Trying to salvage my faith

[Tiffani Cappello]

Hello,
As a young adult I began attending a Word of Faith church where we were taught the health and wealth gospel. Unfortunately, my first child was born with birth defects and subsequently died. After some church members tried to raise her from the dead at the hospital and failed, I began to question the theology of the movement. I asked questions that were unacceptable and was not very popular. Soon I refused to attend. 3mo later, the pastor was caught participating in a 4 year affair with the church secretary.

As a result, I began to search for a place to worship and fellowship where folks really took the Bible seriously and wanted to serve and obey God. I tried Plymouth Brethren, Charity Remnant, Calvinism, and finally the last church - an independent fundamentalist baptist CULT. When I say cult, I mean it in every sense of the word. The church members were terrorized by sermons on hell if they are not saved, the possibility of their being deceived about their salvation, that their lives would be destroyed if they ever left the church, that it was our fault so many were going to hell because we were not good testimonies, that we had better parent our children right or they would end up in eternal torment. I could continue with other terrifying doctrines. At one point, I developed anxiety and panic attacks. I was diagnosed with CFIDS.  Later, as I researched this disease, I discovered that it was a stress related disorder caused by my adrenal glands being in a state of exhaustion from stress.

The stress was coming  from my desire to please God from a perfectionistic world view. I began to study and research stress related illness. I discovered what a profound role my theology had in my illness. I had wondered why we were all so sick. Most of my friends also suffered from stress related illness.

I have come pretty close to losing my faith altogether. I knew God could not be loving an send people to an eternal hell for finite sins.  I am now studying Universalism.  When I read the bible I still see so much condemnation and perfectionism. I find it painful to read, because I read it through my legalistic, fundamentalist eyes. I have come here to help me work through some of the difficult passages that seem to indicate that God wants to punish sinners for eternity. I just finished Raising Hell. I loved it, but I still find scriptural difficulties and things that stress me out in scripture, so I find it hard to read. I get physically ill from going to church and reading my bible. I have a counselor who says it is PTSD from spiritual abuse. I find the whole concept of Universalism beautiful and comforting. I want so much to believe that God is that loving, but I do need to see this in scripture. I feel if I cannot reconcile my beliefs with a God of love I can no longer embrace Christianity. To embrace the Christianity I have been involved in previously is to die, because it was killing me physically - the stress of feeling like the universe was run by the fundamentalist God was terrifying. I no longer want to live in fear anymore.

Rather a lengthy intro, but that is who I am and where I am at.

Tiffani

[misszoolander]

Welcome Tiffani  :Peace2:
You have perfectly described the fruit of believing in an eternal hell. BAD FRUIT!
Fruit that causes you to fear God, more than love him  :mshock:
Fruit that causes division and control and promotes self righteousness  :fool:
Fruit that makes you worship Heaven over our Lord.  :pitiful:

I can relate to you on how hard it is to branch out and read the bible from a different faith, it's hard, incredibly hard but trust me our Lord is not a God of confusion, Christian Universalism makes perfect sense, and can comfort anyone and touch anyone.

I have not read Raising Hell, but i do recommend "Hope beyond Hell" it is free online, definitely more scriptural then other books I have read.

Whatever you need to know about the good news, let us know, we will do our best to help you  :friendstu:

Peace and Blessings

Sarah

[anna274]

I've been praying for you since the moment I first read your "introduction"...  so much pain, my heart goes out to you.   At a time when I most needed to believe in a God of love, a friend directed me to John 17... which my friend maintained is the Lord's Prayer to the Father...
It's beautiful and comforting... The verses that spoke to my heart back then still resonate...

V. 23  I in them, and thou in me, that they made be made perfect in one; and the world may know that thou hast sent me, and HAST LOVED THEM, AS THOU HAST LOVED ME.

v. 24 Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am, that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me:  for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world.

v. 25 O righteous Father, the world hath not known thee: but I have known thee, and these have known that thou hast sent me.

v. 26  And I have declared it: that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them.

++++
currently I'm doing a study of the love of God as revealed in the Old Testament....

one of my favorite OT verses is
Jer 31:3
The Lord hath appeared unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.

The word "love" appears over 300 times in the OT...   for many years I saw the God of the OT as being very fierce and terribly unloving... but since I have asked the Holy Spirit to guide me into all truth, He has shown me that even the verses that seemed very unloving, almost cruel back then, have taken on a whole different meaning... truly His love is everlasting...

[shawn]

Tiffani,

I'm very glad you are here.  This is a place of healing and restoration.  We too have been victims of spiritual abuse.  My prayer is you begin a journey where you trust your revelation through relationship...and that this begins a change in your understanding of the Bible and God.  There is much good information here.

[mplsfitter539]

Tiffany,
Welcome to our little gathering place in cyber space. Nice rhyme ey? I hope you find that we are the people you were looking for.

[reFORMer]

To experience God and understand His word is primary.  I'm seeking this from the heart...to know God is love, that He is good without evil and His love is unconditional.  There is a reality of God in manifestation which  responds to our openness to this God we understand to be of all good from Whom descends every good and perfect gift.  This supersedes the cautionary response so many make, wagging the finger and saying, "Yes, but you have to have a balance.  God is love; but, He punishes.  He's holy and hates sin."  I've come to better understand this is a barrier to truly knowing the God Who only is good.  The balanced sword hangs above the mantlepiece, delivering no one.

The altar of sacrifice where judgement for sin is made and cleansing from sin at the laver these are in the outer court.  The tabernacle is the holy place and the holy of holies.  By God's choosing, His appointment and acts we are born of the spirit.  In the holy place there is much activity of men.  The concern now is the oil in the lampstand, which is the Eclessia upon which the fire rests.  The oil must be harvested and processed.  We keep it filled.  This is the anointing that flows through the 66 (Bible) parts of the lamp.  The fresh bead of faces must be changed everyday.  Seedtime and harvest, grinding and passing through the fire, much work of men at the things of God to here present the fresh loaf, His holy ones walking in the daily word coming upon us, the relevant rhema and to bring forth the secret mixture according to the art of the apothecary to create the scent of the presence of God, the ascending prayer of the saints.

These concerns of God's priesthood are different than the preoccupation with the good and evil in the outer court.  Yet we are entering on in, passing through another veil.  When your full of lunch you're not hungry for supper.  Yet we must appear in this feast of tabernacles, the manifestation of the Sons of God.  It is the holy of holies to which we advance, from 30, to 60, to 100 fold.  Notice how all the business about sin is in the outer court?  The holiest is where the Shekinah (feminine) rests upon the Mercy throne.  Between the two cherebim, the tree of good and evil on one side and life on the other, between them the lovingkindness, the chesed, is the Mercy Throne.  This "mercy" is the ardor to fulfill what is wanting.  It is the passion from covenantal love in action meeting the need.  The lovingkindness that is better than life, Shekinah glory rests on the mercy, a fountain flowing out, down from the heights from the center, the holiest, the peak of the kingdom to become four rivers.

The 100-fold see "Jesus is Savior of All," just as it is written in Holy Scripture.  He left the 99 til he had found the one lost.  99 + 1 = 100-fold!

17 For if, by the offense of the one, death reigns through the one, much rather, those obtaining the superabundance of grace and the gratuity of righteousness shall be reigning in life through the One, Jesus Christ.
18 Consequently, then, as it was through one offense for all mankind for condemnation, thus also it is through one just award for all mankind for life's justifying.
19 For even as, through the disobedience of the one man, the many were constituted sinners, thus also, through the obedience of the One, the many shall be constituted just. (Romans 5^17-19, Concordant Literal)

[jabcat]

Welcome Tiffany.  Blessings, peace, and comfort.

Nice post James (reFORMer), thanks.

[mplsfitter539]

I agree with Jabcat great post reformer. Your gift of the spirit is evidenced in your posts. I am beginning to get a feel for this place and the wonderful spirit filled people here. I have honestly begun to see all of you as super heros with your own gifts to share with the whole unit. Each one here has a special gift that sets them apart from the others yet that gift is always harmonizing with the rest.  :banana:

[marie glen]

Oh My Goodness!!! :feint: I have surely lived a sheltered adulthood!

Welcome, Tiffani, :hiya: I hope you find great calm and peace in our loving heavenly Father's Spirit..

I'm thinking more than ever i'm lucky to have been mostly a spiritual hermit in my 33+ years in the faith.. When I did try gathering with others I found myself cold and outside the group.. I didn't speak in the crowd's special dialect and way of speaking so
they couldn't hear me speak
and thought I was a freak..

Which worked out ok as I learned straight from the Bible and also once we learn something via God's Spirit it becomes a part of us..

I've always held that there's lots and lots of hurting people in the world, even as believers, and to me the most healing thing is the Quietness that is in God's Presence. And I can see Jesus breaking bread and passing it to us.. and the wine.. his 'eve of his crucifixion' demonstration and instructions.. the Rx / prescription for our healing :cloud9:

For years I stuck strictly with the New Testament and the Psalms (except for cross references and such) and am only now rereading the Bible from the very beginning. Most of us don't realize what God was up against in the Old Testament, He wanted a place for Messiah to be born through and into and mankind was into some pretty hairy stuff they were doing to others, so thank goodness He stepped in a time or two.. I only mention this because in out world today there is such a strong and very prevalent idea of how 'bad' the God of the Bible is..

But we know and are learning more and more, that Jesus "is the express image of His person, the perfect expression of who He is.." For deep healing I felt like the Lord told me there are four gospel (good news) accounts and four seasons and i could saturate my days with His Word and His (Quiet) Spirit by reading one gospel each season.. and start my day with a psalm, these i divided into jan 1-20; feb 20's, march 30's, etc.. til dec 120-150's.. and i read the letters in the order they are believed to be written. It may sound extreme, but it worked for me. I live in my own little inner monastery.. it's lit by candlelight.. and there's warming fires in the hearths.. with many gardens and cozy nooks inside and out.. The noise of the crowds is quieted, and even on a day I can't hear His quiet voice, I know He's there. All I need do is rest..

There's lots of great articles on Tentmaker, you probably know of this list - "Scholar's Corner"?
http://tentmaker.org/ScholarsCorner.html
I also think having a Hebrew/Greek concordance or lexicon is very helpful. I'll never forget the first time I tried to find "forever"... Of course it's the italics which is closest to the original word, but still man's psyche has seeped in a little, via the Greek, what with only having "hades" ("place of the dead") to represent "sheol" ("the grave" which in my understanding is still the resting place of the waiting to be raised).

So many don't realize that although the world is the way it is, we can totally "rest" in knowing the God who is love, is in full and loving control.. with our own salvation and well being, and in every body else's, and the whole world. Life as we presently know it is an unavoidable journey and lesson.. if there's to be thinking ability / rational creatures, that is. Since God Himself (Life/Perfection) opened the Pandora's box by endowing thinking ability thus sooner or later the ability to choose.. He Himself is responsible (albeit sort of indirectly) for all evils and sufferings which ever occur.. So He built the FULL and worldwide / universal rescue (from im-perfection the opposite of God/Life). Col 1:20 - "all things in heaven and earth are being gathered into Jesus."

He has done, and is doing all things in order to bring about the best of all possibilities. Because He is Life (itself, and love) he experiences, suffers and lives through all sufferings which ever occur. Why would He put himself through all that? Because (surely?) he's not creating an ant farm or robots but His very own family. And an un-breakable paradise. Un-breakable because upon every heart, mind and psyche will be engraved the full understanding of good from evil, which is also life from death and true from untrue.

Sorry to babble-on so!

[marie glen]

reFORMer,

I especially like what you wrote about the "outer court"... and your mathematical equation about 100-fold! :gsmile: :gthumbsup: awesome!

..and I see you have not only a heart for God and His Word, but also the heart of a poet..

[mplsfitter539]

marie don't apologize for babbling on its your super power (gift) you do it so well  :banana:

[marie glen]

..thank-you dear! :gsmile:

[lomarah]

Welcome Tiffani!! So glad to have you here. I am sure that times of refreshing are about to come to you from the Father.  :HeartThrob: :HeartThrob: :HeartThrob: Your story is not unlike many of ours. I hope you will stick around and be blessed here.  :HeartThrob:

Much love to you sis.  :HeartThrob:

And goodness, reading everyone's posts on here I just gotta say... I love you all so dearly!  :HeartThrob:

[marie glen]

...I just gotta say... I love you all so dearly!  :HeartThrob:

:gsmile: :gthumbsup: Just think how glorious when all the world (universe) can say the same thing!!!

[lomarah]

I can't wait Marie.  :HeartThrob:

[eaglesway]

Our esteemed member roger tutt has a similar testimony, even to the point of a nervous breakdown that the dilemna the false gospel of hell and eternal torment caused him. The scriptures, when properly translated, are clear that "all things in heaven, and on earth" will be reconciled to God.

Eph 1:9-12
(9)  He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He purposed in Him with a view to an administration suitable to the fullness of the times, that is, the summing up of all things in Christ, things in the heavens and things on the earth. In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will, to the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ would be to the praise of His glory.

We are only the first-fruits.

Jas 1:18  In the exercise of His will He brought us forth by the word of truth, so that we would be a kind of first fruits among His creatures.

Our purpose is to set the WHOLE CREATION free into the freedom we have been given in Christ, both now and in the ages to come.



Eph 2:4-7  But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,  even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,  so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

Rev 20:6  Blessed and holy is he that hath part in the first resurrection: on such the second death hath no power, but they shall be priests of God and of Christ, and shall reign with him a thousand years.

Rev 1:5-6  And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,  And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

His kindness to us is predestined to be His kindness through us- to the entire universe and everyone in it.

Rom 8:16-22  The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God.  For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now.

This was all made possible through the blood of the cross, by which God ALWAYS PLANNED TO RECONCILE ALL THINGS!

Col 1:13-21  For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.  He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.  He is also head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything.  For it was the Father's good pleasure for all the fullness to dwell in Him,  and through Him to reconcile ALL THINGS to Himself, having made peace through the blood of His cross; through Him, I say, whether things on earth or things in heaven. And you, that were at one time alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, He has now reconciled .....


2Co 5:17-19  Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.  And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;  To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, NOT IMPUTING THEIR TRESPASSES UNTO THEM; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.




God has forgiven the sins of the whole world. As Jesus said, "If I am lifted up from the earth I will draw ALL MEN UNTO ME."

1Jn 2:1-2  My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous;  and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and NOT FOR OURS ONLY, but also for those of the whole world.

There will be judgment and everyone will know it in the proper time ,  "For every one shall be salted with fire, and every sacrifice shall be salted with salt." Mar 9:49

We are in the fire now, our faith being purified. Eventually all will be in the fire of God, "Until every hidden thing is brought to light"...until, "Every knee bows and every tongue confess..."


But for those of us who have believed in the death burial and resurrection of Jesus, the condemnation is passed- UNLESS WE CONDEMN OTHERS.(readthe first two chapters of Romans) "I did not come to judge(condemn) the world- I came so the world could be saved through me"-

And it will be......


For God has shut up ALL in disobedience so that He may show mercy to ALL.  Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, OR WHO BECAME HIS COUNSELOR?  Or WHO HAS FIRST GIVEN TO HIM THAT IT MIGHT BE PAID BACK TO HIM AGAIN?   For from Him and through Him and to Him are ALL THINGS. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.
Rom 11:32-36

John saw it in the apocalypse(Rv 5:13), so shall it be- just as Paul explained in Romans 8 and Philippians 2:10,11, "Every knee shall bow and every tongue confess, whether in heaven, on earth, or under the earth- that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father".

Rev 5:13  And every created thing which is in heaven and on the earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all things in them, I heard saying, "To Him who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb, be blessing and honor and glory and dominion forever and ever."

Rejoice little ones! Weep no more! Our God is a shepherd who at times must be stern and carries both rod and staff, but only till the chastised one is ready to repent and be delivered- until the wheat is separated from the chaff. This is what the fire of God is for and shall in the end usher all His creation from the least to the greatest into the glory of His love- a divine, universal union through Jesus, His Son, who testifies (the testimony of Jesus IS the spirit of prophecy), and His testimony is true.

Rev 21:5 And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I AM MAKING ALL THINGS NEW." And He *said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true."

This what the fire of God is for.....

1Co 15:22-28  For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.  But every man in his own order: Christ the firstfruits; afterward they that are Christ's at his coming.  Then cometh the end, when he shall have delivered up the kingdom to God, even the Father; when he shall have put down all rule and all authority and power.  For he must reign, till he hath put all enemies under his feet.  The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death. For he hath put all things under his feet. But when he saith all things are put under him, it is manifest that he is excepted, which did put all things under him. And when all things shall be subdued unto him, then shall the Son also himself be subject unto him that put all things under him, that God may be ALL IN ALL.

He has made known unto us the mystery of His will. It is not that billions will be tormented forever. It is not that billions will be destroyed forever. It is that all the adversaries- EVEN AS WE ALSO ONCE WERE, will be gathered into one in Christ, and returned to the Father that GOD MAY BE ALL IN ALL.


http://tentmaker.org/forum/discussions-on-universal-salvation/snippets-from-the-hard-copy-ur-library-of-rodger-tutt/

[marie glen]

http://tentmaker.org/forum/discussions-on-universal-salvation/snippets-from-the-hard-copy-ur-library-of-rodger-tutt/

I was thinking of posting Roger Tutt's thread as he's posted so much info and lists of articles and books.. although I've only read the last three or four pages..

Absolutely great scriptures..

? Is that the wheel within wheel you've spoken of (I think it was you!) When I was reading I was seeing like a horn within a horn.. all things in Christ.. and then some (accomplished) through His body..

[eaglesway]

? Is that the wheel within wheel you've spoken of (I think it was you!) When I was reading I was seeing like a horn within a horn.. all things in Christ.. and then some (accomplished) through His body..

Yea, thats sorta how I see it (thru the glass darkly ;o), wheels within wheels, eyes all about, moving like lightning wherever theSpirit wills them

All those who are led by the Spirit even these are the sons of God........The wind blows where it wills and you hear the sound but you don't know from where it is coming or where it is going- so it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.........the man-child within the woman......... the Bride coming down out of heaven.....the whole creation set free from futility into the glorious liberty of the sons of God

To  me all aspects of the revelation of the original promise and plan....   "And I will walk among them and live among them and I will be their God and they shall be my people and the nations will know that I am their God (That the I AM sent them and dwells within them)

The restoration of all things spoken of by all the prophets since the beginning.

What a Mighty God we serve!

"And the voice of the Lord walked with Adam in the garden in the cool of the day"

[Lazarus Short]

Welcome to Tentmaker!  I hope you stay awhile, share, and learn with us.  The Truth is out there, and so is rest.  :friendstu:

[mplsfitter539]

Welcome to Tentmaker!  I hope you stay awhile, share, and learn with us.  The Truth is out there, and so is rest.  :friendstu:

Good to see your comment here I was beginning to wonder if you were on sabbatical or something of the sort. Laz my ATS buddy!! :banana:

[Lazarus Short]

Welcome to Tentmaker!  I hope you stay awhile, share, and learn with us.  The Truth is out there, and so is rest.  :friendstu:

Good to see your comment here I was beginning to wonder if you were on sabbatical or something of the sort. Laz my ATS buddy!! :banana:

No, just busy (getting two mountain bikes ready to ride (%#@*&! Aheadsets)) or nothing particular to say.  I run in cycles, like most things.  Bi-cycles?  :laughing7:

[jbertonbounds]

Welcome, Tiffani!

My eyes filled with tears when I read your introduction.  I thought, "another person hurt by the hell herecy."  You see, my story is also similar to yours!  I called out to God to teach me truth, and this is where he led me - Universal Reconciliation - NO HELL.  ONLY LOVE :HeartThrob: !  I believe that the only punishment there will be for the wicked and unbelieving will be LOVING, TEMPORARY, AND FOR THE PURPOSE OF PURIFICATION SO THAT THEY CAN BE BROUGHT TO GOD IN DUE TIME.  I believe God led you here.  When we call out to God for truth, he is faithful and delivers us from the world's heresies.  God wants you to know him for the love he IS!!! 

KEEP SEARCHING for truth in the Spirit!  Trust God, for he is trustworthy and loving and forgiving, and will not let you down.  You will be blessed and find rest.

Matthew 11:28 - Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

HELL IS A PAGAN MYTH!

[mplsfitter539]

jbertonbounds I didn't need to quote your entire post but I have a question about this part of your statement. I believe that the only punishment there will be for the wicked and unbelieving will be LOVING, TEMPORARY, AND FOR THE PURPOSE OF PURIFICATION SO THAT THEY CAN BE BROUGHT TO GOD IN DUE TIME.  Could you or would you clarify what this means to you? I am asking because I truly want to understand where you are at right now spiritually.  :banana:

[jbertonbounds]

Fitter,

I believe that all humans fit into the following categories:
     faithful believers
     carnal believers
     "good people" who are unbelievers
     "bad people" who are unbelievers
     "good people" who never heard
     "bad people" who never heard
Of course this is a generalization, but I generalize for the purpose of this post.

Now, from what I have seen in the scriptures, I believe that all humans must be purified by spiritual fire, not literal fire.  Some will experience God's judgement in this physical life, as they deny themselves, follow Jesus, and they learn righteousness in the Spirit.  I believe that anyone who experiences the purification after this physical life will be subjected to God's loving, corrective, temporary punishment in the Lake of Fire (spiritual fire, not literal fire).  I have not seen in the scriptures where we are told the exact nature of this Lake of Fire (spiritual fire, not literal fire), and I still debate in my own mind exactly where the line will be drawn in the categories I listed above.  I realize these categories are not cut-and-dried clean categories in reality, as most people probably straddle the lines between categories or are mixtures of one or more.
     

[rosered]

  Dear Tiff ,
just keep trusting in the Lord  that His works are perfect  and complete

and the faith will come when He shows you on a personal level just how near He is to you  and doing things in your life that  you cannot understand ,

keep praying to Him and asking Him for help to understand and  keep asking Him for His peace  , He is soooooooooo  faithful as promised  , you will not be able to  do anything ,

but cry in sweet release  of just how  wonderful  and awesome Gods Love is for you and us all  , He teaches us as we go  into  blind faith  , leading the way  and always doing whats best for all  ,   this has been mine own personal experience  with the Lord over many years of mine own failures and trials and troubles  and questions  tons of questions

    begging for some help  , God bless you sister , your true journey has begun  , and the end  we do see Jesus  :HeartThrob: