Author Topic: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.  (Read 2533 times)

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At peace

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Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« on: November 20, 2008, 05:08:02 AM »
Hey All.

My wife and three daughters are all believers( not in UR, but traditional evengelical views). I have spoken to my wife about my beliefs and she has been very open minded. She recently told me that she is leaning towards biblical universalism.

My three little girls, thats a different matter. How do I tell them and should I even tell them? They are still young and very impressionable, can I simply explain to them that everything they have been taught is a lie. I think that might cause them to doubt God, they might begin to wonder is there any truth at all then, do you see my predicament.

How many of you told your kids? How long did you wait? What was the outcome?

My children truly love Jesus and I dont want to hinder their spiritual walk. I'm thinking I should wait on God for the right moment.

At peace

Offline jabcat

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2008, 05:29:01 AM »

How many of you told your kids? How long did you wait? What was the outcome?

My children truly love Jesus and I dont want to hinder their spiritual walk. I'm thinking I should wait on God for the right moment. 

At peace

Hey bro.  These are thoughts, not necessarily "answers".  Great about your wife.  My wife too has recently expressed her beliefs and acceptance.  It's really cool and a blessing.

Our kids are older.  When I told my son, he was like "I was sitting listening to the sermon (a week or 2 prior) and I thought, there's got to be more to it"...I'd say definitely a move of God there.

Our daughter was surprised, "I thought if you died that was it [you either went one place or the other]".  She hasn't said much, but I think she's relieved.

Quote: "...should wait on God for the right moment"...that sounds right to me, however, the right moment might be a little at a time, sort of switching gears, talking more about God's love, moving into how He'll eventually save everyone though there is accountability and judgment...though righteous and corrective...more of an easy transition since they're so young, so will probably be easily influenced and re-directed if done gently and lovingly (which I have already sensed, you will do).  If they keep hearing a bunch of ET stuff though, along with your gradual re-direction, that could become confusing...So, some of my thoughts, and here's what Martin Zender says, "suggestions, nothing more" :bigGrin:.

God's blessing, and you've been a real blessing to me in the past 24 hours.   :handshake:.  James.
« Last Edit: November 20, 2008, 05:34:09 AM by jabcat »
Neither should there be vulgar speech, foolish talk, or coarse jesting--all of which are out of character--but rather thanksgiving.  Eph. 5:4  **  Saved 1John 3.2, Eph. 2:8, John 1:12 - Being saved 2Cor. 4:16 2Peter 3:18 - Will be saved 1Peter 1:5 Romans 8:23

Offline studier

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2008, 05:53:00 AM »
You may find out, that your children never did believe what they were taught deep within them. If your children yearn for the truth, then no matter how you explain it to them, they will understand. I would actually go about it, by not telling them everything they learned was a lie, it wasn't. Just some things were mistakenly taken to an extreme that was never intended.

Offline firstborn888

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2008, 07:06:54 AM »
I would at the earliest opportunity let little impressionable minds know that such an unimaginably cruel scenario does not exist. I did this with my oldest when she was very young. I dropped the ball with my youngest until she was 15 and falling into a deep depression about all the unbelievers she knew or knew of and loved (including deceased singers/actors etc.) rotting alive forever in torment.

This time it was different as she was involved in youth ministry.

This time it cost me:

1. Livelihood,
2. 30 year ministry
3. Some friends
4. Some members of my family (dis-fellowshipped me)

Bottom line? I would rather be a homeless, friendless orphan than to uphold such an absurd doctrine of incalculable horror.  :thumbsup: Really.

The good news?

2. I am still making a living (albeit a new way) and my conscience is clear
3. I still have a ministry - really different but even better than before
4. I have new friends and some of the old ones are calling and asking good questions (opening up)
5. I am closer to the family members who needed me the most and............. (drum roll).....

#1 My daughter is transformed and for the first time God, creation and God's love really makes sense to her  :happy3:

Never underestimate the power of truth... or the destructive power of lies.

Let your conscience be your guide - that is where God speaks to you  :thumbsup:
 
    - Byron


DeeDee

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2008, 07:35:07 AM »
Excellent answer Byron!

Offline firstborn888

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2008, 08:00:19 AM »
In my zeal I missed your question, "how to I tell the kids?" I think Craig (aka SOtW) is correct that a child's heart is most likely not obsessed with church doctrine nearly as much as adults are. My daughter was so ripe it was easy and she even said "I knew it!!!" so yes, you and your wife should ascertain where your children are emotionally, spiritually ect. and gently explain that fallen imperfect men can sometimes distort and misunderstand the pure message of God...

blessings,
 - Byron

At peace

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #6 on: November 23, 2008, 12:53:50 AM »
Hey all,

I have been away on business, since I posted this. I just got back. Thank you, for all the wonderful advise.

Jabcat, I agree with you and have already begun to shift our studies, focusing on mercy and love.

SOTW and Firstborn, you are correct, I must speak the truth and cannot allow a lie in my children's life.

I believe the spirit is telling me to wait on him, he will give me the words and the time.

Thx again, your input is always welcome.

At peace

Offline Nathan

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #7 on: November 23, 2008, 01:02:58 AM »
What great responses on this thread!

I must say . . I was very shocked (condescendingly so) to see that they're more concerned with hair and make-up (the two teenaged girls) than realizing hell isn't what we thought.

I have two 4-year old twins that will be experiencing a very different upbringing than their older sisters did.  Right now, they're just excited there's a Santa Clause . . . I'll let God tell them it's a hoax . . . he's better at that kind of stuff than I am.

At peace

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #8 on: November 23, 2008, 01:12:06 AM »
lol.....no santa claus...now that will break those poor little hearts.

DeeDee

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #9 on: November 23, 2008, 10:08:26 AM »
lol.....no santa claus...now that will break those poor little hearts.

Even that is not true lol. There was once a very real Santa Clause. Just shows you how quickly people dismiss things and call them fairytales - just like many atheists with the bible. Often people say things like God is imaginery like Santa Clause - well then that would make God very real since St. Nicholas was a real living being. You see even myths and legends are born from something. I know this had nothing to do with the thread, I just thought it was interesting

Love u all and blessings
DeeDee

Offline WhiteWings

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1 Timothy 2:3-4  ...God our Savior;  Who will have all men to be saved...
John 12:47  And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.
Romans 4:5 But to the one who does not work, but believes in the one who declares the ungodly righteous ...

Offline firstborn888

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Texas Son

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #12 on: November 23, 2008, 11:34:37 AM »
I have recently come to understand and receive UR and have told me kids. My oldest son is 17 years old. He has a wonderful attitude of studying the Word, and is open to the discussion with me. He loves Scripture and is searching it out.

The hard part for me is that I'm an elder at a small Wesleyan Church. The other elders were stunned when I told them I was leaning towards UR. They still preach on eternal damnation from the pulpit and I hold my tongue. It was God that moved in me to remove the scales from my eyes, so I keep in prayers that God will move in them also. I will gladly share more with them if they ask.

TS

DeeDee

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #13 on: November 23, 2008, 06:08:41 PM »
http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=23

WW - only you  :laughing7:

You're awesome....

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Firstborn! WW is ganna start thinking he is James Bond soon.

Offline WhiteWings

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #14 on: November 23, 2008, 09:02:40 PM »
I'm Wings
White Wings

WW7, lincense to spam  :laughing7:
1 Timothy 2:3-4  ...God our Savior;  Who will have all men to be saved...
John 12:47  And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.
Romans 4:5 But to the one who does not work, but believes in the one who declares the ungodly righteous ...

Offline Taffy

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #15 on: November 23, 2008, 09:34:14 PM »
I'm Wings
White Wings

WW7, lincense to spam  :laughing7:
" Spam, spam, spam,,,, spamty spam" , opps,monty python :laughing7:
Isa 29:18 And in that day shall the deaf hear the words of the book, and the eyes of the blind shall see out of obscurity, and out of darkness.

Offline Doc

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #16 on: December 01, 2008, 11:36:45 PM »
I have recently come to understand and receive UR and have told me kids. My oldest son is 17 years old. He has a wonderful attitude of studying the Word, and is open to the discussion with me. He loves Scripture and is searching it out.

The hard part for me is that I'm an elder at a small Wesleyan Church. The other elders were stunned when I told them I was leaning towards UR. They still preach on eternal damnation from the pulpit and I hold my tongue. It was God that moved in me to remove the scales from my eyes, so I keep in prayers that God will move in them also. I will gladly share more with them if they ask.

TS

That's kind of amusing, since Wesley was a universalist...
God does not instruct us to pray to change His mind. He wants us to pray so that we'll know His mind.
 
"Prayer doesn't change God, it changes me." --C.S. Lewis

God never had or needed a Plan B. He's still on Plan A.

Res Veritas Loquitur

Texas Son

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #17 on: December 02, 2008, 02:07:39 PM »

That's kind of amusing, since Wesley was a universalist...

I am just learning more about this through some great links given to me in other threads.  :bgdance:

Offline B_T

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #18 on: December 02, 2008, 02:21:23 PM »

Offline sven

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #19 on: December 03, 2008, 04:17:34 PM »
the earlier the better i would say, its sounds kind of strange to me that even children believe in hell, its not good to teach children something like that.

i can understand that older people are not happy when you tell them, what they believed was wrong - but children?, i think they would be glad to hear.

DeeDee

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #20 on: December 03, 2008, 04:33:11 PM »
Quote
That's kind of amusing, since Wesley was a universalist...

As in Wesley Methodist, Wesley?

Offline Doc

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #21 on: December 04, 2008, 02:23:06 AM »
Quote
That's kind of amusing, since Wesley was a universalist...

As in Wesley Methodist, Wesley?

Er, Wesleyan Church is usually what I've seen them called. I understand that many (most?) Wesleyan churches are not UR, even though John Wesley was (whom the churches are named after.)
God does not instruct us to pray to change His mind. He wants us to pray so that we'll know His mind.
 
"Prayer doesn't change God, it changes me." --C.S. Lewis

God never had or needed a Plan B. He's still on Plan A.

Res Veritas Loquitur

SQ

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Re: Now comes the hard part...how do I tell the kids.
« Reply #22 on: December 05, 2008, 02:26:16 AM »
I have recently come to understand and receive UR and have told me kids. My oldest son is 17 years old. He has a wonderful attitude of studying the Word, and is open to the discussion with me. He loves Scripture and is searching it out.

The hard part for me is that I'm an elder at a small Wesleyan Church. The other elders were stunned when I told them I was leaning towards UR. They still preach on eternal damnation from the pulpit and I hold my tongue. It was God that moved in me to remove the scales from my eyes, so I keep in prayers that God will move in them also. I will gladly share more with them if they ask.

TS


Wow Texas Son it wouldn't surprise me if you leave that church sometime in the near future. I had been churched most of my life then one night I went to a service and knew I would not go back.
I knew it was of God that I was not to return.
I haven't been in the churchhouse since 2,000.