Author Topic: shooting stars  (Read 765 times)

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missplaced

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shooting stars
« on: September 08, 2011, 05:52:33 AM »
I was a born-again since kindergarten, attended only Christian schools, and denounced myself from religion at age 13. The heartless condemnation and blind ignorance of so many authority figures (including teachers and pastors) and the disturbing concept that God could let anyone burn in eternal flames..wondering how I could rely on or love a God like that, is what turned me off of religion altogether. I remember asking as a child, "What about the kids in remote parts of Africa who haven't heard about God?" "Well if they wanted to, they could find out about God. Otherwise they are lost to hell too. That's why we need missionaries." That answer always stuck with me. How could I feel anything but disgust and rebellion? I didn't want to see God again for almost ten years.

The man I loved since I was 16, who taught me so much about humanity and endless forgiveness and unconditional love, passed away early this year. In losing him, I became desperate for answers about life after death. I had to know how I would find him again, if I could. I sought out mediums and witchcraft, ideas of reincarnation and a pagan god and goddess who sounded more approachable. None of it felt real. I remember him crying telling me, "I know that God must know what's in my heart and what goes on in my head. No one can understand.. He must see how it is inside me and take pity on me?" I always told him I didn't believe in God, and that would upset him. He suffered with bipolar disorder and various addictions, did a lot of bad things and broke my heart several times. I was the stable one, yet it is really he that saved me. I was strong and stable, and stubborn and stern and I believed in punishing him for his actions and walking away even when he needed me, in order to preserve my own feelings or just to get revenge or "teach him a lesson". When he hurt me, I wanted to hurt him back; when I hurt him, he held onto me and forgave me and loved me. He couldn't escape his demons and I wasn't strong enough back then to fight with forgiveness and love. How I would give anything to go back in time.. But it never mattered to him: I was his and he loved me and I was perfect in my imperfections and nothing I could do or say could ever change how he felt about me. He wrote that to me so many times.. I held one of the letters and sat and cried and I thought, If there is a God, how can his love and his commitment and mercy be any less than that? This was only last week, and that night I laid in bed looking out at the stars and wished to see God- I barely had the thought finished before stars started to shoot across the sky. I felt love wash over me.
I began to search, in the bible and online. This idea of universalism is new to me- but it has saved my faith, and the more I discover and meditate and pray, the more I am filled with love and respect for this God who I am really seeing for the first time.

I remember reading a quote after his death, "Just when someone seems to deserve our love the least, that's when they need it the most." If anything on this earth is divine or worth searching for and believing in, it is that: endless forgiveness and unconditional love.

Goodnight all :)

Offline Molly

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Re: shooting stars
« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2011, 05:58:11 AM »
wow!  That was beautiful.  Thank you!   

Offline jabcat

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Re: shooting stars
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2011, 06:04:41 AM »
It sure was.  Very touching.

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem  and asked, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him."  Matthew 2:1
Neither should there be vulgar speech, foolish talk, or coarse jesting--all of which are out of character--but rather thanksgiving.  Eph. 5:4  **  Saved 1John 3.2, Eph. 2:8, John 1:12 - Being saved 2Cor. 4:16 2Peter 3:18 - Will be saved 1Peter 1:5 Romans 8:23

Offline micah7:9

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Re: shooting stars
« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2011, 06:07:17 AM »
 :welcome: :HeartThrob:
Mic 7:8  Thou dost not rejoice over me, O mine enemy, When I have fallen, I have risen, When I sit in darkness Jehovah is a light to me.

Offline sheila

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Re: shooting stars
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2011, 06:18:40 AM »

   wELCOME

     yOUR TESTIMONY TOUCHED MY HEART. mY DAUGHTER AND GRANDDAUGHTER[14] ARE BIPOLAR...

Offline jabcat

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Re: shooting stars
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2011, 06:40:05 AM »
It is true that astrology uses the signs of the Zodiac in a corrupted form and on a lower plane, but it is not true that astrology invented them or originated them. The failures and sins of men do not disannul the truth of God, neither do their misuses and perversions of His gifts disprove their divine source or holy intent. The perversion of the Gospel of Jesus Christ into the blinding darkness of static creeds, dogmas, ritual, ceremony, and tradition comprising the abominations of the harlot church system does not prove Jesus of Nazareth an imposter nor the testimony of His holy apostles and prophets undivine or untrue.

The MAZZAROTH--the signs of the Zodiac--are bought forth each night by the skillful hand of God. These constellations were sprinkled by His hand across the sky as He garnished the heaven's and created the figures which we now know as the figures of the Zodiac. They tell a glorious tale of creation and redemption, a glorious revelation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He has written this with His own hand; He has created the stars; He has named and numbered and ordered them. As there are twelve Patriarchs and twelve tribes of Israel and twelve apostles of the Lamb and twelve gates and foundations

 The reality that lies behind what is commonly known today as horoscopes and behind the common signs of the Zodiac is an original revelation designed by God --a revelation not of pagan mythology or superstitious powers, but of the wonderful truths of God's grand and glorious plan of the ages through His anointed Christ, written in the very stars of heaven. It points to a wonderful progression as we begin in Genesis with the promised seed of the woman (Virgo) and end in the book's Revelation with LEO, the conquering Lion of the tribe of Judah!

Do you know that one reason God' s children do not hunger and thirst after righteousness and follow on to be conformed into the image of the Son, is because they have not taken the steps that went before? With the things of God, there is a progression just as there is in any school;  the WAY, the PATH, the journey into the fullness of God BY STEPS!

The reality that lies behind what is commonly known today as horoscopes and behind the common signs of the Zodiac is an original revelation designed by God --a revelation not of pagan mythology or superstitious powers, but of the wonderful truths of God's grand and glorious plan of the ages through His anointed Christ, written in the very stars of heaven. - J. Preston Eby

Whosoever calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Neither should there be vulgar speech, foolish talk, or coarse jesting--all of which are out of character--but rather thanksgiving.  Eph. 5:4  **  Saved 1John 3.2, Eph. 2:8, John 1:12 - Being saved 2Cor. 4:16 2Peter 3:18 - Will be saved 1Peter 1:5 Romans 8:23

Offline jabcat

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Re: shooting stars
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2011, 06:48:04 AM »
God spoke to you through his creation.  Isn't it great to know you were on His mind? :)
Neither should there be vulgar speech, foolish talk, or coarse jesting--all of which are out of character--but rather thanksgiving.  Eph. 5:4  **  Saved 1John 3.2, Eph. 2:8, John 1:12 - Being saved 2Cor. 4:16 2Peter 3:18 - Will be saved 1Peter 1:5 Romans 8:23

Offline WhiteWings

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Re: shooting stars
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2011, 08:30:15 AM »
 :welcome: Miss Placed  :thumbsup:
1 Timothy 2:3-4  ...God our Savior;  Who will have all men to be saved...
John 12:47  And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.
Romans 4:5 But to the one who does not work, but believes in the one who declares the ungodly righteous ...

Offline Nathan

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Re: shooting stars
« Reply #8 on: September 09, 2011, 02:18:52 AM »
I'm also extremely excited for you that you've come into the life of God's true nature and I really enjoyed your out-pouring and I pray that God will continue to blow your mind with his depth, width and height of infinite love and grace.  Welcome to the tent where life abounds for the whole world . . .they just aren't aware of it . . . .yet . . ..

missplaced

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Re: shooting stars
« Reply #9 on: September 09, 2011, 03:42:37 AM »
Thank you everyone :)

If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me. ~ Psalm 139:9

Anyone can slay a dragon, he told me. But try waking up every morning & loving the world all over again; that's what takes a real hero. ~Brian Andreas