How do I comfort people who recently lost a loved one?

[Warhawk17]

There is this family in my hometown whose 10 year old boy this past week became violently ill and died very quickly. My hometown is a close knit town where everyone seems to know everyone, and my mom knows the family a little bit. There was a Facebook page dedicated to him, and I have been reading through the posts.

Many of the posts are condolences and prayers, but the boy's older sister who I believe is in middle school made a post asking how her family can know for sure if he is ok. All the posts consisted of responses saying how he is with God in Heaven and how there is nothing to worry about. I realize the belief that you go straight to Heaven after you die is popular, and I had held that belief for most of my life.

I would like to reach out to the family, but I'm not sure how. I feel like if I showed them the truth that their son is dead, and that the dead know nothing (Ecclesiastes 9:5) that would bring them sorrow and discomfort knowing that their child is not yet with God and won't be until Christ returns. This is a tough situation as a lot of people like to perpetuate the Christian myth of the immortality of the soul when a family member dies. Death is tragic, especially when it is a young kid. But it doesn't mean the reality of death doesn't exist. I'd like to know how you guys have handled situations like this in the past or what you believe is the right way to go about it.

[Tom]

There is this family in my hometown whose 10 year old boy this past week became violently ill and died very quickly. My hometown is a close knit town where everyone seems to know everyone, and my mom knows the family a little bit. There was a Facebook page dedicated to him, and I have been reading through the posts.

Many of the posts are condolences and prayers, but the boy's older sister who I believe is in middle school made a post asking how her family can know for sure if he is ok. All the posts consisted of responses saying how he is with God in Heaven and how there is nothing to worry about. I realize the belief that you go straight to Heaven after you die is popular, and I had held that belief for most of my life.

I would like to reach out to the family, but I'm not sure how. I feel like if I showed them the truth that their son is dead, and that the dead know nothing (Ecclesiastes 9:5) that would bring them sorrow and discomfort knowing that their child is not yet with God and won't be until Christ returns. This is a tough situation as a lot of people like to perpetuate the Christian myth of the immortality of the soul when a family member dies. Death is tragic, especially when it is a young kid. But it doesn't mean the reality of death doesn't exist. I'd like to know how you guys have handled situations like this in the past or what you believe is the right way to go about it.

My family is Catholic except for one brother who is Protestant and me. I'm not into either of those persuasions. I prefer to just study scripture without the filter of church doctrine. My mom had Alzheimer's and died. I told my 89 year old dad who has Alzheimer's too what I believe these days about death, that the dead are reposing not alive in heaven or hell. I told him I believe mom is reposing until Christ comes to take those of us who have been chosen to our celestial realm. Because he's a die hard Catholic, he worries about mom being in purgatory which is a horrible lie of the church about loved ones suffering for their sins after they die before they can get to heaven. I told him mom's not in purgatory because she's reposing and oblivious of anything. So she's not suffering. He still talks to my handicapped sister about mom looking down on her from heaven. I don't correct him when he does that, but, like I said, I've told him what I believe is the truth to try to console him. The church has most folks deceived about death to propagate its own worldly power. The church likes to come between man and God, but there is only one mediator. That is Christ. My opinion is it's better to share the truth with folks which is actually more consoling than the lie of the church because it provides an expectation of seeing all loved ones alive again someday regardless of whether or not they were believers. If you know the truth, how can you not share it especially with those who really need it like grieving families? It is the truth in scripture that is truly consolation not the church's lie.

[Warhawk17]

There is this family in my hometown whose 10 year old boy this past week became violently ill and died very quickly. My hometown is a close knit town where everyone seems to know everyone, and my mom knows the family a little bit. There was a Facebook page dedicated to him, and I have been reading through the posts.

Many of the posts are condolences and prayers, but the boy's older sister who I believe is in middle school made a post asking how her family can know for sure if he is ok. All the posts consisted of responses saying how he is with God in Heaven and how there is nothing to worry about. I realize the belief that you go straight to Heaven after you die is popular, and I had held that belief for most of my life.

I would like to reach out to the family, but I'm not sure how. I feel like if I showed them the truth that their son is dead, and that the dead know nothing (Ecclesiastes 9:5) that would bring them sorrow and discomfort knowing that their child is not yet with God and won't be until Christ returns. This is a tough situation as a lot of people like to perpetuate the Christian myth of the immortality of the soul when a family member dies. Death is tragic, especially when it is a young kid. But it doesn't mean the reality of death doesn't exist. I'd like to know how you guys have handled situations like this in the past or what you believe is the right way to go about it.

My family is Catholic except for one brother who is Protestant and me. I'm not into either of those persuasions. I prefer to just study scripture without the filter of church doctrine. My mom had Alzheimer's and died. I told my 89 year old dad who has Alzheimer's too what I believe these days about death, that the dead are reposing not alive in heaven or hell. I told him I believe mom is reposing until Christ comes to take those of us who have been chosen to our celestial realm. Because he's a die hard Catholic, he worries about mom being in purgatory which is a horrible lie of the church about loved ones suffering for their sins after they die before they can get to heaven. I told him mom's not in purgatory because she's reposing and oblivious of anything. So she's not suffering. He still talks to my handicapped sister about mom looking down on her from heaven. I don't correct him when he does that, but, like I said, I've told him what I believe is the truth to try to console him. The church has most folks deceived about death to propagate its own worldly power. The church likes to come between man and God, but there is only one mediator. That is Christ. My opinion is it's better to share the truth with folks which is actually more consoling than the lie of the church because it provides an expectation of seeing all loved ones alive again someday regardless of whether or not they were believers. If you know the truth, how can you not share it especially with those who really need it like grieving families? It is the truth in scripture that is truly consolation not the church's lie.

That's true. Knowing that all will be saved eventually is glorious, and how could they not feel some relief knowing they will for sure 100% be reunited with their son someday. I know this family is Catholic, and their kids go to the same Catholic school I went to growing up. That is how my mother knows them. It would still feel weird reaching out to them because I don't know them at all, and I'm going to at least wait until after the funeral to say anything.

On a side note, isn't it funny how even the most hardcore ET churches seem to forget all about Hell when it comes to funerals? I read an article a while ago that quoted a man whose occupation had something to do with funerals, and he said that out of all the funerals he witnessed over the years, he had not once heard the word hell mentioned. By the logic of some of those churches, you would think they would be condemning most of the people at the funerals, but they would never have the guts to do that. Although most of those churches think that everyone in their congregation are the chosen ones, and everyone else is destined to burn.  :doh: Churchianity logic... :sigh:

[JulieTang84]

Please forgive me as I am about to share something that likely goes against Tentmaker doctrine. I write all of this from my personal experience. Almost 18 months ago I lost the love of my life to cancer. He was in Hospital a bunch of times and the home was just EMPTY without him. Well one day we rushed him to the hospital in an Ambulance and he died 20 minutes later. I knew it was going to happen, but I prayed everyday, figuring my faith would be enough. It wasn't, my husband died


But this is not a sad story. My love was waiting for me when I got home. Something I never expected. The home was warm and he was there for quite sometime, weeks, even still. Well, this is when my spiritual awakening began. Honestly, miracles happened daily. Doors that were previously closed opened as if by magic. Things that I had tried to understand now made perfect sense. I even lost my job just 2 months after his death. Father planned it all. I had 5 weeks to grieve. I needed that, I really did. As much as I had loved my previous job, I now have my dream job. I have been there a year and love everyone I work with.


Getting back to my lost Love. I would often just ache for him, I mean to the point of really hurting. This was becoming way to frequent, especially like it was 6 months later (not long I know) Well during one of these really painful moments, a thought came to me, that all I needed to do is to tell him to communicate to my higher self (spirit) that she would understand. Instant relief, I never had another one of those horrible sad attacks.


There is more that I could say, but will leave it here. I know many will think evil spirits, why not loving spirits? We know that Jesus's spirit never died. The body did, not the Spirit. I just KNOW my husband is with me. I am closer to him than ever before and we were close then. Please know that questioned Father repeatedly on this and the answer was always the same. Peaceful Love, a total calmness.


I will not speak of this again. I only wish to share my experience, perhaps it will bring comfort to someone. If anyone wants to know more, just PM me,


Love Julie  :HeartThrob:

[Warhawk17]

Please forgive me as I am about to share something that likely goes against Tentmaker doctrine. I write all of this from my personal experience. Almost 18 months ago I lost the love of my life to cancer. He was in Hospital a bunch of times and the home was just EMPTY without him. Well one day we rushed him to the hospital in an Ambulance and he died 20 minutes later. I knew it was going to happen, but I prayed everyday, figuring my faith would be enough. It wasn't, my husband died


But this is not a sad story. My love was waiting for me when I got home. Something I never expected. The home was warm and he was there for quite sometime, weeks, even still. Well, this is when my spiritual awakening began. Honestly, miracles happened daily. Doors that were previously closed opened as if by magic. Things that I had tried to understand now made perfect sense. I even lost my job just 2 months after his death. Father planned it all. I had 5 weeks to grieve. I needed that, I really did. As much as I had loved my previous job, I now have my dream job. I have been there a year and love everyone I work with.


Getting back to my lost Love. I would often just ache for him, I mean to the point of really hurting. This was becoming way to frequent, especially like it was 6 months later (not long I know) Well during one of these really painful moments, a thought came to me, that all I needed to do is to tell him to communicate to my higher self (spirit) that she would understand. Instant relief, I never had another one of those horrible sad attacks.


There is more that I could say, but will leave it here. I know many will think evil spirits, why not loving spirits? We know that Jesus's spirit never died. The body did, not the Spirit. I just KNOW my husband is with me. I am closer to him than ever before and we were close then. Please know that questioned Father repeatedly on this and the answer was always the same. Peaceful Love, a total calmness.


I will not speak of this again. I only wish to share my experience, perhaps it will bring comfort to someone. If anyone wants to know more, just PM me,


Love Julie  :HeartThrob:

Julie, your story is interesting, and I will not dismiss it. I have heard many similar stories over the years from many people, including family and friends. I admit I don't have a full understanding of these topics, and many stories of these kinds that I have heard have caused me to question everything I believe. Trust me, I've heard way weirder stories than that. I feel like trying to analyze your story and all the others that I've heard would be useless as I would have no basis for anything I say. Perhaps someone else would have a better follow up.

But I agree with you that some things happen in life that you know isn't just a coincidence. God was definitely looking out for you when he took away your job and later gave you a new one that turned out to be better. He gave you the necessary time just to take it easy and grieve. Those kinds of things I am convinced are from God. I just am not sure exactly what to say about all the other supernatural happenstances so for the time being I will stick by what I know from scripture, and I know that the dead are actually dead and do not know anything. I will definitely do more research on this topic though at a later date, and I will PM you tomorrow because I'm going to bed after this post. Have a good night.

[watchman1706]

Your words are not going to mean too much. How can anyone express such a loss? Words just aren't enough. Just love them and stand with them. Show them your solidarity. Lend an ear. Let their needs guide what you do and say.  :2c:

[WhiteWings]

I think words can mean a lot.
Many think the dead are suffering in hell.
Sharing the Gospel of Light may reduce that stress.

[marie glen]

Amen..  stand by them and listen.. and also the verses.. one or two of all those verses which promise resurrection life for all.. just quoting the Word.. as the Word is veRy powerful and can penetrate, being the sWord of Truth..

And also personally I think of the dead in their graves, like seed for resurrection.. Like seed awaiting resurrection.. (Hubby and I want to be cremated, and ashes buried in the back yard or anyplace simple, for that reason, as seed for the resurrection)

My prayers and condolences for the family of the precious boy.. and for the town and friends...
God bless

[Tom]

http://concordant.org/expohtml/DeathAndJudgment/WhatIsDeath.html

[marie glen]

Postscript - personally I think any visitation/comfort (which I too have experienced) is the Lord, or an angel who ministered to/'watched over' the loved one when the loved one was here. The angel being sent/posted by the Lord..