Help! I'm at a crossroads in my faith!

[Shadrak-Daniel]

Hello beloved UR brethren in Christ!
lately i've noticed that every other week i was growing increasingly mad and angry at God due to various reasons and internal conflicts related to his goodness and love.

I couldn't stop my anger and i gave full in into it, committing blasphemy and insulting even the Holy Ghost.

As a side note, i suffer of anxiety disorder and ADHD and am on antidepressants which further mess me up when intense emotional issues rise up.

All that aside.

I need help answering how do i start loving again a God who claims to be Love and will eventually reconcile the whole creation, without real evidence that He indeed is love.

Now don't get me wrong, i certainly do believe in God the Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost. I'm just struggling to genuinely worship and love them other than fear them even more than the Devil. At this moment i see them as the biggest boogieman under my bed ever, due to the unforgivable sin, the killing of Annanias and Saphyra.

And the list goes on:

- Cursing the human species with death due to an ignorant act of disobedience - the eating of the forbidden fruit - Instead of acting more lovingly and spending some time explaining them why was wrong what they did and fixing them there and then.

-Allowing Lucifer to fall and become the source of all sin and evil, when He could stop him out right in the beginning of all things thus not subjecting us to all the pain and torment we are facing today.

-having to kill His own son in order to redeem the whole creation when He outright could fix it so many ways but that's beside the point as i kinda understand why Jesus had to die...

-The Great flood - scientists discovered the ark which is proof it happened
-Separating the red sea and killing the Egyptians which left their bodies and chariots on the bottom - Scientists found them too
-Killing the first born son of any Egyptian family - What was the guilt of those poor children anyway?
-The plagues
-Killing the Hebrews because they were rebellious and were committing blasphemy in moments of anxiety - much like i'm insulting him due to fear

And many many others.

Almost every evidence that is scientifically proven that God exists and His son died, are found due to an act of murder commited by God.

Nothing much is found to prove that He is actually and genuinely good as He claims to be!

PLEASE HELP! I'm really scared right now! :mshock: :sigh:

[FineLinen]

My brother: the road of our Abba is one of making our way through the various avenues in which He teaches us. Every crossroad brings us to new challenges whereby we come to know Him in fuller dimensions. May His exceedingly abundant love & grace be yours in the journey!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=30&v=gafRz8vWp8c&feature=emb_logo

[guest6667]

Acts, 4:32 Now the entire group of those who believed were of one heart and mind, and no one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but instead they held everything in common. With great power the apostles were giving testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was on all of them. For there was not a needy person among them because all those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the proceeds of what was sold, and laid them at the apostles' feet. This was then distributed to each person as any had need.


Mark, 5:25 Now a woman suffering from bleeding for twelve years had endured much under many doctors. She had spent everything she had and was not helped at all. On the contrary, she became worse. Having heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his clothing... 34 "Daughter," he said to her, "your faith has saved you. Go in peace and be healed from your affliction."

The word for healed is ὑγιὴς (hygiēs), means
healthy, in good health, undamaged, whole, intact
fig. righteous, correct, wise, good, honest, in conformity to justice or truth

So the woman who touched Jesus's garment (righteousness) has been made whole, in the same way that the group in Acts were one heart and mind. The heart comes from God, and to be of one mind, is to be in agreement, not divided.

Luke, 14:33; In the same way, therefore, every one of you who does not renounce all his possessions cannot be my disciple. 

The woman and the group gave up/ exhausted, everything they had, that means, no possessions of the spiritual flesh remained.

The things that they have given up are the lusts of the world. Paul said that he was, for a time, left with a thorn, which Jesus in his parable about the seeds, tells us represents lusts of the world.

36 Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus by birth, the one the apostles called Barnabas (which is translated Son of Encouragement), sold a field he owned, brought the money, and laid it at the apostles' feet.

The field that is sold, is the unrighteous being cut of from the land.

Malachi, 3:12; "And all the nations will bless you, because you will be a desired land," says the Lord Almighty,

The 'heavens and earth' represent the Law, what is done in the heavens will be done on the earth, and after Jesus fulfilled the Law of Moses, through his Spirit he gave us a new Heaven and a new Earth, the Law of the Spirit, where it is God working in you to do and to will his good pleasure.

