Welcome. I'm new here myself...your story has some similarities to mine. I've been a believer/doubter/struggler most of my life. God has led me here, I believe He's done the same for you. He's much bigger than us, including all our crud, and He loves us anyway, holding us in His hands. He knows how to take care of you...He is only up to good, only has your best interest in mind...I haven't always realized it, but He's been showing me through UR, and He can show you, He's a God we can trust and love. Stay in touch, God's blessing, James.