How do I teach my children as a parent?

[Truth seeker]

...i think of the world wide web as an open door for the gospel, especially for U.R. (not so easy to stone us! :laughing7: ) but it also can be a 'black hole' sucking the life out of life.. :eek:

...when we teach children, anything we teach them with affection takes hold (imo).. one thing I told my kids and now tell my grand kids.. the t.v. the computer, the advertisers, etc.. they don't love you. Your parents, your grand parents do love you and care what you and your life will be.. The advertisers, etc, do not.
:Peace2: :smile:

this is a good lesson I do try to teach them this. its not easy in our techno driven world but they have good hearts and I see they have great love inside of them and understand what im saying to them. :HeartThrob:

[Caffus]

I think its true..children listen to fathers more than mothers...my husband isnt a Christian..although he claims to be..he dosnt love God...he says he fears Him. He dosnt believe he is loved. My husband has no real love in his heart. So he is hurting and we all are. I can only pray for him and my kids and pray to be an example of Gods love.

[tm55]

Thanks everybody for your thoughtful answers.

My situation:
1. father of 2 older teens
2. The whole family attends a grace-emphasized, rarely-speak-about-Hell (relatively) good church.
3. The kids are benefiting immensely from the church's youth group.
4. My kids have probably rarely if ever thought about Hell.

Based on the above, I've decided, for better or worse, to not explain my UR beliefs to them yet (except for a few hints here and there).  Reason:  I'm afraid if my kids learn what their fellow churchgoers really believe about Hell, that they would at least be shocked and possibly traumatized, and would never want to set foot in church again.  Again, in my case, that would be bad, since they're benefiting hugely from the church's youth group and are growing in their faith.

When I sense that my kids really need to know about UR, I will tell them then.

I hope this is helpful to somebody.

[Ross]

 :thumbsup:
Each in their appointed time.
Christ told the disciples not to think about what to say, but be led in the spirit with the words being put through their mouth.
I.M.O we see things going on in our kids, but we are not in their minds to fully grasp their line of thought. Can be close at times, yet never 100% right on the money.
Christ confounded the Pharisees and scribes because He could actually see beyond the superficial.
So, with our kids, we need to rely on Christ, Who knows them well, to guide our life-style example as well as what to say and when;
IF AT ALL.
Silent witness is powerful.

[Truth seeker]

I think its true..children listen to fathers more than mothers...my husband isnt a Christian..although he claims to be..he dosnt love God...he says he fears Him. He dosnt believe he is loved. My husband has no real love in his heart. So he is hurting and we all are. I can only pray for him and my kids and pray to be an example of Gods love.

:sigh: so sorry to hear this, will pray for you all. My fathers a bit like that, granted hes been far from perfect but he thinks he is going to hell with no return dispite what I say. In circumstances like this I used to and still sometimes worry but the more I understand the more I see that God wants people like your husband to come to him and he loves him and eveyone else far more than any of us are capable of and so he will find a way to "drag" him up/back or however else he sees fit! keep praying, loving  and keep trusting, God will keep his word. :dsunny:

[Caffus]

I think its true..children listen to fathers more than mothers...my husband isnt a Christian..although he claims to be..he dosnt love God...he says he fears Him. He dosnt believe he is loved. My husband has no real love in his heart. So he is hurting and we all are. I can only pray for him and my kids and pray to be an example of Gods love.

:sigh: so sorry to hear this, will pray for you all. My fathers a bit like that, granted hes been far from perfect but he thinks he is going to hell with no return dispite what I say. In circumstances like this I used to and still sometimes worry but the more I understand the more I see that God wants people like your husband to come to him and he loves him and eveyone else far more than any of us are capable of and so he will find a way to "drag" him up/back or however else he sees fit! keep praying, loving  and keep trusting, God will keep his word. :dsunny:
My husband told me he is going to hell also...it's sad...a self hatred thing, I guess just like when people tell someone else they're going to hell, it's out of hate. But God is love, not hate.

[Truth seeker]

Thanks everybody for your thoughtful answers.

My situation:
1. father of 2 older teens
2. The whole family attends a grace-emphasized, rarely-speak-about-Hell (relatively) good church.
3. The kids are benefiting immensely from the church's youth group.
4. My kids have probably rarely if ever thought about Hell.

Based on the above, I've decided, for better or worse, to not explain my UR beliefs to them yet (except for a few hints here and there).  Reason:  I'm afraid if my kids learn what their fellow churchgoers really believe about Hell, that they would at least be shocked and possibly traumatized, and would never want to set foot in church again.  Again, in my case, that would be bad, since they're benefiting hugely from the church's youth group and are growing in their faith.

When I sense that my kids really need to know about UR, I will tell them then.

I hope this is helpful to somebody.

thanks for your comments!
I do try to avoid the whole hell saga but my eight year old one day said if we accept Jesus what happens to the others! :doh:

Kids are so clever lol. Also many of our family are not christian and I didnt want them discovering via school or if they ever go to church about the doctrine of hell. So I just said they will face some sort of Judgement a bit like getting into a lot of trouble with your dad and having a lot of regret but in the end God will work with them and bring them to heaven too!

Hopefully that will deal with the issue for now :dsunny:

[Truth seeker]

:thumbsup:
Each in their appointed time.
Christ told the disciples not to think about what to say, but be led in the spirit with the words being put through their mouth.
I.M.O we see things going on in our kids, but we are not in their minds to fully grasp their line of thought. Can be close at times, yet never 100% right on the money.
Christ confounded the Pharisees and scribes because He could actually see beyond the superficial.
So, with our kids, we need to rely on Christ, Who knows them well, to guide our life-style example as well as what to say and when;
IF AT ALL.
Silent witness is powerful.

:iagree: I think its hard sometimes when we/I worry about things to be a silent witness but this is where my trust in Christ needs to grow. I know he will guide them and maybe he is even working through me with them. My older daughter last night asked me if im coming up to say a prayer before bed. Now the mrs says shes just playing for time but what ever the reason I would never refuse. I hope a seed has been planted! :dsunny:

[Ross]

:iagree: I think its hard sometimes when we/I worry about things to be a silent witness but this is where my trust in Christ needs to grow. I know he will guide them and maybe he is even working through me with them. My older daughter last night asked me if im coming up to say a prayer before bed. Now the mrs says shes just playing for time but what ever the reason I would never refuse. I hope a seed has been planted! :dsunny:

Spending time with the kids is utmost importance- how else can you share with them? Plus they learn they can come to you ANY time.
Reflection on today's approach of society is everyone is so busy they do not have deep meaningful conversations. Facebook, twitter commendable in some respects. However seems to give illusion of sharing, but I.M.O speaks volumes of the emptiness many have so they pour out on-line searching for contact.
When my kids were growing up my wife and I always made sure we tucked them in and one of us would read a story. One on one.
There were some tough experiences as they went through teenage years. I always remember thinking that I had been there, done that, so would not condemn them but rather attempt to point things out. Still had boundaries, yet not inflexible if logical reasoning presented alternative methods.
Now the kids are grown up they have comparisons happening with their workmates philosophies which re-enforce we weren't so bad.
All a long term project really which hints at the long term object of our Father Who exceeds our earthly dads.

[Truth seeker]

:iagree: I think its hard sometimes when we/I worry about things to be a silent witness but this is where my trust in Christ needs to grow. I know he will guide them and maybe he is even working through me with them. My older daughter last night asked me if im coming up to say a prayer before bed. Now the mrs says shes just playing for time but what ever the reason I would never refuse. I hope a seed has been planted! :dsunny:

Spending time with the kids is utmost importance- how else can you share with them? Plus they learn they can come to you ANY time.
Reflection on today's approach of society is everyone is so busy they do not have deep meaningful conversations. Facebook, twitter commendable in some respects. However seems to give illusion of sharing, but I.M.O speaks volumes of the emptiness many have so they pour out on-line searching for contact.
When my kids were growing up my wife and I always made sure we tucked them in and one of us would read a story. One on one.
There were some tough experiences as they went through teenage years. I always remember thinking that I had been there, done that, so would not condemn them but rather attempt to point things out. Still had boundaries, yet not inflexible if logical reasoning presented alternative methods.
Now the kids are grown up they have comparisons happening with their workmates philosophies which re-enforce we weren't so bad.
All a long term project really which hints at the long term object of our Father Who exceeds our earthly dads.

:iagree: thanks Ross this is great! :gimmefive: I think facebook and similar accounts can suck you in I know it happens to me! Im happy im aware of it so I tend to pull myself away now from it.  I have the teenage years soon approaching yay :laughing7: feel like im sometimes already there!. I think similar to yourself here and hope they will see that and always feel they can come to us at anytime with any issue. :dsunny:

[Ross]

I think similar to yourself here and hope they will see that and always feel they can come to us at anytime with any issue. :dsunny:

Teenage years- many changes brewing.
All the physical demands on the body are draining. Then chuck in the mental expansion going so quick it is hard to keep up with. Mix in the total change of activities available with the peers.
In all of these changes they have to see what is the under-lying stability, otherwise there are huge demands stimulating failure and depression to the max.
I am increasingly loving the Aesop fable statement in regard to the hare and the tortoise;
    " Slow and steady wins the race."
Christ is our stability beyond measure.

[eaglesway]

I.M.O we teach our children by being a living, loving example. Demonstration of how you are handling situations is a silent witness. A picture paints a thousand words, so this witness does influence our children considerably.
Add in the security of a position which can not be removed by some mistake they have made, and this all builds indescribable bonding.

At their appointed time God will reveal to them just like He did for you.

:thumbsup:

[Cardinal]

 :cloud9: I guess I could share what He first told me when I came to Him. I asked Him about hell, and He said that it just meant separation from Him, and that billions of people were separated from Him, walking on the earth. The Word says we are separated from Him in our minds. My  :2c:....blessings...

[lastpost]

I asked Him about hell, and He said that it just meant separation from Him

To me, there are many separated from God in heart and mind and soul whether I see them or whether I don't.

I personally understand the work of Christ to be from within as well as without.

When I was a child I saw Christ outside, separate, as Jesus of Nazareth - then He came as close as breath as the Christ Spirit - then He was known within, removing the god of this world from his throne, Christ fighting the rules the world had set up.

Like the outermost part of creation, say a leaf, becomes what it is, because of the sap of life within – not two distinct entities, except in the eyes of the world.

The leaf draws from this Life, this sap, and becomes One with it – not separate from it, no, not even joined to it, no, but One with it in the eyes of the Spirit.

There is One God. There is One Christ. Christ is in the Father. I and the Father are One. Christ is in each of the Race of humanity. Christ lifts up the Race and draws it all to Him. Everything I have is Yours, and everything You have is Mine, and I have been glorified in them.

This whole creation is becoming One – it is becoming All-in-All. This life proves it, the transformation is seen through the eyes of faith.

I see ever more so that what is hidden now is to prove faith, that through faith the will is given over and is blended with the Christ-will within – the keys are given through faith, death is no more. All should rejoice.

I rejoice that the happiness of Christ is not the happiness of the world, rejoice that love is scorching and joy intermingled, combined, One, or else it is passing emptiness, rejoice that He is giving Himself to us – that He has made it possible and that He will never stop, He will never take Himself away.

It is only we who make it seem so by causing separation. It is a beautiful and simple thing – it is everything worth having. No longer separate. It is real because of faith.