Hello,
I am asking you for help, please. I have the sickness of schizophrenia together with thought problems. It's physical - sometimes I can hardly think at all, except when I write or speak. That's why I am also talking to myself a lot - it's easier to think that way.
But lately I have problems believing. Every little argument against God's existence or goodness irks me incredibly. Today I sat in the market place for a while and even felt driven to believe in the devil instead of in Jesus. That's normally not what I do at all, and I resist the devil no matter what. But today I just could not resist at all.
Although I have schizophrenia I do not hear voices. My body feels okay. But my brain is such a mess. I get such heavy medicines to curb religious mania that I can hardly think. Every thought gets sawn through and my head feels very heavy. My doctor wants to keep me on this medicine even though it's only meant for emergency situations and should only be given for a short time.
My morning was full of atheism. And I cannot read the bible because it inspires fear for me. Is there another way to relate to God? The Old Testament does not mention hellfire things but instead it is full of bloody god-ordained warfare. How can I trust God's forgiveness if he kills people? And how about the story of Judas Iscariot? Could God not forgive him, indeed what are we to make of the scope of God's grace if he could not forgive Judas?
I'm a total mess today. I wish I could simply put faith in Jesus Christ like I knew it, but it's hard for me. I suppose I demand an answer from God but he isn't going to listen to me.
I need help, please...
hi...Jesus showed us what God is like....God forgave His enemies from the Cross...and Judas ?...here's a literal translation of Mark 14:21, "The Son of Mankind is indeed going away, according as it is written concerning Him, yet woe to that man through whom the Son of Mankind is being given up! Good were it for Him if that man were not born." – Concordant Literal Translation
"On the one hand, the Son of the Man (=Adam's son; = the representative human; = the eschatological messianic figure) is progressively leading the way under (or: is now going away) – just as (correspondingly as) it has been written about and concerning Him. Yet tragic will be the fate for THAT MAN through whom the Son of the Man is in the process of being turned over. It was continuing being beautiful for Him [i.e., for the Son of the man] (or; It was being ideal to Him; It was existing fine for Him) – if THAT MAN was not brought to birth (or: had [just] not been born)!" – Jonathan Mitchell N.T.
tonight I prayed on my knees by the side of my bed....I praised Jesus and thanked Him for loving EVERY ONE of His human creation..I praised Him for saving ALL of His children...He is a WONDERFUL AND LOVING God...I know you have faith, my friend...and God WILL see you through.
Good Morning, Anti.
Some thoughts: pray, unceasingly; try to read even just one line of the Bible, daily...hopefully, over time, it will get easier; surround yourself with only godly things and thoughts, such as what movies you watch and music you listen to; take advantage of whatever things might keep you connected to others.....those who are supportive and many who love the Lord; keep talking to us on the website, and even though I know this is probably difficult to do, try to maintain a gratefulness for what you do have in your life, that is good. Gratitude changes our outlook.
I have found that little steps are usually the best way to walk a thousand miles. Those little steps can make a huge difference.
I am so very sorry you struggle with these issues so. I do however believe that, somehow, someway, God always uses all our pain and sorrow.....and joy....for good.
And, He sees our hearts and knows if we sincerely want to do His will, even despite our struggles. And, I believe, He will see how very hard you are trying, even through your illness.
I have come to see that, with my own struggles, through many years of living in abusive situtations.
By the way....Jesus would have forgiven Judas.....but Judas didn't ask to be forgiven. He despaired and took his life, instead.
Peter did ask for forgiveness....and Jesus did forgive him.
You are and will be in my prayers.
D.
:2c: My Dear Brother, I believe you are undergoing a spiritual warfare in your mind...a takeover,attack in progressby the kingdom
of darkness. Take heart..nothing can seperate you from the the love of God shown through Jesus Christ. Do not believe the lies
they are speaking to your mind right now...to make your heart heavy. You are loved very very much...and shortly all the power of
adversary will be placed under all our feet. Believe Him,trust him...and love him. Remember there is nothing they can do..or cause you to
do...that will change anything at this point. they know their time is short...and venegeance is mine,saith the Lord..and He will repay
them.[what you have done unto one of these least little ones that believe in me..ye have done unto me] That is how your Father and
Jesus look at what you are going through. Holy Father, I pray your send your holy angels unto our brother..and put the helmet of
salvation on his head..to thwart the fiery serpent thoughts assailing his mind..the breastplate of righteousness over his heart[free
gift through faith] that he not be heavy hearted. May the God of all comfort,comfort you..my fellow sufferer in Christ. Amen. :HeartThrob:
Thank you for your kindness.
