Andromeda, I'm going to tell you a true story. I was going across a bridge across a dam not far from here one day a couple of years ago with my daughter. As I hit the middle, all of a sudden I was overwhelmed by thoughts of suicide and taking my car and crashing over the side, to kill us both.
Now what made this EXTREMELY startling is; I had NO THOUGHTS of suicide AT ALL, and was not in way depressed, prior to this exact moment. Now because I recognized it as the thief that it is, I took authority over it in His name and loosed the fire of the living God to consume it, and it was dealt with.
Now I don't get the newspaper, so I didn't know until I related this to a friend who does, that two different incidents of people jumping off that bridge to commit suicide had happened two weeks prior to my experience. I believe God allowed it to come to me to take authority over it, so it couldn't kill anyone else, and since then, as far as I know, no one else has jumped. I think it was hanging around that bridge, hoping to catch someone else in the fowler's net.
The problem is, when something like this catches someone who IS depressed, and doesn't know the Word, they mistakenly think that the thoughts they are being bombarded with, are their own. THEY ARE NOT. Satan speaks to us, just like a thought, although it's not our thought. The thief cometh not but to kill, steal and destroy, and this is a thief to you, and you MUST stand against it, speak to it out loud even.
I cannot stress this enough (and I will be praying for you the second I finish this post), but there is a spiritual warfare realm and it is obvious you are in it, and YOU MUST, MUST, MUST, put on your armor of the Spirit and begin to recognize who the Word says you are in Him and take that authority and USE IT. You are more than a conqueror through Him, you have HIS righteousness, His Spirit, His power, His measure of faith, and His Word to begin to do battle with.
He gave you all of these things and more because He loves you and prizes you above all else. He has a plan for your life, and if the enemy of your soul is trying this hard to take you out, it must be something and I don't think you would want to miss it.
I tell you what He had me to do when I first came to Him. I stood on one scripture, which I spoke out loud for at least 2 months, until it got down into my spirit. It was this one.......
Luke 10:19 - Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.
I think it would do you a world of good to do the same, at the same time commanding that thing to be loosed into the fire of God. Blessings to you.....