Some really funny quotes in films

Started by Eduard, July 10, 2013, 01:52:17 AM

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Eduard

July 10, 2013, 01:52:17 AM
<< Well the Pope may be French, but Jesus is English! >>

- A Knight's Tale

<< Please God don't let me fall in love and want to do disgusting things... Dear God, I love the way he throws. >>

- Mermaids

<< James T. Kirk: Physician, heal thyself.
Leonard McCoy: Is that all you've got to say? What about my performance?
James T. Kirk: I'm not a drama critic! >>

- Star Trek II: the Wrath of Khan

Micah 7:7

But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.

John 15:5

I am the vine. You are the branches. He who remains in me, and I in him, the same bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

Lazarus Short

#1
July 10, 2013, 02:21:36 AM
There are actually some very fascinating traditions that Jesus traveled with His great-uncle Joseph (of Arimathea) to Cornwall, where Joseph operated tin mines.  Christianity arrived on those shores very shortly after Jesus' death, and Rome was actually converted from Britain, not the other way around (if you know who's who in the Epistle to the Romans).
Socrates taught Plato.  Plato taught Aristotle.  Aristotle tutored the son of Philip of Macedon.  This boy grew up to become Alexander the Great, largely by slaughtering a lot of people.  That's philosophy.

Jesus spoke the Truth.  He blessed the poor.  He healed the sick.  He even raised the dead.  He died on a cross for us, lived again, and came back long enough to tell us to love one another.  That's religion.

YHVH = Behold the Nail, Behold the Hand = Jesus

Eduard

#2
July 10, 2013, 02:53:29 AM
England and Ireland have been important lands for Christianity for centuries.


But no, Jesus is not English.  :laughing7:


He is more, he is the last Adam.


Micah 7:7

But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.

John 15:5

I am the vine. You are the branches. He who remains in me, and I in him, the same bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

Lazarus Short

#3
July 10, 2013, 05:44:40 AM
No, Jesus is not English, but I was just saying that He may have visited the Isles...

Everyone has a theory about where He was during His lost years, as Tibet, India, Japan, etc.  I think He was in Parthia long enough to have made a friend and convert of king Abgar, who was set to go to war with Rome over His crucifixion.  Anyway, I didn't mean to derail your thread, Eduard, but the quote about Jesus being English (The English should be so lucky, but the land was still Britain when Christianity arrived.) got my mind to making connections, as it ever does...

How about this, from Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

"Of course I am French!  How do you think I got this outrrrrrrrrageous accent? ... Go away now, English pig-dog, or I shall taunt you a second time!  Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
Socrates taught Plato.  Plato taught Aristotle.  Aristotle tutored the son of Philip of Macedon.  This boy grew up to become Alexander the Great, largely by slaughtering a lot of people.  That's philosophy.

Jesus spoke the Truth.  He blessed the poor.  He healed the sick.  He even raised the dead.  He died on a cross for us, lived again, and came back long enough to tell us to love one another.  That's religion.

YHVH = Behold the Nail, Behold the Hand = Jesus

Eduard

#4
July 10, 2013, 06:51:37 AM
Nice one.


Another one from Mermaids:


" Why did you think you were pregnant? You're still a virgin. "
Micah 7:7

But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.

John 15:5

I am the vine. You are the branches. He who remains in me, and I in him, the same bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

Warhawk17

#5
July 10, 2013, 08:05:24 AM
"Don't have sex because you will get pregnant and die."

-Mean Girls

Wow, I can't believe I quoted Mean Girls on this forum. Lol please don't judge me for being able to quote a chick flick  :Pray: That line gets me every time though.

Warhawk17

#6
July 10, 2013, 08:07:09 AM
Quote from: Eduard on July 10, 2013, 02:53:29 AM
England and Ireland have been important lands for Christianity for centuries.


But no, Jesus is not English.  :laughing7:


He is more, he is the last Adam.

Everybody knows that Jesus is American! Lol sadly there are a lot of people who actually think he is.

Eduard

#7
July 10, 2013, 01:29:58 PM
Most of the founding fathers were Deists, including Thomas Jefferson.
Micah 7:7

But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.

John 15:5

I am the vine. You are the branches. He who remains in me, and I in him, the same bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

jbertonbounds

#8
July 10, 2013, 05:53:26 PM
Quote from: Warhawk17 on July 10, 2013, 08:05:24 AM
"Don't have sex because you will get pregnant and die."

-Mean Girls

Wow, I can't believe I quoted Mean Girls on this forum. Lol please don't judge me for being able to quote a chick flick  :Pray: That line gets me every time though.

I can't believe you watched Mean Girls! :laugh:

jbertonbounds

#9
July 10, 2013, 06:00:56 PM
Funny line (no spiritual connection whatsoever):
Gilligan's Island:
Their well runs dry.  Gilligan is digging a new one.  He gets carried away and is throwing the dirt behind him, into the air.  Mr Howell walks right into the flying dirt and says, "Good heavens, it's so dry it's raining dirt!" :LH:

And yes, believe it or not, I used to watch GI.
I saw every episode at least five times!
And I'm not ashamed!  :laughing7:

Lazarus Short

#10
July 10, 2013, 06:58:33 PM
In an episode of Babylon 5, some people appear from the past through some kind of time warp (if I remember it correctly).  One of them meets the Narn ambassador G'Kar, who tells her, "You should go back where you came from - the future isn't what it used to be!"
Socrates taught Plato.  Plato taught Aristotle.  Aristotle tutored the son of Philip of Macedon.  This boy grew up to become Alexander the Great, largely by slaughtering a lot of people.  That's philosophy.

Jesus spoke the Truth.  He blessed the poor.  He healed the sick.  He even raised the dead.  He died on a cross for us, lived again, and came back long enough to tell us to love one another.  That's religion.

YHVH = Behold the Nail, Behold the Hand = Jesus

lomarah

#11
July 10, 2013, 08:28:53 PM
Oh Laz I LOVE that clip from Monty Python hahaha. I was watching it over and over again on youtube the other night laughing my arse off. My dad has a t-shirt that says "I fart in your general direction!"  :laughing7:

Lazarus Short

#12
July 10, 2013, 10:49:41 PM
From Patch Adams:

"Donner, party of fifty?!  Your table is ready!"
Socrates taught Plato.  Plato taught Aristotle.  Aristotle tutored the son of Philip of Macedon.  This boy grew up to become Alexander the Great, largely by slaughtering a lot of people.  That's philosophy.

Jesus spoke the Truth.  He blessed the poor.  He healed the sick.  He even raised the dead.  He died on a cross for us, lived again, and came back long enough to tell us to love one another.  That's religion.

YHVH = Behold the Nail, Behold the Hand = Jesus

Lazarus Short

#13
July 10, 2013, 10:51:16 PM
Quote from: Eduard on July 10, 2013, 01:29:58 PM
Most of the founding fathers were Deists, including Thomas Jefferson.

It's good you know that - a LOT of us 'Mericans don't...
Socrates taught Plato.  Plato taught Aristotle.  Aristotle tutored the son of Philip of Macedon.  This boy grew up to become Alexander the Great, largely by slaughtering a lot of people.  That's philosophy.

Jesus spoke the Truth.  He blessed the poor.  He healed the sick.  He even raised the dead.  He died on a cross for us, lived again, and came back long enough to tell us to love one another.  That's religion.

YHVH = Behold the Nail, Behold the Hand = Jesus

Warhawk17

#14
July 10, 2013, 11:00:24 PM
Quote from: jbertonbounds on July 10, 2013, 05:53:26 PM
Quote from: Warhawk17 on July 10, 2013, 08:05:24 AM
"Don't have sex because you will get pregnant and die."

-Mean Girls

Wow, I can't believe I quoted Mean Girls on this forum. Lol please don't judge me for being able to quote a chick flick  :Pray: That line gets me every time though.

I can't believe you watched Mean Girls! :laugh:

Well I grew up with 3 sisters so there was really no way for me to get around watching chick flicks every now and then lol. And if you're dating a girl in high school and college, you're going to have to suck it up and watch those movies every now and then. I can't tell you how many times I have walked into a room with Pitch Perfect on in the last year lol. Believe me though, I have watched much much worse than those two.

Lazarus Short

#15
July 11, 2013, 06:30:11 AM
From A River Runs Through It:

"A Methodist is just a Baptist who can read."
Socrates taught Plato.  Plato taught Aristotle.  Aristotle tutored the son of Philip of Macedon.  This boy grew up to become Alexander the Great, largely by slaughtering a lot of people.  That's philosophy.

Jesus spoke the Truth.  He blessed the poor.  He healed the sick.  He even raised the dead.  He died on a cross for us, lived again, and came back long enough to tell us to love one another.  That's religion.

YHVH = Behold the Nail, Behold the Hand = Jesus

jbertonbounds

#16
July 11, 2013, 07:09:41 PM
Quote from: Warhawk17 on July 10, 2013, 11:00:24 PM
Well I grew up with 3 sisters so there was really no way for me to get around watching chick flicks every now and then lol. And if you're dating a girl in high school and college, you're going to have to suck it up and watch those movies every now and then. I can't tell you how many times I have walked into a room with Pitch Perfect on in the last year lol. Believe me though, I have watched much much worse than those two.

Oooh!  I'm not sure what would be worse, growing up with 3 sisters, or 3 brothers! :eek:

Eduard

#17
July 11, 2013, 08:23:32 PM
I'm an only child. I wish I had siblings...
Micah 7:7

But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.

John 15:5

I am the vine. You are the branches. He who remains in me, and I in him, the same bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

jbertonbounds

#18
July 11, 2013, 11:24:33 PM
Be careful what you wish for! :laugh:

Warhawk17

#19
July 12, 2013, 12:55:49 AM
Quote from: jbertonbounds on July 11, 2013, 07:09:41 PM
Quote from: Warhawk17 on July 10, 2013, 11:00:24 PM
Well I grew up with 3 sisters so there was really no way for me to get around watching chick flicks every now and then lol. And if you're dating a girl in high school and college, you're going to have to suck it up and watch those movies every now and then. I can't tell you how many times I have walked into a room with Pitch Perfect on in the last year lol. Believe me though, I have watched much much worse than those two.

Oooh!  I'm not sure what would be worse, growing up with 3 sisters, or 3 brothers! :eek:

I had fun with my sisters growing up, but I wish one of those sisters could have been a brother. I think 2 girls and 2 boys would have been a good mix in our household. Luckily my dad was always a very hands-on and would be there for me to do guy stuff.

Warhawk17

#20
July 12, 2013, 01:05:31 AM
Quote from: Lazarus Short on July 10, 2013, 10:51:16 PM
Quote from: Eduard on July 10, 2013, 01:29:58 PM
Most of the founding fathers were Deists, including Thomas Jefferson.

It's good you know that - a LOT of us 'Mericans don't...

I think a lot of them were fairly quiet on their views about religion too. I'm not sure exactly of what faith the other founding fathers were, but I remember from US History that Jefferson was a Deist. I think their view in general was that faith and religion should be personal to the individual and that it shouldn't cross with politics. They were not these Bible thumping fundies trying to form a Christian theocracy like many fundies believe today.

Lazarus Short

#21
July 12, 2013, 02:24:53 AM
Quote from: Warhawk17 on July 12, 2013, 01:05:31 AM
Quote from: Lazarus Short on July 10, 2013, 10:51:16 PM
Quote from: Eduard on July 10, 2013, 01:29:58 PM
Most of the founding fathers were Deists, including Thomas Jefferson.

It's good you know that - a LOT of us 'Mericans don't...

I think a lot of them were fairly quiet on their views about religion too. I'm not sure exactly of what faith the other founding fathers were, but I remember from US History that Jefferson was a Deist. I think their view in general was that faith and religion should be personal to the individual and that it shouldn't cross with politics. They were not these Bible thumping fundies trying to form a Christian theocracy like many fundies believe today.

Saying that the United States were founded by Deists is actually a bit off the mark, although true as far as it goes.  If you dig deeper you will find that 'Merica was founded and prodded along by the Freemasons, and there was a Jesuit connection in there too.
Socrates taught Plato.  Plato taught Aristotle.  Aristotle tutored the son of Philip of Macedon.  This boy grew up to become Alexander the Great, largely by slaughtering a lot of people.  That's philosophy.

Jesus spoke the Truth.  He blessed the poor.  He healed the sick.  He even raised the dead.  He died on a cross for us, lived again, and came back long enough to tell us to love one another.  That's religion.

YHVH = Behold the Nail, Behold the Hand = Jesus

Warhawk17

#22
July 12, 2013, 03:42:21 AM
Quote from: Lazarus Short on July 12, 2013, 02:24:53 AM
Quote from: Warhawk17 on July 12, 2013, 01:05:31 AM
Quote from: Lazarus Short on July 10, 2013, 10:51:16 PM
Quote from: Eduard on July 10, 2013, 01:29:58 PM
Most of the founding fathers were Deists, including Thomas Jefferson.

It's good you know that - a LOT of us 'Mericans don't...

I think a lot of them were fairly quiet on their views about religion too. I'm not sure exactly of what faith the other founding fathers were, but I remember from US History that Jefferson was a Deist. I think their view in general was that faith and religion should be personal to the individual and that it shouldn't cross with politics. They were not these Bible thumping fundies trying to form a Christian theocracy like many fundies believe today.

Saying that the United States were founded by Deists is actually a bit off the mark, although true as far as it goes.  If you dig deeper you will find that 'Merica was founded and prodded along by the Freemasons, and there was a Jesuit connection in there too.

Interestingly enough, a show came on tonight on public television called Restoring America, where some doctor argued that the nation was founded on Christian values. I had to go do something so I didn't get to watch the entire thing, but the guy made a good case for it with quotes from George Washington, Patrick Henry, and others. I will have to look into it more.
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