God Created Children

[Cardinal]

 :cloud9: Someone sent me this and I thought it was worth a chuckle...... :laughing7:


GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)
>
> To those of us who have children in our lives,
> whether they are our own,
> grandchildren,
> nieces,
> nephews,
> or students...
> here is something to make you chuckle.
>
> Whenever your children are out of control,
> you can take comfort from the thought that
> even God's omnipotence did not extend
> to His own children.
>
> After creating heaven and earth,
> God created Adam and Eve.
>
> And the first thing he said was
> ' DON'T !'
>
> 'Don 't what ? '
> Adam replied.
>
> 'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.'
> God said.
>
> 'Forbidden fruit ?
> We have forbidden fruit ?
> Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit ! '
>
>
> ' No Way ! '
> 'Yes way ! '
>
> 'Do NOT eat the fruit ! '
> said God.
>
>
>
> 'Why ? '
>
> 'Because I am your Father and I said so ! '
> God replied,
> wondering why He hadn't stopped
> creation after making the elephants
>
> A few minutes later,
> God saw His children having an apple break
> and He was ticked !
> 'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? '
> God asked.
>
>
>
>
> 'Uh huh,'
> Adam replied.
>
> 'Then why did you ? '
> said the Father.
>
> 'I don't know,'
> said Eve.
> 'She started it! '
> Adam said.
>
> 'Did not ! '
> 'Did too ! '
> 'DID NOT ! '
>
> Having had it with the two of them,
> God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
> should have children of their own.
> Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
>
> If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and
> they haven't taken it,
> don't be hard on yourself.
>
> If God had trouble raising children,
> what makes you think it would be
> a piece of cake for you ?
>
> THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !
>
> 1. You spend the first two years of their life
> teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
> the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
>
> 2. Grandchildren are God's reward
> for not killing your own children.
>
> 3. Mothers of teens now know why
> some animals eat their young.
>
> 4. Children seldom misquote you.
> In fact,
> they usually repeat word for word
> what you shouldn't have said
>
> 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
> is to remind yourself that there are children
> more awful than your own
>
> 6. We childproofed our homes,
> but they are still getting in.
>
>
>
> ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
>
> Be nice to your kids.
> They will choose your
> nursing home one day
>
> AND FINALLY:
>
> IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
> AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
> DO WHAT IT SAYS
> ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
>
>
>
>
> 'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN'
> AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

[shibboleth]

> 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
> is to remind yourself that there are children
> more awful than your own :laughing7:

That one really tickled my funny bone, Card.
>

[Cardinal]

 :cloud9: Number 3 and number 6, and the aspirin bottle comment, cracked me up the most....... :laughing7:

[hopeful]

Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

:ghaha:

I have so much fun listening to my son
talk about dealing with his daughter who is JUST LIKE HIM!   :Sparkletooth:

[CHB]

This reminded me of what I use to tell my kids. "I hope you have 25 kids and every one of them is just like you". What a punishment. :mshock:  :grin:

CHB

[SeekerSA]

They sure teach you loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooong suffering.  That reminds me of the wedding rings;

Steady Ring
Engagement Ring
Wedding Ring
Suffering
Eternity Ring (if you last that long) or is that a medal?
Then the ring-ring of the telephone for kids needing help/money bail? :laughing7:

Blessings

[martincisneros]

I don't have any kids.  Is this thread essentially saying that kids are Sheol, Gehenna, Hades, Tartarus, the Lake of Fire, the Mathew 25 fires, and the 1Corinthians 5 fire?????????????

While supposedly grandkids are the new heavens and new earth for their grandparents???????

I heard a preacher say one time that grandkids are grandkids because you've got to spend about a grand on each of 'em :happy3:

[joyful1]

:laughing7: Martin--U R fun-E
children are more of a schoolmaster than I thought they'd be, however!
Joyce :)

[martincisneros]

This reminded me of what I use to tell my kids. "I hope you have 25 kids and every one of them is just like you". What a punishment. :mshock:  :grin:

CHB

Trying to give 'em a heart attack??