I just do not know if my trouble is from satan or from the illness. I can't believe an evil angel would sit here with me all the time and attack me. They would have nothing to gain from it and it's been more than 10 years that this is going on, and it's so slow and I'm still with God. Sometimes I thought it's a book of Job situation, but this is awful, to think that my Father would have delivered me up to the enemy and I'd have to prove myself every day.
I found some comfort taking communion on my own as my church does not share it often enough. That really gave strength to my body and soul. But my mind is like broken on a certain place and that confuses me always.
Sometimes I cannot trust the bible. For example, the wars. I do not understand them, especially the harshness of the prophetic words about eating babies and such in a siege. When God is love he would work against war as it makes so many suffer. I get that sometimes God must blow the war trumpet like it happened in world war 2 when the allies had to fight the nazis on the battlefield. But this has given doubt to many people. I read articles about the Holocaust and the jews still have trouble with it, especially the older ones. They said those who were in the holocaust could hardly believe in God anymore.
And my problem is cognitive. When you have trouble with your leg, your head remains clear and you can act against it and nobody disrespects you. But in my case as I am living in a group home it's terrible sometimes. I just do not get the normal human decency sometimes. I cannot move out, the doctor gives me heavy medicines that I cannot refuse, I get so little money now and the caretakers are so cold. It's not prison but sometimes it comes close.
UR is a refuge for me. But when you are really tested with the really evil things on this world it's a bit difficult to believe in.
Hello Daniel,
You may want to consider taking a break from reading your bible. I know this sounds counter intuitive. A lot of the discussion on the 'Tent' has to do with translation and interpretation issues of the bible. For myself, it is easy to lose focus on living the life I should be living, when I am questioning what I'm reading in the bible (especially the Old Testament). Rather, focus on the basics that you have a firm hold on: God is love, and he wants us to love each other. This is very practical and uncomplicated. If you can share the love of Christ that is in you with others daily, you will have joy, and you will know that you are doing what God wants you to do.
:Pray: Pat
p.s. I wrote this before I saw your latest post, but I thought I'd post it anyway.
Oh dear.. It would be at such a time that I would simply pray "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.."
I have sympathy.. merely reading your account made me feel overwhelmed.. (I do know what a battlefield the mind can be..)
Many have a lot of trouble with the wars of the Old Testament and the strictness of the law for Israel - so there be a small place somewhat prepared for Messiah - What if God wiped out Isis? No more beheadings of innocent folk.. would that too be considered too harsh? Even tho they will be resurrected and reconciled and ultimately live with immense joy and peace like all others..?
The wars God sanctioned were against those whose practice it was to put babies live in fire as sacrifice to their 'gods'.. But I think part of the trouble is how these days the culture says we should have sympathy for the criminal rather than the victim.. But God doesn't have to think that way.. Other wars are history.. fall away from God nation and the shield of protection God has put around you is sure to wear away and those who hate you are sure to come to devour.
But we are told, as sister Sheila pointed out, to put on and wear God's armor.. the belt of truth (vs all untruth) the chestplate of rightness which covers the heart. We know God loves us and we love Him.. the mighty covering shield of faith (trust that He is perfect and all He does is perfect - in order to bring about the best outcome - perfect, including allowing imperfection, a by product of choice which in turn is a by product of being able to think - run its course.. Otherwise, no thinking ability? Yes, I used to have to pray Jesus, Jesus, Jesus about some of these things.. and these are the answers I recieved which have given me much greater strength and peace and great joy.. But it's extremely hard to pass along this, imo, truth, which has set me free..
Otherwise, I would say, to "look up". Look up to the 3rd heavens.. past the 1st which is earth's atmosphere and within which the birds fly.. the bigger birds flying in midheaven.. the 2nd heavens being the stars, the universe.. and the 3rd heaven being beyond that.. which I think of as the place of great joy.. of dancing and singing.. and quietness.. quietness of mind.. I think it is of good benefit to learn how to, and practice quietness of mind.. shield of trust is needed?
:Pray: :Pray:
Daniel, I would advise to "blame" everything you can on the illness. I'm sure you've studied what kind of confusion and chaos it can cause. Now, satan may seize upon an opportunity and torment us by our vulnerabilities, but again, the illness just complicates things all the more. If you trust Christ as your Savior, and have called on Him for salvation, then Paul said the things he didn't want to do were no longer him doing it, but the sin dwelling in him. I'd say relax some, let go, let Christ - live more in the grace that is Him and that He provides. When we are weak, He is strong. We can't, but He can.
also, maybe read the psalms for awhile for comfort
Quote from: jabcat on September 04, 2017, 11:58:07 PM
Daniel, I would advise to "blame" everything you can on the illness. I'm sure you've studied what kind of confusion and chaos it can cause. Now, satan may seize upon an opportunity and torment us by our vulnerabilities, but again, the illness just complicates things all the more. If you trust Christ as your Savior, and have called on Him for salvation, then Paul said the things he didn't want to do were no longer him doing it, but the sin dwelling in him. I'd say relax some, let go, let Christ - live more in the grace that is Him and that He provides. When we are weak, He is strong. We can't, but He can.
Amen! There's very good advice! Very sensible! Praying it for you brother believer Daniel..
Also
Quote from: jabcat on September 05, 2017, 12:12:51 AM
also, maybe read the psalms for awhile for comfort
:Pray: :HeartThrob:
I used to be in spiritual warfare;
By His mercy, no longer.
But that never started to happen until literally giving everything to Him; taking up the cross daily to rely on Christ and zero self.
Romans 8;38,39 " FOR I AM CONVINCED that neither death nor life,
NOR ANGELS, NOR RULERS, NOR THINGS PRESENT, NOR THINGS TO COME,
NOR POWERS,
nor height, nor depth,
NOR ANY OTHER CREATED THING,
will be able to separate us from the LOVE OF GOD IN CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD."
What Christ did for us is the shield of faith- His faith, not ours.
The helmet is knowing we are saved by Him.
The breastplate of righteousness is what He did for us that puts us in our position.
The sword is the word- which the enemy is trying to take from your hand.
The things around us are temporary in the scheme of things so we are told to think of heavenly things {Col 3;1-12}
I.M.O the accuser is pointing out your mistakes and weaknesses;
Paul boasts in his weaknesses because he realised/had been shown/ when he was weak, it was Christ that covered everything, not him.
The things of this age are temporary, the things to come are eternal.
I remember my days of calling to the Lord for rescue.. then over the years I think we begin to trust.. for when we ask Him to come to our rescue, He ALWAYS does.. then we begin to call out to Him for rescue, KNOWING He always answers.. Yes, the Lord will win this battle for you!
Thank you for the many kind words.
Sometimes I enjoy reading the bible but I had to learn to be selective. And to factor in the changes Jesus brought to the jewish system. When Moses brought the law and Jesus brought grace and truth, what is law without truth? It means the Law doesn't have so much truth in it. Spiritually interpreted, if you get into the Hebrew and into the multiple meanings of the texts, the law is a blessing too, but taken literally like the Jews did in Jesus' time, it is only the power of sin and sin becomes artificial and too big to handle. I also do not think that every human is really so bad, or that the Flood of Noah really happened. A differentiated approach is in order, I think.
The book of Job is really good if you get the multiple meanings. It's like the whole bible in one book. It's teeming with Spirit and wisdom. I mean, if you get the multiple meanings then this book offers advice upon advice on what to do with troubles in the spiritual life. Call your neighbors, do not do it alone, when bandits come they only destroy the house, the people become like dead but they are not killed if they stick together.
Death is often a synonyme in hebrew script. Instead of being a living follower, there were dead followers who always wanted to be told what to do and who didn't have their own thoughts. The living way is much harder to do but also more rewarding.
My favourite scripture is the one of Jesus with the adulteress they brought to him to be stoned. Jesus explains his relation to punishment here, that only the sinless can punish someone, and he was the only sinless one and didn't want to punish anybody. That's so full of Christ and of the Holy Spirit. God as a power who liberates everyone into the light...
QuoteMy favourite scripture is the one of Jesus with the adulteress they brought to him to be stoned. Jesus explains his relation to punishment here, that only the sinless can punish someone, and he was the only sinless one and didn't want to punish anybody. That's so full of Christ and of the Holy Spirit. God as a power who liberates everyone into the light...
Yes Daniel , I can see that :HeartThrob: :dsunny: . I remember when UR became more real to me , When I read , Jesus wanted us to pray for our enemies and do good to them . God would love His enemies and do good to them also .
I knew the same God of yesterday , today and tomorrow , never changes ... so how did everyone over the ages get so confused ?
Babylon is that spirit of mixing both worlds , the literal corrupt world and the spiritual world , the incorruptible one of Gods , but this spiritual world can be corrupted by mixing the old and new and trying to make sense of them , as one experience , When there are two different natures working in one person , every person born of the earthly image and bearing also the heavenly image also . Takes two different types of eyes to see this far .
I love the place where Jesus said to the ones under the law and were breaking the law and not even seeing it , But because they said they saw , Jesus told them their sin /error/ stain remained .
I believe Jesus was telling them to let Him/ only innocent one be the judge of everyone , because they were still blind to the truth .
Job is an amazing book of the bible and does not make a lot of sense to the natural mind .
I say this because , What parent can just get over loosing your children and be blessed with getting better ones ?
Just one example of many in the book of Job .
I can see this as some spiritual meaning having a lot better '' fruit of your doings'' / children after your encounter with God and satan given some power by the old law , to destroying your natural world as Job experienced , only to see if He would curse God and all hope would die within him .
I believe when we think so literally , about Gods Word/law it is a very harsh message to understand and keep .
I believe the true peace and joy comes when the spiritual innocent one born within you begins to take a hold and reign control of your new Life / soul in Christ , Gods anointing / doing .
This has helped me receive true peace more than anything else ever, has before, and hope to keep on going to the end .
I think I am coming to a time when I need to be more spiritual and apply what I have learned. When I was still somewhat attached to ET christianity, I was rather legalistic when push comes to shove. I didn't live from grace but from fear and trying to be disciplined. Now I learn to be more grace conscious in Jesus Christ. The sympathy and gentleness of God is more important to me now than the old literal law. I am trying to cling to a humane Christ who does not simply hand out punishments for everyone who does wrong, but instead he is someone who takes it upon himself to enter the situation and become a solution by himself. That's also what trumps all the other religions for me. A faith where the god in the center is also in us and works in us. The baptism into his death and walking in newness of life. Sadly sometimes I have all of this in my mind but somehow part of me detaches from it and holds it improbable to work. That's where I need frequent communion and receiving of blessing. I have this youtube channel, "Daily Effective Prayer" and agapekind's "power of the blood of Jesus" videos. They keep me going and distance me from the awful things my mind or the devil put me into sometimes. But I miss my mother and my family. I guess I have a kind of midlife crisis as I am getting 40 years old next year. I do not have my own family, no wife, children, career, house, friends. It's making me feel a bit lost often. Maybe that's where my depression comes from...
Your last post Daniel, sounds very promising to me! I would focus on and use those videos often as they give you strength.. Seeing where our struggle comes from, or its basis, is half the battle! Or more likely is a lot more than half the battle!
This list of verses is a good strength for U.R. - http://tentmaker.org/forum/rules-and-faq/77-ultimate-reconciliation-and-renewal-scriptures/msg118063/#msg118063
:Chinscratch: maybe I should work on compiling a list of (U.R.) happiness and peace verses, as there is so much reason for happiness and peace.. and truth sets us free..
"God is love" ..."love never fails" .."beneath (you/us) are the everlasting arms.."
Quote from: anti_nietzsche on September 05, 2017, 03:58:55 PM
I guess I have a kind of midlife crisis as I am getting 40 years old next year.
You seem to be asking questions that no-one will answer for you; ergo you seem to be having the hunger for real food stimulated by these circumstances.
By definition- to hunger is to crave of absolute necessity the food required to live and to push aside all else for that food.
Christ is that food and NOTHING else will even dwindle that desire.
By definition to thirst ; painfully conscious of the need of those things by which the soul is refreshed, supported, and strengthened
Christ is the living water;
Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness for they will be filled.
Paul shares about the struggle between flesh and spirit to the Galations in chapter 5;
He then tells us what to focus our thoughts on;
Gal 6;14-16 " But may I never boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ,
through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.
For neither circumcision nor uncircumcision is anything,
BUT A NEW CREATION.
As for all who follow this rule- may peace and mercy be upon them."
" For me to live is Christ, to die is gain."