from jabcat; I accidentally removed the following post from Tom, and am now replacing it here at the top of this post. Sorry Tom, was trying to remove something I posted and hit the button before I could catch it and stop it. One of the dangers of having the mod settings...sometimes too many buttons floating around. Post accidentally removed from Tom
Well, the first thing I've got tell you, brother, is that your woman needs to be a believer. The second thing is, if you're going to wait until money isn't tight to get married, you might be waiting a long time. The Greek "gune" means "woman" and "wife," and the Greek "epithumia" means "desire" and "lust." It is natural for males to desire females, but, if you want to act on that desire, you need to choose just one that isn't another man's wife. Don't get paranoid about the raging hormones. You just need to choose one female believer, and be faithful to her. Don't be getting yourself off either or you'll be depriving your woman of what is supposed to be hers. If you choose to remain unmarried, one of the fruits of the spirit is self-control. If you're dating a woman, you're going to want to consummate the relationship at some point. I don't do church anymore. So I'm not going to tell you get married there, but there are other options to make the marriage legal. The important thing is to do the right thing by your woman in the eyes of God. I'd say that means you should cherish her, provide for her, protect her, and remember that God is the source of love and has blessed you with the woman with whom to share love. Christ said we won't be marrying after we're resurrected. So, if you want to go for it, I'd say get it while you can.
"For in the resurrection neither are they marrying nor taking in marriage, but are as messengers of God in heaven." (Matthew 22:30)
Speaking from experience, it's a blessing either way because, as I said, God is the source of love. In fact, God is love. It seems Anna and I have something in common in our past with "alcoholism and promiscuity," but I've been sober and celibate for years. And alcohol wasn't the only chemical I was addicted to. I learned to control my desire not through my own will power but through the power of the spirit of God. You can receive that power too through the word of God. Meditate on it daily, and you will find peace.
"Now the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, self-control" (Galatians 5:22,23)
Here is some good advice from the word of God about marriage and celibacy.
"1 Now, concerning what you write to me: It is ideal for a man not to be touching a woman.
2 Yet, because of prostitutions, let each man have a wife for himself and each woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render to the wife her due, yet likewise the wife also to the husband.
4 The wife has not the jurisdiction of her own body, but the husband, yet likewise the husband also has not the jurisdiction of his own body, but the wife.
5 Do not deprive one another, except sometime it should be by agreement for a period, that you should have leisure for prayer, and you may be the same again, lest Satan may be trying you because of your incontinence.
6 Now this I am saying as a concession, not as an injunction.
7 For I want all men to be as I myself also, but each has his own gracious gift from God, one indeed, thus, yet one thus.
8 Now I am saying to the unmarried and the widows, that it is ideal for them if ever they should be remaining even as I.
9 Yet if they are not controlling themselves, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to be on fire.
10 Now to the married I am charging, not I, but the Lord: A wife is not to be separated from her husband.
11 Yet if she should be separated also, let her remain unmarried or be conciliated to her husband. And a husband is not to leave his wife.
12 Now to the rest am I speaking, not the Lord. If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she approves of making a home with him, let him not leave her.
13 And a wife who has an unbelieving husband, and he approves of making a home with her, let her not leave her husband.
14 For the unbelieving husband is hallowed by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is hallowed by the brother, else, consequently, your children are unclean. Yet now they are holy.
15 Yet if the unbeliever is separating, let him separate. A brother or a sister is not enslaved in such a case. Now God has called us in peace.
16 For of what are you aware, O wife -- will you be saving your husband -- or of what are you aware, O husband -- will you be saving your wife --
17 except as the Lord parts it to each? Each as God has called him, thus let him be walking. And thus am I prescribing in all the ecclesias.
18 Was anyone called having been circumcised? Let him not be de-circumcised. Is anyone called in uncircumcision? Let him not circumcise.
19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the precepts of God.
20 Each one in the calling in which he was called, in this let him be remaining.
21 Were you called a slave? Let it not be causing you care. But if you are able to become free also, use it rather.
22 For, in the Lord, he who is being called a slave, is the Lord's freedman. Likewise, he who is being called, being free, is a slave of Christ.
23 With a price are you bought. Do not become the slaves of men.
24 Each one, in what he was called, brethren, in this let him remain with God.
25 Now concerning the celibates or virgins, I have no injunction of the Lord. Yet an opinion am I giving, as one who has enjoyed mercy by the Lord to be faithful.
26 I am inferring, then, this ideal to be inherent, because of the present necessity, for it is ideal for humanity to be thus.
27 You are bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. You have been loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
28 Yet if you ever should be marrying, also, you did not sin. And if the virgin should be marrying, she did not sin. Yet affliction in the flesh will such be having. Yet I am sparing you.
29 Now this I am averring, brethren, the era is limited; that, furthermore, those also having wives may be as not having them,
30 and those lamenting as not lamenting, and those rejoicing as not rejoicing, and those buying as not retaining,
31 and those using this world as not using it up. For the fashion of this world is passing by.
32 Now I want you to be without worry. The unmarried one is solicitous about the things of the Lord, how he should be pleasing the Lord.
33 Yet he who marries is solicitous about the things of the world, how he should be pleasing his wife,
34 and is parted. The unmarried woman as well as the virgin: the unmarried one is solicitous about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy in body as well as in spirit, yet she who marries is solicitous about the things of the world, how she should be pleasing her husband.
35 Now this I am saying for your own expedience, not that I should be casting a noose over you, but for that which is respectable and assiduous -- to be undistractedly for the Lord.
36 Now if anyone is inferring it to be indecent for his virgin, if she should be over her meridian, and thus it ought to occur, what he will, let him do. He is not sinning. Let them marry.
37 Yet he who stands settled in his heart, having no necessity, yet has authority as to his own will, and has decided this in his own heart (to be keeping his virgin) ideally will be doing.
38 So that he also who is taking his virgin in marriage, ideally will be doing, yet he who is not taking out in marriage will be doing better.
39 A wife is bound by law for whatever time her husband is living. Yet if the husband should be reposing, she is free to be married to whom she will, only in the Lord.
40 Yet happier is she if ever she should be remaining thus, according to my opinion. Now I presume that I also have God's spirit." (1 Corinthians 7:1-40)
Some ladies don't like the fact that the word of God says the wife should be subject to the husband, but that's what it says about marriage even though there is no male and female in Christ.
"For whoever are baptized into Christ, put on Christ, in Whom there is no Jew nor yet Greek, there is no slave nor yet free, there is no male and female, for you all are one in Christ Jesus." (Galatians 3:27,28)
"Now I want you to be aware that the Head of every man is Christ, yet the head of the woman is the man, yet the Head of Christ is God." (1 Corinthians 11:3)
"22 Let the wives be subject to their own husbands, as to the Lord,
23 for the husband is head of the wife even as Christ is Head of the ecclesia, and He is the Saviour of the body.
24 Nevertheless, as the ecclesia is subject to Christ, thus are the wives also to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, be loving your wives according as Christ also loves the ecclesia, and gives Himself up for its sake,
26 that He should be hallowing it, cleansing it in the bath of the water (with His declaration),
27 that He should be presenting to Himself a glorious ecclesia, not having spot or wrinkle or any such things, but that it may be holy and flawless.
28 Thus, the husbands also ought to be loving their own wives as their own bodies. He who is loving his own wife is loving himself.
29 For no one at any time hates his own flesh, but is nurturing and cherishing it, according as Christ also the ecclesia,
30 for we are members of His body.
31 For this "a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh."
32 This secret is great: yet I am saying this as to Christ and as to the ecclesia.
33 Moreover, you also individually, each be loving his own wife thus, as himself, yet that the wife may be fearing the husband." (Ephesians 5:22-33)
The important thing to remember is don't try to control your desire by yourself. Let the overwhelming power of God's love give you peace while you're searching for your wife, and, when you find her, thank God and be good to her. God bless you, bro.
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I think this is marriage.
"Therefore a man shall forsake his father and his mother and cling to his wife, and they two become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24)
I don't think you really need a church official to sanction it or a secular official to legalize it, but that would be beneficial for financial benefits for the spouse and for the sake of your kids. The important thing is to have a commitment to be faithful to each other and God. I have done it both ways.
The Concordant Version doesn't use the word "fornication." It uses "prostitution" for the Greek "porneia" and "porneuo" for "prostitute" "prostitution (commit) have unlawful intercourse of the sexes." But against whose law, man or God's? That's why I say, whether you make it legal with the state or not, you need to make it right with God.