I am an Aspergers and OCD sufferer - can't shake the feeling ET is true

[Josh Crowell]

I am actually in my own personal hell right now. I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome back in 2012. I had an extremely hard time succeeding in school. My greatest joy in school was a very loyal and loving friend, a girl named Samantha, who was diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

After flunking college due to severe mental anguish, which I would rather not share the details of, I began to develop a severe case of OCD. I began having a fear of harming others, getting people sick from germs, and fear of being aggravated to the point of hurting someone. Because of the nature of these fearful thoughts, I shut myself away from family and friends. My thoughts were then turning to God. I had not even read the Bible at all at this time, and I was cursing God for creating me, and at other times I would beg him for mercy. While going on a deep YouTube watching spree, I began following the New World Order doctrine. That doctrine did feel too literal in regards to the prophecy in Revelation, and focused on worldly corruption more than the church. My mother condemned that doctrine, and introduced me to reformed theology. There, my faith began to fall apart, as I soon realized that this is a God I could never, ever worship.

The immeasurable pride and arrogance of Calvinists really gets to me. They aggressively push how their gospel is the only truth that can bring glory to Jehovah, they will boast about how HOLY their God is, predestining billions to be endlessly tortured in the most infinitely horrifying ways unfathomable by man. All for their God's selfish glory and for the supposed "joy" of the elect. He ordained sin from the very beginning, created Satan for the purpose of doing the tempting because God is too pure and holy to do it himself, and tortures us for eternity for sins we were predetermined to do in God's plan. And if you ever say this to them, they will say "our God is sovereign, he does whatever he wants" "his ways are higher than man's" "there is no such thing as fair with God" "he is HOLY" "it's for the glory of God and his sheep" and "you are clay talking back to the potter". Their veneration of Augustine sickens me too. They PICK AND CHOOSE the things they believe he taught right, like double predestination and ET, and yet reject all of his Catholic heresies, like purgatory for sinners in communion with the Church, free will, justifying Christians waging war, and venerating Mary as "Holy Mother of God".

Matthew 7:16-20 King James Version (KJV)
16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?

17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.

18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.

19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.

20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

My mother, who is a Calvinist through and through, will talk about how great it is that God has chosen to have mercy on a small few, but tends to avoid talking about the other side of the coin: SOVEREIGN REPROBATION. The elect are "children of God" and the rest are "children of the Devil". They are appointed to ETERNAL WRATH. She said God does not create evil. Satan cannot create himself, and neither can man. If man could create Satan, A SPIRIT, wouldn't MAN be God? Look at the scriptures here, quoted straight from the traditional Calvinist idol of a translation, the 1611 King James Bible:

Genesis 3:1
Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

It says God made the serpent. OK, but then there's the argument that Satan was not the serpent, he only spoke through a physical serpent. What about this one:

Revelation 12:9
And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.

That old serpent called the Devil and Satan. Straight from the horse's mouth.

I have an infallible fear that ET is a harsh but undeniable truth. Behold, one verse that will always torment me for the rest of my entire life on this earth:

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.

Could it be Satan's spirit in me that is making me resist the hard truth? I feel as if there is a burning hatred in me for these Calvinists, I don't know if it's my feelings for the worldly people, or if it really just is what Jesus said. He did tell us to LOVE these people, right? I have this feeling that I may be on the road to blaspheming the Holy Spirit for denying Calvinism, but I am not like a Pharisee. A Pharisee does not have any compassion or forgiveness in their heart. There hearts were cold and hard like stone. Whereas mine I feel is truly a warm, soft, compassionate heart who has agape love for every soul, more than what the monster called the God of Calvinism who created them to torture. If he is our true Creator, there is only one thing I will praise him for: my love for the poor souls he created just to deem worthless to him. To quote Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn, "Alright then, I'll go to hell."

[Ross]

I used to assume that the starters of the variations to catholic beliefs were right on the money.
Calvin, Luther...  etc could see the rubbish the catholic priests were teaching.
Actually looking at how they came to their beliefs, seems to point out their own interpretation of faith.
Sure they claim visions- but that does not make them correct.
Paul states that the faith is a problem for the Jews, who want to see miracles, and the Greeks who love to claim wisdom.
1 Cor 1;23,24 " But we preach Christ crucified,
                       a stumbling block for the Jews
                       and  foolishness to the gentiles,
                       but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks,
                       Christ is the power of God and the wisdom of God."

