In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you earn points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the point system works.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
* You make the bed (+1)
* You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
* You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
* You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
* You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
* You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
* It's her pet (-20)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
* You stay by her side the entire party (0)
* You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
* Named Tina (-10)
* Tina is a dancer (-20)
* Tina has silicon implants (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
* You take her out to dinner (+2)
* You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
* Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
* And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
* It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
* You take her to a movie (+1)
* You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
* You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
* You take her to a movie you like (-2)
* It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)
* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
* You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
* You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
* You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
* You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
THE BIG QUESTION
* She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
* You hesitate in responding (-10)
* You reply, "Where?" (-35)
* Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
* When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
* You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
* You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
* She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)
:mrflo: :rolllol: :laugh2: :goodpost:
Luved it :laughing7:
I would have thought the silicone implants of Tina sure was worth more/less than -80 :mshock:
Blessings
It's her pet. (-20) :laughing7:
* She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
I loved this. :laughing7:
Quote from: FineLinen on January 27, 2008, 04:45:09 PM
THE BIG QUESTION
* She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
Sometimes when you feel this question is coming, 'cause she's looked in the mirror just a bit too long and she's not fixing her makeup, then if it's your wife or fiance, then a really quick lip lock that makes her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, then you score an extra 200 points. Accidentally call her by the wrong name while you're light headed after that ten minute kiss and you not only lose 2000 points, but you've just gained a stalker that'll arrange for your computer to fork over all of the info about your emails, the sites you've visited, etc. She'll follow you everywhere you go til the day you die, while at the same time she'll probably never speak to you again!
If she
has gained weight, depending on who you're dealing with, you might get away with a pre-emptive observation that she looks like she's been working out 'cause she's looking sooooooooooo gooooooooooood -- the best she's ever looked the whole time you've known her. Although sometimes you'll have a cry on your hands that you never really loved her while she was skinny, that you're going blind, that you're just covering up for an affair that you're having, etc.
ALWAYS USE DISCRETION and lay it on thick, as far as compliments go, with your girlfriend, fiance, or wife. Before you ever get into a fight with her 'cause you were a typical male jerk and opened your mouth and dared to have an opinion, make sure that you're already working on a secret love poem for her. On the other hand, if she finds it and you don't know that she found it, and after she knows about it you still haven't given it to her in much too long, then she's liable to think that you're cheating. Who's he writing that for?? He never writes anything like that for me!! I don't know why he doesn't think I'm beautiful any more. :CryBaby: I've been a good wife! :crywipe: Why is he doing this? :bsad: Who is he serenading instead of me? :Gtantrum:
Saying that she's behaving the way that she is because it's just that time of the month doesn't score any points either. It's the way to lose 5,000 points.
However, flowers, candy, massage, doing the cooking and dishes yourself, gentlemen, taking out the trash without having to be asked, insisting that you're doing absolutely all of the laundry and house cleaning from now on, and after she's gotten up off of the floor, although you will have won 300 thousand points, she'll conclude one of three things:
1. aliens have taken away her true husband and left this creature that looks like her husband that's bent on world domination;
2. that you've turned gay and are about to reveal to her your male lover in the gentlest way possible;
3. that you're too good for her, and she must leave you because she doesn't deserve you. :dontknow:
Just reviewing something that I'd previously said 'cause on matters that aren't the least bit related to convictions we often find ourselves varying in our opinions over a long enough of a period of time. And nope! Still believe what I said on this thread. It's my story and I'm stickin' to it!! :icon_jokercolor:
QuoteBut return with Beer (-5)
:happy3: :laughing7:
i think we all know how that feels, er um the men anyway :mblush:
:winkgrin: :laughing7: :laughing7: :laughing7: :thumbsup:
my husband will get a kick out of this one
i think i may need more smiley icons... i feel limited on my emo's :P
heres ya go J :icon_flower:
some freebies
http://www.tentmaker.org/forum/index.php?board=17.0 :icon_flower:
:icon_flower:
FL is a well respected member at Tent, I gather these are all by experience too ay FL :laughing7:
Rofl! :icon_king:
:icon_flower:
awwwwww ty taffy :HeartThrob: i'll have to check out the smilie sites!!! they look fun :icon_flower: :icon_flower: :icon_flower: