Federal Gov't Employee Evaluations

[FineLinen]

Federal Government Employee Evaluations

1.

"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has begun to dig."

2.

"I would not allow this employee to breed."

3.

"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

4.

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap"

5.

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

-To be continued-

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[FineLinen]

Federal Gov't Employee Evaluations -Continued-

6.

"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

7.

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

8.

"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

9.

"This employee is depriving some village of an idiot."

10.

"This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

11.

"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

Yup! There's more.

[FineLinen]

Federal Gov't Employee Evaluations -Continued-

12.

"A gross ignoramous....144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramous".

13.

"He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

14.

"I would like to go hunting with him someday."

15.

"He's been working with glue too much."

16.

"He would argue with a signpost."

17.

"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18.

"When his I.Q. reaches 50, he should sell."

19.

"If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

20.

"A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on"

21.

"A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22.

"Donated his brain to science before he was through using it."

Yup! There's more.

[FineLinen]

Federal Gov't Employee Evaluations


23.

"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train ain't coming."

24.

"He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

25.

"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

26.

"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

27.

"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

28.

"It's hard to believe he beat off 1,000,000 other sperm."

29.

"One neuron short of a synapse."

30.

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gulped."

31.

"Takes him 2 hours to watch 'Sixty Minutes."

32.

"The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

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[FineLinen]

Politically correct ways to call someone stupid.....

A few clowns short of a circus

A few fries short of a Happy Meal

An experiment in artificial stupidity

A few beers short of a six pack

Dumber than a box of hair

A few peas short of a casserole

Doesn't have all his Cornflakes in one box

The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl

One taco short of a combination plate

A few feathers short of a whole duck

All foam, no beer

The cheese slid off his cracker

Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel

Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt

Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear

He fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools

As smart as bait

Chimney's clogged

Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash

Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair

Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor

Forgot to pay his brain bill

Her sewing machine's out of thread

His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels

His belt doesn't go through all the loops

If he had another brain, it would be lonely

Missing a few buttons on his remote control

No grain in the silo

Proof that evolution can go in reverse

Receiver is off the hook

Several nuts short of a full pouch

Sky light leaks a little

Slinky's kinked

Surfing in Nebraska

Too much yardage between the goal posts

Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

[jenna]

 :laugh: :laugh2: :mlaugh: :LH:

[hopeful]

How 'bout:

All her puppies don't bark.   :grin:

I heard that one on a movie.   :grin:

[martincisneros]

Oy vey!  All of my former co-workers were government agents! 
I was the only cornflake in the box :mshock: 
I was the only beer in the six pack :mblush: 
I was the cheese that slid off of their cracker :msealed:
No wonder they wanted me to take the civil service exam!
They were trying to steal my brain bill money!! :sigh:

[Davo22]

Politically correct ways to call someone stupid.....

A few clowns short of a circus

A sandwich short of a picnic?

Haven't got both awes in the water.

A screw lose.

Not dealing with the full quid.

Dead from the shoulders up.

Struggle to string two words together.