How God parents?

[GodIsLove]

Recently, I got some advice that has been really effective with my two young kids. My husband and I have started to praise the kids when they do what we'd like them to do, and mostly ignore their misbehavior. We had already spoken to them about what we want them to do and what is unacceptable many times, but we were still continually correcting them and dealing with power struggles and getting frustrated.

This has transformed our family and it seems so simple now, but it actually took some mental shifting. So if the kids were arguing (as long as they weren't hitting or throwing things) we'd ignore them and a few minutes later when they were playing nicely we'd notice and say "hey, your brother is being so nice to give you that toy! You guys are having so much fun together! How great!" Or at the dinner table something like "look how nicely you are sitting!" Versus in the past when we'd remind them every time they stood up to sit down while eating.

Much of their "bad" behavior decreased drastically...and with some gentle and short time outs it's really infrequent now. And they try to please us and be kind to eachother much more frequently.

The natural consequences of bad behavior also seems to be sinking in (such as if I am mean spirited or selfish the other child will cry and no one will play with me or give me attention).

God, while we are on earth anyway, seems to let the bad behavior go unpunished. But we all know that sin is eventually self destructive if no one intervenes.

God doesn't nag us or continually remind us of what we should and shouldn't do. He seems to be using experience as a teacher, and mostly remaining silent.

But on the other hand, God doesn't seem to ignore those who seek him wholeheartedly--many of us have had moments of feeling his love or hearing the Holy Spirit answer us or guide us. He sent the HS as our guide and comforter. So when we respond to God, he responds to us and so on. When we do not, he lets us hit rock bottom like the prodigal son,from our perspective ignoring us for a time but awaiting our return.

Thoughts?

[Dandelion]

I am a Special Education teacher. What you mentioned are some of the basic principals of what we call, Behavior Modification. It is very effective. I raised my own children on its principles.

Part of the system, though, if the behaviors are dangerous to themselves or others, or very disruptive, a behavior plan is set up, with specific negative and positive reinforcements, for very specific behaviors. Punishment is almost never or never used, as it is not considered effective, because it often will trigger emotions which complicate the issues.

D.

Just wanted to add, that I did my best to raise them as Christians.

The behavior mod was just one possible earthly assist.

D.

[marie glen]

Amen.. I think you are very much onto something! I even think of what's so often called God's anger, or (gulp) wrath, as simple results and consequences.. even the 'last' days what's called "day of the LORD" (which is the precursor to Jesus' return) I think of as the natural results of what mankind has done.

Of course, when our son got to be a little bit older, he began to be a bit of a bully. He was the biggest, the loudest, and often the smartest and quickest. He could get his way one way or another. He could terrify the children smaller than him. (Eek, he's a wonderfully caring man now, though!) Of course some intervention in that case was required. All too often it seems easier to simply let things go. And my hat is off to parents who do guide and discipline/disciple their children as to how to be good humans. And I'm not one to assume if a parent spanked their child once or twice in their upbringing, that they were prone to beating their children. I'd rather see one or two spankings given than so many gangsta's roaming the streets of the cities. Which also is not a good or happy life to lead. And, although I think most judgment is consequences, some I think is indeed punishment. When Israel offered their sons and daughters as sacrifices to other 'gods', that seems to me like it was a last straw with God (Ps 106:32-37). (I think we are all pretty safe from that however!)

Off topic - a disturbing thing I've noticed.. these days the kids are yelling at the parents! from preteen to in their 30's! :faint:

[DanielB]

I am not a parent but I watched this and I think I would at least try the methods talked about in the video if I was. It does seem like how God parents. :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRhK1vdlysE