If only.

[jesushandsarekindhands]

A confession from my heart to God, displayed publically to show my disgrace and to make sure God hears it!



Seeking your face was never easy
Who made it so complicated?
You are love,
Is love complicated?

I believed their doctrines, believed ill of you.  YOU God!  I believed in their hell! 
I accepted you lost most of us!  My Jesus! My loving Jesus, the one whom I always trusted, always hoped in...The one whom I admired, whom I smiled at because I saw that he was more like me than the others. 

He hated the hypocricy!
He wept with them and showed compassion.
He saw their sin and died for them.
I gazed upon him and knew he was the Son of God, the one who could heal me.

The doctors couldn't heal me!
Tablets couldn't heal me!
They couldn't feed my soul with love, with the bread of life.
It was you I needed, yet it was from you I turned from.

I believed Ill of you, the one who knew me.
The one who knew every hair on my head.
The one who died for me.
The one who died for all.

I did terrible things.  Things I am now ashamed of, things that brought death.
I said terrible things, but I always stood up for Jesus...I knew deep down despite what anyone said of him, that he wasn't like that.
But Jesus said if i loved him i would obey his commandments.
And I didn't.

I seek your face again Jesus.
Willing to turn from all my sins.
Doing the best I can with what I have right now.
But Im afraid.
I have doubts and fears.
But I love people God.
God how I love them.
How i cry.
How i wish we could all be friends.
How i wish there was no death to take my friends from me.
How i wish you would hear this prayer and come into my heart, breaking down the walls of doubt and fear and frustration, cleansing my inner being like the finest soap.

Please keep helping me God, a sinner worthy of death and punishment.  Help me to see life again, and to share my joy with others, too heal the brokenhearted.
Keep me on the narrow path, yet be gentle with me, because i am the weakest of men, a man of uncertainty.

Guide me Lord to the path of truth.
Walk with me.
Hold me.
Just let me cry beside you for a while.

I want everything to be alright.
I pray for all of us.  I pray that my new friends here find great joy in the coming days. 
I pray that the truth of this website will start to really be seen.
I see you here because I see love here...I see it here!  It's so wonderful!

I pray for my enemies.
I ask that you forgive them, and I forgive them.
I ask that you forgive me Father, because I am the one who deserves it the least.
I pray for those in jail right now who are sorry for their crimes.
I pray for the sick, too ill to leave the house.
I pray for those in fear and beg you that you might send them company.
I pray for your love to touch those who need it right now wherever they are.

I pray that those reading this will not think of me somthing I'm not, because to me I am nothing at this moment, and a sinner at best.
But i pray that you will lead this sinner to springs of life giving water and make me an instrument of righteousness, an ever-present hand in times of trouble.

I love you God. If I am right about you, if you really are love itself, then I love you and I want to be with you.


By a sinner.

[Beloved Servant]

And, today, you will be with me in paradise.

(I think I read that somewhere)

[jesushandsarekindhands]

And, today, you will be with me in paradise.



(I think I read that somewhere)

The thief on the cross...i sometimes feel a worse sinner than that thief.

Do you think God will wipe my slate clean, so that maybe i could start afresh with him this time?
I turned away in the past and want things to be 'cool' between us.  (I couldn't think of another word besides cool).

[Beloved Servant]

I did not mean to liken you to the thief on the cross.

It was the wonderful Words Jesus said that was my focus.

Keep seeking Him and not the approval of men and you can not fail.

[peacemaker]

Do you think God will wipe my slate clean, so that maybe i could start afresh with him this time?
I turned away in the past and want things to be 'cool' between us.  (I couldn't think of another word besides cool).

"Adam walked in the Spirit; cool of the day."

Why not you?

Transcending the thoughts of the mind is to hold captive the commotion or chatter within, being at peace with the Spirit, having a moment of quietness, silence or rest.

Be still and know through the Spirit, not that of thinking.  

[sparrow]

Wow. Jesushandsarekindhands: That is one of the most beautiful tributes to God I've read.
How raw, powerful and full of pureness.
How God's heart must be moved after reading that.  :HeartThrob:

Brother, I will tell you this...
you are far closer than you think.

You are precious in the eyes of God.
you are walking on that narrow path, brother.. whether you realize it or not.

God bless you.

[jesushandsarekindhands]

I did not mean to liken you to the thief on the cross.

It was the wonderful Words Jesus said that was my focus.

Keep seeking Him and not the approval of men and you can not fail.

No beloved i knew you werent comparing me to the thief, it was a great passage you quoted, showing that Christ had mercy even upon the thief without hesitation.  It was beautiful, and a good thing you did.

[jesushandsarekindhands]

Do you think God will wipe my slate clean, so that maybe i could start afresh with him this time?
I turned away in the past and want things to be 'cool' between us.  (I couldn't think of another word besides cool).

"Adam walked in the Spirit; cool of the day."

Why not you?

Transcending the thoughts of the mind is to hold captive the commotion or chatter within, being at peace with the Spirit, having a moment of quietness, silence or rest.

Be still and know through the Spirit, not that of thinking.  

The name 'Peacemaker' is very appropriate for you.
This was just great, thank you thank you.


EDIT...These words are helping me more than i can say peacemaker, more and more things are making sense.

[jesushandsarekindhands]

Wow. Jesushandsarekindhands: That is one of the most beautiful tributes to God I've read.
How raw, powerful and full of pureness.
How God's heart must be moved after reading that.  :HeartThrob:

Brother, I will tell you this...
you are far closer than you think.

You are precious in the eyes of God.
you are walking on that narrow path, brother.. whether you realize it or not.

God bless you.

I know i can trust what you say Sparrow.

Why my mind tells me one thing and a battle goes on inside me i just don't know.

Your really special to me and thanks for all the help you gave to me in the forums and in private, i cant thank you enough, and ill always think well of you because of it.

Its a sheer honor to be here with such people as you and the others.  I dont deserve it, but i need you all.  I cant leave, where would i go!  Theres love here and i want more!!!

[sparrow]

Wow. Jesushandsarekindhands: That is one of the most beautiful tributes to God I've read.
How raw, powerful and full of pureness.
How God's heart must be moved after reading that.  :HeartThrob:

Brother, I will tell you this...
you are far closer than you think.

You are precious in the eyes of God.
you are walking on that narrow path, brother.. whether you realize it or not.

God bless you.

I know i can trust what you say Sparrow.

Why my mind tells me one thing and a battle goes on inside me i just don't know.

Because you are human and you are walking this life... putting to death your carnal man, and bringing to life the REAL you. It's a struggle. For ALL. You are doing just fine! Remember His hands are kind hands and they are holding onto you.

Your really special to me and thanks for all the help you gave to me in the forums and in private, i cant thank you enough, and ill always think well of you because of it.

Its a sheer honor to be here with such people as you and the others.  I dont deserve it, but i need you all.  I cant leave, where would i go!  Theres love here and i want more!!!

Ditto, friend. You are so very special to me.
I love your spirit and your heart.
They have been a HUGE blessing to me.
You'll understand why someday... :HeartThrob:

[jesushandsarekindhands]

[/quote]

Ditto, friend. You are so very special to me.
I love your spirit and your heart.
They have been a HUGE blessing to me.
You'll understand why someday... :HeartThrob:
[/quote]

After the blessing youve been to me, and yet you say i was a huge blessing to you? 
I just dont understand how i could have been Sparrow.
But if i helped anyone in anyway i am really happy about that.

[peacemaker]

Do you think God will wipe my slate clean, so that maybe i could start afresh with him this time?
I turned away in the past and want things to be 'cool' between us.  (I couldn't think of another word besides cool).

"Adam walked in the Spirit; cool of the day."

Why not you?

Transcending the thoughts of the mind is to hold captive the commotion or chatter within, being at peace with the Spirit, having a moment of quietness, silence or rest.

Be still and know through the Spirit, not that of thinking.  

The name 'Peacemaker' is very appropriate for you.
This was just great, thank you thank you.

EDIT...These words are helping me more than i can say peacemaker, more and more things are making sense.

There's no sense in worrying about the past, nor in the fear of tomorrow for all we have is today.

[Cardinal]

 :cloud9: So true....... :thumbsup: