forgot this again: Paul said, "for that which I do I allow not: for what I would that do I not; but what I hate, that do I" (Rom. 7:15, 20) "Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me."
Here it is again so you don't forget, and remember this is written by the guy who talked about God's grace the most after being changed from being a persecutor of believers, even responsible for the execution of some, to the apostle that spread the evangel the farthest of them all. It's because of him that those of us of the nations know that we have been blessed with God's grace too. So don't be thinking you're beyond reconciliation with God. God's grace can change your life too if you just believe!
"For what I am effecting I know not, for not what I will, this I am putting into practice, but what I am hating, this I am doing. Now if what I am not willing, this I am doing, I am conceding that the law is ideal. Yet now it is no longer I who am effecting it, but Sin making its home in me. For I am aware that good is not making its home in me (that is, in my flesh), for to will is lying beside me, yet to be effecting the ideal is not. For it is not the good that I will that I am doing, but the evil that I am not willing, this I am putting into practice. Now if what I am not willing, this I am doing, it is no longer I who am effecting it, but Sin which is making its home in me. Consequently, I am finding the law that, at my willing to be doing the ideal, the evil is lying beside me. For I am gratified with the law of God as to the man within, yet I am observing a different law in my members, warring with the law of my mind, and leading me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. A wretched man am I! What will rescue me out of this body of death? Grace! I thank God, through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Consequently, then, I myself, with the mind, indeed, am slaving for God's law, yet with the flesh for Sin's law. Nothing, consequently, is now condemnation to those in Christ Jesus. Not according to flesh are they walking, but according to spirit, for the spirit's law of life in Christ Jesus frees you from the law of sin and death." (Romans 7:15-8:2)