Like many, many people, I was raised in a church that used hell to motivate people to be saved. When I was 10?, I became inconsolable over the thought that I was bound for hell and told my father I wanted to be baptized. It was Christmas Eve, but he made it happen.
I can't attribute my malformation entirely to this teaching. I grew up psychologically abused from an early age, and it was reinforced at school and, obviously, at church. I think this tends to turn a person's attention inside themselves -- to make them self-centered, even self-obsessed; but the prospect of eternal torment is the knockout punch in that regard. It's the eternal nightmare from which one can never escape.
This orientation makes loving other people, and even loving God, more difficult. Self-protection becomes one's constant concern, until it becomes so deeply engrained that it becomes a part of how you relate to everyone; and I think this is one of the strongest arguments against eternal torment: that it makes Christianity about protecting oneself rather than about loving others.
One of the things that surprised me, after accepting UR, was that I found a new capacity to love others and to love God; but it seems to come and go. What I find distressing is that my upbringing and adult life to that point seem to have warped me so badly that I think I may never escape their effects. On the other hand, I have also seen the power of God's Spirit change things; so, there is hope. I think change of this magnitude takes place through prayer -- contemplative, not petitionary.
While I no longer accept the doctrine of eternal torment rationally, I have not stopped fearing it. I do see progress in that regard, but it's slow. But as the fear wanes, my capacity for love increases. I just wish I weren't finding this at the end of my life.
Dear Ann: welcome to our Tent. Each of us has a distinct history in this realm of things. It is in this sphere our Father Abba reaches for us with His incredible love and enablement. He turns our scars into stars as He folds us into Himself.
Literally NOTHING can keep us from the love of God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Romans 8:38,39 gives a pretty comprehensive list of that surround us, yet what Christ has done goes way beyond those things.
Because of Jesus we are now sons and daughters of the most high God- His love NEVER FAILS.
Quote from: Ann on August 25, 2022, 01:51:34 PM
Like many, many people, I was raised in a church that used hell to motivate people to be saved. When I was 10?, I became inconsolable over the thought that I was bound for hell and told my father I wanted to be baptized. It was Christmas Eve, but he made it happen.
I can't attribute my malformation entirely to this teaching. I grew up psychologically abused from an early age, and it was reinforced at school and, obviously, at church. I think this tends to turn a person's attention inside themselves -- to make them self-centered, even self-obsessed; but the prospect of eternal torment is the knockout punch in that regard. It's the eternal nightmare from which one can never escape.
This orientation makes loving other people, and even loving God, more difficult. Self-protection becomes one's constant concern, until it becomes so deeply engrained that it becomes a part of how you relate to everyone; and I think this is one of the strongest arguments against eternal torment: that it makes Christianity about protecting oneself rather than about loving others.
One of the things that surprised me, after accepting UR, was that I found a new capacity to love others and to love God; but it seems to come and go. What I find distressing is that my upbringing and adult life to that point seem to have warped me so badly that I think I may never escape their effects. On the other hand, I have also seen the power of God's Spirit change things; so, there is hope. I think change of this magnitude takes place through prayer -- contemplative, not petitionary.
While I no longer accept the doctrine of eternal torment rationally, I have not stopped fearing it. I do see progress in that regard, but it's slow. But as the fear wanes, my capacity for love increases. I just wish I weren't finding this at the end of my life.
great post Anne...similar to me altho I'm over my fear of ECT...keep on keepin on !