Hope you are all well

[Truthseeker]

Hi, I'm a former member that used the username Shadow, and requested that my account be deleted, I acted hastily and hotheadedly

I apologize to all the people I posted testy responses at and argued with, the thing is I was frustrated, I even found myself on a board for people trying to free themselves from Christianity altogether, but over the last few days something seems to have happened that is drawing me back, I basically outed myself whilst debating a fundamentalist and came to realize that some of what I was reading on here had somehow penetrated

I personally cannot relate to either atheistic or fundamentalist thinking, I find them both faulty and illogical for different reasons, I'm going on a gut feeling that I've had for at least a couple of weeks, although I'm so confused UR's and UU's are the only people who are making any sort of sense at all, and who seem to be on the same wave length as myself

I'm going to do a lot of lurking on the site, and not make many posts, and intend to spend more time really studying UR in detail

Thanks to all who were patient with me, even although I was an absolute vixen at times, I'm so sorry for the way I behaved :dontknow:

BTW the board looks great, it was a bit hard to get that activation code figured out though

To all who still remember me, its great to still see so many familiar names :icon_flower:

Alison

[Beloved Servant]

I pray for your peace.

[Cardinal]

 :cloud9: Hi Shadow.....welcome back and may your heart be satisfied........ :girlheart:

[Beloved Servant]

COME...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qipSRY0ZjSQ&feature=related

[Molly]

wow, Shadow!  WB!

:bgdance:

[thinktank]

Hello, the cat is back!, from the shadows, now searching the truth of light instead of a fight.

Don't worry you still got 8 lives left.

welcome back.

[onlytruth]

good to see you back :icon_king:

[Truthseeker]

Thanks for all the replies all, I must say it's great to be back and see so many replies, I often don't get one for ages, if not at all :HeartThrob:

I think my decision to come back was a good one, I feel better today than I have in a long time

Great to see you all, and TT you're right, I'm fed up fighting and ready to listen :icon_joker:

[Cardinal]

 :cloud9: Say what you will about this board (anyone), but there are people here who really care about one another and realize we truly are family, in the Spirit.  :girlheart:

[jabcat]

 :bigGrin:

[WhiteWings]

 :welcome:  to new and improved Shadow version 2  :thumbsup:

[Lefein]

I would like to apologise Truthseeker, if (and I am sure it did) my argumentativeness with WillieH had caused your earlier decision to leave.

[Truthseeker]

HI WW, great to see you still here

Lefein, no apologies necessary, it was an accumulation of things

I'm going to be frank and honest, I had a vendetta against ET and vehemently fought against it, in my blindness I began to see all forms of Christianity as evil, I wanted to completely cut ties with it as everywhere I went, there was always an ETer around

I'm not proud of the way I behaved, I can be a real shrew sometimes, I even began posting on ex-christian net and on the 7th October I made the magical post that got me the ex-c badge under my username, however, around about that time I got a premonition that both atheism and fundamentalist christianity was wrong, and the feeling has stayed with me since and gotten stronger

As a result of this thinking, I've found myself defending what I perceived to be the lesser of 2 evils, I have disagreed with both fundies and atheists on CD, both have been on the receiving end of my wrath

I disagree with atheists that call people who believe in a Creator as delusional and think they are superior to us fools that believe in God - (Yes this is the part of deconversion I struggled with)

I disagree with fundamentalists that say we are worthless scum with no intrinsic value, that deserve nothing more than ET

However, I just want to clear up any misconceptions people may have about atheists, for the most part they are not bad people with a sinister agenda, they have legitimate issues with Christianity such as an eternal hell, and the problem of evil and suffering, and I have a strong feeling somehow that for a time I needed to be on ex-c as there was someone brutalized by terror based Christianity, a few days ago he was in a bad way so I sent him a PM with information that I thought could help him, luckily I did it on that day as the next day he requested to be banned and his wish was granted

Anyway at some point I found myself at loggerheads with an apologist on ex-c, and 2 days ago I basically outed myself on there, obviously what I was reading must have penetrated somehow as I addressed her the way most URers would, yesterday I was told that I'm falling for a doctrine of demons (no surprises there) so I retorted by saying that most Christians are guilty of the same thing themselves, and if she wanted to take the issue further to do it via PM as the purpose of the site is not for theists to argue amongst themselves

I also saw something equally ridiculous yesterday, that Mary Baxter's book is more important than the bible and is God's new revelation to us

I also saw that if anyone is persecuted, it is the URers that cop it from atheists and Fundamentalists alike, I also realized that I need to spend more time with people I can relate to, instead of being in a position of not entirely agreeing with anyone but defending a what I perceive as the lessor evil, as I've really taken a battering and it's taken a toll on me and I just don't have the energy anymore, this is also the busiest UR board so I can get lots of advice and support, I need it as I've seen things I'd rather never have seen :dontknow:

Card, you are right, the welcome back I've received here has been warmer than I expected, and it means a lot to me :icon_flower:

[Lefein]

God loves a passionate zealot, but is displeased by an extremist (pharisee) :boyheart:

Only the self-confident fool says in his heart, that there is no God.

God restores multiple what we lose for his sake - even ourselves.

And I wanted to share a proverb that I just discovered!

Proverbs 10:12 Hatred, it rouses up quarrels, Yet love covers over all transgressions.

God is Love, even in the Old Testament.  If all transgressions are covered, what transgression is left that requires the sentence of Death?  :dontknow: