How do I teach my children as a parent?

[Truth seeker]

hi everyone,,

as many know i seem to have more issues than an episode of Oprah! anyhow my family consists of me and the wife and two children (11 and 8)
long story short I cant see any of them in the near future attend church. Simply being I wasnt always an "active christian" when I met my wife, in fact it wasnt until a couple of years ago when my life was some what a mess and  I turned to Jesus to save me.
As you can imagine I had this change and all i want to do is learn. Most of my day is learning lol. I am reading around 5 books anything from apologetic s, archaeology, universalism, NDE`s anything to increase my faith and have an answer for others.
Now my wife has come to believe in Jesus and this has been amazing trust me but it has caused issues a while back when I was pushing too hard. It almost ended us. Obviously the kids pick up on this too and also say "why do we have to go" ect.
If we were both or even i active Christians or church going Christians from their birth then maybe  I would push but our situation is different and forcing them at this point will only lead them away from God I feel.
I do talk about God/Jesus to them a fair amount, not too much just "seeds" if you will. I tell them about salvation, sins, repentance and generally how God wants us to live. They know "we" are the church and Jesus is the only way. My little one asked what happens to those that dont believe, where do they go?

So I had to tell them are you talking about hell? as I know they would have picked this up from school or the few times they went to church with me maybe. Anyhow I explained how some think this way but I also told her I dont believe this and God loves everyone and those who dont accept Jesus now will have to be judged and "corrected" but after that they will be with us in peace. I kept it light I myself am still unsure about what judgment non believers will get.  So to conclude I ask general questions and we have these talks and I teach universalism in a basic form. I was thinking I wanted something online or dvd type material that suits a pre - teen level, not too baby ish??? I think sometimes technology can help us, I mean this is how I found this place.
I did find what looked like a good study guide on AIG but these are young earth creationalists and to be honest im not sure which camp im in on this subject. I dont believe in evolution but old Earth creationists like Hugh Ross does have some good points as well as young so not sure if  Iwant them to learn this part yet???
sorry Im waffling again but you get the jist. Any help to subliminally help my wife too would be a help. She will listen to me but sometimes I go of on one and loose her lol. We watched privileged planet on you tube not long ago and I think it really helped. Im thinking maybe some family christian films could help?? ultimately I feel I need to be their teacher and bring them all to God and know the truth that ALL will one day be together however best way is to trust in Jesus now.

right Im off might be in bed before anyone replies so forgive me, im up early tomorrow!! love you all!
:HeartThrob: :HeartThrob: :HeartThrob: :HeartThrob:

[Cardinal]

 :cloud9: There are two main simple messages I told my kids.....and now I am blessed to hear at least one of them echo them all the time in the people who cross her path that are babes or newbies. You would be surprised what topics spring forth from just these two....

1) There are two dogs inside you, a white one and a black one, and they are fighting. Which one will win? The kids, of course, first said the same thing everyone does, instinctively. The white one. But the correct answer is, the one you feed the most.

2) I tell them about goats and sheep. Sheep follow their master up over the mountains of life and become overcomers; goats refuse and go around and around and around the mountain digging themselves an even deeper rut over time.

These two things seem to offer up the simplest "hooks" for discussing foundational spiritual things. My  :2c:

[GodIsLove]

I'm in a similar situation. Fairly new to all this with an open minded husband who isn't too interested but listens and has some level of belief, and two kids.

I think UR has taught me to trust God more and lean not on my own understanding/effort/worries. You can't force another person to believe anything, and we can be confident that God has it covered. Plant seeds, God waters.

With my oldest, who is still very young, I or my husband prays with him every night. I taught him the Lords Prayer. He knows the story of Jesus. I have an illustrated NIV bible for him but honesty, I only read him New Testament stuff because the Old Testament is pretty heavy and violent and I don't even let my kids watch TV or movies really. I think a lot of adults wrestle with the OT violence so I'm sure it would confuse a kid. I have to say I'm not committed to new or old earth stuff because God can do things however he wants. Not to open that up to debate, just giving my opinion that it is ok if we just don't know. I have heard arguments on both sides and I choose not to worry about it. While they argue over the age of the earth, people are dying of starvation and kids are being trafficked as sex slaves--if you want to feel passionate about something then put the focus on those things in my opinion.

Anyway...I slip things about God and UR in--I tell my son when he is playing superhero that eventually God will turn bad guys into good guys. I tell him that God wants us to learn right from wrong and how to love each other. I tell him that we all will be with God eventually, and he loves us all. When we pray we end it with "God bless and protect and guide mommy, daddy, R, A, all of our friends and family, and the whole world, Amen."

I tell him that God can help us and guide us. If he is scared or sad or mad he can talk to us and he can also talk to God.

We sporadically go to church. When we do go, it's actually to a small Catholic Church (I know how you all feel about Catholics) ... We go there because it is the most comfortable for my husband who was raised catholic and I respect that. I also do feel that God is present there, I don't agree with it all but He works with us where we are and I think the pastor has a good heart and I have had some strong experiences there of feeling like God was speaking to me.

Anyway, I think our behavior is also a good model. Are we living how Jesus taught? Are we loving, forgiving?

Hope this helps!

[Ross]

I.M.O we teach our children by being a living, loving example. Demonstration of how you are handling situations is a silent witness. A picture paints a thousand words, so this witness does influence our children considerably.
Add in the security of a position which can not be removed by some mistake they have made, and this all builds indescribable bonding.

At their appointed time God will reveal to them just like He did for you.

[Dandelion]

I.M.O we teach our children by being a living, loving example. Demonstration of how you are handling situations is a silent witness. A picture paints a thousand words, so this witness does influence our children considerably.
Add in the security of a position which can not be removed by some mistake they have made, and this all builds indescribable bonding.

At their appointed time God will reveal to them just like He did for you.

I think this is great advice, Ross.

I would add, pray for them, and with them, if possible.

'But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,' 1 Peter3:15

   :dsunny:

D.

[marie glen]

 :Chinscratch: I agree heartily with all of the above.. Example is the best teacher.. Love Cardinal's teaching stories! And GodIsLove's..

I do like to talk a little about the science.. There's so much of man's theory of origins taught and in entertainment and well everywhere. AIG has some excellent and very interesting dvd's.

I will come back and post a couple of links, when on my computer, not phone. There's so very many good facts which strongly support creationism and refute man's silly adult fairy tale.. The biggest thing is dating but the carbon dating can't date beyond a few thousand years.. Truth!

Age is their 'God' thinking if there is lonG enough time anything can happen. My latest discovery I put into my own words, is carbon dating - the atheistic scientists prefer- is like a lady having hot flashes.. Don't laugh! If she lives to be real old she will not have any more hot flashes because she will have no more estrogen to lose.. If the world were any where near as old as they teach (our children) there would be no more carbon 14 to be given off.. No more helium either which evaporates/rises so fast.. Like our voice rises if we breathe it. I won't go on, but could. I love science! Which is observation! W/o preconception influencing! Man's theory is a bunch of theories supported on, you guessed it, theory. (Supposition.)

...tearing myself away...  :teaching: /  :blah:       (i really like science, simple science that is)

Most important of course is love (and example). If we love them.. and encourage, are fair and not hard to talk to.. And prayer, and like Dandelion says, with gentleness and respect.. And Trusting Him with it also. :smile:

[marie glen]

...and p.s. don't sweat the little stuff.. Save most of the no's for the more important things..

[marie glen]

One of the strongest strongholds against not only U.R., but the gospel itself -  is how the majority of people (and the educational system) believe man's theory of origins has been somehow proven... Even christian universities and some churches.. this is because it is taught that way and as fact.. It's one of the strongest trends at work upon humanity, it's a false teaching (false prophet) and great delusion which is causing christendom to fall away from the faith, removing the Christian influence and voice from the world. Terribly strong delusion, very active and aggressive, but it's only wind.. But being taught over and over and over .. by time children reach high school, they may be a confirmed scoffer.. Younger people are leaving the faith in droves.. and many in the faith no longer believe in the resurrection, the virgin birth, the flood.. etc.. a faith w/o power.. ("a form of godliness but denying the power therof")
:Peace2:
A Faith or Science? - http://inner-monastery.blogspot.com/p/faith-or-science.html
What Is The Anomaly? Life? Or Death? Apologetic Support - http://gospel-truth4all.blogspot.com/p/what-is-anomaly-life-or-death.html

[Abigail]

HI Truth Seeker,

I relate very much to your question, since this one is continually on my heart since we have children!

A few things I have found so far:

- do NOT be religious, children hate that and it keeps them from living with God and knowing him.
- Be very real and honest. When you don't know something, just say so. Maybe say: I'll seek what the Word speaks about it. Or I'll say: I don't fully understand, I'll ask God.
- cry out to God for your children. ask him everything. He'll give you wisdom. He has put the desire in your heart that your children know God, because it is His desire. He honours that desire and will work things out through your prayer (you speaking out the desires God has put in you)
- we speak with our children especially when their hearts are soft and open. We find that is mostly: when they go to bed (especially when they cannot sleep, are worried or something) AND when they have done wrong and are really sorry. When our children do wrong, we do not want to change their behaviour or have a punitive attitude, we rather want them to see that the sin is their enemy, and we are standing with them. They begin to see they do not desire to do wrong, and begin to become aware they need someone to save them from sin. This makes them very open for the love of God.
- we hardly use any christian 'materials' to teach our children. We mostly speak from our heart and share directly what God has been teaching and showing us. We read the bible with them, yet in a conversational way, so it makes sense to them (as a child, I used to let my mind wander whenever the bible was read because I found it so boring).
Some christian materials can be a stumble block to children, when they are religious, and we are cautious to use them.
- just as Mary Glen writes, we and our children also love science! I have absolutely no reason to believe in an old earth, even when I would be an atheist I would think the theory of evolution is simply to ridiculous to believe. We do use some materials on creation and science.
- we do not have a local church. Yet we relate to other families who are believers AND take the faith serious. Recently I heard a preacher warn of church youth groups. Often there are christian youths who live 'like the devil', all under the excuse that God understands and forgives. He said this can be a trap for a child, since they get the kingdom of God and the kingdom of darkness confused. I think it is important to whom your children relate, and I do not mean they just relate with 'perfect' christians. It's all about people's hearts.
(We homeschool, so we have a very different situation than when the children attend school, in this that it is easier to manage the influences on our children, whether positive or negative).
- Make your children a top priority. Win their hearts. Make your home a safe and loving place, a place to flee to instead to flee from.
- I have been seeking a lot of answers last years, about the same issues you have been writing about. Several months ago I felt God desires me to focus more on Who He is, on His love and grace. As I relate to Him as a child to a Father, I find that I am learning more than when I try to figure Him out from a distance, with my brain. I just ask Him everything in a pretty childish way. Whenever I get to know Him better, I start looking more like Him: becoming love. And the children receive this love of Him more than the other way.

I hope this helps you somewhat.
Abigail, mother of 6 children age 1-13

[Ross]

HI Truth Seeker,

I relate very much to your question, since this one is continually on my heart since we have children!

A few things I have found so far:

- do NOT be religious, children hate that and it keeps them from living with God and knowing him.
- Be very real and honest. When you don't know something, just say so. Maybe say: I'll seek what the Word speaks about it. Or I'll say: I don't fully understand, I'll ask God.
- cry out to God for your children. ask him everything. He'll give you wisdom. He has put the desire in your heart that your children know God, because it is His desire. He honours that desire and will work things out through your prayer (you speaking out the desires God has put in you)
- we speak with our children especially when their hearts are soft and open. We find that is mostly: when they go to bed (especially when they cannot sleep, are worried or something) AND when they have done wrong and are really sorry. When our children do wrong, we do not want to change their behaviour or have a punitive attitude, we rather want them to see that the sin is their enemy, and we are standing with them. They begin to see they do not desire to do wrong, and begin to become aware they need someone to save them from sin. This makes them very open for the love of God.
- we hardly use any christian 'materials' to teach our children. We mostly speak from our heart and share directly what God has been teaching and showing us. We read the bible with them, yet in a conversational way, so it makes sense to them (as a child, I used to let my mind wander whenever the bible was read because I found it so boring).
Some christian materials can be a stumble block to children, when they are religious, and we are cautious to use them.
- just as Mary Glen writes, we and our children also love science! I have absolutely no reason to believe in an old earth, even when I would be an atheist I would think the theory of evolution is simply to ridiculous to believe. We do use some materials on creation and science.
- we do not have a local church. Yet we relate to other families who are believers AND take the faith serious. Recently I heard a preacher warn of church youth groups. Often there are christian youths who live 'like the devil', all under the excuse that God understands and forgives. He said this can be a trap for a child, since they get the kingdom of God and the kingdom of darkness confused. I think it is important to whom your children relate, and I do not mean they just relate with 'perfect' christians. It's all about people's hearts.
(We homeschool, so we have a very different situation than when the children attend school, in this that it is easier to manage the influences on our children, whether positive or negative).
- Make your children a top priority. Win their hearts. Make your home a safe and loving place, a place to flee to instead to flee from.
- I have been seeking a lot of answers last years, about the same issues you have been writing about. Several months ago I felt God desires me to focus more on Who He is, on His love and grace. As I relate to Him as a child to a Father, I find that I am learning more than when I try to figure Him out from a distance, with my brain. I just ask Him everything in a pretty childish way. Whenever I get to know Him better, I start looking more like Him: becoming love. And the children receive this love of Him more than the other way.

I hope this helps you somewhat.
Abigail, mother of 6 children age 1-13

:thumbsup: :dsunny: We are indeed told to come to Him like children. After all He is considerably older than us and has much greater wisdom and understanding.
All the positivity in your approach is right on target I.M.O. We are indeed that witness. When growing in a loving, encouraging environment we are more likely to be inspired.

[rosered]

    :thumbsup: :HeartThrob:  Great advice Abigail  :girlheart:

thumbsup: :dsunny: We are indeed told to come to Him like children. After all He is considerably older than us and has much greater wisdom and understanding.
All the positivity in your approach is right on target I.M.O. We are indeed that witness. When growing in a loving, encouraging environment we are more likely to be inspired.

Being loving and   real , be yourself , is the best example  for   everyone especially  your children  :HeartThrob:  God knows  how to keep us  all  .

[marie glen]

Amen, amen! I agree! :smile:

[Truth seeker]

can I just say thank you all so much for such in depth answers. I cant answer you all individually as I seem to be having another bad week of things going wrong but hey ho.

I think between you all you have hit all aspects of how to approach this subject. I also like that some of you like the science part as I think growing up they will be hit at school with evolution a lot and they need to know this is not a conclusive topic.
Love is key and leading by example and showing how I deal with things. I think this also shows my wife how I have changed in ways too. Not sure if you know but there are 3 hypothesis regarding creation, evolution as you know, young age which I do like a lot but still unsure and old age creation, the old age creation as im aware still accepts that Adam and Eve was around 6000 years or so but they believe the earth and universe is still billions of years old still as they feel it would take at least this amount of time for the earth to be habitable. My only thoughts against the evidence of this is we have to remember God has the power to do anything in any amount of time so on that note I feel a young earth is possible. I do have some dvds from AIG. Anyhow going back to the girls its reassuring that many of you face the same trials and you teach them with simplicity and not so much religion techniques. I talked to my girls about sin the other day and they said yes we know what it is and we always pray and say sorry. The talk went on for a few minutes but I didnt want to push too hard. Our situation is a little different with my wife not being overly interested but non the less great support. I pray with my kids not every night but 2-3 times a week. I like to think it makes them think and pray on nights I dont. They seem to know a lot for the little I have talked to them so hopefully I am giving them "the right amount of medicine" I dont want to "overdose" them. As some of you say being religious or "bible bashing" them will only push them away. I too find the old testament a bit of a mystery and have only read to around Joseph. I need more time with this as I do get worried of the anger in the old testament. God bless everyone of you because again you have all helped me. When you get to heaven I owe you all big time :banana: great to hear such amazing replies too from some new people I have not talked to yet - Abigail and Ross. As usual Marie Glen, God is love, dandelion, rosered and Cardinal you all have been so supportive  :HeartThrob: :HeartThrob: :HeartThrob:

[Abigail]

Hi Truth Seeker,

This series I recently listened to, helped me to understand more of the nature of God in regarding to the difference between old & new testament.
Although I do not agree in every thing with the speaker (eg he believes in hell and I don't), I listened between the lines and it was a blessing and eye opener.

http://www.nove-stvoreni.cz/media-andrew-wommack-the-true-nature-of-god-atlanta-2013

I am aware of the old earth / new earth debate. I have not a specific reason to believe the earth is very old, since I think there are more scientific evidences of a young earth. Another source besides AIG is creation ministries international. I'm not sure what is the difference though.

I'm sorry I am not reading and responding much on the forum. I have very little time for computer.

I love you brothers & sisters!!!

[Ross]

I have very little time for computer.

I love you brothers & sisters!!!

TO me, computers are useful, but there is more to life than the computer world.
The best concept I like about them is they are quick to process. In the spirit we will be quicker. We will receive a broader input from our Father which will increase our abilities absolutely beyond our current state of being.

[Truth seeker]

Hi Truth Seeker,

This series I recently listened to, helped me to understand more of the nature of God in regarding to the difference between old & new testament.
Although I do not agree in every thing with the speaker (eg he believes in hell and I don't), I listened between the lines and it was a blessing and eye opener.

http://www.nove-stvoreni.cz/media-andrew-wommack-the-true-nature-of-god-atlanta-2013

I am aware of the old earth / new earth debate. I have not a specific reason to believe the earth is very old, since I think there are more scientific evidences of a young earth. Another source besides AIG is creation ministries international. I'm not sure what is the difference though.

I'm sorry I am not reading and responding much on the forum. I have very little time for computer.

I love you brothers & sisters!!!

thank you Abigail,

Our lives can be very busy so dont feel you have to respond all the time. I am leaning towards a young earth but who knows and its not essential for salvation I guess but does help with apologetics. I will take a look at the article regarding the old testament I do get put off with anyone talking and supporting hell but I guess thats the majority so something I have to deal with. Its just while im still new to universalism if someone comes back with a good point/verse for eternal hell then I go into panic mode. In time I will have more knowledge under my belt.

[Truth seeker]

I have very little time for computer.

I love you brothers & sisters!!!

TO me, computers are useful, but there is more to life than the computer world.
The best concept I like about them is they are quick to process. In the spirit we will be quicker. We will receive a broader input from our Father which will increase our abilities absolutely beyond our current state of being.

Hi Ross  :iagree:
Like a lot of technology its useful at times and a pain at other times. I have actually gotten back into reading something called "books" :laugh: lately due to my thirst for Christ. Really enjoying it.  I think a lot of us will do more reaing than replying. Im not amazing at evangelism so as a form I post the odd positive message about our saviour on my facebook page. I dont get all that many likes ect but you never know who is reading and what seeds are getting planted. The other good thing is computers give you that bit more security to open up a little more about topics that concern us.  :dsunny:

[Ross]

G'day Truth seeker;

What's a book?   :laughing7: :laughing7:


Better for the eyes to read the book than the screen, apparently.
Less R.S.I in turning pages than typing.

However, the computer is a library with more data and takes up less space.
Brilliant for research in some regards. Only hesitation, like any research, is sorting the true and applicable data from the excess baggage. Being able to research the history and translations of the bible has opened my horizons considerably.


The truth about Christ is indescribable; limitless; infallible; permeating every aspect of our being from dimensions which exceed the physical boundaries; a living demonstration of true love.

C.U

[marie glen]

...i think of the world wide web as an open door for the gospel, especially for U.R. (not so easy to stone us! :laughing7: ) but it also can be a 'black hole' sucking the life out of life.. :eek:

...when we teach children, anything we teach them with affection takes hold (imo).. one thing I told my kids and now tell my grand kids.. the t.v. the computer, the advertisers, etc.. they don't love you. Your parents, your grand parents do love you and care what you and your life will be.. The advertisers, etc, do not.
:Peace2: :smile:

[Abigail]

btw I'm not against computers ;-)
I just notice that whenever I am at the computer or smartphone, I don't hear and see anything that happens around me. And the children are around me all day, so that means they tell me something and I don't respond or they fight and I don't notice... so I decided to stay away from it when they are awake as much as possible.

Truth Seeker, you mentioned your wife is not over enthousiastic. Just to encourage you, and not to discourage (single) moms: statistics show that the influence of a believing father is tremendous. Children of born again fathers turn out to become christians over 90 % (regardless of their mother's faith) while it is about 17 % when only the mother is a believer (I recently heard these statistics in a sermon, so I just speak from memory). I believe this has to do with the created order of God, in which fathers are leaders and children are designed to naturally follow them.
The sermon I mentioned in the other post has no apologetics for hell, it's just mentioned.

[Patinak]

...i think of the world wide web as an open door for the gospel, especially for U.R. (not so easy to stone us! :laughing7: ) but it also can be a 'black hole' sucking the life out of life.. :eek:

...when we teach children, anything we teach them with affection takes hold (imo).. one thing I told my kids and now tell my grand kids.. the t.v. the computer, the advertisers, etc.. they don't love you. Your parents, your grand parents do love you and care what you and your life will be.. The advertisers, etc, do not.
:Peace2: :smile:

Great, just great!

[marie glen]

btw I'm not against computers ;-)

I just notice that whenever I am at the computer or smartphone, I don't hear and see anything that happens around me. And the children are around me all day, so that means they tell me something and I don't respond or they fight and I don't notice... so I decided to stay away from it when they are awake as much as possible.

    :thumbsup: :thumbsup: wise, wise 'girl'!! (wise mother!:))

Children of born again fathers turn out to become christians over 90 %

How interesting!! :smile:

[marie glen]

I had a thought about the fierceness of our heavenly Father in the Old Testament.. the parable of the wheat and tares says the Son of man sowed the wheat (believers/followers) and an enemy sowed the tares.. Same in Old Testament days.. (Both seeds of course, are spiritual. Neither, wheat nor tares were born that way, or rather w/o Jesus we all are tares.)

If it were not for the Father's strong dealings in ancient days (Old Testament days) I'm thinking, the world would have been overrun by tares long ago. (Barbaric, fierce tares.) A garden gone wholly to weeds.. (thorny, noxious, choking weeds)
   :2c: :smile: (was considering a new thread, but just wanted to comment on this aspect of (His) Father(hood).. God bless!

[Truth seeker]

btw I'm not against computers ;-)
I just notice that whenever I am at the computer or smartphone, I don't hear and see anything that happens around me. And the children are around me all day, so that means they tell me something and I don't respond or they fight and I don't notice... so I decided to stay away from it when they are awake as much as possible.

Truth Seeker, you mentioned your wife is not over enthousiastic. Just to encourage you, and not to discourage (single) moms: statistics show that the influence of a believing father is tremendous. Children of born again fathers turn out to become christians over 90 % (regardless of their mother's faith) while it is about 17 % when only the mother is a believer (I recently heard these statistics in a sermon, so I just speak from memory). I believe this has to do with the created order of God, in which fathers are leaders and children are designed to naturally follow them.
The sermon I mentioned in the other post has no apologetics for hell, it's just mentioned.

thats interesting Abigail!! I hope they do listen and tbh I think they do. I get frustrated that we cant all talk about God all day for fear of boring or "doing my wifes head in" lol but I guess thats what the bible teaches of being equally yolked or not. I think however God has brought us together as a family for a reason and maybe hes working through me even though I feel useless most of the time. I know God has a plan and I trust in him.

[Truth seeker]

I had a thought about the fierceness of our heavenly Father in the Old Testament.. the parable of the wheat and tares says the Son of man sowed the wheat (believers/followers) and an enemy sowed the tares.. Same in Old Testament days.. (Both seeds of course, are spiritual. Neither, wheat nor tares were born that way, or rather w/o Jesus we all are tares.)

If it were not for the Father's strong dealings in ancient days (Old Testament days) I'm thinking, the world would have been overrun by tares long ago. (Barbaric, fierce tares.) A garden gone wholly to weeds.. (thorny, noxious, choking weeds)
   :2c: :smile: (was considering a new thread, but just wanted to comment on this aspect of (His) Father(hood).. God bless!

:iagree: :iagree: makes sense back then they lived in extremes so I can understand why God had to be so fierce.