As far as the unpardonable sin, I'm sorta standing here as Exhibit-A regarding this sin. Thoughts were the least of what I did several years ago. I know I crossed that line. Christians with no knowledge of what I'd done had some interesting comments for me during that season, that could have only come from the Holy Spirit. I'm not talking about a single incident or even a few incidents. It would be nice to say that I was demonized at the time so that it could be said that perhaps it wasn't me spewing all of that, but....
Jesus said some things about the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, and then He took a beating on His Face and released Water from His side on the Cross in order to separate you from the present time demension. All of these sins have been eternally punished in the Body of Jesus Christ. And if you're moved by the love and atoning work of the Son of God, then take that opportunity to totally cast the whole of your past, of your present, and of your future at His feet.
There are as many demensions of time as there are individuals in the Creation, and Jesus Christ can transport you from that road to destruction and can convey you not only into His loving embrace, heaven, the new earth, etc., but He can part the waters of time that would separate you from Him and He can cast away from you all of that condemnation and raise you up even from this death that you've died in your soul for having committed this sin. I know about this particular death because I died it a few years ago.
Look at the Light and at the Blood in the Light. Don't look at the Darkness. Tune out the laughs and moans that you might hear in your quieter moments. Tune out the nervousness and the bottomless feeling in the pit of your stomach. Reach for that nail pierced Hand as you look into those tear-filled eyes that have never given up on you! He warned you of the danger of this sin and of the magnitude of the damage that you'd create with it. But He's not pushing you away. That's a demon that would try to exclude you from His grace, even if it's quoting Scriptures to you as it did to Jesus when it tempted Him.
You can climb up that well that you've fallen into. Don't let this thing swallow you! God's Hand is on the other side of the mouth of this beast whose belly you feel like you're trapped within. The fear, the shame, the condemnation that you're feeling for having done this isn't coming from your heavenly Father. It's a cloud of deception that's surrounded you whose origins are religious, demonic, and psychic. Grab a Bible and start reading St. Paul's epistles.
If it's still too heavy, then go to one of the healing ministries like Kenneth E. Hagin's or Oral Roberts ministry*
and get an audio copy of the healing Scriptures so you can listen to those over and over and over again. Go to www.haroldlovelace.com
and order a copy of his book on the Universal Restoration. It's called "Read And Search God's Plan...of His mercy upon all..." Read through that book after you've listened to one of those healing Scriptures tapes or CDs a few times and when you get to the Scripture section of Harold's book, just spend hours reading those Scriptures of God's mercy upon all over and over and over again.
In your Bible, read Ephesians, Colossians, and Romans chapter 8 over and over and over again and just bathe your mind in God's Word. You don't have to "produce" something or have anything memorized. Just bathe in it and hide in God's Word from all of the religion, politics, and entertainment industry that surrounds you. This is a season where you're working on something. Hide in God's Word until there's nothing screaming at you any more except for God's passionate, passionate and intoxicating love for you and for all of Creation!
As a bit of clarification, I'm always going to point you in the direction of the Scriptures, more than necessarily at either the particular doctrines of others or whatever, although I may mention specific ministries for the sake of letting you know where to find this or that, that I personally believe would be most helpful. My advocation of a particular product isn't necessarily an advocation of everything that particular teachers and ministries would have to offer in product catalogues or in their meetings. The Scriptures on audio cassette or audio CD are very helpful, particularly when they're as many Scriptures as possible on a particular theme and particularly when the themes are various aspects of the Goodness of our Lord.