Tentmaker Forum

Public Lounge => Humor-Poems-Songs-Movies => Topic started by: GraceFull on August 25, 2007, 07:38:44 PM

Title: Three Holy Men and a Bear
Post by: GraceFull on August 25, 2007, 07:38:44 PM
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
The priest and the reverend both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
Title: Re: Three Holy Men and a Bear
Post by: SeekerSA on August 25, 2007, 08:06:36 PM
 :mrflo: :rolllol:

Thanks, I enjoyed that.
Title: Re: Three Holy Men and a Bear
Post by: Kept on August 25, 2007, 08:24:45 PM
 :mrflo:

kept
Title: Re: Three Holy Men and a Bear
Post by: GG on August 26, 2007, 02:08:46 PM
Bernie, I don't think the bear did!!!!

  GG :icon_flower:
Title: Re: Three Holy Men and a Bear
Post by: gatheredfragments on October 07, 2007, 04:29:35 AM
 :laughing7:

ouch
Title: Re: Three Holy Men and a Bear
Post by: martincisneros on June 21, 2008, 04:56:08 AM
Quote from: GraceFull on August 25, 2007, 07:38:44 PM
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
The priest and the reverend both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."


This illustrates perfectly why the Hosea 2:18 covenant amends the New Covenant and not the Old Covenant.  Imagine trying to circumcise bears, roosters, bulls, roaches, etc.  Talk about making a horse yell it's head off :faint: :bottlebump: