Funny Bible Verses

[Warhawk17]

I'll start with my favorite one.

A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands. Proverbs 27:15-16

[Warhawk17]

If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse. Proverbs 27:14

Lol being a total night owl and not really a morning person, I can relate to this one.

[Warhawk17]

As he was walking along the road some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. – 2 Kings 2:23-24

Lol that's what you get for making fun of the bald guy. If I'm ever bald someday and some punk makes fun of me, I should try this. :laugh: I'd like to know which verses you guys are humored by.

[sheila]

Re pRVRBS 27;14  i SAW THAT ONE LITERALLY FULFILLED!!!!!  mY BEST FREIND PAM..WAS SEEING A GUY..

WHO WOULD STAND ON STREET CORNERS WITH HOME-MADE SIGNS...HE STARTED EACH DAY BY GOING OUT

IN HIS YARD AND LOUDLY CALLING OUT BLESSINGS.  THE POLICE WERE CALLED ON HIM FOR DISTURBING

THE PEACE.  WHEN THIS HAPPENED,PAM..WENT TO THE BIBLE THAT DAY..AND OPENED IT TO THIS VERY

SCRIPTURE. SHE WAS REALLY SURPRISED,AS SHE DID NOT KNOW IT WAS EVEN THERE. :laugh:

[lomarah]

LOL!!!!

I always get a good kick out of when God speaks through Balaam's donkey... HAHAHAHAHA sooooo like Him to do that!!!  :LH:

[sheila]

GAL 5;12  brothers,if i am still preaching circumcision,why am i still being persecuted?...........

   AS FOR THOSE AGITATERS[circumcision  group]  I WISH THEY WOULD GO THE WHOLE WAS AND EMASCULATE

      THEMSELVES!!

   

[rosered]

proverbs 26   NASB
17 Like one who takes a dog by the ears
Is he who passes by and meddles with strife not belonging to him.
   Pick your   fights in other words   with those animal  natured folks  .  you will be chewed up and   spit out  , literally torn apart
  like casting your peals before swine  , they will   turn on you  in an instant  and tear you up !

[lomarah]

LOL!!!!

How about when God is making fun of the Israelites for making and worshipping idols?

Isaiah 44:
12The man shapes iron into a cutting tool and does his work over the coals, fashioning it with hammers and working it with his strong arm. He also gets hungry and his strength fails; he drinks no water and becomes weary.13Another shapes wood, he extends a measuring line; he outlines it with red chalk. He works it with planes and outlines it with a compass, and makes it like the form of a man, like the beauty of man, so that it may sit in a house.14Surely he cuts cedars for himself, and takes a cypress or an oak and raises it for himself among the trees of the forest. He plants a fir, and the rain makes it grow.15Then it becomes something for a man to burn, so he takes one of them and warms himself; he also makes a fire to bake bread. He also makes a god and worships it; he makes it a graven image and falls down before it.16Half of it he burns in the fire; over this half he eats meat as he roasts a roast and is satisfied. He also warms himself and says, "Aha! I am warm, I have seen the fire."17But the rest of it he makes into a god, his graven image. He falls down before it and worships; he also prays to it and says, "Deliver me, for you are my god."

    18They do not know, nor do they understand, for He has smeared over their eyes so that they cannot see and their hearts so that they cannot comprehend.19No one recalls, nor is there knowledge or understanding to say, "I have burned half of it in the fire and also have baked bread over its coals. I roast meat and eat it. Then I make the rest of it into an abomination, I fall down before a block of wood!"20He feeds on ashes; a deceived heart has turned him aside. And he cannot deliver himself, nor say, "Is there not a lie in my right hand?"


Ahhhhh we do stupid things sometimes LOL.

[ded2daworld]

I liked when Sarah was laughing and smirking when the angel told her that she would have a son at age ninety (she was all dried up she thought to her self) not to mention Abraham being 99 and he admitted he was having trouble in that area (my body is as dead) I wished I had had a son cuz I had planned to name him Isaac. Course, if my wife have a son at our age, we won't have any choice :Peace2:

[Warhawk17]

LOL!!!!

I always get a good kick out of when God speaks through Balaam's donkey... HAHAHAHAHA sooooo like Him to do that!!!  :LH:

Haha I find that amusing as well. Making a donkey talk is rather stupid, but the stupidity of God is wiser than human intelligence.

[Warhawk17]

I have heard that Jesus was a funny guy too, but the humor was relative to the age and culture so it kinda got lost in translation. I have also always gotten a kick out of the story where Jesus charges out the money changers from the temple. Humble Jesus just goes in there and starts yelling and overturning tables.

[Warhawk17]

I just love the book of Proverbs!

Proverbs 21:19 It is better to live alone in the desert than with a crabby, complaining wife.  :laugh: