Hmmm.... What to do about Church? I'm sorta in the same boat right now. I'll go one Sunday and then miss a couple of weeks. Don't think that I went at all this April to any meeting that I wasn't personally teaching at. Other pressing matters sorta did eat up some of my time, [scheduling conflicts, etc.,] but if I'd had much motivation, I probably could have been at Church.
I'm not sure if this is something that you can totally escape while in this life, for as long as there's some area of doctrine that you'd have a difference with other believers regarding -- on a level where it would nearly be a deal-maker/breaker for you with ongoing fellowship.
For a lot of Universalists, it'll simply be a restlessness more than necessarily being touchy, fretful, or resentful. I'm in another season where I'm seeing more than I can say. And I don't mean that lightly, "through a glass darkly," or whatever. I can express a little less than 1% of all of the things that the Lord's showing me. I've been seeing God intimately involved with each and every single life everywhere, with moment by moment and LONG-RANGE goals for each and every single life everywhere (not just human).
There is a frequency of matter, whether it's in another demension or on the subatomic particle level where Revelation 5:13 is already a reality. I genuinely hear it most of the time. I'm hearing it right now, as I'm writing this, from every breath on the whole planet. I hear it on the way to Church as well.
Only to get to Church and hear:
He's there for people every time but the last time;
In the end, He's only as faithful as you were;
You're the only Jesus some people will ever see;
Have you prayed for the Lord to forgive your sins?
If you died today, where would you spend eternity??
Do you have the assurance that your sins are forgiven?
If Jesus came today, would you be ready to meet Him?
etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc.
That makes me want to find a copy of the rock band Queen's old song "Who wants to live forever?" as though there were no such thing as genuinely committed, endless, unfathomable, boundless love. Sometimes it's water off of a duck's back, while other times it just makes you deeply sick of the whole universe and at God for allowing those things to still be preached in the name of Gospel preaching/teaching/demonstration.
I'm inching more towards an Ultra-Universalism (i.e., no afterlife punishments whatsoever) as more of a dogma than either a distant hope or the odd sense that I get from one or two of the promises that the Scriptures contain of the Restoration. I'm now seeing it all over the Bible and things are moving towards a demension of clarity that they've never had for me before. Previously, my Universalism would have been of the Restorationist variety that you'd bump into in the writings of Jeremiah White, James Reilly, Andrew Jukes, George MacDonald, Charles Chauncy, Elhanan Winchester, John Murray, George DeBenneville, Paul Siegvolk, Paul Dean, and others where there was a very dogmatic doctrine of temporary Hell for unrepentant unbelievers that would die in their sins.
And no, not all of the 18th century Universalists were what we might call Restorationists. Joseph Huntington in "Calvinism Improved" was very dogmatically Ultra-Universalist. And he thought that that was not only the very clear teaching of Scripture but the very clear teaching of the King James Bible, so that you didn't need to go through all of these lexicons and other stuff to gain the truth. I would agree that all of the promises of the Universal Restoration are abundantly clear in the "Authorized Version," but the forever and evers that get thrown around with regards to punishment make you have to wonder a little at what appear to be bonafide contradictions between a lambkin who has supposedly taken away the sin of the world and flames that have undying worms. He was a little bolder about his Ultra Universalism than I might ever be with regards to his belief that the KJV was 100% clear about it, without much need of looking into the translation. But then again, I don't have a Bible from the 18th century, so I don't know if it was more of a rule back then than it is now regarding Bibles having the center column reference notes.
Anyway, the more time that I'm spending in the most literal translations that I can get my hands on is really starting to transform my beliefs on a number of different fronts and not just in the realm of my emerging views of punishments. When I could keep it to what I understood from Andrew Jukes, Elhanan Winchester, and Charles Chauncy, then "fitting in" with the eternal hell crowd wasn't that hard for me. I could mentally qualify nearly every statement that would come out of their mouths with "but in the ages to come...."
On the one hand, I'm wanting to stop doing the itinerant evangelizing that I've been doing and start a Church in Fort Worth, Texas or anywhere that God would open the door. On the other hand, I just want to retreat into the woods or into a really really nice house that God could provide in this life and just live a bit of a monastic life.
Usually the deeper the growing contentment in just being by yourself with half a dozen of the most literal Biblical translations anywhere and half a dozen choice UR works for devotional reading -- and the nearer you're getting towards the Lord just thrusting you out there in front of people to have to deal with
stupid people again.
He does say not to forsake the assembling of yourselves together in the book of Hebrews, and that the responsibility of every ministry office is towards the perfecting of the rest of the Body of Christ in the earth. Maybe it takes these periodic rebaptizings in the grave of mortification over all of this so that we'll have a healthy detachment from the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.