Tired a Ticked

[reFORMer]

claypot

I've been depressed and going through some very similar thoughts for several months.  Some are more piercingly personal, I mean my worthlessnes and failure to obtain other than mostly words.  Over a month ago I wrote that, "What It's Like" in much the same state of mind as you describe. One truth that many share is how we are to find Him in the midst of the world of contradicting experience and a self in a body of humiliation, weakness and corruption.  What much of the challenge is about is to obtain the coming into manifestation of God within us enabling us to rise above all things, to "obtain Power after that the Holy Ghost has come upon you..."  It's not to just suffer, pray to not be bitter and sense the comforting presence of God.  That is good as far as it goes.  We are supposed to be motivated by the pressure from the inclosing futility and suffering, our helplessness in the face of so much contradiction of God as good.  It all should drive us to enter through a gate that is the smallest of all seeds.  One brother says, if you are lowly enough you can pass through the mustard seed with plenty of room to not bump your elbows.  To inherit the kingdom of God means we escape into the glory of God and obtain power to answer these things in the lives of others.  He's the rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."

[Molly]

8My friends, I want you to know what a hard time we had in Asia. Our sufferings were so horrible and so unbearable that death seemed certain. 9In fact, we felt sure that we were going to die. But this made us stop trusting in ourselves and start trusting God, who raises the dead to life. 10God saved us from the threat of death,  and we are sure that he will do it again and again.

--2 Cor 1




7We are like clay jars in which this treasure is stored. The real power comes from God and not from us. 8We often suffer, but we are never crushed. Even when we don't know what to do, we never give up. 9In times of trouble, God is with us, and when we are knocked down, we get up again. 10-11We face death every day because of Jesus. Our bodies show what his death was like, so that his life can also be seen in us. 12This means that death is working in us, but life is working in you.
--2 Cor 4

[chuckt]

ALL things © copyright 2001-2009 by Martin Zender. All rights reserved.



= beware.

im pretty sure good ol martin dosent mind me posting his stuff and giving him credit.  :thumbsup: specially here on tentmaker.

chuckt

[Redlettervoice]

I'm tired and kind of ticked off at God/Life I suppose.

I look through the threads here and am not finding what's on my brain.

What's on my brain is this.............What the heck is going on here? I'm a person. I didn't do anything wrong, did I? I mean I have done a lot of things wrong after I knew what right and wrong were but you know what I mean. Now I do right or wrong according to what my conscience says or what lawmakers say but even then I am only seeking to survive and find a bit of peace and happiness.

All this talk about God and righteousness and grace and temples and inner and outer courts and arks and floods and crucifixions and winged chariots and on and on and on..........what the heck does any of this have to do with me just trying to survive and pay the bills?

Who is this God who demands so much from us who have so little? I cannot find it in me to even love Him. I am too tired trying to survive this dung hill we call life.

Boy, I sound real negative don't I? I suppose I am but I am trying to say something and those who will hear will hear, those who won't, won't.

We praise God, we cry for mercy, we thank Him for grace. Why? Praise God for this horrible world or for our lives that are filled with pain and misery most of the time? Praise Him for saving us from something that really wasn't our fault? Praise Him for creating us and setting up a hellish existence for us to live in? Praise Him for bringing us to Heaven? Isn't this what He should do?

How about mercy? My God, is this how much we lower ourselves that we beg for mercy for something we didn't really do from Someone who is supposed to love us? Sure I'm no saint, like Michael Jackson was no saint, but the guy was just surviving the best he knew how. People are asking if he was right with God? So what if he was or wasn't. He broke a bunch of rules, Biblical and others, but he worked with what he was born with.

How about Grace? Grace for what? Grace for being born into a cesspool and then trying to swim out of it? Grace for existing. Grace for being born weak and dead and blind?

Oh well gang, I am just airing a bit. Trying to be honest and maybe going too far. I'm just tired of the candlesticks and knocking on the door and the elect and the chosen and free will and sovereignty and forbidden apples and trees and coins in the mouths of fish and on and on and on.

God is. I sense it but I'm tired..................of the mixed messages and mysteriousness of it all and I'm real tired of being blamed for any of this crap I am basically forced to endure.

Better stop before I go too far.

cp

Behold an Israelite in whom there is no guile! 

That's what Jesus said to one that was so transparent.

I don't think your attitude bothers "HIM" at all.
It may a man. ha  But not HIM.  Solomon sure
knew how you felt!  "This is a sore travail that He
hath given to the sons of men to be exercised
therewith" is what he said.

I get sick of all of it too, and then walla.........here comes
the "GIFT"  All shiney and New.  A revelation.  A word
from on High.  It makes me forget the travail.  It spurs
me on.  It makes me know I am the work of HIS Hands.
Really, the only thing we are sick of is our "own" stuff. ha
Don't apologize.  Everyone here has those feelings at
times. 

[sheila]

  Cp,

  been there, done that, problably will again :sigh:

   There was a time,way back...when I would bury what I was

   feeling.out of fear or shame,I don't know,both?

    But I tell you...the most wonderful thing happened when

   I quit doing that..and just told Him what was on my mind or

    in my heart[it isn't always pretty]


   I found out that it became easier to bear these things..

  and our relationship took on

a level of intimacy that I hadn't had before.


   Love,trust and understanding go hand in hand

   trust Him enough to know that HE WILL CONTINUE TO LOVE

   YOU EVEN THROUGH THE HARD TIMES AND THAT HE

  ALONE UNDERSTANDS YOU LIKE NO-ONE ELSE..


   He understands your anxiety,fears,frustrations,frailty

  He knows when your overwhelmed,tired,at the end of your rope

  fed up,beat down,confused,irritable and out of sorts.


   Don't worry about measuring up,none of us can....we can't add

  a cubit to our stature.HE makes up for what we lack...that

  work was done on the cross by His Son.


    sometimes all we can do,is endure in hope

   there's not a whole lot of joy when your enduring or

  long-suffering...but this, too,shall pass,and joy cometh

in the morning .

                            Sheila

[Nancy]

hi ya claypot,
i love honest people like you who do not whitewash life, especially because they are a believer, are honest to say that life isn't hunky dory and God doesn't shield them from the nastier things and people in life.

for years before i came to believe in the truth of universalism, i would go from church to church to find peace in my soul. i just never found it. i used to think that there must be something wrong with me, because the christians i met never seemed to have problems or doubts except yours truly.  i would often come home from church in tears.  i am slowly trying to be myself in that i believe what i believe regardless of what others think. it is hard though.  i am so used to being spoon fed.

Clay, don't ever be ashamed for being honest, as it does seem as others have said that Jesus loved honest people and told off people who were not what they seemed.
give me a sinner any day to a white washed christian who doesn't seem to see life like other people do.

Godbless and praying
Nancy