Author Topic: Fornication Help  (Read 1240 times)

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Offline crisgreen

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Fornication Help
« on: September 04, 2013, 10:55:17 PM »
Hi,

This is my first post so I apologize if I'm posting in the wrong section. I need some advice.

My girlfriend and I have been in an relationship for more than 2 years. We fornicated since the beginning but only recently I came to God. I started to read more and more about Him and about the Bible, especially the parable with the 99 sheep which stills brings tears to my eyes. I stumbled again with fornication, I fell on my knees, repented then I did it again and I asked Him to help me overcome lust. I've had troubles with masturbation since I was a little kid (discovered it accidentally) then pornography came etc. I'm trying to be more patient, more loving, not to disrespect my parents, love my body. It's been 2 weeks since I gave up cigarettes. I really am trying but after so much time sinning it really is hard.

I told my girlfriend that we need to behave until marriage and she initially agreed then gave me an ultimatum, either sex or I leave. She gave reasons that she's too young to lose her youth (we're both 24). After some talking with her I told her that we can get married in 12-18 months (in the past she always talked about marriage). I'd do it even sooner but money's tight and it's not that easy. Now she says she's afraid of marriage and doesn't want that. I refused to have sex again because my heart now says "don't". So she left... She gave it all up if she didn't get sex... Everything...

I'm heartbroken but I don't want to disappoint God and go down with lust and fornication yet again. I see the hate, anger, disappointment it brings if sex is not within marriage. It creates a strong bond between 2 people and now I feel the pain if we're not together. I'm thinking maybe He answered my prayers to overcome lust so he removed the main source of temptation. I thank Him for that.

My best friend tells me that sex is important in a relationship, everywhere I look it's normal to do it before marriage and you're a weirdo or loser if you don't.... It seems like 99% of people say DO and the rest say DON'T/ I know that it's wrong but I really need help. Maybe some verses that would help me.

God bless!


Offline sheila

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Re: Fornication Help
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2013, 11:24:36 PM »
1 Cor 7;2  But since there is so much immorality,each man should have his own wife,and each woman her own husband.

  v 6 I say this as a concession not a command.

  now to the unmarried and to the widows I say; It is good for them to stay unmarried,as I am. But,if they cn not cntrol

 themselves,they should marry,for it is better to marry then to burn with passion.

   avoid movies tv with sexual undertones,romantic love stories.......as w ell as photos[revealing etc]..play basketball,jog..etc

   physical exercize helps...avoid tight trousers...pray pray pray..read spiritual things..participate on the forum


    the guys can most likely be more helpful than I, but until you hear from them..here is my post...............

     GOD BLESS YOUR WILLING SPIRIT..AND HIS GRACE BE UNTO YOU.......YOUNG MAN

Offline jabcat

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Re: Fornication Help
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2013, 12:06:32 AM »
Hi brother.  I feel for you.

I'll keep this short and simple, maybe we can discuss more later.  I applaud you for trying to be strong.  On the other hand, sometimes we're strongest when we admit to Him, "Lord, I want to please you.  But I'm weak.  I just can't do this without you.  I surrender to you.  I'm in your hands.  Help me".   A scripture that for me goes with this is, "present your bodies a living sacrifice..holy and acceptable to Him".   For ME, one way to live that is to lay it all before Him, all of what I have in a situation before Him - on the altar (sacrifice).  IMO, just in that there's obedience.

Another verse that goes with that is, "in my weakness He is strong" [He shows HIS strength through/to us].

A third one is, "it's doesn't depend on human will or effort, but on God who shows mercy". Rom. 9:16

Then a fourth one that's related by extension (if we can see "poor" here to mean "without what our flesh wants") -   Proverbs 19:1   Better is the poor walking in his integrity, than the perverse in his lips, who is a fool.

Blessings, and you'll be remembered in prayer.  James.

anna274

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Re: Fornication Help
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2013, 12:31:43 AM »
Hi brother.  I feel for you.

I'll keep this short and simple, maybe we can discuss more later.  I applaud you for trying to be strong.  On the other hand, sometimes we're strongest when we admit to Him, "Lord, I want to please you.  But I'm weak.  I just can't do this without you.  I surrender to you.  I'm in your hands.  Help me".   A scripture that for me goes with this is, "present your bodies a living sacrifice..holy and acceptable to Him".   For ME, one way to live that is to lay it all before Him, all of what I have in a situation before Him - on the altar (sacrifice).  IMO, just in that there's obedience.

Another verse that goes with that is, "in my weakness He is strong" [He shows HIS strength through/to us].

A third one is, "it's doesn't depend on human will or effort, but on God who shows mercy". Rom. 9:16

Then a fourth one that's related by extension (if we can see "poor" here to mean "without what our flesh wants") -   Proverbs 19:1   Better is the poor walking in his integrity, than the perverse in his lips, who is a fool.

Blessings, and you'll be remembered in prayer.  James.

I agree with James-- 

and I have only one thing to add-- from my own very painful struggle (alcoholism and promiscuity) and deliverance thereof... but first, I need to commend you... you seem to have reached that bottom and have taken the first step... reaching out to God... well, maybe I won't give you details ... just know that you are in the prayers of one who understands...  anna

Offline JulieTang84

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Re: Fornication Help
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2013, 01:15:09 AM »
I commend you also, but will add just a little to the wonderful advice already given.


It's so hard losing someone you love/d, but better now than later I think. Sex is perhaps the last thing a relationship is based on.


Just know this please  :HeartThrob:  Father does not judge us as nearly as hard as we judge ourselves. Please do not beat yourself up because you fall short. The simple truth is that no one here is perfect and Father knows this. It is not his desire that hang our heads in shame because we fall so short of the prize, rather, as James said, just give yourself to Father and see yourself but a young child of his. Kids mess up and we are his. Share with him your fears and He will bring peace.


Thank you for posting and I hope you know that you are welcomed here with open arms.  :friendstu:


Love Julie
Don't Forget LOVE.

anna274

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Re: Fornication Help
« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2013, 02:58:25 AM »
Hi crisgreen:  Just want you to know that you can read a bit more about my experience with alcoholism/deliverance thereof---  on the Testimonies board (testify here) in a thread that I started under my username goodreport on Sept 12, 2012 entitled "He's Alive, and I'm forgiven"   I also added posts under some of my other usernames Watch/Pray; OneThing; anna274 (my current username).  Be assured of my ongoing prayers and love in Christ, anna.

Offline Ross

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Re: Fornication Help
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2013, 03:17:56 AM »
Hi Chrisgreen;
The law can inflict a problem and cause much guilt.
An interesting thing about the law of marriage is the modern stuff that has heaped up more disputes and causes all sorts of problems. In mans eyes you need to have the paper.
What happened to all those people who could not read and write a couple of hundred years ago?
If the two people were committing to God they were recognized before God.
Adam and Eve did not have a marriage service.
Abraham did not have a marriage service. He joined up with Sarah before God.
The concept pushed is that the two shall become one.
Paul makes an interesting point about the point marriage simulates;
Eph5;31,32 " For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife and they shall be one, the two for one flesh;
this secret is great, AND I SPEAK IN REGARD TO CHRIST AND TO THE ASSEMBLY."

Seems to be saying that we marry with Christ when we become part of Him- the two shall become one: " In Christ" is such a deep reality.
 The flesh copies the scenario to give us an illustration of how to work together in the walk of life. In Christ we walk together with Him in life.
Fellow brother in Christ

Offline jabcat

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Re: Fornication Help
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2013, 03:51:40 AM »
Hi again cris;  I want to clarify a bit, maybe as much for my sake as yours.  :o

It seems things have veered to touch on "what is marriage".  I don't think anyone's saying "fornicate", but some do seem to be saying that marriage isn't necessarily a ceremony at the First Presbyterian Church on the corner of Main.  I personally prefer it be also a legal commitment, but that's opinion/suggestion/personal preference.  Many people who stand before the judge or preacher don't really make a true commitment of their heart before God.

So I don't believe anyone is discouraging a sacred commitment before God to be faithful and to have every intent that be lifelong;  to remain with each other until death do you part.  Everyone must decide for themselves, between them and God, and have a clear conscience, on what marriage exactly "looks like".   :2c:

Tom

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Re: Fornication Help
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2013, 04:36:49 AM »
from jabcat;  I accidentally removed the following post from Tom, and am now replacing it here at the top of this post.  Sorry Tom, was trying to remove something I posted and hit the button before I could catch it and stop it.  One of the dangers of having the mod settings...sometimes too many buttons floating around.   :sigh:

Post accidentally removed from Tom:

Well, the first thing I've got tell you, brother, is that your woman needs to be a believer. The second thing is, if you're going to wait until money isn't tight to get married, you might be waiting a long time. The Greek "gune" means "woman" and "wife," and the Greek "epithumia" means "desire" and "lust." It is natural for males to desire females, but, if you want to act on that desire, you need to choose just one that isn't another man's wife. Don't get paranoid about the raging hormones. You just need to choose one female believer, and be faithful to her. Don't be getting yourself off either or you'll be depriving your woman of what is supposed to be hers. If you choose to remain unmarried, one of the fruits of the spirit is self-control. If you're dating a woman, you're going to want to consummate the relationship at some point. I don't do church anymore. So I'm not going to tell you get married there, but there are other options to make the marriage legal. The important thing is to do the right thing by your woman in the eyes of God. I'd say that means you should cherish her, provide for her, protect her, and remember that God is the source of love and has blessed you with the woman with whom to share love. Christ said we won't be marrying after we're resurrected. So, if you want to go for it, I'd say get it while you can.

"For in the resurrection neither are they marrying nor taking in marriage, but are as messengers of God in heaven." (Matthew 22:30)

Speaking from experience, it's a blessing either way because, as I said, God is the source of love. In fact, God is love. It seems Anna and I have something in common in our past with "alcoholism and promiscuity," but I've been sober and celibate for years. And alcohol wasn't the only chemical I was addicted to. I learned to control my desire not through my own will power but through the power of the spirit of God. You can receive that power too through the word of God. Meditate on it daily, and you will find peace.

"Now the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, self-control" (Galatians 5:22,23)

Here is some good advice from the word of God about marriage and celibacy.

"1 Now, concerning what you write to me: It is ideal for a man not to be touching a woman.
2 Yet, because of prostitutions, let each man have a wife for himself and each woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render to the wife her due, yet likewise the wife also to the husband.
4 The wife has not the jurisdiction of her own body, but the husband, yet likewise the husband also has not the jurisdiction of his own body, but the wife.
5 Do not deprive one another, except sometime it should be by agreement for a period, that you should have leisure for prayer, and you may be the same again, lest Satan may be trying you because of your incontinence.
6 Now this I am saying as a concession, not as an injunction.
7 For I want all men to be as I myself also, but each has his own gracious gift from God, one indeed, thus, yet one thus.
8 Now I am saying to the unmarried and the widows, that it is ideal for them if ever they should be remaining even as I.
9 Yet if they are not controlling themselves, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to be on fire.
10 Now to the married I am charging, not I, but the Lord: A wife is not to be separated from her husband.
11 Yet if she should be separated also, let her remain unmarried or be conciliated to her husband. And a husband is not to leave his wife.
12 Now to the rest am I speaking, not the Lord. If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she approves of making a home with him, let him not leave her.
13 And a wife who has an unbelieving husband, and he approves of making a home with her, let her not leave her husband.
14 For the unbelieving husband is hallowed by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is hallowed by the brother, else, consequently, your children are unclean. Yet now they are holy.
15 Yet if the unbeliever is separating, let him separate. A brother or a sister is not enslaved in such a case. Now God has called us in peace.
16 For of what are you aware, O wife -- will you be saving your husband -- or of what are you aware, O husband -- will you be saving your wife --
17 except as the Lord parts it to each? Each as God has called him, thus let him be walking. And thus am I prescribing in all the ecclesias.
18 Was anyone called having been circumcised? Let him not be de-circumcised. Is anyone called in uncircumcision? Let him not circumcise.
19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the precepts of God.
20 Each one in the calling in which he was called, in this let him be remaining.
21 Were you called a slave? Let it not be causing you care. But if you are able to become free also, use it rather.
22 For, in the Lord, he who is being called a slave, is the Lord's freedman. Likewise, he who is being called, being free, is a slave of Christ.
23 With a price are you bought. Do not become the slaves of men.
24 Each one, in what he was called, brethren, in this let him remain with God.
25 Now concerning the celibates or virgins, I have no injunction of the Lord. Yet an opinion am I giving, as one who has enjoyed mercy by the Lord to be faithful.
26 I am inferring, then, this ideal to be inherent, because of the present necessity, for it is ideal for humanity to be thus.
27 You are bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. You have been loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
28 Yet if you ever should be marrying, also, you did not sin. And if the virgin should be marrying, she did not sin. Yet affliction in the flesh will such be having. Yet I am sparing you.
29 Now this I am averring, brethren, the era is limited; that, furthermore, those also having wives may be as not having them,
30 and those lamenting as not lamenting, and those rejoicing as not rejoicing, and those buying as not retaining,
31 and those using this world as not using it up. For the fashion of this world is passing by.
32 Now I want you to be without worry. The unmarried one is solicitous about the things of the Lord, how he should be pleasing the Lord.
33 Yet he who marries is solicitous about the things of the world, how he should be pleasing his wife,
34 and is parted. The unmarried woman as well as the virgin: the unmarried one is solicitous about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy in body as well as in spirit, yet she who marries is solicitous about the things of the world, how she should be pleasing her husband.
35 Now this I am saying for your own expedience, not that I should be casting a noose over you, but for that which is respectable and assiduous -- to be undistractedly for the Lord.
36 Now if anyone is inferring it to be indecent for his virgin, if she should be over her meridian, and thus it ought to occur, what he will, let him do. He is not sinning. Let them marry.
37 Yet he who stands settled in his heart, having no necessity, yet has authority as to his own will, and has decided this in his own heart (to be keeping his virgin) ideally will be doing.
38 So that he also who is taking his virgin in marriage, ideally will be doing, yet he who is not taking out in marriage will be doing better.
39 A wife is bound by law for whatever time her husband is living. Yet if the husband should be reposing, she is free to be married to whom she will, only in the Lord.
40 Yet happier is she if ever she should be remaining thus, according to my opinion. Now I presume that I also have God's spirit." (1 Corinthians 7:1-40)

Some ladies don't like the fact that the word of God says the wife should be subject to the husband, but that's what it says about marriage even though there is no male and female in Christ. 

"For whoever are baptized into Christ, put on Christ, in Whom there is no Jew nor yet Greek, there is no slave nor yet free, there is no male and female, for you all are one in Christ Jesus." (Galatians 3:27,28)

"Now I want you to be aware that the Head of every man is Christ, yet the head of the woman is the man, yet the Head of Christ is God." (1 Corinthians 11:3)

"22 Let the wives be subject to their own husbands, as to the Lord,
23 for the husband is head of the wife even as Christ is Head of the ecclesia, and He is the Saviour of the body.
24 Nevertheless, as the ecclesia is subject to Christ, thus are the wives also to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, be loving your wives according as Christ also loves the ecclesia, and gives Himself up for its sake,
26 that He should be hallowing it, cleansing it in the bath of the water (with His declaration),
27 that He should be presenting to Himself a glorious ecclesia, not having spot or wrinkle or any such things, but that it may be holy and flawless.
28 Thus, the husbands also ought to be loving their own wives as their own bodies. He who is loving his own wife is loving himself.
29 For no one at any time hates his own flesh, but is nurturing and cherishing it, according as Christ also the ecclesia,
30 for we are members of His body.
31 For this "a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh."
32 This secret is great: yet I am saying this as to Christ and as to the ecclesia.
33 Moreover, you also individually, each be loving his own wife thus, as himself, yet that the wife may be fearing the husband." (Ephesians 5:22-33)

The important thing to remember is don't try to control your desire by yourself. Let the overwhelming power of God's love give you peace while you're searching for your wife, and, when you find her, thank God and be good to her. God bless you, bro.   

 woman.PNG (57.61 kB, 526x603 - viewed 1 times.)

 desire.PNG (50.76 kB, 535x546 - viewed 1 times.)



---------------------------------------------
This post;

I think this is marriage.

"Therefore a man shall forsake his father and his mother and cling to his wife, and they two become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24)

I don't think you really need a church official to sanction it or a secular official to legalize it, but that would be beneficial for financial benefits for the spouse and for the sake of your kids. The important thing is to have a commitment to be faithful to each other and God. I have done it both ways.   

The Concordant Version doesn't use the word "fornication." It uses "prostitution" for the Greek "porneia" and "porneuo" for "prostitute" "prostitution (commit) have unlawful intercourse of the sexes." But against whose law, man or God's? That's why I say, whether you make it legal with the state or not, you need to make it right with God.
« Last Edit: September 05, 2013, 06:49:46 AM by jabcat »

Offline crisgreen

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Re: Fornication Help
« Reply #9 on: September 05, 2013, 05:34:33 AM »
Thank you for all your help, prayers and for the warm welcome on the forums!
« Last Edit: September 05, 2013, 05:39:17 AM by crisgreen »

Tom

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Re: Fornication Help
« Reply #10 on: September 05, 2013, 06:23:12 PM »
from jabcat;  I accidentally removed the following post from Tom, and am now replacing it here at the top of this post.  Sorry Tom, was trying to remove something I posted and hit the button before I could catch it and stop it.  One of the dangers of having the mod settings...sometimes too many buttons floating around.   :sigh:

Post accidentally removed from Tom:

Well, the first thing I've got tell you, brother, is that your woman needs to be a believer. The second thing is, if you're going to wait until money isn't tight to get married, you might be waiting a long time. The Greek "gune" means "woman" and "wife," and the Greek "epithumia" means "desire" and "lust." It is natural for males to desire females, but, if you want to act on that desire, you need to choose just one that isn't another man's wife. Don't get paranoid about the raging hormones. You just need to choose one female believer, and be faithful to her. Don't be getting yourself off either or you'll be depriving your woman of what is supposed to be hers. If you choose to remain unmarried, one of the fruits of the spirit is self-control. If you're dating a woman, you're going to want to consummate the relationship at some point. I don't do church anymore. So I'm not going to tell you get married there, but there are other options to make the marriage legal. The important thing is to do the right thing by your woman in the eyes of God. I'd say that means you should cherish her, provide for her, protect her, and remember that God is the source of love and has blessed you with the woman with whom to share love. Christ said we won't be marrying after we're resurrected. So, if you want to go for it, I'd say get it while you can.

"For in the resurrection neither are they marrying nor taking in marriage, but are as messengers of God in heaven." (Matthew 22:30)

Speaking from experience, it's a blessing either way because, as I said, God is the source of love. In fact, God is love. It seems Anna and I have something in common in our past with "alcoholism and promiscuity," but I've been sober and celibate for years. And alcohol wasn't the only chemical I was addicted to. I learned to control my desire not through my own will power but through the power of the spirit of God. You can receive that power too through the word of God. Meditate on it daily, and you will find peace.

"Now the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, self-control" (Galatians 5:22,23)

Here is some good advice from the word of God about marriage and celibacy.

"1 Now, concerning what you write to me: It is ideal for a man not to be touching a woman.
2 Yet, because of prostitutions, let each man have a wife for himself and each woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render to the wife her due, yet likewise the wife also to the husband.
4 The wife has not the jurisdiction of her own body, but the husband, yet likewise the husband also has not the jurisdiction of his own body, but the wife.
5 Do not deprive one another, except sometime it should be by agreement for a period, that you should have leisure for prayer, and you may be the same again, lest Satan may be trying you because of your incontinence.
6 Now this I am saying as a concession, not as an injunction.
7 For I want all men to be as I myself also, but each has his own gracious gift from God, one indeed, thus, yet one thus.
8 Now I am saying to the unmarried and the widows, that it is ideal for them if ever they should be remaining even as I.
9 Yet if they are not controlling themselves, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to be on fire.
10 Now to the married I am charging, not I, but the Lord: A wife is not to be separated from her husband.
11 Yet if she should be separated also, let her remain unmarried or be conciliated to her husband. And a husband is not to leave his wife.
12 Now to the rest am I speaking, not the Lord. If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she approves of making a home with him, let him not leave her.
13 And a wife who has an unbelieving husband, and he approves of making a home with her, let her not leave her husband.
14 For the unbelieving husband is hallowed by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is hallowed by the brother, else, consequently, your children are unclean. Yet now they are holy.
15 Yet if the unbeliever is separating, let him separate. A brother or a sister is not enslaved in such a case. Now God has called us in peace.
16 For of what are you aware, O wife -- will you be saving your husband -- or of what are you aware, O husband -- will you be saving your wife --
17 except as the Lord parts it to each? Each as God has called him, thus let him be walking. And thus am I prescribing in all the ecclesias.
18 Was anyone called having been circumcised? Let him not be de-circumcised. Is anyone called in uncircumcision? Let him not circumcise.
19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the precepts of God.
20 Each one in the calling in which he was called, in this let him be remaining.
21 Were you called a slave? Let it not be causing you care. But if you are able to become free also, use it rather.
22 For, in the Lord, he who is being called a slave, is the Lord's freedman. Likewise, he who is being called, being free, is a slave of Christ.
23 With a price are you bought. Do not become the slaves of men.
24 Each one, in what he was called, brethren, in this let him remain with God.
25 Now concerning the celibates or virgins, I have no injunction of the Lord. Yet an opinion am I giving, as one who has enjoyed mercy by the Lord to be faithful.
26 I am inferring, then, this ideal to be inherent, because of the present necessity, for it is ideal for humanity to be thus.
27 You are bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. You have been loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
28 Yet if you ever should be marrying, also, you did not sin. And if the virgin should be marrying, she did not sin. Yet affliction in the flesh will such be having. Yet I am sparing you.
29 Now this I am averring, brethren, the era is limited; that, furthermore, those also having wives may be as not having them,
30 and those lamenting as not lamenting, and those rejoicing as not rejoicing, and those buying as not retaining,
31 and those using this world as not using it up. For the fashion of this world is passing by.
32 Now I want you to be without worry. The unmarried one is solicitous about the things of the Lord, how he should be pleasing the Lord.
33 Yet he who marries is solicitous about the things of the world, how he should be pleasing his wife,
34 and is parted. The unmarried woman as well as the virgin: the unmarried one is solicitous about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy in body as well as in spirit, yet she who marries is solicitous about the things of the world, how she should be pleasing her husband.
35 Now this I am saying for your own expedience, not that I should be casting a noose over you, but for that which is respectable and assiduous -- to be undistractedly for the Lord.
36 Now if anyone is inferring it to be indecent for his virgin, if she should be over her meridian, and thus it ought to occur, what he will, let him do. He is not sinning. Let them marry.
37 Yet he who stands settled in his heart, having no necessity, yet has authority as to his own will, and has decided this in his own heart (to be keeping his virgin) ideally will be doing.
38 So that he also who is taking his virgin in marriage, ideally will be doing, yet he who is not taking out in marriage will be doing better.
39 A wife is bound by law for whatever time her husband is living. Yet if the husband should be reposing, she is free to be married to whom she will, only in the Lord.
40 Yet happier is she if ever she should be remaining thus, according to my opinion. Now I presume that I also have God's spirit." (1 Corinthians 7:1-40)

Some ladies don't like the fact that the word of God says the wife should be subject to the husband, but that's what it says about marriage even though there is no male and female in Christ. 

"For whoever are baptized into Christ, put on Christ, in Whom there is no Jew nor yet Greek, there is no slave nor yet free, there is no male and female, for you all are one in Christ Jesus." (Galatians 3:27,28)

"Now I want you to be aware that the Head of every man is Christ, yet the head of the woman is the man, yet the Head of Christ is God." (1 Corinthians 11:3)

"22 Let the wives be subject to their own husbands, as to the Lord,
23 for the husband is head of the wife even as Christ is Head of the ecclesia, and He is the Saviour of the body.
24 Nevertheless, as the ecclesia is subject to Christ, thus are the wives also to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, be loving your wives according as Christ also loves the ecclesia, and gives Himself up for its sake,
26 that He should be hallowing it, cleansing it in the bath of the water (with His declaration),
27 that He should be presenting to Himself a glorious ecclesia, not having spot or wrinkle or any such things, but that it may be holy and flawless.
28 Thus, the husbands also ought to be loving their own wives as their own bodies. He who is loving his own wife is loving himself.
29 For no one at any time hates his own flesh, but is nurturing and cherishing it, according as Christ also the ecclesia,
30 for we are members of His body.
31 For this "a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh."
32 This secret is great: yet I am saying this as to Christ and as to the ecclesia.
33 Moreover, you also individually, each be loving his own wife thus, as himself, yet that the wife may be fearing the husband." (Ephesians 5:22-33)

The important thing to remember is don't try to control your desire by yourself. Let the overwhelming power of God's love give you peace while you're searching for your wife, and, when you find her, thank God and be good to her. God bless you, bro.   

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This post;

I think this is marriage.

"Therefore a man shall forsake his father and his mother and cling to his wife, and they two become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24)

I don't think you really need a church official to sanction it or a secular official to legalize it, but that would be beneficial for financial benefits for the spouse and for the sake of your kids. The important thing is to have a commitment to be faithful to each other and God. I have done it both ways.   

The Concordant Version doesn't use the word "fornication." It uses "prostitution" for the Greek "porneia" and "porneuo" for "prostitute" "prostitution (commit) have unlawful intercourse of the sexes." But against whose law, man or God's? That's why I say, whether you make it legal with the state or not, you need to make it right with God.

No problem...I know you guys are busy keeping things focused, and you're doing a good job.

Offline jabcat

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Re: Fornication Help
« Reply #11 on: September 05, 2013, 06:26:21 PM »
Thanks Tom.  It's not the first time that's happened, and unfortunately, probably not the last.  :(   Thanks for understanding - or at least being kind.   :grin:

Offline jabcat

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Re: Fornication Help - locked
« Reply #12 on: September 05, 2013, 06:27:26 PM »
Hey cris, you're very welcome brother in Christ.  We're glad you're here, and feel for your very tough situation. 

These type of "mature" topics are a judgment call on an open forum, especially one such as this that is so focused on ultimate reconciliation through Jesus, the Savior of the world.  However, this is a real Christian issue that's clearly addressed in the scripture - so it can be a common problem amongst believers, especially teens and younger adults, or else Paul wouldn't have so directly addressed in the scriptures.

You came as an obviously very sincere person seeking help, and we certainly want to do that.  So the topic was let run awhile, and hopefully you received some helpful input.  I'm going to lock it now, which just means there will be no more posting in it - it will still be available for viewing.  HOWEVER;

if there's a compelling reason you really need this thread to stay open, please Private Message myself or one of the other mods and let us know why and we will certainly consider it.

If you want further assistance with this issue, PLEASE Private Message anyone here, but especially anyone who participated in this thread.  Any of these folks would be happy to help you.

Lastly, please feel free to post in any of the other threads on the boards related to that topic, or start a new thread that has a connection to ultimate reconciliation/the victorious gospel of Jesus Christ/Jesus Savior of the world and folks will join in and discuss it with you.

P.S.  Later on, if you wish to give a testimony/update to what God has done in your life regarding this, I think it would be appropriate to let one of the mods know, and we can open this particular thread back up to give you the opportunity to give that witness.

Revelation says this of the overcomers;  "They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death."

Grace and victory.