There is no known etymology to support that Barnabas means Son of Encouragement, but it is there to tell us that he is a Son of the good news, (a son of God because he has been given faith). And he has laid all his subsistence at the feet of Jesus.


Acts, 5:1 But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property. However, he kept back part of the proceeds with his wife's knowledge, and brought a portion of it and laid it at the apostles' feet.

He has not sold everything he posses, he still has some will of the flesh. So he comes to the Lord still in the flesh and God says, "I never knew you. Depart from me, you lawbreakers!" People can hear God, but they cant enter into God's presence, until they have been perfected.

Acts, 5:3 "Ananias," Peter asked, "why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and keep back part of the proceeds of the land? Wasn't it yours while you possessed it? And after it was sold, wasn't it at your disposal? Why is it that you planned this thing in your heart? You have not lied to people but to God."  When he heard these words, Ananias dropped dead, and a great fear came on all who heard. The young men got up, wrapped his body, carried him out, and buried him.

2 Timothy, 2:25-26, instructing his opponents with gentleness. Perhaps God will grant them repentance leading them to the knowledge of the truth. Then they may come to their senses and escape the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

Hearing the words of the Apostle, caused a great fear to come over some/ the fear of God, and for Ananias, hearing the word, caused death. They buried him, he returned to the earth. Some people will think that this death is a death of the flesh, but I think it is death and darkness, a hardening of the heart.

7 About three hours later, his wife came in, not knowing what had happened.  "Tell me," Peter asked her, "did you sell the land for this price? "
"Yes," she said, "for that price."

What is done in the heavens is done in the earth, He lied in his spirit and so he lied in his wife.

1 Thessalonians, 4:4; that each of you knows how to control his own body in holiness and honor,

From David Bently Heart's translation of the new testament;
σκεῦος (skevos): "vessel", "implement", sometimes "sarcophagus." Most interpreters take this to be a reference to the body (as its verbal form does in 2 Corithians 4:7), but some think it to be a direct translation of the Hebrew Keli, used in some Rabbinic sources as a term for one's wife.

The body is the wife of the spirit, the spirit was given a wife to complete the tasks on the earth. Jesus was crucified at the third hour, so maybe the significance of the 'three hours later' is that it is the flesh that has been crucified with Christ. But either way, the text is thick with symbology, to take it literally as meaning, a man is struck dead for lying about the percentage of his money, that he is giving away, seems to me to be missing the point of the text.


9 Then Peter said to her, "Why did you agree to test the Spirit of the Lord? Look, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out."
10 Instantly she dropped dead at his feet. When the young men came in, they found her dead, carried her out, and buried her beside her husband. Then great fear came on the whole church and on all who heard these things.

'Look at the feet', Jesus said "Look at my hands and my feet, that it is I myself!" Those who deny the word, like Aninias, shake the dust (earth) off your feet when you leave that home. As it is written: How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news. So it is hearing the good news that has caused her to die, either a death of the flesh or a hardening of the heart, depending on your view. Thinking about it now, the fear that came on all the church, makes me think that Aninias was saved because, the consequence of seeing God, is that they share the light with the world, people hear through them.


But, whatever the meaning and word of the scriptures, the only way to know that God is a God of Love, is to experience his love. Jesus did not have to die on the cross, he died that way because it was good. It was good for God to make us first in Adam, and then to make us again in Christ. Through all these things and more, God shows us his Love.

It is natural to feel anger and negative emotions towards God. He forgives everything, by falling, he picks us up, by dying, he gives us life. If you don't question all the doubts you have about God, then you are holding things back that he knows about anyway. He uses darkness for good, when the apostles were on the boat and Jesus fell asleep, they started to panic because of the winds. The winds are the winds of the spirit of the earth, Jesus's sleep signifies death for them, and causes them to panic. But he wakes up and rebukes the winds, because God has power over all darkness, but these things are good for a time. Paul's thorn was so that he would not be conceited. Before we know good, we learn evil.


Hebrews 1:10 And: In the beginning, Lord, you established the earth, and the heavens are the works of your hands; they will perish, but you remain. They will all wear out like clothing;  you will roll them up like a cloak, and they will be changed like clothing. But you are the same, and your years will never end.

