Are All Universalists "Old Folk?"

[rosered]

What do you think about all the things Paul had to say to the church about doctrine, contending for sound doctrine, watching out for those who bring division, who teach and lead others astray, etc.?  Again - I seem to keep needing to say this  :laughing7: - I believe in love  -   but IMO, there's more in there than "love".

Jesus never expected any of His followers to be bible scholars, and intellectually understand what someone considers to be "sound doctrine." Jesus wanted His followers to understand His principles of "love each other as I have loved you" - period. Most people were illiterate anyway at that time.  Jesus came to reveal the unambiguous true nature of God - which is love. And His life, death and resurrection demonstrated that love perfectly. We are to demonstrate that same love for each other. That IS the Gospel.

Dear Birdsong
 
I do believe we are living in a very hostile word and those chosen  out of the world to follow Jesus are sheep to the slaughter 
we have to believe Jesus , perfect example  killed at the hands of sinners 
all the   TRUE prophets were as well  as all the apostles
its seems  murder is in the hearts of the wicked guised to be keeping Babylon safe for centuries 
Matt 24 warns  Jesus warns  the love of many grow cold because sin abounds  in the world   , but Gods grace is our  salvation , to die is gain as Paul says to elouquently  :)
  discerning evil  and good is part of the  glory of Gods plan 

got hate the evil  and its so well appearing  ''outwardly ''


4 Jesus told them, "Don't let anyone mislead you, 5 for many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Messiah.' They will deceive many.

6 And you will hear of wars and threats of wars, but don't panic. Yes, these things must take place, but the end won't follow immediately.

7 Nation will go to war against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in many parts of the world. 8 But all this is only the first of the birth pains, with more to come.

9 "Then you will be arrested, persecuted, and killed. You will be hated all over the world because you are my followers.[b]

10 And many will turn away from me and betray and hate each other.

11 And many false prophets will appear and will deceive many people. 12 Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold.


13 But the one who endures to the end will be saved.
14 And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations[c] will hear it; and then the end will come.


15 "The day is coming when you will see what Daniel the prophet spoke about—the sacrilegious object that causes desecration[d] standing in the Holy Place." (Reader, pay attention!)


16 "Then those in Judea must flee to the hills.

17 A person out on the deck of a roof must not go down into the house to pack.

18 A person out in the field must not return even to get a coat.

19 How terrible it will be for pregnant women and for nursing mothers in those days. 20 And pray that your flight will not be in winter or on the Sabbath.

21 For there will be greater anguish than at any time since the world began.

  And it will never be so great again. 22 In fact, unless that time of calamity is shortened, not a single person will survive. But it will be shortened for the sake of God's chosen ones.

23 "Then if anyone tells you, 'Look, here is the Messiah,' or 'There he is,' don't believe it. 24 For false messiahs and false prophets will rise up and perform great signs and wonders so as to deceive, if possible, even God's chosen ones. 25 See, I have warned you about this ahead of time.


26 "So if someone tells you, 'Look, the Messiah is out in the desert,' don't bother to go and look. Or, 'Look, he is hiding here,' don't believe it! 27 For as the lightning flashes in the east and shines to the west, so it will be when the Son of Man[e] comes. 28 Just as the gathering of vultures shows there is a carcass nearby, so these signs indicate that the end is near.[f]

29 "Immediately after the anguish of those days,

the sun will be darkened,
    the moon will give no light,
the stars will fall from the sky,
    and the powers in the heavens will be shaken.[g]

30 And then at last, the sign that the Son of Man is coming will appear in the heavens, and there will be deep mourning among all the peoples of the earth. And they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.[h] 31 And he will send out his angels with the mighty blast of a trumpet, and they will gather his chosen ones from all over the world—from the farthest ends of the earth and heaven.

  what end  does salvation come but by death , it is the last enemy 
we can take this spiritually as well  as literally     both are truthful sayings

[jabcat]

Thanks for bringing Jesus' words into the discussion rosie, from that [balanced  IMO, rightly dividing)] perspective.  There are a lot of specifics to bring into it from Paul, who I believe was teaching us, the ekklesia after the cross in this "church" age - but again, I'm glad you mentioned those words of our Savior.  I hadn't thought of those.  Thanks.

[BirdSong]

Thanks for bringing Jesus' words into the discussion rosie, from that [balanced  IMO, rightly dividing)] perspective.  There are a lot of specifics to bring into it from Paul, who I believe was teaching us, the ekklesia after the cross in this "church" age - but again, I'm glad you mentioned those words of our Savior.  I hadn't thought of those.  Thanks.

Well, as far as the false prophets rosie, I think everyone in this forum are definitely on the right track (toward the Light).  It's pretty obvious (to me at least) that the false "Christs" that come "in His name" - and the false gospels of hate (eternal torment, annihilation, etc.), rather than love, coming from the majority of churches "out in the desert" (earthly, carnal) - performing worldly "signs and wonders" are exactly what Jesus was referring to.

[eaglesway]

The right track.......

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
(Mat 11:29-30)

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
(Luk 9:23)

MEM. O how love I thy law! it is my meditation all the day. Thou through thy commandments hast made me wiser than mine enemies: for they are ever with me. I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my meditation. I understand more than the ancients, because I keep thy precepts. I have refrained my feet from every evil way, that I might keep thy word.
(Psa 119:97-101)

[rosered]

The right track.......

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
(Mat 11:29-30)

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
(Luk 9:23)

MEM. O how love I thy law! it is my meditation all the day. Thou through thy commandments hast made me wiser than mine enemies: for they are ever with me. I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my meditation. I understand more than the ancients, because I keep thy precepts. I have refrained my feet from every evil way, that I might keep thy word.
(Psa 119:97-101)

Lovely Bro John  :thumbsup:

the fear of the Lord is the begining of Wisdom , but by all means is not the end  of it  complete salvation is

Isa 11:2 And the spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD

[BirdSong]

The right track.......

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
(Mat 11:29-30)

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
(Luk 9:23)

MEM. O how love I thy law! it is my meditation all the day. Thou through thy commandments hast made me wiser than mine enemies: for they are ever with me. I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my meditation. I understand more than the ancients, because I keep thy precepts. I have refrained my feet from every evil way, that I might keep thy word.
(Psa 119:97-101)

:thumbsup:

[reFORMer]

...the fear of the Lord is the begining of Wisdom , but by all means is not the end  of it  complete salvation is

The fear of the Lord is the begining of Wisdom; but, perfect love casts out all fear.

[jbertonbounds]

i felt God call me out of mainstream, and i've often thought of that verse.

Hey Jabcat,
What was it like when you felt God call you out of the mainstream (I assume you mean organized religion)?

[rosered]

...the fear of the Lord is the begining of Wisdom , but by all means is not the end  of it  complete salvation is

The fear of the Lord is the begining of Wisdom; but, perfect love casts out all fear.

I agree with you Bro James   that perfect [complete] matured Love  cast out fear

,   But I believe we have come to  this crude  Human  english languge that  fails us at times  to  communicate as One
    fear    used here in this  verse  of Isaiah   is a word  with also   meaning of Reverence definition, a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe; veneration
Regard or treat with deep respect.  awesome or terrifying

I   do believe we never loose that  deep respect  same as fear of the Lord   described , ever in our relationship  with Him , maybe  it also  grows also as eternal 

I hope your feet are healing , and feeling much better  Bro , you  are in my thoughts  often , and have always  enjoyed your posts

[jbertonbounds]

What do you think about all the things Paul had to say to the church about doctrine, contending for sound doctrine, watching out for those who bring division, who teach and lead others astray, etc.?  Again - I seem to keep needing to say this  :laughing7: - I believe in love  -   but IMO, there's more in there than "love".

Jesus never expected any of His followers to be bible scholars, and intellectually understand what someone considers to be "sound doctrine." Jesus wanted His followers to understand His principles of "love each other as I have loved you" - period. Most people were illiterate anyway at that time.  Jesus came to reveal the unambiguous true nature of God - which is love. And His life, death and resurrection demonstrated that love perfectly. We are to demonstrate that same love for each other. That IS the Gospel.

I see both arguments as valid points, and I'm not sure you aren't both actually making the same point.  There are many illiterate people in the world today.  How can they study the scriptures?  They are mostly too busy just trying to get enough to eat each day to even learn to read.  They depend on others for what spiritual teaching they can get.  God is love.  Love is an integral part of the Gospel.  There is a need to keep out the contamination of heresy.  God's Love does cover all the bases.  It is an act of love on behalf of other believers to strive to keep the gospel message pure.  It is an act of love to take care of other's needs.  If we are truly living in the light of the Love of God, we will be doing all these things for the benefit of others.  IMO, as for the illiterate and those who never heard,

Romans 2 says: 
¹² For all who have sinned without the law will also perish without the law, and all who have sinned under the law will be judged by the law. ¹³ For it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous before God, but the doers of the law who will be justified. ¹⁴ For when Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do what the law requires, they are a law to themselves, even though they do not have the law. ¹⁵ They show that the work of the law is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness, and their conflicting thoughts accuse or even excuse them ¹⁶ on that day when, according to my gospel, God judges the secrets of men by Christ Jesus.

In Revelations we are told that we will all be judged by our deeds, whether good or bad.  God sees what is in the intentions of your heart and what you do with those intentions.  If your life is all about God's love, you will be doing all these things and more! :HeartThrob:

[mplsfitter539]

In Revelations we are told that we will all be judged by our deeds, whether good or bad.  God sees what is in the intentions of your heart and what you do with those intentions.  If your life is all about God's love, you will be doing all these things and more!Well said brother jbertonbounds. Sort of like saying climb on board the ark now cause its gonna start raining soon. The later rain is just on the horizon. I am a 50 year old surfer and I can tell you that the wave you want to be on has to be the one you see on the horizon. I really need to go back to Costa Rica and spend some time again. Spent 3 years of my life there surfing and really getting into God.

[rosered]

Romans 2 says: 
12 For all who have sinned without the law will also perish without the law, and all who have sinned under the law will be judged by the law. 13 For it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous before God, but the doers of the law who will be justified. 14 For when Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do what the law requires, they are a law to themselves, even though they do not have the law. 15 They show that the work of the law is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness, and their conflicting thoughts accuse or even excuse them 16 on that day when, according to my gospel, God judges the secrets of men by Christ Jesus.

In Revelations we are told that we will all be judged by our deeds, whether good or bad.  God sees what is in the intentions of your heart and what you do with those intentions.  If your life is all about God's love, you will be doing all these things and more!

Yes Bro Jberton  !   
I agree with you
  How blessed we are though to be able to read His word ?   and better yet to be given understanding ! 
God is awesome and  love and so good to  all  ,
I have struggled with   hate my whole life  , how can hate be so cruel and ignorant
all the needless suffering  on the poor and innocent folk and for what  gain ?
  for me being ignorant   and innocent have almost the same   meaning , but the difference for me is the ''intent of the heart ''   not knowing the ways of God and not wanting to know the ways of God when given opportunity
  the first encounter   Abram   has was sheer terror  of the Lord  in a dark and thick place  of no understanding what was happening to him   , but the Lord in His mercy over time changed Abram and even changed his name meaning to Abraham  , the father of many nations   by these two sons   of his loins [within him waiting to be born ] seeds of faith     
one is  blessed  and has the light  as the stars of heaven Above in the darkness being the light in the darkness of night  in them our Issacs   and the ismaels  whom are as the sands of the sea shore  so tiny and seperate alwys stumbling on one another   whom are tossed by winds and the raging  seas

I LOVE HIS WORD and am so very thankful to be chosen out of the world to be taught of Him , and am forever  thankul  and humbled by His Love  for us all , I totally give him the credit and glory ,   i was  never expecting anything  you see but living a simple and non meaningful life  before He come   

[anna274]

...the fear of the Lord is the begining of Wisdom , but by all means is not the end  of it  complete salvation is

The fear of the Lord is the begining of Wisdom; but, perfect love casts out all fear.

I agree with you Bro James   that perfect [complete] matured Love  cast out fear

,   But I believe we have come to  this crude  Human  english languge that  fails us at times  to  communicate as One
    fear    used here in this  verse  of Isaiah   is a word  with also   meaning of Reverence definition, a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe; veneration
Regard or treat with deep respect.  awesome or terrifying

I   do believe we never loose that  deep respect  same as fear of the Lord   described , ever in our relationship  with Him , maybe  it also  grows also as eternal 

I hope your feet are healing , and feeling much better  Bro , you  are in my thoughts  often , and have always  enjoyed your posts

Re: feet healing, feeling better, in my thoughts often, enjoyed your posts...  me, too!!!!

re: fear-- Thanks Rosie for sharing  a more inclusive definition...  I often think about my parents, who were devout Catholics, but loved/ reverenced God more than they loved their church's teachings...during the time of Vatican II with all the changes going on within the RCC, my father would often remind us that the church will change its teachings again and again, but God doesn't change His, so we to follow God's teachings (I think he meant very specifically to love God with whole heart, mind, and love neighbor as oneself)

So much more could be shared ... it seems to me that man very frequently "changes" the meaning of words or perhaps just uses the word in a more negative sense...  I considered  starting a new thread in Word Studies  "fear of the Lord" for more discussion on how man has "changed" the meaning of words... 

Rosie, I so enjoy your enthusiasm  (somewhere I read that enthusiasm --> en=in  thus=god)

Your posts are always filled with great reverence for God's Word (Word made flesh=living word Jesus; and the written word (the scriptures)

[rosered]

In Revelations we are told that we will all be judged by our deeds, whether good or bad.  God sees what is in the intentions of your heart and what you do with those intentions.  If your life is all about God's love, you will be doing all these things and more!Well said brother jbertonbounds. Sort of like saying climb on board the ark now cause its gonna start raining soon. The later rain is just on the horizon. I am a 50 year old surfer and I can tell you that the wave you want to be on has to be the one you see on the horizon. I really need to go back to Costa Rica and spend some time again. Spent 3 years of my life there surfing and really getting into God.

wow bro  Mpl ,
  Thanks for your post , its all so connected in ways only God can do !!   you had posted first before  while I  was  typing   and am amazed at how  God shows us  all His ways
 
yes the intent of the heart  must be known to us ,  so many times I have thought , why Lord did I do that ?  and question my own intent of the heart , it is about seeking  good , only God is good Jesus said in  scriptures once  , when they tried to call him good  master 
I always consider the Lord Jesus  and His life giving words

[rosered]

Re: feet healing, feeling better, in my thoughts often, enjoyed your posts...  me, too!!!!

re: fear-- Thanks Rosie for sharing  a more inclusive definition...  I often think about my parents, who were devout Catholics, but loved/ reverenced God more than they loved their church's teachings...during the time of Vatican II with all the changes going on within the RCC, my father would often remind us that the church will change its teachings again and again, but God doesn't change His, so we to follow God's teachings (I think he meant very specifically to love God with whole heart, mind, and love neighbor as oneself)

So much more could be shared ... it seems to me that man very frequently "changes" the meaning of words or perhaps just uses the word in a more negative sense...  I considered  starting a new thread in Word Studies  "fear of the Lord" for more discussion on how man has "changed" the meaning of words... 

Rosie, I so enjoy your enthusiasm  (somewhere I read that enthusiasm --> en=in  thus=god)

Your posts are always filled with great reverence for God's Word (Word made flesh=living word Jesus; and the written word (the scriptures)

  Sister Anna , 
I see also that in your posts !  its the Lord doing His  moving  , living works  in us  , we become His vessels  for His use !   I so love your parents    thoughts , they are pure towards the Lord and  what a blessing they are !   even you are blessed to this day as we are also  to understand them !
  God does not change    , but we do !  , some for the better some for the worse for wear 
but   we reverance Him  ! because He Loves us so   and being taght of Him has its chastings and scourgings   when   needed

[mplsfitter539]

Ah yes the chastising I know so well Rosered. I see that you also know the bitter sweet of chastising. 

[rosered]

Ah yes the chastising I know so well Rosered. I see that you also know the bitter sweet of chastising.

Yes Bro mlps , 
I do , it changes everything , does it not ?  our perception of just how much  we need to be obedient  children , the Light being children of the day exposes everything  within us

A  wonderful Father

Deu 8:5 Thou shalt also consider in thine heart, that, as a man chasteneth his son, [so] the LORD thy God chasteneth thee.



Pro 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Hbr 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
Hbr 12:7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?



chasten Strong's G3811 - paideuō
1) to train children

a) to be instructed or taught or learn
b) to cause one to learn

2) to chastise

a) to chastise or castigate with words, to correct
1) of those who are moulding the character of others by reproof and admonition
b) of God

1) to chasten by the affliction of evils and calamities
c) to chastise with blows, to scourge

1) of a father punishing his son


2) of a judge ordering one to be scourged

I was so foolish to think  that it was the devil giving  me hard times  and fiery trials  when I was so young  in my twenties  ,  little did I know these things were very  nessessary   for the spiritual growth and education  of learning to trust in the Lord   and obey Him 
  humility   is what keeps us   in a place of reasoning with Him
  I always think of Jesus   , and what He endured  in Hebrews    He learned obedience though the things he suffered  . 
  the day the scriptures opened up and Breathed on me was a blessed and thankful day   I can remember


Pro 15:33 The fear of the LORD [is] the instruction of wisdom; and before honour [is] humility.
Pro 18:12 Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, and before honour [is] humility.

Pro 22:4 By humility [and] the fear of the LORD [are] riches, and honour, and life.

Strong's H6038 - `anavah
1) humility, meekness


from the root word Strong's H6035 - `anav
) poor, humble, afflicted, meek
a) poor, needy

b) poor and weak

c) poor, weak and afflicted

d) humble, lowly, meek

[jabcat]

i felt God call me out of mainstream, and i've often thought of that verse.

Hey Jabcat,
What was it like when you felt God call you out of the mainstream (I assume you mean organized religion)?

Well, it was painful.  Long story short, I ended up literally on my face before God, as He s/w "broke me", laying it heavy on my heart to surrender and be obedient to Him.  I was "raised in church" my whole life, preacher's kid.  Wife, children, myself all "on the roll".  Leaving "broke something" between my wife and I - "it's something we share, do together - I knew this was going to happen" to quote her.  I initially didn't handle it well at all times, at one point making a really unthinking (stupid) comment about it.  I'd advise great care, running everything before the throne of grace before opening one's mouth, etc.

Several years down the road, I still wonder at times, especially when I experience some of the wide range of mixture of things people believe "out here" (not that any of us have all truth, but ....).  Anyway, still "alone" out here, except for my brothers and sisters here - and now my wife and [adult] children are also both OK with it...I recently offered to attend with my wife again, "for her sake"...she was like "nah, I don't believe like them".  Still, they don't have the fellowship I do, and often I'm concerned, and sometimes feel responsible and even guilty...

The denominations were Assembly of God, Church of God, then 15-20 years most recently in Southern Baptist prior to being pulled out about 5 years ago.

I'll come back in and share a few links as I find them that describe in more detail my experience.   They may not be "in order" of sequence.   Maybe something will be of use to you.  Blessings, James.


http://tentmaker.org/forum/welcome-central/new-guy-new-into-ur-just-out-of-denomination-yikes!/msg17321/#msg17321

http://tentmaker.org/forum/testimonies-(testify-here!)/finally-leaving-church-after-8-months/msg58311/#msg58311


http://tentmaker.org/forum/testimonies-(testify-here!)/finally-leaving-church-after-8-months/msg58327/#msg58327


http://tentmaker.org/forum/discussions-on-universal-salvation/sharing-ur-with-the-pastor-(taking-the-plunge)/msg27564/#msg27564

[mplsfitter539]

James thank you for the link to your past here at Tentmaker. I can't stop reading your original posts. You really told the pastor some truths he had never heard before.  :banana:

[jabcat]

Thanks bro.  I believe each of  our experiences can be helpful in some way, to some one .   :thumbsup:

[jbertonbounds]

Thanks, James!  I am checking out those links.

By the way, my father was also a strick SB preacher.  I know the fear of hell better than most! 

Thank God, now I now the joy of the truth of universal reconciliation!

[mplsfitter539]

James,
Your membership here began in about 2008 correct? Did you hang out watching in the wings so to speak at first or jump right in with the usual introductions and start posting? From the things I have read if those were your first posts you probably had been sitting on the side lines for quite some time before uttering such profound statements of faith. :banana:

[onlytruth]

Wow, I went back to my original posts as well,its great to see how God brings you through!

[jbertonbounds]

James,
I found your posts very interesting.  Your situation at that time was remarkably similar to mine.  I was raised in a strict SB home, and my dad was my pastor.   Now my wife is unsure of the things I am now sharing with her about UR, but in your words, "She seems to be very open to UR, but still has those life-long Baptist roots...she can go and not be real affected, just sort of like that, 'water off a duck's back.' "  We raised our now teenage children ET, but now it seems awkward changing my tune.   The Lord has chosen to reveal UR to me and as you said, "God's presence is becoming even more real, and He has lit a fire inside me that, even though I'm realizing even more His goodness and mercy, still compels me to seek Him and to walk in His presence."  I also feel compelled to speak out.  I know that won't last long before I get ousted.  So either way, the end of Baptist church membership for me is coming.  I am involved in our SB church organization helping with many things that would not otherwise get done, including playing the keyboard in our worship team.  I am also a deacon and a member of the church counsel.  If I leave them now, it will be a major blow to that church, who has already seen so much hardship and hurt with regards to a split caused by differing tastes in worship style, among other things.  And I really love those people!  I REALLY FEEL TRAPPED   !  If I leave I will have nowhere to go!  My worship will be me alone – which is fine, but I feel sort of downhearted at that prospect.  But still I must question if I should be there.  I have often wondered the same question you posed, "To what extent does 'come out of her My people' entail?  Refusing to participate in certain things (denominationalism, hell teaching,etc.) or not darkening the doorway?"

I really appreciate your sharing that with me.

John

[jabcat]

Hi all.  Yeah Fred, it's interesting - and a little frightening - to go back and read some of those things.  But God is faithful.

Thanks mp.  What happened is, I went through a very trying personal/professional situation, that s/w "broke me".  I still have some of the consequences years later.  I thought God had placed me in a position that I had basically prepared my whole life for - it was a disaster, and I ended up having many problems and finally asked to resign.  Also, I'd lived my whole life (almost) in either dedication, fear, or a mixture of both.  So one day in my despair, for some reason, I typed "is hell eternal".  I believe the first author I was led to was J. Preston Eby.  Over the next few months I absorbed/devoured information, scriptures - I was basically a huge, dry sponge, conditioned by 40+ years of fear and feeling to never "measure up" or be at peace.  So yes, I spent about a year or year and a half absorbing, seeking, thinking through what I was being shown, comparing it to what I'd "always believed", and God had just brought me to a place to where I was just "ready" - very needfully so - as I had prayed for God to just take me during the aforementioned life/vocational situation.  So I needed just what He had for me.  I wasn't just playing around, if you know what I mean.  So about a year+ later, I decided to join the TM forum.

jberton, I know our situations are very similar.  I recognized that right away, but never had really felt led to jump into all that in detail, until you asked.  I believe God brings things up when they need to be.  )Sometimes I miss it and jump right in and "get in His way" though.)   :punish:    :laughing7:    It actually sounds like your situation is even more intense than mine, because I was in a huge congregation, and though very involved, not a deacon, not "the only one" who could do stuff.  Also, my children are grown.  We homeschooled them, so they were pretty independent thinkers anyway.  My son had basically been questioning things anyway, and my daughter basically said "I thought if you went to hell that was it - but I like it".     

If I could give any advice regarding your family, it would be, be gentle, take it slow.  Be flexible - if your wife needs you to continue going with her for awhile, as long as God doesn't "forbid" it inside of you, go, smile, praise the Lord as much as you're able.  Share your new revelations ONLY as God leads and opens a door.  A couple of things I've done is just gently suggest things, ask questions, put out a solid "UR" scripture and say something like "there's a lot to think about here, maybe different than what we've always been taught" - and let the Holy Spirit work.  On the other hand, that either may not be what God would have some do, and, it may even be me being a bit of a wimp/chicken, operating out of fear sometimes.  For example - I was just thinking last night about posting (at least some of) the letter to the pastor on my facebook page.   That might really stir some stuff up, and also, I may be too chicken and "worried about my "reputation" [stupid ego/pride] amongst friends I've known all my life and who knew me "one way" - AND NOW WHAT!!??    Mostly though, I'd suggest the gentleness and caution be with your family - IMO, other than God, they are your first priority and need your patience, nurturing, faithfullness, etc.  (this coming from someone who's messed some of that up, and still questions some things, i.e., "how's my family really doing - they're not "going to church", I don't REALLY know  what their spiritual life is like - when I see my son doing something I question, is it my fault because I....etc., etc."       So pray, run everything by the throne of grace, look for the Spirit's leading.  Open your mouth when it's time, bite your tongue when it's not.   I know this is woefully inadequate - I'm still on my own journey - with few answers and still many questions.    But 2 things that stick with me.  Everyone's got to be better off if we're truly in god's will.  Also, a couple have told me about God having to take us outside the camp/into the wilderness/desert to prepare us more for what He wants from us.  We may perceive that as only, but Jesus did say we're never alone, never forsaken.

Blessings, James.