On a personal note.. as to why sometimes, and in case i came across as having no struggles, never failing, etc, since mneopause began i've been having a terrible problem since finding myself once again doing childcare, so easily angered, which i have to guard, one reason being as I have the two small children weekdays and don't want to be all the time annoyed and irritated (during evening duties either!).. but then too, my quiet times with the Lord have been greatly reduced so the strength and grace I need has been harder to come by.
The reason? as some of you have talked about.. I was wondering about that, because after prolonged anger comes deep dark depression and yes, thAt is a sin i greatly wish to avoid.. yet I did find out (and am doing better since:) that the anger and frustration i was feeling very definitely had a reason and a good one.. there was something needed to be gotten out of the way..
the other evening, as the sun was slanting its beautiful peridot rays under the trees (a time of day i love, the cool of the evening) i did get the chance for some quality time with the Lord, and had a 'breakthrough' - and i hope no one is bothered by my sharing it
, but i don't have a church body and well, sometimes one just wants to share with fellow believers.. the Lord showed when i feel limited, can't do the things i want, can't pursue the Lord as i like, etc, i feel smothered.. i remember being smothered as punishments as a child, but have never remembered the feelings.. fighting, screaming, yes, can remember some of the episodes, but not any feelings i felt.. you likely see where this is going.. if i feel smothered in life, the original anger was coming up.. and out.. and thus was i feeling more annoyance, irritation and anger than normally would..
This was exactly the question i had been asking the Lord, why was i feeling so very out of sorts? (when i love Him so much)? i have the same circumstances going on but am doing much better because of this breakthrough/deliverance, which inside my being was surely needed.. praise JaH!!