My thoughts on "hygiene" vs God's design

[DanielB]

(I feel like writing about "hygiene". Now before you get any ideas, I am not going to be arguing against showering, brushing your teeth, washing your hands, etc. Especially since those things involve washing off foreign matter rather than part of us. Also, I am not trying to impose my ideas on anyone and or make shaving, makeup, etc into a moral issue.)

There is something that has bothered me more than it used to and that I have been thinking of. The fact that people struggle with their appearance and self image. Even worse, the fact that people take offense at the appearance of others.

People in general seem to suffer or are restricted as a result a negative self image (men and women, even though both do not want to admit it and hide it in different ways). Women and girls in my family and a few others I have heard have expressed that they do not want to go anywhere in public without putting on makeup or otherwise making themselves "presentable". Men are also falling victim to this and may be comfortable in their own skin but not their hair(or they are too concerned about what others think about their appearance). This may not seem like a serious issue since people sweep it under the rug daily with false fixes(rituals that people call "hygiene" and wrongly conflate with cleanliness) but people don't realize how liberating it is to be completely ok/satisfied with appearing how we are designed to appear and not to cover their faces with a veil(I am speaking of a veil made out of powder or made with a razor in an attempt to hide supposed ugliness rather than a veil meant to hide percieved beauty) and to acknowledge that God is the most perfect designer who does not make mistakes.

If you look ugly, then ugliness must be good and desirable(so why not embrace it?) since you were designed that way by a perfect and designer who loves you. However, I don't think anyone is designed to be ugly in any objective way(not even on the outside). I think ugliness is a flaw in the eye of the beholder. If we find someone ugly, our perception is flawed(whether that person is someone else or yourself) and we should desire a better "eye" and deny the thought that a person is ugly(this also applies to perception of worth).

What about those that struggle with the appearance of others? I have not really struggled with my appearance because I did not value it. I have a scraggly beard that probably offends people or leads to some degree of prejudice. People have said many times saw fit to tell me "Your beard looks like pubic hair!", "Shave your pubes.", "It would look acceptable if you you would just even it out and trim it", joke about getting together to hold me down and shave it(and I think they might actually consider doing so if we lived in a more violent culture like Joseph Palmer), and talk about how some people can't pull it off and shouldn't try(as if those of us with scraggly beards were desperately trying to grow some "ideal" beard). I suspect that women who choose not to shave(legs, armpits, etc) are subjected to similar nonsense. I am not really offended or hurt by such suggestions and opinions(I am sure many others would be though) but it seems incredibly bizarre to me how pushy and ridiculous people can be about someone else's appearance.

It is best not to believe that anyone is unpresentable or ugly and to disbelieve your perception if it tells you otherwise and we certainly should not speak such things.

If we perceive a good thing to be bad, we should realize that our perception is flawed( that we have a bad "lens")

I do not think that it is immoral to shave, trim, wear makeup or otherwise change our appearance but we should know that we can not improve upon a perfect design so any change we make to our appearance will make us look worse or fail to make us look any better at the very least. We can only make ourselves look better or more presentable to someone who has an immature or flawed eye. I am not saying all of this to encourage shame but to say there is nothing to be ashamed about.

All of this has become more and more clear to me as I see people who are perfectly presentable saying they are not or people saying others are unpresentable or ugly when the others are perfectly fine.

We should not call body hair(or any other part of God's design) unclean, gross, unsightly, or unpresentable nor should we believe such lies(which are now widespread).

As I said, I am not trying to impose any views on anyone or condemning anyone. I don't think God is going to get mad at anyone for being ashamed of themselves(which I am arguing against) but there is a huge difference between shame and humility.

Feel free to discuss.

[Dandelion]

I do think that both non-Christians, as well as Christians, are, in general, too concerned with appearance, status symbols, and the like.

I had a very bad situation growing up, concerning my self-image, especially in regard to my femininity. It was an on-going situation, which, unfortunately, extended into my adult life, until only a few short years ago. I was taught that the things of this world, were not for me; that I was 'different' than others and should not concern myself with my appearance, because I wasn't ever going to matter much, anyway. I was taught not to expect to have what others had or wanted. Sort of like a Cinderella story. In many ways, that thinking actually did me a lot of good, but, when it comes to one's self image and worth, that is another story.

I believe that God can do anything, and He can give us beauty for ashes, and change any situation around. I know for myself, I so believe that God alone is our only source of identity, and only our identity in Him matters. I believe this with all of my heart. But, just like Peter, I can be walking on the water one minute, and when I look down and see the turbulance of the waters surrounding me, I loose sight of my faith and start to become fearful and anxious, just like I did when I was fed all those lies, for years and years. I have to stop and focus on Him again. And, then, I need to act on my faith, and believe in myself, as I am in Christ.

I can still allow those thoughts and memories to haunt me and become saddened by this issue, at times. Sometimes for a few minutes, and sometimes, on and off for days, depending on what has been happening in my life. I am never recaptured by it, but I do battle with it. It makes me remember how important forgiveness is, because, forgiveness is key in moving forward with one's life. We can look back to put the pieces together and heal, but then we need to let go and keep moving forward. 

The world can be very cruel about looks, beauty, sexual appeal, and the like. People who are considered unattractive, for various reasons, are often the most segregated, discriminated, overlooked, and ridiculed people in the world.

Ultimately, we always need to remember, and hold it very close to our spirit, and our heart, that God is always the one to ultimately decide what happens in our lives. We must believe, with all our heart, if we put our trust in Him, He will use all things for our good. Looks is such a difficult issue, because, we can change our attitude, our relationship with God, with His grace, our love of people, and so on, but, unless we are very wealthy, it is hard to change our looks. We can put on make-up, get a new haircut, loose weight, etc. but, it is difficult to change many things about our appearance.   

I just went to a church today, that I usually don't go to, and it has a beautiful gift shop, which I can never resist at least looking at. There was a sign there, that said, "Beauty is in the eye of the Creator." I so liked that. For quite a while now, I say this prayer, at times......Jesus, when other people look at me, let them see you through me. If a drop of His beauty and great love, could be evident in us, then that is more than enough, for anyone. And, we need to try to see others that way, too.

Many years ago, there was a movie made, based on the book, A Picture of Dorien Grey. Dorien was a cruel man, and, though his looks never varied, the painted portrait of him, would become more and more 'ugly' as he committed his crimes and so on. When he died, his body took on the look of evil, but the picture was restored to its original splendor.

Think of how different the world would be, if we saw one another's souls, rather than their physical appearance.

A tough topic, and a hard issue to be at complete peace with, for many, but, the answer to just about every question is the same....Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding...in all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight.

D.

[DanielB]

I agree. I think love and affection allow us to appreciate a person's positive traits more. The halo effect has a big impact on me and I embrace it insofar as it makes me bias towards the truth(of a person's great worth, etc).

Some people may be more difficult to appreciate whether we are talking about their personality, looks, etc but I think that those who love them and appreciate them are seeing the truth of things rather than seeing potential, beauty, worth, etc that is not there. It is like garlic vs sweet stuff. Most people enjoy sweet stuff even if they are unrefined and very picky but many people do not like garlic and say it tastes bad. I have learned to like garlic(in fact, I think I tend to like garlic more than sweet stuff). The way I see it, I learned to appreciate a good thing(a food that must have been made to be enjoyed) rather than learning to see a bad thing as good. That is just one analogy. Appreciating the good things(and beings) that God has made can be a discapline but my life has improved as I have learned to appreciate things and people more. :)

[RonnyTX]

DanielB, thank you for your post. :-)  I'm 62 years old now and it took me way back, to when I was in my teens. There was this other boy in school and his mother and to put it frankly, his mother was plain as a mud fence! (ha)  But the thing is, this woman was the sweetest, nicest person, you could ever want to meet!  I never will forget, how nice, sweet and caring, she was to me and to others. She had so much love and caring in her and that showed up, in her facial expressions. And as I've said, most would say her looks were as plain as a mud fence; but her love and caring for people, that shown out of her face and eyes and she was actually the most beautiful woman I had ever seen! :-)

[sheila]

   as a teen-ager I always saw "sin" as ugly.  I believe the scriptures refer to 'countenance" as the spiritual demeanor.  Thinking

  of Cain...with the 'fallen' countenance. Red yellow black or white...with hatred and evil disposition people are ugly,whereas the

  spirit of love and grace and kindness beautifies all people. :2c:

[marie glen]

I've always been, honestly, a bit more partial to folks who are more 'natural' in their appearance. Natural hair 'style', beards.. ('scraggly' in my book, is the best sort!) Not that I don't love and appreciate folks who are clean shaven.. wear make-up, or dress nicer than I do. But I try not to be too partial!

Great story RonnyTX! And great words Sheila!

It is SO true!

And we all, in a sense, a very real sense, are ugly ducklings! Until Jesus "finds" us and transforms us into swans!

Mostly, I'm just thankful I don't have to be in the 'rat race' and expected to keep up any sort of worldly appearance, the fancier, to my way of thinking, the worse. :eek:
      :laughing7: