I was reading 1 Corinthians,and I think I have a lot of faith and hope, but due to having been bullied and raped, I can be a very vengeful person, and I'm only kind to those who I feel deserve it- I hate to say it, but it's true, and I harbour bitterness towards those who've hurt me. I was taught that to forgive meant that it was my fault and that I was to blame. I'm also bitter towards a church that taught that suffering meant you went to Hell yet if you weren't suffering, you weren't in God's will, that women had no role besides being a domestic slave, that video games and creativity were sinful, and that my eating disorder would send me to Hell. How can I forgive these people? It's so hard and I'm not ready...
It's on ongoing process... Bless God in your trials, they bring you to the cross.
This song always speaks to me, I pray it does you too.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ax0EwhLltcE&feature=related
Quote from: Andromeda_Organa on July 21, 2009, 05:27:58 PM
I was reading 1 Corinthians,and I think I have a lot of faith and hope, but due to having been bullied and raped, I can be a very vengeful person, and I'm only kind to those who I feel deserve it- I hate to say it, but it's true, and I harbour bitterness towards those who've hurt me. I was taught that to forgive meant that it was my fault and that I was to blame. I'm also bitter towards a church that taught that suffering meant you went to Hell yet if you weren't suffering, you weren't in God's will, that women had no role besides being a domestic slave, that video games and creativity were sinful, and that my eating disorder would send me to Hell. How can I forgive these people? It's so hard and I'm not ready...
One step is the one your taking here. Your not pretending you can, so it will come in time.
Quote from: Andromeda_Organa on July 21, 2009, 05:27:58 PM
I was taught that to forgive meant that it was my fault and that I was to blame.
Hu? What kind of nonsense is that?
QuoteI'm also bitter towards a church that taught that suffering meant you went to Hell yet if you weren't suffering, you weren't in God's will, that women had no role besides being a domestic slave, that video games and creativity were sinful, and that my eating disorder would send me to Hell. How can I forgive these people? It's so hard and I'm not ready...
More nonsense. If a church leader speaks about my girlfriend like they spoke/thaught to you. Well.... call 911
Forgiving is a form of love. I think the first step is to love/forgive yourself.
Tell me if I'm wrong but to me you sound like you are constantly looking for bad things about yourself. Learning your good parts looks like the first step you should take imo....
"Love your neighbour like you love yourself."
So you first have to love yourself and then equally love your neighbor.
Now you hate your neighbour like you hate yourself. So you are on the right track! I think.... :laughing7:
we were told that the love of many would cool....because
of increasing wrongs. One thing that may help is this....
can you still rejoice with the truth that God will deliver those
who hurt you from such things that hurt you? Can you still find
some joy in that?.Knowing that such unloving acts that were
hurtful and harmful to you will be destroyed for ever,can you
find a little comfort in that?
wrongful unloving acts are never o.k. I would not mislead you
to think they are. They are not ok with God or Jesus.they are
condemned to everlasting obliteration in the eternal.
there is nothing wrong with you hating the evil act or
going to your Father and telling Him of your pain..He
understands and will comfort you. He has promised to wipe
the tears from your face and make you eternally joyful.
Pray to Him and tell Him all that is in your heart,and ask Him
to help you deal with your hurts and pain and woundedness.
Be very frank with Him about your feelings that you are
struggling with. He is very tender and understanding when
His children seek His help dealing with these difficult things.
God Bless you,may you find joy and peace.
I agree with Paul. This is a first step.
I started to have a hard time with forgiveness when I was about 17/18. I was very bitter over some things.
Now 20 years later, I see through people through "future" eyes. I know that one day, all of their fear, anger, hatred, etc. will be completely gone. I know that one day, they will finally find the love they were searching for all their lives. I know that one day, they will become their TRUE selves, that God always meant for them to be. This true self is full of love. I know that one day, they will feel shame/remorse/guilt for things they have done in the past. It's an awful feeling to go through that. Wishing you knew NOW what you didn't seem to know then and having remorse over past actions. But that too, only makes you stronger and helps you to grow. Just knowing that the bad things that people do, that WE do, are not the things that are going to last forever. Those things will be turned around. One way to turn those things around is to forgive.
Being able to forgive is a wonderful feeling. You do it out of love for the other person. You see this person who wronged you, or wronged humanity, and you see this person through the eyes of love. God's love that is in your heart is what allows you to do this. It's God's love that allows you to see everyone as a brother or sister.. no matter where they are NOW on their path in life... you see the END result. You go BEYOND where they are NOW... you go beyond that, and see MORE than they do right now. That allows you to truly forgive.
I hope that made sense... if it didn't, let me know.
take care Andromeda...
sparrow
Quote from: Andromeda_Organa on July 21, 2009, 05:27:58 PM
I was reading 1 Corinthians,and I think I have a lot of faith and hope, but due to having been bullied and raped, I can be a very vengeful person, and I'm only kind to those who I feel deserve it- I hate to say it, but it's true, and I harbour bitterness towards those who've hurt me. I was taught that to forgive meant that it was my fault and that I was to blame. I'm also bitter towards a church that taught that suffering meant you went to Hell yet if you weren't suffering, you weren't in God's will, that women had no role besides being a domestic slave, that video games and creativity were sinful, and that my eating disorder would send me to Hell. How can I forgive these people? It's so hard and I'm not ready...
This is going to sound harsh Andromeda. But what you need to realize is that evil you received is of the same nature that YOU are. In other words. Those were the children of the devil which is just as we are before Christ comes in our lives and destroys the evil nature we have. Christ destroys our evil nature with love. So put on Christ and hate those that tormented you with the same Love.
Paul
forgive and make peace with yourself first...the rest will follow
Thank you everyone! :girlheart: I've started a forgiveness journal in order to work on forgiving the people for teaching the false doctrines and meditating on the Biblical truth of His Word. :icon_flower: I can already feel myself healing. Thanks for your suggestions! :thumbsup:
Quote from: Andromeda_Organa on July 23, 2009, 03:23:53 PM
Thank you everyone! :girlheart: I've started a forgiveness journal in order to work on forgiving the people for teaching the false doctrines and meditating on the Biblical truth of His Word. :icon_flower: I can already feel myself healing. Thanks for your suggestions! :thumbsup:
A forgiveness journal! What an excellent idea... love that!! :happy3:
Quote from: Andromeda_Organa on July 23, 2009, 03:23:53 PM
Thank you everyone! :girlheart: I've started a forgiveness journal in order to work on forgiving the people for teaching the false doctrines and meditating on the Biblical truth of His Word. :icon_flower: I can already feel myself healing. Thanks for your suggestions! :thumbsup:
he/she who is forgiven much loveth much.
knowing our true nature and knowing the forgivness that is in him, will allow you to look at others in the true light.
bless you
euty
"forgiveness breaks the knots to release the past" :thumbsup:
This talked to me because when I was 18-19, I was a selfish man, really selfish, I couldn't care if thousands people were dying in a catastrophe or anything else, I was insensible to suffering especially the suffering of those I didn't knew.
I was a Christian at that time, but my heart was cold as ice. Mind you, God had already started to melt that heart but it was still stone-cold.
Then, the Holy Spirit showed me my heart and I repented and asked God to change my heart.
It's such a slow process, but I can say now, 10 years later, that I might still be selfish, but oh so less. God has softened my heart that I can now cry when I see suffering and that is such a freeing thing.
In fact, it's that love being poured to me that has brought me to the universalist position because I now love people so much I wouldn't stand to see or know that they are suffering for ever in a fiery pit.
And to think that this love is still incomplete...
May God have mercy upon the churches and bring them back to His truth.
How are you doing Andromeda_Organa ??
God took 20 years to turn Joseph into a man who could forgive his brothers...
Quote from: Andromeda_Organa on July 21, 2009, 05:27:58 PM
I was reading 1 Corinthians,and I think I have a lot of faith and hope, but due to having been bullied and raped, I can be a very vengeful person, and I'm only kind to those who I feel deserve it- I hate to say it, but it's true, and I harbour bitterness towards those who've hurt me. I was taught that to forgive meant that it was my fault and that I was to blame. I'm also bitter towards a church that taught that suffering meant you went to Hell yet if you weren't suffering, you weren't in God's will, that women had no role besides being a domestic slave, that video games and creativity were sinful, and that my eating disorder would send me to Hell. How can I forgive these people? It's so hard and I'm not ready...
Andro, I am a firm believer that God can heal all wounds. But, I'm also a firm believer that God uses others for much of that healing. It sounds like you have suffered much abuse. I don't know if anyone can be issue free coming out of a toxic environment. Saying that, I wonder have you sought professional help? Spiritual, emotional, and physical abuse has to be processed in a safe environment. And it sounds like you are still suffering from past abuse. God often uses others in his plans for healing. I would seek out a good Christian counselor and a support group. These with prayer and petition to Christ will help you process the pain and learn to forgive.
:cloud9: Speaking as someone who has come from a lot of abuse, I can say with certainty He is capable of healing all wounds. Many years after I had forgiven (also thru HIM) my abusers, I had a dream vision from the Lord that was sort of the "icing" on the cake.
In the part of the dream that pertains to this, I saw myself walking down an aisle with chairs on both sides, like a church, to look out a window, expecting something. I did this 3 times. The 3 time, I was surprised to see family members and others that had "done me wrong".
I was more surprised to be able to "hear" via the Spirit, the motive of their hearts in what they had done, the TRUE motive which only comes from the Spirit. In actuality, they were cheering me on, aware that what they had done to me was planned before I even got here, to make me overcome and birth the Christ in me, thru much tribulation.
I was aware that as He picks one in every bloodline/household, to act as a priest and offer up sacrifices for the others, I had been pre-ordained to be that priest for them, which was why they were cheering me on.
The 3rd trip down the aisle, I saw what I was waiting on, loaves of bread, more than you could count, and the Lord spoke two scriptures to me......end of dream. Things are not always as they appear, for He truly works ALL THINGS together for good, for those that love the Lord. Blessings....
Quote from: Cardinal on August 29, 2010, 07:10:10 PM
:cloud9: Speaking as someone who has come from a lot of abuse, I can say with certainty He is capable of healing all wounds. Many years after I had forgiven (also thru HIM) my abusers, I had a dream vision from the Lord that was sort of the "icing" on the cake.
In the part of the dream that pertains to this, I saw myself walking down an aisle with chairs on both sides, like a church, to look out a window, expecting something. I did this 3 times. The 3 time, I was surprised to see family members and others that had "done me wrong".
I was more surprised to be able to "hear" via the Spirit, the motive of their hearts in what they had done, the TRUE motive which only comes from the Spirit. In actuality, they were cheering me on, aware that what they had done to me was planned before I even got here, to make me overcome and birth the Christ in me, thru much tribulation.
I was aware that as He picks one in every bloodline/household, to act as a priest and offer up sacrifices for the others, I had been pre-ordained to be that priest for them, which was why they were cheering me on.
The 3rd trip down the aisle, I saw what I was waiting on, loaves of bread, more than you could count, and the Lord spoke two scriptures to me......end of dream. Things are not always as they appear, for He truly works ALL THINGS together for good, for those that love the Lord. Blessings....
Cardinal if you are not comfortable talking about the process I totally understand. But, often times when people have to process pain and abuse they have their own journey that can be helpful to others. So many times I hear those who love the Lord express how he got them through the pain without going into details about the process. Was this just a prayer and petition process or did you have help of others?
:cloud9: In the early days of my walk, I had the help of others via prayer and word of knowledge. Most of it was done one on one via the Spirit, a few months after I came to Him. I had asked when I was about 10, for Him to take the memories, and He did.
So much so, that when I came to Him and He started to do the healing, He had to let me remember my childhood (very few memories as a result of prayer), which came flashing at me in scenes, and this lasted for 4 hours, which I sobbed all the way thru, then 20 years later, at 30 years of age.
There is, I found, evidence that the child in us is bound or trapped in the darkness of our experience in the flesh, and this deliverance is the "coming to Him as a CHILD". The "child" stays behind whatever the wall is, afraid to come out into the light. Another reason why perfect-ed love casts out all fear.
Since a violation of a child's trust causes them to view everyone with suspicion, it's no wonder that this stumbling block is placed so as to prevent them from trusting the Lord. And unforgiveness is as acid; it burns whatever contains it as well as what it is poured on.
I was unable in my own strength to forgive all, and one day He quickened to me about being able to do nothing without Him, and that all I had to do was tell Him it was MY WILL to forgive them, but I was powerless to do so.
He did it all, to where I was able to show unconditional love to my abusers, and was used to bring all of them to the Lord before they died. This unconditional love comes as coals of fire when we pray for them, and it is the most powerful thing in the universe.
In those that have sin, it convicts them of sin, and the love begins to open the door to their heart. They recognize inwardly what they did, and it breaks their stony heart.
Better than that even, with authority we are given thru His love, we can actually command their stony heart to be broken before Him in us, and He will do it. All power in heaven (spirit) and earth (flesh) has been given unto us thru Christ Jesus, but until this fact is made life/awakened in us, we continue to "sleep".
Back to the child thing; mentioned this in another post, but I found it fascinating when I read an ancient account of one of the kings who sacked the temple, who mocked the Israelite's "gods", the CHILDREN (angels) on top of the ark of the covenant.
One was male, one female. Restoration back to the anointed cherubim that covereth.......unashamed to be naked before Him. Blessings...
Quote from: Cardinal on August 29, 2010, 09:37:48 PM
:cloud9: In the early days of my walk, I had the help of others via prayer and word of knowledge. Most of it was done one on one via the Spirit, a few months after I came to Him. I had asked when I was about 10, for Him to take the memories, and He did.
So much so, that when I came to Him and He started to do the healing, He had to let me remember my childhood (very few memories as a result of prayer), which came flashing at me in scenes, and this lasted for 4 hours, which I sobbed all the way thru, then 20 years later, at 30 years of age.
There is, I found, evidence that the child in us is bound or trapped in the darkness of our experience in the flesh, and this deliverance is the "coming to Him as a CHILD". The "child" stays behind whatever the wall is, afraid to come out into the light. Another reason why perfect-ed love casts out all fear.
Since a violation of a child's trust causes them to view everyone with suspicion, it's no wonder that this stumbling block is placed so as to prevent them from trusting the Lord. And unforgiveness is as acid; it burns whatever contains it as well as what it is poured on.
I was unable in my own strength to forgive all, and one day He quickened to me about being able to do nothing without Him, and that all I had to do was tell Him it was MY WILL to forgive them, but I was powerless to do so.
He did it all, to where I was able to show unconditional love to my abusers, and was used to bring all of them to the Lord before they died. This unconditional love comes as coals of fire when we pray for them, and it is the most powerful thing in the universe.
In those that have sin, it convicts them of sin, and the love begins to open the door to their heart. They recognize inwardly what they did, and it breaks their stony heart.
Better than that even, with authority we are given thru His love, we can actually command their stony heart to be broken before Him in us, and He will do it. All power in heaven (spirit) and earth (flesh) has been given unto us thru Christ Jesus, but until this fact is made life/awakened in us, we continue to "sleep".
Back to the child thing; mentioned this in another post, but I found it fascinating when I read an ancient account of one of the kings who sacked the temple, who mocked the Israelite's "gods", the CHILDREN (angels) on top of the ark of the covenant.
One was male, one female. Restoration back to the anointed cherubim that covereth.......unashamed to be naked before Him. Blessings...
I really appreciate your detailed account. For me, my path to forgiveness came with a detailed account of the wrongs I had done to others. There were many things I personally needed forgiveness for from the individuals I had wronged. God worked with me through that process to understand pain from both sides. Each ammend I made brought new insight and humility. And at the end of that process I found it much easier to forgive. I did have an issue forgiving one person even after this process. I was given the advice to pray for this person every day. Those prayers started superficial and grew in depth and passion as time progressed. Shortly, I had forgiven this person and had a deep desire to speak with her again. God revealed to me during this process of prayer how much that pain benefited me. Even when she had meant evil for me God had turned it into something beautiful and wonderful. God actually saved my life through her actions and I hadn't even realized it.
Quote from: Andromeda_Organa on July 21, 2009, 05:27:58 PM
I was reading 1 Corinthians,and I think I have a lot of faith and hope, but due to having been bullied and raped, I can be a very vengeful person, and I'm only kind to those who I feel deserve it- I hate to say it, but it's true, and I harbour bitterness towards those who've hurt me. I was taught that to forgive meant that it was my fault and that I was to blame. I'm also bitter towards a church that taught that suffering meant you went to Hell yet if you weren't suffering, you weren't in God's will, that women had no role besides being a domestic slave, that video games and creativity were sinful, and that my eating disorder would send me to Hell. How can I forgive these people? It's so hard and I'm not ready...
The thing to remember is that you have the Holy Spirit in you. It's Him in you that allows you to become more loving, rather than you trying to feel more loving on your own. My flesh hates almost everyone. I'm hateful, vengeful, spiteful, bitter, condescending... you name it. There's nothing Christlike about me in the flesh. But praise God, I have the Holy Spirit inside of me, who is slowly constantly sanctifying me. That is, slowly helping me to become more Christlike. Even though there are a lot of times I feel hardly any change has taken place, I'm quite positive if God put me in front of a movie screen and showed me how I was a few years ago and how I am now, I'd be amazed at the difference. And it's all Him in me.