For the music lovers

[Lonely Summer]

There was a request in a previous thread for some of my music, I finally got some stuff on myspace. I'm technologically illiterate, I had to have someone do it for me. Anyway, the link is on the front page of my website, http://community.webtv.net/lonelysummer. As far as I know I'm not breaking any rules by posting this here. If I am, go ahead and remove it. I try to pratice proper "netiquette"...well most of the time :)

[Lonely Summer]

Okay, I put it up there, nobody was interested, don't know what to do now. I guess I've just been fooling myself for a long time that I had been given musical talent by God. No point in playing when no one is listening. God Himself is probably up there saying "why doesn't he get a clue and stop this?" I don't know what I'm supposed to do with my life. My work is meaningless, I'm not contributing anything to the world, just going through the motions because that's all I know how to do. I've been preached to all my life, but I've never heard that voice from heaven saying "this is what I want you to do". Does anyone here know how it feels to be truly alone? Will I burn in the lake of fire or hell or whatever name you give it? How many prayers does one have to say before they finally "get it"? I've thought of suicide before, attempted it a couple times. I guess I'm too cowardly to do it. Afraid of God's wrath, but I sure don't see that I have any purpose here on earth. Just passing time till the body gives it up.

[Lefein]

You very silly person.  Don't you know that your worth is not in your gifts?  Your skills?  Your hard labours, and projects - whether successful or not?

You are an infinitely significant individual, whose worth is far more valuable and far too priceless to be expressible by the finite powers of gifts, skills, and projects - artistic or not. 

You are not "meaningless" just because you don't have some mystical gnostic knowledge from on high about what you are supposed to do with your life, or what your "purpose" is - you might have to do as the rest of us and step out into faith, seeing the unseen.  :thumbsup:

How do you know you are not contributing anything to the world?  Have you been God to see how the little things you do every day, even without knowing it, affects those in a positive way around you?  Certainly not!  And I tell you this, even the smallest thing done to benefit in the smallest way, any other infinitely significant individual benefits the Whole of which is made up of other infinitely significant individuals; What is beneficial to one, benefits All.  And yes, indeed we do know what it is like to be truly alone, how it feels, and how much it freezes the heart - but don't be silly in thinking that just because you feel alone - you are...because you're not alone.  And I'm sure you've benefited plenty of people, and that is purpose and worth enough.

Most people never hear a voice out of Heaven telling people what to do...that's usually for deaf people who have to hear God yelling loudly from across the room.  I'm pretty certain God has some wisdom in him enough to know you're not all so deaf and stupid as they are; that the only way for you to "know what I must do" is to hear him shout it down at you as if you are some common servant without two pieces of a brain for each half.  You're his son!  Smarter than the servants I'm sure, closer to him too; and for that he speaks in the soft whispers as a Father to his child in the tucking in times of bed time.

Go out and do the right thing where you see you can, listen to the little things, consider the lilies of the field, and play your music, and use your gifts, and use your skills as an expression of your infinite worth - but in the name of Jesus Son of God stop selling yourself so short and basing all of your God given infinite worth on gifts that are finite at best, or even worse so basing those gifts on whether or not fallen, fallible, fickle people appreciate those God given gifts.

You'll contribute to the world by being there, and being good - before being a gifted musician (though certainly if you are a musician that is perfectly wonderful too, and God loves the musician).  A tone deaf person who gives back the right amount of change, is honest, and does the good will of his Father is more talented than the top ten celebrities who've made their way to the top through sex, money, and sin.  Just because you haven't gotten enough attention doesn't mean you don't have the gifts - and you are more precious to God and other people in your life to be "worthless" or "meaningless", and don't you forget it.

Understand?

I do not mean to yell at you, only to encourage you stiffly.  Because I too am an artist (I made my avatar for example) - and from one artist to another, I want you to succeed.  And sometimes that requires a little bit of tough love.  :boyheart:

PS: I'll look at your music, by the way, if I can - or when I can.

[jabcat]

I too know some of that despair.  But I'll suggest God's not through with you yet.  What He wants is us, our surrender to Him - and then HE is strong, and lives and works through us.

A good word above from Lefein, and I too will go listen.  I believe when you first posted the link I was at work, and I can't see streaming video from here most of the time.  I forgot about it, but I'll check it out though from home.   

Paraphrase - "don't worry or fret about what you're going to eat or wear.  Look at the flowers in the field and the birds in the air.   God takes care of them and their needs.  How much more He cares for you.  He will take care of you".   This life can seem like a long time, but in the whole picture, it's a small time, a drop in the ocean.  It's temporary/temporal.  He wants us to surrender to Him and praise Him, good or "bad" - because even the "bad" is going to be brought to good "for those who love the Lord". 

[micah7:9]

Got a minute? :laughing7: Amen

[shawn]

I liked the song Lonely Summer...kinda got an Axl Rose thing going on.  Reminded me of November Rain.  Your softer stuff is your niche.

With that said, Lefein is correct.  Sometimes we need to ask ourselves some very tough questions.  I have chased success, significance through accolades and recognition.  I have traveled the road of trying to conquer talents that could bring me fame and money.  We sometimes like to wrap selfish things up in a pious package.  "I want to serve God with this talent", but in reality we are really hoping God blesses our plans for recognition.

It comes from a place of insecure arrogance.  We need people to tell us we are ok.  When this blooms to fullness it sabotages relationships through neediness, and leaves us by ourselves.  It's no way to live.  Don't chase the words and eyes of men, but live in the love of Christ knowing you are a child of God.

I dont know you or your situation but if any of that stuck then reading what Lefein said above and internalizing it will put you on that path of success...the kind God wants for you.

[Molly]

wow I missed this thread somehow.

You are so talented!!  Thank you for sharing your music with us!

[Molly]

Does anyone here know how it feels to be truly alone?

Yes, I do.  I rarely feel that way anymore, even though I guess you could say I'm more alone than ever.  God is very much in my life now, not to mention all his angels.  Don't give up--it will get better.

[micah7:9]

Took a minute...you have some good sounds.. didnt listen to all but what I heard was fine :bigGrin:

[CHB]

Lefein, that was a really good post. LS, maybe God wants to use you in other areas that would be more of a blessing to others than your music. I am just wondering here.  :dontknow:  By the way, thanks for the music.

CHB

[Molly]

I think God gives us talents for a reason.

Music is one of my favorite things and I would love to be able to make music the way LS does.  He probably doesn't even realize that that is impossible for most people.  If you put me in front of an instrument, I just sit there and stare.  No idea what to do.

You have been given a great talent for a reason, LS.  Keep using it and giving it to the world.  Your gift is God's gift. :HeartThrob:

[Lonely Summer]

Thank you all for your kind words. As you can probably tell, I have a major problem with depression. Been fighting it all my life, sometimes are worse than others. Lately it has been very bad. This week I am doing a little bit better, but facing a lot of challenges in my life, and sometimes it just wears me down.

[Lefein]

I understand friend.  Depression can be hard.

But do not be worried, be anxious for nothing.  This can be difficult to do also - but maybe you just need a bit of a holiday.  Nothing expensive, but even Jesus had some alone time, and rest time, and he is the Lord of the Sabbath - and that means that he surely partook of what was in those days "vacation" (before the Pharisees ruined it...).

Have a little holiday if you can, do something positive for yourself, and enjoy some time having fun and being a child of God.  Children have need of play, and nonsense, or else they get depressed and have no strength to deal with the challenges that come their way.

[shawn]

Thank you all for your kind words. As you can probably tell, I have a major problem with depression. Been fighting it all my life, sometimes are worse than others. Lately it has been very bad. This week I am doing a little bit better, but facing a lot of challenges in my life, and sometimes it just wears me down.

I know a bit about depression myself, and it can be crippling.  Do I still get depressed? Yes.  Do, I get depressed like I used to?  No.

What brought me some relief was this evolving knowledge of who I really am in Christ.  I am not a diploma, a record deal, a bank account, a church position, or anything of the like.  That was how I seen me, how I thought others seen me and it sabatoged my views of how God sees me.  Learning to accept ourselves, and appreciate God's handiwork in us is a crucial step in not only handling depression but in our walk with Christ.

I will state something so obvious that it might sound silly, but it was a light bulb moment for me.  Just because I think something doesn't make it true, nor does it make it my reality.  Just because depressive thoughts come, doesn't mean I need to feed them.  Sometimes those of us who get depressed get a sick melancholy pleasure out of feeding the depression.  Today, when depression comes, and it does I try to refocus my thinking.  I try to dwell on the good, make a gratitude list, pray, read scripture, hang out with my gals, get out, make myself interact with others (even though its a bit painful at the time), get some stuff done around the house...and ultimately get through the day.  I know it's darkest before the dawn, and this too shall pass.  I have found some relief...some rest and I hope that you find yours.