Author Topic: Want to tell parents.  (Read 931 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Lupac

  • Guest
Want to tell parents.
« on: November 23, 2009, 05:51:23 AM »
Hi, I want to tell my parents what I've learned, about hell, and UR. But I'm afraid they won't listen. I'm also afraid they'll be mad at me, or think I'm a heretic or something. What should I do? I don't like the church I am currently attending, but I don't want to rock the boat ether. I'm just not sure what to do. Thanks.

Gab

  • Guest
Re: Want to tell parents.
« Reply #1 on: November 23, 2009, 05:55:54 AM »
Don't take this as anything more than my personal experience, but I've found that the provision of information tends to be at its most productive when given in response to someone who already seems to be interested in talking about the subject.  For example, if someone starts talking about eternal torment, that's when I'll start by saying "well, actually..."  I've found that people tend not to respond terribly well when you unsolicitedly go up to them and basically tell them, "Hi.  You didn't ask, but I'm here to tell you that you're wrong!"

We always need to be mindful of whether our intention truly is to bring others to the light, or whether we're only trying to contrast ourselves with others to appear righteous to God.

Lupac

  • Guest
Re: Want to tell parents.
« Reply #2 on: November 23, 2009, 06:12:04 AM »
Yeah, that's true. I guess if the opportunity presents itself, I'll say something. But otherwise, no.

Online WhiteWings

  • Gold
  • *
  • Posts: 13057
  • Gender: Male
  • Yahshua heals
    • My sites
Re: Want to tell parents.
« Reply #3 on: November 23, 2009, 10:25:35 AM »
I agree with Gab.
Playing the innocent fool can also be a way. You know just things like being confused about "all verses" while it"s so very clear most goto hell.
But I'm not sure it's good you tell them for another year. In several mails you wrote OCD easily gets a grip on you.
Although your parents are wrong they really believe what they believe. So they will start proving your are wrong.
Because they truely believe they are right and because they care for you. If that happens Lupac, can you withstand the pressure? Can you keep your OCD to the background? If not I think the time is not there yet.
Plus if you start a discussion you should be able to answer even the most complex rebutals. If not you are just proved wrong and noone benefits.

Your life.
Your call.
My  :2c:
1 Timothy 2:3-4  ...God our Savior;  Who will have all men to be saved...
John 12:47  And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.
Romans 4:5 But to the one who does not work, but believes in the one who declares the ungodly righteous ...

Offline Redlettervoice

  • 500
  • *
  • Posts: 790
Re: Want to tell parents.
« Reply #4 on: November 23, 2009, 01:06:03 PM »


Wait ...........til you "KNOW" ........and have no doubts.

I believe it is "wrong" to try to "be" God!!

It makes it worse instead of better.

Lupac

  • Guest
Re: Want to tell parents.
« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2009, 05:36:44 PM »
Well, my Mom was reading her Bible last night, and I kind of started talking to her, kind of about different things in the Bible. I talked to her a little, and she was open to the idea of UR.

Online WhiteWings

  • Gold
  • *
  • Posts: 13057
  • Gender: Male
  • Yahshua heals
    • My sites
Re: Want to tell parents.
« Reply #6 on: November 23, 2009, 06:32:55 PM »
Wow! Lupac turned into the teacher of the family :winkgrin:
Make sure you control your OCD when your mother asks you a question you have no answer for.
Very likely it's already answered in an article on the front page.
1 Timothy 2:3-4  ...God our Savior;  Who will have all men to be saved...
John 12:47  And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.
Romans 4:5 But to the one who does not work, but believes in the one who declares the ungodly righteous ...

Lupac

  • Guest
Re: Want to tell parents.
« Reply #7 on: November 23, 2009, 07:57:21 PM »
I have most of my answers now. Thank you all for helping me. It seemed the biggest thing she had trouble with, was she believes, like most people, that once you die that's it, there's no second chance to be converted. I told her to tell me what verse in the bible says that. Even I have searched for one, and there isn't one. I wasn't able to get to the true purpose of the LoF, I don't know if I will bring it up again, I just wanted to make sure she didn't think I was insane, going to hell, etc. She and my Dad believe very strongly in going to a church, having communion, and other stuff like that.

They also are very strong believers in fighting, and going to war for what you believe in.  I don't know. They think, especially my Mom, that this country was founded on Christian principles, and God blessed this country, until abortion got started. I believe abortion is wrong, but I fail to see how this country was founded on Christianity, with all the wars that were fought, and all the people that died, to get this country started. They really dislike pacifists. I'm not a pacifist, I believe in self defense, but I'm opposed to war in most circumstances. I think that's what Jesus would do, but I'm not sure. For example, with all the crap going on in Washington right now. (Cap and Tax, Health Care bill, Higher Taxes.) Some states and people, (Mostly in the west and south.) are talking about breaking away form the US and forming a new country. I don't think that will happen, but if it does, my parents are just about ready to go to war over it. If it ever came to that, I... don't know if it would be right. Like I said, I seriously doubt that will ever happen, but my Mom said only a pansy would not want to fight for freedom. (Her words, not mine.)

Online WhiteWings

  • Gold
  • *
  • Posts: 13057
  • Gender: Male
  • Yahshua heals
    • My sites
Re: Want to tell parents.
« Reply #8 on: November 23, 2009, 08:19:20 PM »
I have most of my answers now. Thank you all for helping me. It seemed the biggest thing she had trouble with, was she believes, like most people, that once you die that's it, there's no second chance to be converted.
I told her to tell me what verse in the bible says that. Even I have searched for one, and there isn't one.
I think your mother was looking for this often used verse:
Hebrews 9:27 It is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment.
Quote
I wasn't able to get to the true purpose of the LoF, I don't know if I will bring it up again, I just wanted to make sure she didn't think I was insane, going to hell, etc. She and my Dad believe very strongly in going to a church, having communion, and other stuff like that.
You can expect your mother to abandon a belief she had whole her life because you had a little chat with her.
Don't answer if you concider it private.
From your last 2 posts I got the impression your mother is quite open to the idea.
Do you think that's just because you are her son so she treats you with love?
Or because hell never felt ok in her heart?
Quote
They also are very strong believers in fighting, and going to war for what you believe in.  I don't know. They think, especially my Mom, that this country was founded on Christian principles, and God blessed this country, until abortion got started. I believe abortion is wrong, but I fail to see how this country was founded on Christianity, with all the wars that were fought, and all the people that died, to get this country started.
Perhaps the laws etc are Christian based. etc etc. But as you wrote all the wars. Ask the Indians about Christian love.
The Bible speak about a sheep following the voice of a shepard. This is not just about the USA. Every nation has a shepard (king, president, etc). And that shepard leads people to war or peace. And if the sheep don't follow the iron rod is used.
So even if the nation is Christian but the shepard is not Christian then....
Quote
They really dislike pacifists. I'm not a pacifist, I believe in self defense, but I'm opposed to war in most circumstances.
Show of force can also keep peace. A huge guy has far less chance to get mugged as a old little lady.
Sad but very true.
Quote
but my Mom said only a pansy would not want to fight for freedom. (Her words, not mine.)
I wonder if she still feels that way if are in the army fighting for that freedom....
« Last Edit: November 23, 2009, 08:55:24 PM by WhiteWings »
1 Timothy 2:3-4  ...God our Savior;  Who will have all men to be saved...
John 12:47  And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.
Romans 4:5 But to the one who does not work, but believes in the one who declares the ungodly righteous ...

Lupac

  • Guest
Re: Want to tell parents.
« Reply #9 on: November 24, 2009, 07:55:43 PM »
She's not as open to the idea as I had thought. She believes in hell, but she doesn't think all the people the church says will go there will. Only the ones who truly reject God, and the really evil people, or something like that. I don't know. She said she never thought about it. That's how she is; instead of trying to reason things out, she just rather not think about them. She's also, as you (WW) said, not willing to give up the beliefs she's had all her life.

I haven't really talked to my Dad about it, I don't really want to ether. He would probably say the same thing, but he wouldn't be upset if that's what I wanted to believe. My Dad and Mom are very different, sort of. My Mom was always that "good Christian girl". Never missed church, etc. She also has, kind of an illusion about the past. Anything that her church (Presbyterian) did when she was a little girl in the 60s is the best way, in her mind. My Dad was different, he was always a Christian, but he was more laid back about it. My Mom was the fundie, while he was the "love God and love your neighbor and everything will work out" kind of guy. That's what I've been told by my (much) older sister. After he married my Mom, he became more like her. I'm not trying to paint my Mom in a bad light, just trying to show you how she thinks.

Anyway, I'm just not going to talk to them about it. If God calls them to believe it, it's God's duty. (I hope that's not disrespectful.) I doubt I'd be able to get them to see it anyway. They'd rather hear men like R.C. Sprol JR, and Doug Wilson, then listen to what I believe (But they don't.), the Bible teaches.

Offline Cardinal

  • < Moderator >
  • *
  • Posts: 8431
  • Gender: Female
Re: Want to tell parents.
« Reply #10 on: November 24, 2009, 08:02:12 PM »
 :cloud9: Not all kinds of trees come into fruit in the same season. Everyone has a different season. You planted a seed, now you wait; adding water as they draw from your well. Better to let people draw from the well sometimes, than us try to drown them with what they're not ready for. Blessings....
"I would rather train twenty men to pray, than a thousand to preach; A minister's highest mission ought to be to teach his people to pray." -H. MacGregor

Offline sven

  • 500
  • *
  • Posts: 623
  • Gender: Male
Re: Want to tell parents.
« Reply #11 on: November 24, 2009, 08:04:46 PM »
Quote
Only the ones who truly reject God, and the really evil people, or something like that. I don't know. She said she never thought about it.

sounds very similar as what my parents believed, though they said to believe in hell, they actually did not, they believe both in annihilation now, but only that those who willfully reject God will be destroyed.

But I'm glad that they at least decidedly reject the doctrine of everlasting torment now

Online WhiteWings

  • Gold
  • *
  • Posts: 13057
  • Gender: Male
  • Yahshua heals
    • My sites
Re: Want to tell parents.
« Reply #12 on: November 24, 2009, 09:38:43 PM »
She's not as open to the idea as I had thought. She believes in hell, but she doesn't think all the people the church says will go there will. Only the ones who truly reject God, and the really evil people, or something like that.
What about allah fearing muslim X? Or never tribesman Y that never met anyone outside is little village in the Amazon forrest? And Z....?
Quote
I don't know. She said she never thought about it. That's how she is; instead of trying to reason things out, she just rather not think about them. She's also, as you (WW) said, not willing to give up the beliefs she's had all her life.
I think she doesn't have a real choice in that. Neither do you. And I ofcourse. Opnions are based on fact. False or true it doesn't matter. Hers is based on what she heard in church. But the verses you gave your mother are also little facts.
And perhaps. Perhaps! After 500 little facts her opinion starts to change. I think very few people don't change opnions in their life. Maybe I'm lonely in that. But I think not because if I reda this forum well, many people here believed similar things as your mother. Some are even mods IIRC.
Quote
I haven't really talked to my Dad about it, I don't really want to ether. He would probably say the same thing, but he wouldn't be upset if that's what I wanted to believe. My Dad and Mom are very different, sort of. My Mom was always that "good Christian girl". Never missed church, etc. She also has, kind of an illusion about the past. Anything that her church (Presbyterian) did when she was a little girl in the 60s is the best way, in her mind. My Dad was different, he was always a Christian, but he was more laid back about it. My Mom was the fundie, while he was the "love God and love your neighbor and everything will work out" kind of guy.
Your mother is open and the 'kind girl' That sounds much diffrent from the many hate-posters from "her" church. Your father is laid back. Likely that means kinda open too.
I have no business in your family affairs but why not sit around the table in a relaxed atmosphere with a few snack.
Just some chit chat. No huge lists of verses. Just testing the waters. What Christian can object to a Bible study?
Gonna get a doctors appointment. I'm starting to sound like  a Pastor :laughing7:
Quote
That's what I've been told by my (much) older sister. After he married my Mom, he became more like her. I'm not trying to paint my Mom in a bad light, just trying to show you how she thinks.
That's no problem because I already know my mom is the best :winkgrin:
Quote
Anyway, I'm just not going to talk to them about it. If God calls them to believe it, it's God's duty.
Ok Lupac. I've read this after what I wrote above. So I don't delete it. Mark my words Lupac. In a year. Yep a year! you can't keep all the UR inside and you will talk with your parents. If not Martin buys you a beer  :laughing7:
1 Timothy 2:3-4  ...God our Savior;  Who will have all men to be saved...
John 12:47  And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.
Romans 4:5 But to the one who does not work, but believes in the one who declares the ungodly righteous ...

Lupac

  • Guest
Re: Want to tell parents.
« Reply #13 on: November 26, 2009, 07:51:22 PM »
My Mom told me yesterday that "Satan is out there, and all the evil in the world comes from him." I had told her before I even found TM that I didn't believe all evil came from Satan, and I had doubt on how much power he actually has. People don't need Satan to be evil, all they need is themselves. I still believe that, but she doesn't. I didn't say anything to her, I just said "okay" and dropped it. I don't really care what she believes. She is a Christian, and loves Jesus, and she's doing what she thinks God wants her to do, that's good enough for me.