The first heavens and earth were made in him and he will roll them up. They were made to perish (death and sin), they will be changed like a cloth, the garment of Jesus, we will all touch it and be transformed. When this has happened we will know the fullness of God's Love, but God has always been Love.

For this reason there is a lot of darkness in the world today, I think you can see the deception and unbelief in the structures of the world. The world acts as one, with its punitive law, its vices and it's violence towards its enemies. Today God is a light in darkness, but you can also see his love in the sky, in kittens and in flowers. I think, the love you have felt towards people, would not have a place in a world created by an evil God. If people are still being perfected, then creation is ongoing, that is what I think we are seeing.

edit. I think the fact that we have to know God through his Spirit, to learn that he is love, and what I think is a fact, that the world sees God as hateful, either explicitly of implicitly (God of Hell), supports that he is Love as the scriptures say. Because this follows the pattern of, born into Adam (runs from God), born into Christ (so we can one day dwell in his presence with all of our being).

If you know that the scriptures are true, then surely the hefty requirements and uncompromising standards of Love, are there to tell us of the perfection of God's Love.

I think Ananias is contrasted with Barnabas, for the reason of contrasting one who accepts the Gospel, with one who hears the word, but the worries of this age and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful. God doesn't smite people for turning away, but I think there is reason to say that he spiritually blinds for a season.

[marie glen]

oh dear.. God bless you dear.. I think we all go through this.. the shaking of our fist at God (whether literally or spiritually). I do think this is the school of hard knocks! But I see it much more as a natural turn of events. That God as Life itself and also Perfection ("Is perfect", Mt.5:48) just naturally makes imperfection to be the opposite of Life. (But blended into the message/good news is nonbiblical myth keeping things confusing.)

This being true how does God create genuinely able to think and reason beings, AND, keep perfection/paradise intact?

Also don't forget in our own day we are taught to relate more with the criminal than the victim of a crime.. so sad one goes to prison. But what about the life they stole? or perhaps greatly damaged?

Also those at the flood who's thoughts - thus actions - were only evil, the next thing they know will be "resurrection into agelasting correction" (kolazo - correction! NoT punishment, etc as translated. :doh: :sigh: ) ...And of course the Lord "preached to them via the Spirit" through"Noah a preacher of righteousness" for like a hundred years.. plenty long enough for folks (and children) to have to live in those horrible living conditions of every ones thoughts and thus actions being "only evil".

Jude 7 tells us what judgment and 'hellfire' is - Earthly. Event.

But if there were no cause and effect, no reap what is sown and planted.. Well what sort of order is that? Is He expected to allow murder, theft, oppressions to be a natural part of life? And never ending?

Should He fully program all beings endowed with thinking ability from the get go? Is that true thinking and reasoning ability?

Well, actually, I guess the whole thing is giving and yielding ourself to God.. Do we believe what God says, or what we feel? Which one is tbe truth we should rest and stand in..

HOW can He endow true thinking and reasoning ability and capacity, aNd, keep paradise/perfection perfectly intact?

I believe Perfect does all things as done in order to bring about the utter best 'end' result. And it is in our own heart and mind that we "work out our own salvation".. And the Son's dying on the cross is a strong enough image to pierce (ultimately) even the psyche of the very worst despot.. I believe Father Himself ("Love") would have played that role had it been possible without all things dissolving.. He being Life itself.. Not possible for The Father to die..
:Peace2: :girlheart:

[Shadrak-Daniel]

Thank you everybody for these comforting words, I pray my depression will stabilize soon and will get better as these times go by.

[marie glen]

I was thinking too.. how hard it is during these days as the world trends are so strong and fierce in distrust and the slandering and accusing of God.. Strong trends.. of the workings of the adversary (&co.) the "spirits of the air".. and airwaves.. Fierce spirits.. but if we "resist them they will flee". At my worst times I simply pray the Lord's name over and over.. That and resting in Him and in the truth.. Reading from the gospels every day keeps me armed with truth.. And I read the letters in the order believed written.. which makes a more complete story emerge.. less confusion.. The enemy loves confusion.. Once we are "grounded in His Word" most of all these things clear up.. because we are armed with the truth. Like body armor and large covering shield.. And ever consciously yielding to Him regularly in our prayers.. I once suffered from deep dark depressions.. :dsunny: :cloud9: HE will not let us down.. :Peace2: :girlheart: "The power at work in us is the same as rose Jesus from the grave" (Ephesians)..."He is faithful to complete the work He has begun in us". (Eph?)

[Age-enduring]

We sorrow for consequences. But blaming doesn't help anyone. Nevertheless, we have to figure out the cycles of attack and act with wisdom to break them. It's not easy, but there can be peace in the storm, by faith. Faith chooses to love (and not blame) when hope feels like it is lost, and in doing that you prove that there is an All Loving Abba, who in the ages cannot help but achieve the council of His own will.

[rosered]

 
Dear  Shadrak-Daniel, 

Some very wonderful answers  already .

I would say  this , that might help you also as it has many of us  already .

When I read   your reasoning as to Why God ?  explanation , we give these words power to harm or save by  what ever   reasoning we have .
I saw them as  the mind  of our carnal nature   that questions  with the letter of the law  that kills , kills faith , kills hope and tries to kill LOVE  , but it never can , because LOVE always remains a constant .

Fear is of the earthly sensual and devilish  reasoning ...

   but the calm and rational   reasoning  is  being  the action of thinking about something in a logical, sensible way.

There is most definitely as higher and more  reasonable   thinking  from above us , and it is Spiritual in nature  , having the mind of Christ, an anointing of the Holy Spirit to teach us  better things  and   turns the words of this book , the bible into
A Living breathing and  glorious  masterpiece .

Trusting God  totally , means you are putting Him first , a  foremost command  that helps set the course .
  If we lack  , than we really need to ask Him to give it to us
  Because to me it has to be wakened up  and stirred up inside us first  , from the sleep of death   
We to me are in the death realm , death , death , death   in every form and way  , it is like a dark ground  here 

But it is the seeds planted that being  good  ones or evil  ones that have to be established   or sown into our dark earth bodies

, that is the only purpose  for our natural and very temporary bodies   to me .   like a vehicle or container   to hold something in  ,  Be it precious or vile  , they both grow together to bear   fruit  , after taking root    only to be  seperated    , or in some cases  die out  in the processes
  We can see this in nature all the time when farmers plant in seasons  and all the elements  involved  in each cycle

  For me , no two are ever the exact same ,  nor are they all  given the same Light or  fertility  or water etc ...

but some can by extreme  circumstances  survive  all these elements .
I do not think God  is a cruel  master planner
  but the opposite  actually

  HE IS WAITING PATIENTLY    for the fulness of the end   that has always been set from the beginning  to run its perfect course  , when we finally come    to the place of realization  that   GOD has always been the  ALL WISE ONE  and can totally trust  not just in some things but all things  in this life and the new life to come . 

and  we can finally  get over ourselves  and start trusting Him completely  and in every   way , we will begin to rest  in that power over death and the world  and getting over it , and will also wait on Him  to finish it , in a peace that surpasses all understanding it ..
Being able to finally  let the HOLY SPIRIT  DO  ITS PERFECT WORK .

We will all praise GOD FOR SUCH A GLORIOUS  OUTCOME  IN THE END .

and rejoice  in the joy set before us also !!   :dsunny: :HeartThrob:

[Shadrak-Daniel]

Thanks for this message Rosered and everybody! It really helps. Every little helps to build my mind up despite the enemy doing its best to try and hinder. God will win! AMEN! :dsunny:

[rosered]

Thanks for this message Rosered and everybody! It really helps. Every little helps to build my mind up despite the enemy doing its best to try and hinder. God will win! AMEN! :dsunny:

Oh yes he will brother !!!!!!   amen , you just got to believe Him at His word and by His Spirit   with all your heart and might  :dsunny: :HeartThrob:

and if it fails you at times ,just ask Him to increase your faith and hope and love with more of Himself , because HE NEVER FAILS

[Shadrak-Daniel]

OK, new issue.
I was just recovering from the last pit of sorrow, and was building myself up to repent and try and give Jesus a chance again when this happen:

There's this friend of a friend by the name Dora, who is sick with the Corona Virus. She has two little children who can't get in touch with her and she is about to die.
Also she has been very faithful and God loving most of her life and has been active in many areas out of love for Jesus, only for her to be allowed to die this abominable death!
Countless people are praying for her, including me, yet God seems to not give a s**t (excuse the word but i'm fumed and had just finished filling God with the F word about a dozen times as in F you God and even told Him that this is the only thing he deserves from the position i find myself in...)

