, to see if it was worthy. The priest never examined the man himself. Now Christ is our unblemished Lamb, our atoning sacrifice. He alone is worthy. When I heard that perspective, I really felt a load lifted. The fact that you care about this, is proof that you are still connected to the Lord, and He will never leave or forsake you. And you have not forsaken Him as much as you think, because you wouldn't be so ashamed and repentant otherwise. Believe me, I know how horrible that feels because I just went through it. I was absolutely horrified and appalled with myself. Now you have two spirits at work in your life, The Holy Spirit who wants to renew you, and Satan who wants to drag you into a pit of guilt and self hatred. But God will win out. Remember, two of the greatest people who God ever chose to represent Him, David and Paul, were both murderers. You know that love you have for your baby girl? That's how your Father loves you.

I live in Vegas too, drop me a line if you ever want to get together over a cup of joe.

Brian

Hello Brian! Thank you for your encouragement. We can definitely sit to talk and have some coffee.

[albertx46]

welcome Roger!