I think Jesus just spoke to me

[jesushandsarekindhands]

The background is that lately ive been having a really horrible time, im not going to go into it, its hard for me to say how depressed and what a difficult time ive been having lately and (God knows how) ive managed to hide it well and still function.

Its 3:16am here right now and i was just about to go to bed.

Earlier I asked God to baptize me with his spirit but i didnt feel nothing, exept perhaps a cold shiver.

Anyway i was just about to goto my bed just now, i turned off my pc and put my head in my hands in despair then opened up my bible when i said to Jesus,
"Please Jesus...Speak to me, please".

This thought came into my head 'Matthew 23:12'
It reads 'For whoever exalts himself will be humbled and whoever humbles himself will be exalted'.

I read it and said "I'll humble myself".

I really do feel as though I have been getting 'humbled' lately by God, its like he's showing me how weak i really am without him.  Its horrible.  I dont want to go into details about what Im going through, but panic and depression springs to mind, add to that a cold and i can hardly breath lol!

Well i have to laugh!  This is all my fault.  How could i turn my back on him so long ago?  Well Jesus, by faith i will believe what you said to me, and i will humble myself, although I can't wait till the suffering is over...But im a slow learner (as you know Jesus) so this could go on a while.


I just wanted to share this with you all so i put the PC back on and posted this to see what you make of it.

[jesushandsarekindhands]

Typical me...I thought i knew better than God.
What an idiot i am.

Well im paying for it now.

[Beloved Servant]

You're not an idiot.
You're a very-muched loved child of God.
And I'm overjoyed that He is drawing you in and filling your heart with His wonder.
It's your time to come into the fold.
Thank you Father for quickening the ears of your faithful, loving children.
Bring us closer to You Father with each passing breath.

[sparrow]

Typical me...I thought i knew better than God.
What an idiot i am.

Well im paying for it now.

You're not an idiot.
I will tell you this, you are in good hands.
Don't let anyone fool you... This life is here to teach us.
Being in the valleys are perhaps the times when you are being taught the greatest of lessons.
Don't despair. Soon, you will be singing on the mountaintop.

Faith is nothing if it isn't tested over and over... until it gets stronger and stronger.
Soon the things that used to test your faith, the things that used to pull you into a valley, will no longer have that power. Because you will have overcome it.
This life is a journey.

And those who are humbled in the valleys will be exalted on the mountaintops.
You will see.

It will happen again and again.

Hang in there. You are in good hands.
God loves you more than you can possibly imagine.

lots of love to you,
sparrow

[jesushandsarekindhands]

Right im off to bed now, at least now ill be able to sleep, knowing (or at least having faith) that Jesus just spoke to me, at least i know he isnt really fed up of me now, thats a huge relief, ive done some things over the last few years that must have really disapointed him.
His words were harsh (a little) but i know this suffering is for my own good, and i do feel a bit better now, i just hope i dont have to suffer much longer.

Good night everyone.

[sparrow]

Good night, friend.
Remember... He's always known everything about you.
There are no surprises there.
You are in His hands.
And they are kind hands.
Just like it says in your username.

Sleep tight.

[jesushandsarekindhands]

You're not an idiot.
You're a very-muched loved child of God.
And I'm overjoyed that He is drawing you in and filling your heart with His wonder.
It's your time to come into the fold.
Thank you Father for quickening the ears of your faithful, loving children.
Bring us closer to You Father with each passing breath.

I am an idiot believe me.  I used to know Jesus, seriously, i used to tell him everything, he was my best friend, where he went, i went like a little puppy, and i turned away from him, why?  Because i was an evil little (i would normally swear but not anymore).
This is my fault.

And do you know what is even worse?  I CANT even promise that ill never let him down again!  Thats right! Even after ALL of this i cant even promise him that!  How sad is that!  

At the same time i know what your saying, God loves me, but i really dont deserve it.  I think ill go and hide under my covers now in shame.

[Beloved Servant]

Go ahead and cry out to Him.
You're in His hands now.
Ask for peace and rest.

[jesushandsarekindhands]

Typical me...I thought i knew better than God.
What an idiot i am.

Well im paying for it now.

You're not an idiot.
I will tell you this, you are in good hands.
Don't let anyone fool you... This life is here to teach us.
Being in the valleys are perhaps the times when you are being taught the greatest of lessons.
Don't despair. Soon, you will be singing on the mountaintop.

Faith is nothing if it isn't tested over and over... until it gets stronger and stronger.
Soon the things that used to test your faith, the things that used to pull you into a valley, will no longer have that power. Because you will have overcome it.
This life is a journey.

And those who are humbled in the valleys will be exalted on the mountaintops.
You will see.

It will happen again and again.

Hang in there. You are in good hands.
God loves you more than you can possibly imagine.

lots of love to you,
sparrow

You know Sparrow, climbing mountains used to be one of my favourite pastimes, but the panic attacks, my throat ceasing up etc with depression over the last 3 or 4 years has made it so unbearable i havent even been able to walk a few hundred feet without running back to my house.  I tried to forget my problems in lots of (sinful) ways, because...well i was an idiot,  so... if i can sing on the mountaintops again someday ill be very happy although right now, its just a dream that i cant even imagine.

Goodnight sparrow

[jesushandsarekindhands]

Go ahead and cry out to Him.
You're in His hands now.
Ask for peace and rest.

I need to get to know him again and learn to trust him, ive missed him so much these last few years, above all my doubts and all my problems i never stopped loving him...i just didnt know how to come back to him...sometimes he seems so far away, but thats probably my fault...i think i distanced myself from him in many ways.

[Beloved Servant]

Yea man.
He never changes — we do.
Could be that He just let you go out into the world to learn something.
And now He has called you back for a very big purpose.
Your walk in the Lord very well could be greater than ever before!

[sparrow]

You know Sparrow, climbing mountains used to be one of my favourite pastimes, but the panic attacks, my throat ceasing up etc with depression over the last 3 or 4 years has made it so unbearable i havent even been able to walk a few hundred feet without running back to my house.  I tried to forget my problems in lots of (sinful) ways, because...well i was an idiot,  so... if i can sing on the mountaintops again someday ill be very happy although right now, its just a dream that i cant even imagine.
Goodnight sparrow

Try to start imagining it.
And by the way... don't focus so much on worrying about letting down God in the future.
Let's see, how many ways have I felt that I let down God today?
Perhaps, instead I'll focus on the ways His love shined through me.
Yeah... that's the better path to take.
That's the path that leads to the mountaintop.
Know what I mean? Look at where your focus is.
If we focus on ourselves and our shortcomings, we'll wallow ALL day.
Trust me, I know from bitter experience. oy. Boy, do I ever know!
Every single one of us would wallow in despair.
Get on the right path... focus on Him.
Who is He?
Well... God is LOVE.
Reach out in Love.
Let His love shine through you.
Remember, He knows all about you and He loves you.
Nothing you can do will make Him stop loving you.
You are loved. Period.
:HeartThrob:


Beloved said:

Yea man.
He never changes — we do.
Could be that He just let you go out into the world to learn something.
And now He has called you back for a very big purpose.
Your walk in the Lord very well could be greater than ever before!

AMEN!!!  :thumbsup:  :HeartThrob:  :HeartThrob:  :HeartThrob:

[Paul Hazelwood]

The background is that lately ive been having a really horrible time, im not going to go into it, its hard for me to say how depressed and what a difficult time ive been having lately and (God knows how) ive managed to hide it well and still function.

There are not many words to describe what your going through.  I have been at the bottom, and yeah boy, it's some kind of work to crawl out, but as alone as you might feel,  God is right there.  If your anything like me you will  SCREAM.   "WELL, HEAVENLY FATHER, IF YOUR RIGHT HEAR WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WAITING FOR, IF YOUR SO POWERFUL, GET ME OUT OF THIS"

You know what he'll say?    "How the heck do you think you got this far?"



Night.   :icon_king:

[willieH]

willieH: Hi Jesushands... :hithere:

You're not an idiot.
You're a very-muched loved child of God.
And I'm overjoyed that He is drawing you in and filling your heart with His wonder.
It's your time to come into the fold.
Thank you Father for quickening the ears of your faithful, loving children.
Bring us closer to You Father with each passing breath.

:iagree:  This was well said by Brother Beloved Servant...

JesusHands... We are all works in process... there is NONE righteous... except the WORD manifest in our realm...

GOD so LOVED the WORLD bro... and YOU are a member of that WORLD He SO LOVES... which means He SO LOVES ...YOU!  :friendstu: :LoveH1:

:Peace:

...willieH  :flowerred:

[martincisneros]

I can relate to this thread a lot because of how much He's been correcting in my life this year, particularly of hard emotions that were buried deep inside towards Him, when He's been perfecting something in me this year that should have been in my life 15yrs ago, per the time line of my life that He's been explaining all of the details of to me as the books have been opened and I've been going thru the White Throne Judgment this year.  He's been dealing with a lot of emotional crap and telling me that I was heard the very first day that I prayed about a certain matter that I won't get into on the boards.  And I kept limiting Him to early 90s about such and such, then finally He reminded me that I'd prayed about it when I was just under 2yrs old.  I've been going thru a massive healing this whole summer as someone that was supposed to be in my life for years is finally in it.  Mostly my fault on the delays 'cause I didn't obey Him 20yrs ago about a 40 day fast.  He talked to me about it from 1988 to 1993 and then He finally just got quiet about it until 3yrs ago.  It didn't happen that year, and that year ended in disaster that I had none of His authority over, but He finally got what He wanted this year and then some.  And I'm the happiest I've ever been in my entire life.  But it's a long hard road when you get away from what He's telling you.  Anytime we even think He's saying or hinting in a certain direction, we just need to tell Him that when He specifies how high, then we'll jump:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVzVq8oTaEI

[Cardinal]

 :cloud9: I am SO happy for you, Marc! That was definitely the Lord you heard, and He was witnessing what Beloved Servant said to you about humbling yourself by getting naked on your knees and crying out to God. He is so good like that to speak out of the mouth of two or three witnesses so we're always safe and secure in the road that we are to travel for the moment. He never left you nor forsook you, you were always in the palm of His hand being molded for the Master's use.

A comment about the fear; fear hath torment and God hath not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind. He gives us the mind of Christ thru the washing of the water of His Word, and the baptism of His Spirit. Press in for both, and start praising Him till you feel a breakthrough for anything you can think of, because God inhabits the praises of His people. That spirit of fear has no dominion over you, you were created to have dominion over it, and in Him you are more than a conqueror, you are a SON OF GOD. RAISE UP in Him, and take your position from the enemy of your soul that has lied to you for so long! Blessings......

                                 HUGS

[jesushandsarekindhands]

Everyone thanks a lot, all the comments were great and really helpful.  I woke up today earlier feeling terrible, but im better now already.  (And the cold is coming to an end!!! OH thank God!)   I just wanted to let you all know about what happened last night.

Ive been humbled by God before and i guess thats why im pretty sure whats happening to me again, so in a way ive been able to endure it a bit more because its for my own good.

Ive felt my thoughts get changed a lot lately, you see im not really a bad person, i do a lot for people, always try to smile etc, but my thoughts were somtimes pretty bad, and i always felt like i couldnt control them, but i somehow feel more in control today...

Ill keep you all posted on what happens and thanks to all of you, the comments were amazing.

[jesushandsarekindhands]

You know Sparrow, climbing mountains used to be one of my favourite pastimes, but the panic attacks, my throat ceasing up etc with depression over the last 3 or 4 years has made it so unbearable i havent even been able to walk a few hundred feet without running back to my house.  I tried to forget my problems in lots of (sinful) ways, because...well i was an idiot,  so... if i can sing on the mountaintops again someday ill be very happy although right now, its just a dream that i cant even imagine.
Goodnight sparrow

Try to start imagining it.
And by the way... don't focus so much on worrying about letting down God in the future.
Let's see, how many ways have I felt that I let down God today?
Perhaps, instead I'll focus on the ways His love shined through me.
Yeah... that's the better path to take.
That's the path that leads to the mountaintop.
Know what I mean? Look at where your focus is.
If we focus on ourselves and our shortcomings, we'll wallow ALL day.
Trust me, I know from bitter experience. oy. Boy, do I ever know!
Every single one of us would wallow in despair.
Get on the right path... focus on Him.
Who is He?
Well... God is LOVE.
Reach out in Love.
Let His love shine through you.
Remember, He knows all about you and He loves you.
Nothing you can do will make Him stop loving you.
You are loved. Period.
:HeartThrob:


Beloved said:

Yea man.
He never changes — we do.
Could be that He just let you go out into the world to learn something.
And now He has called you back for a very big purpose.
Your walk in the Lord very well could be greater than ever before!

AMEN!!!  :thumbsup:  :HeartThrob:  :HeartThrob:  :HeartThrob:

Sparrow your totally right.  I dont think God is all to blame for this, i think ive become somewhat a prisoner in my own mind.  In fact the agony im going through could well be God breaking all those bad things down and getting inside again.

[jesushandsarekindhands]

Yea man.
He never changes — we do.
Could be that He just let you go out into the world to learn something.
And now He has called you back for a very big purpose.
Your walk in the Lord very well could be greater than ever before!

That makes a lot of sense, thank you.

[jesushandsarekindhands]

The background is that lately ive been having a really horrible time, im not going to go into it, its hard for me to say how depressed and what a difficult time ive been having lately and (God knows how) ive managed to hide it well and still function.

There are not many words to describe what your going through.  I have been at the bottom, and yeah boy, it's some kind of work to crawl out, but as alone as you might feel,  God is right there.  If your anything like me you will  SCREAM.   "WELL, HEAVENLY FATHER, IF YOUR RIGHT HEAR WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WAITING FOR, IF YOUR SO POWERFUL, GET ME OUT OF THIS"

You know what he'll say?    "How the heck do you think you got this far?"



Night.   :icon_king:

It gets me like that too Paul.  I try to be patient and longsuffering and then a few weeks into the misery Im like "Ok come on heeeellllpppp!!! Thats enough!"

I still dont feel like ive really learned my lesson though, but im getting there.

[jesushandsarekindhands]

willieH: Hi Jesushands... :hithere:

You're not an idiot.
You're a very-muched loved child of God.
And I'm overjoyed that He is drawing you in and filling your heart with His wonder.
It's your time to come into the fold.
Thank you Father for quickening the ears of your faithful, loving children.
Bring us closer to You Father with each passing breath.

:iagree:  This was well said by Brother Beloved Servant...

JesusHands... We are all works in process... there is NONE righteous... except the WORD manifest in our realm...

GOD so LOVED the WORLD bro... and YOU are a member of that WORLD He SO LOVES... which means He SO LOVES ...YOU!  :friendstu: :LoveH1:

:Peace:

...willieH  :flowerred:

Thank you Willie, its just hard to see that love sometimes when your in despair etc but im getting better i hope.

[jesushandsarekindhands]

I can relate to this thread a lot because of how much He's been correcting in my life this year, particularly of hard emotions that were buried deep inside towards Him, when He's been perfecting something in me this year that should have been in my life 15yrs ago, per the time line of my life that He's been explaining all of the details of to me as the books have been opened and I've been going thru the White Throne Judgment this year.  He's been dealing with a lot of emotional crap and telling me that I was heard the very first day that I prayed about a certain matter that I won't get into on the boards.  And I kept limiting Him to early 90s about such and such, then finally He reminded me that I'd prayed about it when I was just under 2yrs old.  I've been going thru a massive healing this whole summer as someone that was supposed to be in my life for years is finally in it.  Mostly my fault on the delays 'cause I didn't obey Him 20yrs ago about a 40 day fast.  He talked to me about it from 1988 to 1993 and then He finally just got quiet about it until 3yrs ago.  It didn't happen that year, and that year ended in disaster that I had none of His authority over, but He finally got what He wanted this year and then some.  And I'm the happiest I've ever been in my entire life.  But it's a long hard road when you get away from what He's telling you.  Anytime we even think He's saying or hinting in a certain direction, we just need to tell Him that when He specifies how high, then we'll jump:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVzVq8oTaEI

I know what you mean here.  Yes sometimes i have heard his voice and went my own way, only to really regret it later.
I think ill listen a lot more in future...a LOT more.

[jesushandsarekindhands]

:cloud9: I am SO happy for you, Marc! That was definitely the Lord you heard, and He was witnessing what Beloved Servant said to you about humbling yourself by getting naked on your knees and crying out to God. He is so good like that to speak out of the mouth of two or three witnesses so we're always safe and secure in the road that we are to travel for the moment. He never left you nor forsook you, you were always in the palm of His hand being molded for the Master's use.

A comment about the fear; fear hath torment and God hath not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind. He gives us the mind of Christ thru the washing of the water of His Word, and the baptism of His Spirit. Press in for both, and start praising Him till you feel a breakthrough for anything you can think of, because God inhabits the praises of His people. That spirit of fear has no dominion over you, you were created to have dominion over it, and in Him you are more than a conqueror, you are a SON OF GOD. RAISE UP in Him, and take your position from the enemy of your soul that has lied to you for so long! Blessings......

                                 HUGS

Your right!  I forgot about what you guys were saying about getting on my knees etc...wow that really confirms it then.

The rest of your message was a very powerful one Card and makes a lot of sense to me.

You know everyone, i really do feel closer to God today, i cant possibly explain how or why though. I just feel like im really getting there now, ive seen a little light and im heading for it...And im remembering lots of things....The old fire and brimstone crap i heard which has NOTHING to do with our God, is slowly (laughingly, 'burning up' like the chaff it is, in my mind) and im no longer thinking about all those doubts or all those people who confessed to be Christians but only 'loved me' IF i was a Christian too.

Im beggining to find the real God again.  The one who has worked a few miracles in my life and who i can clearly see in this website.

So thanks again for all the help, its a real help to have you all here, im a total child in this place when it comes to scripture and that makes me very happy because the understanding you guys have of it is the best ive ever seen, and i know in my heart its the right understanding because the God i worshipped then who did all those miracles was 'love' and he only EVER did (what i would call) his miracles when i really, really loved.

[jesushandsarekindhands]

2 Corinthians 10:3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.

[Paul Hazelwood]

The background is that lately ive been having a really horrible time, im not going to go into it, its hard for me to say how depressed and what a difficult time ive been having lately and (God knows how) ive managed to hide it well and still function.

There are not many words to describe what your going through.  I have been at the bottom, and yeah boy, it's some kind of work to crawl out, but as alone as you might feel,  God is right there.  If your anything like me you will  SCREAM.   "WELL, HEAVENLY FATHER, IF YOUR RIGHT HEAR WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WAITING FOR, IF YOUR SO POWERFUL, GET ME OUT OF THIS"

You know what he'll say?    "How the heck do you think you got this far?"



Night.   :icon_king:

It gets me like that too Paul.  I try to be patient and longsuffering and then a few weeks into the misery Im like "Ok come on heeeellllpppp!!! Thats enough!"

I still dont feel like ive really learned my lesson though, but im getting there.

It is simple, we are all a work in progress, dust yourself off,  keep going.  :)