And i know for a fact she wouldn't be the only one in this downright merciless and tragic situation...

My questions are as follows and please help because my anger is mixed with panic right now...

-Why does G seem to not give a rat's bum (to try and control my panic/anger) in situations like this especially when the person is faithful and has children none the less! little ones and is a mum (i have a mum but am no little anymore)

-Why does G save me from a literal horde of demons, favors my family with nice blessings and promises of safety, when He turns his back at others who really are in need! Not that i'm not in desperate need either, as He left my anxiety disorder as my perpetual Thorn in the flesh...

-How can i trust Him that he'll keep his end of the word about keeping my family safe when He is cruelly allowing me to witness this horrible tragedy happening before my very eyes?

-How do i get the motivation to follow Him other than the fear that if i don't the Devil will finish what he started 3 years ago, and that is kill me outright?

Please... this really is a dark night of my soul it seems and i'm about to drop the hand of Jesus because the reasons to distrust him only seem to grow!
(well, i might not though because i'm more terrified of what'll happen if i i do, but i may harden my heart towards loving him and feeling safe with him nonetheless)
I'm sorry if i seem to overwhelming, but this is the mess i seem to be fighting internally almost constantly in the recent weeks... :sigh: :faint: :btantrum: :CryBaby: :CryBaby: :Mcry: :help: :talkangry:

HELP! Many scriptures to motivate do come to mind but they don't help the fact that i keep throwing F bombs in the face of God...  :sigh: :btantrum: :CryBaby: :Mcry:

Also, i'm pretty much alone in this crisis, due to the fact that i have no UR friends to share my thoughts with where i live, but square-minded ETers and my mum who she is a UR but she is stuck in India and i seriously don't want to worry her with my troubles right now...

[marie glen]

This world is really something. That's what I came to the forum to say. And also, thank goodness the knowing of good is thrown in with the knowing of evil.

I'm reminded of a verse, "with every temptation He provides a way of escape".
? I guess we have to find that ? I think of it as grabbing hold of a dangling rope, lol.

Boy oh boy we don't want to take what's wrong with the world personally. The problem of course is our having the ability to think and choose.. Now if God intervened everywhere.. It's very disturbing that He doesn't but what would be the sense if He prevented imperfect things from running their course.. And how long would He have to do that? When you discover truth.. because it's what we're made of-ultimately, you will be the most happy because of this, your deep sorrow. Your deep disappointment in your heavenly father. Or not really.. disappointment in life.. Which is the same thing because (surely?) He iS life! The spark of, but only perfect. He "being perfect" (Mt.5:48). All I can say is he is very much a realist. Or so that's how I see it. If He wants to have Perfection.. How does He engrave it upon every heart, mind and being that there is only the One Way of Life. Imperfection can never work.. it's an abyss of potential. Which btw is in every imperfect heart. Imperfect is death, suffering, hardship. Paradise/perfection has no imperfect. Because it can't, and BE paradise/perfection, and "enduring".
I will pray for Dora..

[marie glen]

p.s.. truth is the sWord.. against our (and His) enemies.
:HeartThrob:

[GodIsLove]

Shadrak,

Just came to say I can TOTALLY relate, you are NOT alone, I also have diagnosed anxiety disorder and PTSD, and it's a constant struggle, sometimes it seems to be only in the background and I am able to be pretty functional and peaceful, other times it absolutely consumes me.

I am just coming out of a really rough episode so I'm here to say:

In the moment it feels like it will never end, prayer seems futile, you are literally battling with your brain, and it all seems so hopeless

BUT

I offer you hope when it all seems hopeless (thanks FL), I will pray for you and your friend. God reminded me recently that I need to pray more, and that each time my anxiety takes over I need to pray. Each time, I usually feel abandoned by God and I feel like prayer is useless. But it's one of the only things we can do when we are powerless.

It's all for a purpose even if it doesn't seem like it is, and even if we don't know fully why.  God knows you are suffering and isn't counting it against you. He understands you more than you understand yourself.

But back to my offering of support: it is AWFUL to be where you are right now and I know firsthand.

Praying for peace for you!

[jabcat]

Thinking about this and about your previous post about praying/needing to pray over and over again GIL..some what may seem to be random thoughts.

satan is seeking to devour..resist him and he will flee..he will return, still seeking to devour.  so pray always in the Spirit...God delivers, and has promised to be with us and never forsake.  we may usually take that to mean "for earthly, temporal/temporary things"...but even though the end result is that we may be taken out of this life, He is still with us - probably even more so..because then we are literally and directly in His presence and TOTAL protection...no more dying.  those walking in humility and obedience in fellowship with Him, no more pain.  even those in rebellion, perhaps some pain (and dying to self, but it's still temporary and for our good and with a perfect end result. 

even if i make my bed in sheol, you are there

Struggles are real..God is "realer".   :dsunny:

[jabcat]

in process of walking through and learning some of this too..

so also, He gives peace as we submit and look to Him - whatever is happening in this life, peace... and a way of escape.  many times He spares us in this life.  for some, that way of ultimate healing and escape  may even be the way of Stephen...even being stoned, his eyes were on heaven and was seeing glorious things..

[jabcat]

But Stephen was filled with the Holy Spirit. He looked toward heaven, where he saw our glorious God and Jesus standing at his right side.  Then Stephen said, "I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right side of God!"

The council members shouted and covered their ears. At once they all attacked Stephen  and dragged him out of the city. Then they started throwing stones at him. The men who had brought charges against him put their coats at the feet of a young man named Saul.

As Stephen was being stoned to death, he called out, "Lord Jesus, please welcome me!"  He knelt down and shouted, "Lord, don't blame them for what they have done." Then he died.  ("for me to live is Christ [for His benefit/cause] for me to die is gain.....to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord")

[Shadrak-Daniel]

Thank you everybody for the Godly Grace you have shown in my crisis. Indeed in a moment of panic i lash out and really don't feel like anything is working, and especially since i seem to have a pretty foul mouth in those moments.
I'm still struggling to repent of deeply rooted sins in my flesh and the more i do the deeper they seem to get...

To be honest, and as honest as to the core of my being. I ADORE abba! And that is probably one of the reasons that in my distress i get so fumed at Him! I feel genuinely anxious that i may not be able to rely on him after all.

Last night, Jesus showed me Grace even in that pit of sorrow and revealed to me His peace shortly after i uploaded what i had to say.
He reminded me of what He taught me about His TRUE nature over the last 3 years since i knew Him.
I only just finished reading the book Love Wins by Rob Bell. And it was a true masterpiece and an undeserved Gift from Abba to keep healing my soul as i root myself more in Him.

But the more i know the clearer i see Him! I'm still fighting my flesh and trying to repent of insulting Him repeatedly and thanking Him for not taking me out of this life yet, as He did made me know that He has some hefty work laid out before me for the future decades.

Especially since i am a fiery and proud Universalist Christian... :dsunny: From this point of view the body of Christ (the Church) is really messed up and needs a lot of hard work to tend for and help participate at cleaning the mess created by ET faith and Annihilationism.

I pray a TRILLION Blessings on all of you my beloved Brethren in Christ of whom i can be free to express myself as i am and not hide as i have to do at the church i frequent...

And the same blessings on this forum and ministry! Let is explode and make the truth known to as many as possible in JESUS NAME!  :cloud9:

I still feel under the pressure of last night's mess but my inner being - deep within my subconscious - will allways trust Abba even when things don't make sense... it is the only way i am still breathing!

Praise Jesus and forgive me for the foul mouth!

[rosered]

Dear ones  ,


you are so right !


it is a different kind of stress alright having to wait and see and trust in something besides in yourself , it seems darned if you do and darned if you don't in every choice in your life all the time and all the inner conflict that it brings , your own divided self lol , to me faith is just resting in hope that Love , God is love will see us all though and healing our divided selves into one new path , a small one , not everyone has to go down the same one you do and it is ok .

but in time we all seem to have to make that choice to go in our own way ..I found out the hard way , you cannot save everyone nor make them all happy all the time , heck you cannot even do that for yourself , much less everyone else , in order to enjoy each breath ,,,you have to realize where that breath comes from and be thankful for it , that may be all you have left after all , but it is enough to keep on trying again  :HeartThrob: ,


I found a hidden voice message yesterday of my sisters  voice and her crazy laugh ,  I have not heard that voice in  8 years !,

it made my day with tears of joy and sorrow both my inner self was happy and my outer self was missing her badly .. but it helped me to focus on the true eternal realm and know this is all just so temporary and not the real thing .

we as humans seem to mix them up and loose our priorities and place along the way ., some times you just got to stop the madness and just center again in what is our true reality and identity .

our own thoughts can be the biggest tormentors and make us prisoners  of them .  keep our eyes on the prize , that is Jesus  and just talk to Him in your thoughts  , He is listening  still .


love always

[rosered]

in process of walking through and learning some of this too..

so also, He gives peace as we submit and look to Him - whatever is happening in this life, peace... and a way of escape.  many times He spares us in this life.  for some, that way of ultimate healing and escape  may even be the way of Stephen...even being stoned, his eyes were on heaven and was seeing glorious things..

  Amen!


2  Cor 4 Treasures in Jars of Clay
...15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is extending to more and more people may overflow in thanksgiving, to the glory of God.


16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, yet our inner self is being renewed day by day.


17 For our light and momentary affliction is producing for us an eternal glory that is far beyond comparison....

[rosered]

p.s.. truth is the sWord.. against our (and His) enemies.
:HeartThrob:

  Amen Sis !,   His own S/word and Spirit  fights against all forms of death and torment in our souls !
John 5 is such a comfort to  focus on during these times of troubles ..........  as the earth is in  a great trial of faith  and  turmoil .

19So Jesus replied, "Truly, truly, I tell you, the Son can do nothing by Himself, unless He sees the Father doing it. For whatever the Father does, the Son also does.

20The Father loves the Son and shows Him all He does. And to your amazement, He will show Him even greater works than these. 21For just as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, so also the Son gives life to whom He wishes.

22  Furthermore, the Father judges no one, but has assigned all judgment to the Son,


23so that all may honor the Son just as they honor the Father. Whoever does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent Him.

24 Truly, truly, I tell you, whoever hears My word and believes Him who sent Me has eternal life and will not come under judgment. Indeed, he has crossed over from death to life.

25  Truly, truly, I tell you, the hour is coming and has now come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live. 26For as the Father has life in Himself, so also He has granted the Son to have life in Himself. 27And He has given Him authority to execute judgment, because He is the Son of Man.

28 Do not be amazed at this, for the hour is coming when all who are in their graves will hear His voice 29and come out—those who have done good to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil to the resurrection of judgment.

30I can do nothing by Myself; I judge only as I hear. And My judgment is just, because I do not seek My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me.

I believe this means all whom are   still stuck  in the  flesh  thinking and all those whom are focusing in the Spiritual thinking

  EACH  has its own reward and  punishment  as to whom is  ruling   our hearts   be it our outer man/self     that is flesh and perishing or inner man/self  being strengthened   in Christ  day by day .


  :dsunny: :HeartThrob:    when we literally die   we have a soul /a life that  is being joined to the HOLY SPIRIT and has  inherited  eternal life .  but many are given this even now  , because GODS GRACE is greater than our sinful nature . 

and does keep on living , he will not leave our souls /lives in Hell  / the grave or the place of torment .

to me the torment is trying to preserve the fleshly body that was only temporary  in the first place and  was not meant to live forever in this state of being , we are  not born of this world , but born of the WORD , but this world is  to inherit death  , always was and is and will be !

where  evil dwells in  and manifest its ugly self as  totally fear driven !
BORN OF GOD  IS BORN OF ETERNAL LIFE , ALWAYS . AND LOVES SEES TO IT !

[FineLinen]

But Stephen was filled with the Holy Spirit. He looked toward heaven, where he saw our glorious God and Jesus standing at his right side.  Then Stephen said, "I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right side of God!"

The council members shouted and covered their ears. At once they all attacked Stephen  and dragged him out of the city. Then they started throwing stones at him. The men who had brought charges against him put their coats at the feet of a young man named Saul.

As Stephen was being stoned to death, he called out, "Lord Jesus, please welcome me!"  He knelt down and shouted, "Lord, don't blame them for what they have done." Then he died.  ("for me to live is Christ [for His benefit/cause] for me to die is gain.....to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord")

Dear Jab: Thank you for being a true inspiration on our Tent!

"For those who feel their lives are a grave disappointment to God, it requires enormous trust and reckless, raging confidence to accept that the love of Jesus Christ knows no shadow of alteration or change. When Jesus said, 'Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy burdened,' He assumed we would grow weary, discouraged, and disheartened along the way. These words are a touching testimony to the genuine humanness of Jesus. He had no romantic notion of the cost of discipleship. He knew that following Him was as unsentimental as duty, as demanding as love." -Brennan Manning-

[rosered]

James 5


Truthful Speech
12 Now above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath. Your "yes" must be "yes," and your "no" must be "no," so that you won't fall under judgment.

Effective Prayer
13 Is anyone among you suffering? He should pray. Is anyone cheerful? He should sing praises.


14 Is anyone among you sick? He should call for the elders of the church, and they should pray over him after anointing him with olive oil in the name of the Lord.

15 The prayer of faith will save the sick person, and the Lord will restore him to health; if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.

16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The urgent request of a righteous person is very powerful in its effect.

17 Elijah was a man with a nature like ours; yet he prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the land.

18 Then he prayed again, and the sky gave rain and the land produced its fruit.

19 My brothers, if any among you strays from the truth, and someone turns him back,

20 let him know that whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his life from death and cover a multitude of sins.

[marie glen]

..I was struck with this today.. how when Paul was headed to Jerusalem and knew he would be  arrested, other followers trying to tell him not to go, he said "I don't care what happens to me so long as I finish the work God has given me to do, and that work is to tell the good news about God's great kindness".

It was interesting to note too, some of the sentiments of the people of the world.. easily stirred up by Demetrius the silversmith.. then later in Jerusalem Paul himself pitted the Pharisees and Saducees against each other :laughing7: And how the people (earlier) a crowd stirred up by those leaders, hushed and listened to Paul until he shared how the LORD had and was sending him to the gentiles.. Then they rioted toward him again and he barely was able to be rescued. But the prophets had said God would reach out to "the nations". Those same nations are what are so easily stirred up today by the so prevalent and fierce spirits of "life is too hard.. not fair.. And it must be God's fault!" Psalm 2:1 says - why do "the nations" rage? And we see that raging against God.. Indeed we sort of teach it in our universities! So not only do we have our own psyche to work our way through but years of worldly conditioning..

I strongly believe in all suffering God is there - His grace buffeting the pain, sorrow, loss.. Carrying us. This world iS loss, ruin (apocalypse). This world is "missing the mark" (hamartia) translated sin, and is the opposite of God, who "is Perfect" and  because He iS Life - He - suffers it all!!

....Why in the world would He put Himself through all that?!
:Peace2: :girlheart:

[Dandelion]

I think what you are fearing is the consequences of balancing love with justice and mercy. God must be just, yet He also must be merciful. An easy fix often does not reach the core of the problem. Jesus had to be the sacrifice for our sins. No one else could truly do this act of love. He was God, so He was the perfect sacrifice, but, He was man, so He could represent us. He was the perfect sacrifice, and the last need for sacrifice. His death satisfied both mercy and justice.

God so understands the delicate balance between the two. We must also remember that to God, death is not a bad thing. It says in the Bible,

Luke 20:
37Even Moses demonstrates that the dead are raised, in the passage about the burning bush. For he calls the Lord 'the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. 38He is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for to Him all are alive."

And, remember Paul's words, that nothing can separate us from the love of God.....not even death.

D.

We also need to remember that Jesus came to show us that there will be trouble for us, in this world, but that, He has conquered the world. He counts every hair on our head.