Paul then points out the salvation through grace- unmerited favour.
"Not by works so that no one can boast."
Jesus states that many will cast out demons, do miracles- yet He NEVER knew them.
I.M.O the problem for those who teach  about hell is that they "claim" to know Jesus, but have indeed actually gone to the max in personal efforts to try and convince themselves of their salvation. I Used to be like that.

Romans 11;32 " For God has consigned ALL to disobedience so that He can show mercy to all."

1 Tim 1;13,14 " Even though I was formerly a blasphemer, persecutor, and an insolent person,
                       but I was shown Mercy, since being ignorant I had acted in unbelief;
                       and the grace of our Lord COMPLETELY overflowed for me with faith and love that ARE IN CHRIST JESUS."

Col 1;13 " He has rescued us from the tyranny of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of His beloved son."

This recognises the difference between the current age, and the coming ages when Christ will correct ALL at their appointed time.

I.M.O we have to have practical demonstrations of the difference between right and  wrong- some are left to their own devices to achieve salvation versus the provision of grace/salvation by our loving Father.
Which ever way people currently see things is in their own level of understanding and experience.
However, the coming ages will be of judgment/correction/development for them- NOT an eternal rejection, but a change of perspective to the reality of the power which we inherit because of Christ.
Perfect love casts out all fear- just some are not yet in the change- ergo not the first fruit/elect, but the coming generation.
The hellfire stuff chokes the ages to come and says there is either heaven or hell; so far from the truth that this distorts the future and instils fear- what dad threatens his child to love me or else? Our heavenly Father is way beyond that attempt at love.

You, Josh, are loved by Christ just like we all are-
               "Look what kind of love the Father HAS GIVEN US, THAT WE MAY BE CALLED THE SONS OF GOD."
"And we will be like Him/Christ."
Pretty glorious as we are changed from our attempt at glory to His provision of glory.

[marie glen]

 :hiya: "God is love" and "love never fails" - the fastest rebuttal for the Eternal Conscious Torment myth (pre and non Christian myth, btw) is that a father will discipline his child.. but not 'forever'. "Forever" is a very bad translation of aion (root of the english eon).. I believe those not saved during this lifetime will repent and be reconciled to God on Judgment 'Day'..

There's so much good material to read on this Tentmaker dot org site.. and also on the forum. It takes a little time and a lot of His word(s) (without the ET and 'forever' mindsets!)

:Pray: :Pray: God bless you! I know the Lord is working behind the scenes for you! And I'm pretty sure He will do a great work in you!! :Peace2:

[Patinak]

:Pray: :Pray: God bless you! I know the Lord is working behind the scenes for you! And I'm pretty sure He will do a great work in you!! :Peace2:

No doubt, AMEN!

[rosered]

:Pray: :Pray: God bless you! I know the Lord is working behind the scenes for you! And I'm pretty sure He will do a great work in you!! :Peace2:

No doubt, AMEN!

     :iagree: :friendstu:  Amen  , You are a fine young man Josh !

God keeps us  all  humble   by having flaws   , we may not like about others or ourselves .
  But keep praying   to God for your enemies  , love above all else    , with all that is in you  ...
Do not give up   , that is important    , to keep trying  every day given by the Lord is a clean new day to start  over , new  & fresh .

Keep thinking about the good things   that you love about God  and this  wonderful relationship you have now with Him .

[marie glen]

I used to assume that the starters of the variations to catholic beliefs were right on the money.
Calvin, Luther...  etc could see the rubbish the catholic priests were teaching.
Actually looking at how they came to their beliefs, seems to point out their own interpretation of faith.
Sure they claim visions- but that does not make them correct.
Paul states that the faith is a problem for the Jews, who want to see miracles, and the Greeks who love to claim wisdom.
1 Cor 1;23,24 " But we preach Christ crucified,
                       a stumbling block for the Jews
                       and  foolishness to the gentiles,
                       but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks,
                       Christ is the power of God and the wisdom of God."

Paul then points out the salvation through grace- unmerited favour.
"Not by works so that no one can boast."
Jesus states that many will cast out demons, do miracles- yet He NEVER knew them.
I.M.O the problem for those who teach  about hell is that they "claim" to know Jesus, but have indeed actually gone to the max in personal efforts to try and convince themselves of their salvation. I Used to be like that.

Romans 11;32 " For God has consigned ALL to disobedience so that He can show mercy to all."

1 Tim 1;13,14 " Even though I was formerly a blasphemer, persecutor, and an insolent person,
                       but I was shown Mercy, since being ignorant I had acted in unbelief;
                       and the grace of our Lord COMPLETELY overflowed for me with faith and love that ARE IN CHRIST JESUS."

Col 1;13 " He has rescued us from the tyranny of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of His beloved son."

This recognises the difference between the current age, and the coming ages when Christ will correct ALL at their appointed time.

I.M.O we have to have practical demonstrations of the difference between right and  wrong- some are left to their own devices to achieve salvation versus the provision of grace/salvation by our loving Father.
Which ever way people currently see things is in their own level of understanding and experience.
However, the coming ages will be of judgment/correction/development for them- NOT an eternal rejection, but a change of perspective to the reality of the power which we inherit because of Christ.
Perfect love casts out all fear- just some are not yet in the change- ergo not the first fruit/elect, but the coming generation.
The hellfire stuff chokes the ages to come and says there is either heaven or hell; so far from the truth that this distorts the future and instils fear- what dad threatens his child to love me or else? Our heavenly Father is way beyond that attempt at love.

You, Josh, are loved by Christ just like we all are-
               "Look what kind of love the Father HAS GIVEN US, THAT WE MAY BE CALLED THE SONS OF GOD."
"And we will be like Him/Christ."
Pretty glorious as we are changed from our attempt at glory to His provision of glory.

Amen Ross!(I didn't have time to read your post last night, glad I read it today!)

(Josh) A faithful Father will indeed discipline his child.. but not forever! And some things many may think of as His discipline is simply somewhat happenstance. Stuff happens. Children are not programmed to behave, etc. - And most discipline I'm inclined to think of as results and consequences.. Experience is said to be a very good teacher.

I have to think that surely a loving father is faithful to "all" His children, not just some. What faithful parent says, oh we lost one, but oh well, we have plenty of others.  :Chinscratch: That sorta gives me a cold chill.

Romans 3 - {Israel is a microcosm of the world? Jesus is "savior of the world"}
1 [New International Version] What advantage, then, is there in being a Jew, or what value is there in circumcision? 2 Much in every way! First of all, the Jews have been entrusted with the very words of God. 3 What if some were unfaithful? Will their unfaithfulness nullify God's faithfulness? 4 Not at all! Let God be true! And every human being a liar. All may be unfaithful, untrue. But God!
Is faithful, true, genuine. :HeartThrob: {Romans 11:26 - "And so all Israel shall be saved.."} [Young's Literal Translation] According as it hath been written, `That Thou mayest be declared righteous in Thy words, and mayest overcome in Thy being judged.'

Yet, it's not like I've never had that feeling of "dread" and thought.. what if we're wrong? But I've come to think of that as a typical human feeling, one sowed and taken advantage of by threatening spirits principalities..

But I very much believe in the 'end' - we all will know "His faithfulness" is/was supreme. And boundless.
       :cloud9: :HeartThrob:

[Dandelion]

I am very familiar with Aspergers and OCD.

Two points I would like to suggest to you.

One is to try to contain your thoughts to the positive and not the negative of disliking the Calvinists.

Philippians 4:8 New Living Translation (NLT)

8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Next is remember that how we respond to people should be based on God's plan for us, and not how they act or respond.

I love this poetic prose attributed to Mother Teresa of Calcutta. It encourages me, everyday, to remember why and for whom I do all things.

Mother Teresa's Anyway Poem

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

I am sorry for your struggle. My ex-husband had your struggles, and I was married for 27 years, so I understand the enormity of it, better than some.

You appear to be insightful, and I believe that that is the key to coping and healing.

If you give it to God, I believe whatever we struggle with, he will give us rest, comfort, and many creative solutions and routes, which alone we would have never thought of.

God honors our sincere searching and longing for the truth, I so believe. We see through a mirror dimly here, but one day we will see face to face.

Above all, trust in God....in His love for us, that never fails.

These are some of the ways I have worked on overcoming my own struggles in life. I hope you find them helpful.

I wish you well on your journey....praying for you to have His peace, that surpasses all understanding.

For those of you who read this previously, I removed some info. about my ex-husband. I don't think it was a good idea to assume I knew what he was thinking or feeling. I apologize for my bad judgement, with that.

D.

[marie glen]

Awesome, so helpful post, sister D..  :friendstu: :HeartThrob: :gsmile:

[sheila]

 :2c:asuggestion....Pray unto the Father in Jesus name...and ask Him if the salvation of all men is true.Then wait on Him.  :HeartThrob:

[moxieman]

I also suffer from OCD.  I am recovering from moderate depression and have borderline Aspergers.  You will be in my prayers.  The struggle is real.  Have you read Feeling Good by David Burns?  It has helped me a lot.  Negative thoughts affect our moods and there is a mind/body connection.  Christianity is the treatment for OCD.  OCD is not really curable, but it is definitely manageable.  The positive thought of the salvation of all, and God's love for you no matter what, will overcome the negative thoughts and doubts.  Doubt is part of the life of faith, but all it takes is a mustard seed to move a mountain.  Hold on to the things you know, confess them out loud.  I believe Jesus loves me, I believe He has taken away all my sin, there is no sin between me and God.  Refocus.  Contact me at brianwhite1231@gmail.com if you wish. 

[sheila]

I read that book back in the early 80"s.Helped me,too!God uses positive and satan provides the negative..for every 'thought'placed in our minds.subjecting every thought

unto Christ. GOD IS LOVE=thought/mindof Christ....ET -God will torture eternally=satan's thought/serpents-head... accusing,blaspheming God's name.

the battle of the mind...lies vs truth..blind unbelief vs light/faith. :HeartThrob:

[trettep]

I am actually in my own personal hell right now. I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome back in 2012. I had an extremely hard time succeeding in school. My greatest joy in school was a very loyal and loving friend, a girl named Samantha, who was diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

After flunking college due to severe mental anguish, which I would rather not share the details of, I began to develop a severe case of OCD. I began having a fear of harming others, getting people sick from germs, and fear of being aggravated to the point of hurting someone. Because of the nature of these fearful thoughts, I shut myself away from family and friends. My thoughts were then turning to God. I had not even read the Bible at all at this time, and I was cursing God for creating me, and at other times I would beg him for mercy. While going on a deep YouTube watching spree, I began following the New World Order doctrine. That doctrine did feel too literal in regards to the prophecy in Revelation, and focused on worldly corruption more than the church. My mother condemned that doctrine, and introduced me to reformed theology. There, my faith began to fall apart, as I soon realized that this is a God I could never, ever worship.

The immeasurable pride and arrogance of Calvinists really gets to me. They aggressively push how their gospel is the only truth that can bring glory to Jehovah, they will boast about how HOLY their God is, predestining billions to be endlessly tortured in the most infinitely horrifying ways unfathomable by man. All for their God's selfish glory and for the supposed "joy" of the elect. He ordained sin from the very beginning, created Satan for the purpose of doing the tempting because God is too pure and holy to do it himself, and tortures us for eternity for sins we were predetermined to do in God's plan. And if you ever say this to them, they will say "our God is sovereign, he does whatever he wants" "his ways are higher than man's" "there is no such thing as fair with God" "he is HOLY" "it's for the glory of God and his sheep" and "you are clay talking back to the potter". Their veneration of Augustine sickens me too. They PICK AND CHOOSE the things they believe he taught right, like double predestination and ET, and yet reject all of his Catholic heresies, like purgatory for sinners in communion with the Church, free will, justifying Christians waging war, and venerating Mary as "Holy Mother of God".

Matthew 7:16-20 King James Version (KJV)
16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?

17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.

18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.

19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.

20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

My mother, who is a Calvinist through and through, will talk about how great it is that God has chosen to have mercy on a small few, but tends to avoid talking about the other side of the coin: SOVEREIGN REPROBATION. The elect are "children of God" and the rest are "children of the Devil". They are appointed to ETERNAL WRATH. She said God does not create evil. Satan cannot create himself, and neither can man. If man could create Satan, A SPIRIT, wouldn't MAN be God? Look at the scriptures here, quoted straight from the traditional Calvinist idol of a translation, the 1611 King James Bible:

Genesis 3:1
Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

It says God made the serpent. OK, but then there's the argument that Satan was not the serpent, he only spoke through a physical serpent. What about this one:

Revelation 12:9
And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.

That old serpent called the Devil and Satan. Straight from the horse's mouth.

I have an infallible fear that ET is a harsh but undeniable truth. Behold, one verse that will always torment me for the rest of my entire life on this earth:

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.

Could it be Satan's spirit in me that is making me resist the hard truth? I feel as if there is a burning hatred in me for these Calvinists, I don't know if it's my feelings for the worldly people, or if it really just is what Jesus said. He did tell us to LOVE these people, right? I have this feeling that I may be on the road to blaspheming the Holy Spirit for denying Calvinism, but I am not like a Pharisee. A Pharisee does not have any compassion or forgiveness in their heart. There hearts were cold and hard like stone. Whereas mine I feel is truly a warm, soft, compassionate heart who has agape love for every soul, more than what the monster called the God of Calvinism who created them to torture. If he is our true Creator, there is only one thing I will praise him for: my love for the poor souls he created just to deem worthless to him. To quote Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn, "Alright then, I'll go to hell."

Hi Josh, there is no doubt in my mind that God will ultimately save everyone.  Consider Moses for a moment:

Exo 32:32  Yet now, if thou wilt forgive their sin; and if not, blot me, I pray thee, out of thy book which thou hast written. 
Exo 32:33  And the LORD said unto Moses, Whosoever hath sinned against me, him will I blot out of my book. 

Moses would have rather been blotted out of the book of life rather then be a part of plan to not remove sin from sinners.

We know that Moses carried forward obviously coming to the understanding that God would eventually save everyone..

The thing to remember is that God is Responsible for our sins but holds us accountable.  Why? - because our conscience still bears witness that we sinned.

Rom 8:18  For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. 
Rom 8:19  For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God. 
Rom 8:20  For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope, 
Rom 8:21  Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. 

What many don't realize is that only a few are being CHOSEN in this present dispensation.  This becomes clear if you understand the Old Testament.  Remember Moses asked who was with God and the Levites were then CHOSEN.

Exo 32:26  Then Moses stood in the gate of the camp, and said, Who is on the LORD'S side? let him come unto me. And all the sons of Levi gathered themselves together unto him. 
Exo 32:27  And he said unto them, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from gate to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbour. 
Exo 32:28  And the children of Levi did according to the word of Moses: and there fell of the people that day about three thousand men. 
Exo 32:29  For Moses had said, Consecrate yourselves to day to the LORD, even every man upon his son, and upon his brother; that he may bestow upon you a blessing this day. 

You see the same thing is happening now.  Those CHOSEN now will be Priests ruling with Christ at His Coming and will be atoning for the sins of the rest of the congregation (rest of humanity).

All will be saved in due time.

[marie glen]

I read that book back in the early 80"s.Helped me,too!God uses positive and satan provides the negative..for every 'thought'placed in our minds.subjecting every thought

unto Christ. GOD IS LOVE=thought/mindof Christ....ET -God will torture eternally=satan's thought/serpents-head... accusing,blaspheming God's name.

the battle of the mind...lies vs truth..blind unbelief vs light/faith. :HeartThrob:

Amen.. slandering God.. "slander, blaspheme, insult.." all included in one in the greek but I don't remember what word or verse.. amen, hell = satan's fantasy, daydream..
    :thumbsup: :Peace2:

[marie glen]

Amen.. that Calvinist spirit (sentiment, attitude) is so cold.. gray and cold.. stormy even.. ( :laughing7: an exagerration? but true nevertheless?) But definitely cold... so very cold..

I've been hanging out on youtube a little, and I've learned that an exec from the big G.. not God! But he created what he calls a church of aye eye (yes, I'm actually sort of paranoid and don't want the bots to bury tentmaker) - anyway he's gathering folks to help him create a super aye eye, going to create an aye eye god.. (well, now I understand the whole idea behind the idol and idol worship. It's actually fascinating stuff, being used medically via ch!ps..

All these things show me how serious the adversary is.. (and how the ppl are lambs)

Okay.. I just wanted, if there's a reason to be paranoid, it's not about ET, that's just a dream of the adversary's which with the splitting of the atom will be as close as it gets.. until the adversary goes to the lake of fire (fiery crucible, of refinement and abolishment/second death) the lake "made for the devil and his angels" - if it's made for the devil and his angels, what really makes us think any ppl will end up there? Surely - imo - by end of Judgment 'Day' all names will be in His Book of Life?

Psalm 22 -

27 All the ends of the world shall remember and turn unto the Lord: and all the kindreds/families :banana: of the nations shall worship before thee.

28 For the kingdom is the Lord's: and he is the governor among the nations.

29 All they that be fat upon earth shall eat and worship: all they that go down to the dust shall bow before him: and none can keep alive his own soul. (no inherent immortality, no need for a place for any so called unrepentant souls - "I will draw all to Me" Jesus said, Jn 12:32)

~ 27 All the ends of the world shall remember and turn unto the Lord: and all the kindreds/families :banana: of the nations shall worship before thee.

So many are reading His Word(s) through two false prisms! 'forever' and the other, which doesn't even deserve to be named..

http://biblehub.com/revelation/20-14.htm -

American King James Version
And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death.

Young's Literal Translation
and the death and the hades were cast to the lake of the fire -- this is the second death

Berean Literal Bible
And death and Hades were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire.

God bless you! The Heavenly Father and the Lord Jesus LOVES :HeartThrob: you! "God is love" and "love never fails"

[Josh Crowell]

Things have been getting worse lately. I have been having constant obsessive thoughts about God and about Hell. Some of the things I have read before on various theology sites have been constantly coming back in my head, some of the things my mother has told me, I just keep hearing these things in my head, and they won't go away. There is absolutely no happiness, no good feelings, nothing at all. At times I've felt like I should just give in and accept most people are going to burn. I keep getting very sinful thoughts in my head as well, and I start to believe that I really do deserve Hell. I have also felt emotionally numb, like I don't care about anything or what happens to anyone anymore. At times I feel like this is a spiritual thing, as if God is supernaturally implanting these thoughts into my mind to turn me over. I cannot accept a God who created us just to dangle us over Hell for the sake of his own selfish glory and the glory of the few he spared. I have also felt like God might be giving me over to reprobation due to my constant rejecting of ET.

At times I've also felt tempted to believe in Arminianism. That doesn't make me feel any better than Calvinism, because the Arminian God really doesn't care whether you burn or not. My mother seems to be showing a hint of Arminianism as well. She now believes that Satan is not a literal angel fallen from heaven, but rather a metaphor for the spirit of disobedience within man himself. She says that God gave Adam and Eve a choice to either worship him or disobey him and end up in hell, yet she still believes God chooses who will be saved.

I have been taking antidepressant medications since last year. Recently I have been weaning off Zoloft and will soon start taking Prozac. I don't know if those medications are screwing with my mind and making these thoughts worse, but I've heard scary things about them, like influencing mass shootings and suicides. Perhaps I was better off not taking them at all.

Maybe I should spend more time reading the Bible for my self. I don't even feel any motivation to do so. To make matters worse, I have been out of school for over a year now, and I am unemployed. I also have a stepfather who constantly argues with my mother over this very thing. I want out of this crazy house I am in. I feel bad because my mother genuinely loves me and cares about me, but her Calvinist beliefs are doing me more harm than good.

[MusicLover123]

1 John 1:4
18fear is not in the love, but the perfect love doth cast out the fear, because the fear hath punishment, and he who is fearing hath not been made perfect in the love;

1 Cor 11:32
32and being judged by the Lord, we are chastened, that with the world we may not be condemned;

1 Cor 13
1If with the tongues of men and of messengers I speak, and have not love, I have become brass sounding, or a cymbal tinkling;

2and if I have prophecy, and know all the secrets, and all the knowledge, and if I have all the faith, so as to remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing;

3and if I give away to feed others all my goods, and if I give up my body that I may be burned, and have not love, I am profited nothing.

4The love is long-suffering, it is kind, the love doth not envy, the love doth not vaunt itself, is not puffed up,

5doth not act unseemly, doth not seek its own things, is not provoked, doth not impute evil,

6rejoiceth not over the unrighteousness, and rejoiceth with the truth;

7all things it beareth, all it believeth, all it hopeth, all it endureth.

8The love doth never fail; and whether [there be] prophecies, they shall become useless; whether tongues, they shall cease; whether knowledge, it shall become useless;

9for in part we know, and in part we prophecy;

10and when that which is perfect may come, then that which [is] in part shall become useless.

11When I was a babe, as a babe I was speaking, as a babe I was thinking, as a babe I was reasoning, and when I have become a man, I have made useless the things of the babe;

12for we see now through a mirror obscurely, and then face to face; now I know in part, and then I shall fully know, as also I was known;

13and now there doth remain faith, hope, love--these three; and the greatest of these [is] love.

Isaiah 1:27
27Zion in judgment is redeemed, And her captivity in righteousness.

These are just a couple examples, but, do any of these support the doctrine of hell? Or even eternal death?

I find both Calvinism and Arminianism are false doctrines. Calvinism makes God a hypocrite and unloving, and Arminianism makes God powerless and turns Children of God into Parents of God. One has God's sovereignty, the other has God's Love. Lets go to Scripture to put them together.

Trust in God, and cast your doubt's and fears in Him. He never fails, and will unveil these things to you. It is not a matter of if, but a matter of when.

Blessings

[Ross]

NOTHING can keep us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord