Author Topic: Sex: is it worth waiting?  (Read 4395 times)

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jimbo99

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Sex: is it worth waiting?
« on: June 30, 2009, 08:25:31 AM »
First, let me start by humbly admitting that I am slightly wishy-washy in my beliefs and values.  I'm at a point in life where I'm not exactly sure what my religious beliefs are, and I don't know if I believe in waiting till marriage, but at least until true love.  I also posted this here because I wasn't sure where else would be better, since Tentmaker's forums don't include a "general discussion."

I am a college senior and a v****n (yes, it seems like a dirty word in today's society).  There are times when the peer pressure and physical desires are overwhelming and I often find myself wanting to just do it and get it over with, just to be like everyone else.  However, on the occasion when the opportunity presents itself, I cannot do it...either because I have strong hesitations/second thoughts or because other factors intervene somehow.  And looking back on all my "close calls," I somehow know that I would have regretted it had I followed through.  I would say I am very much a romantic deep down and at the end of the day, I desire true love more than anything else, but the constant bombardment of messages from society and other people I know that everyone's doing it, that virgin = loser, that not being sexually active is abnormal, etc. makes it more than difficult to commit to following my gut instincts.  Are there still people out there who wait until marriage or is the entire world really one big American Pie movie?  I guess what I need is some words of comfort and encouragement that I'm not alone and that one day, I'll be glad I didn't just throw away my V-card without a second thought like seemingly every other college student.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2009, 09:03:43 AM by jimbo99 »

Tim B

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2009, 09:35:45 AM »
If it makes you feel any better I'm going to be a sophomore in college and I'm still a virgin.  :bigGrin: I've grown up with the idea taught that sex is for marriage alone. I know since then I've hesitated on completely holding that belief, but I, just as you, think that I would regret it if I did have sex before marriage. Plus, I know of too many of my friends getting pregnant because they decided not to wait, and one couple ended up getting married because of it anyway. xD

So, no man, you aren't alone!  :thumbsup:

Offline jabcat

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #2 on: June 30, 2009, 10:12:04 AM »
There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.  Proverbs 14:12

... 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'  Matthew 25:23

Any moment that you're truly walking in the footsteps of Jesus, you are never wrong or alone.  If God be for us, who can be against us?

God's blessing, James.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2009, 10:20:57 AM by jabcat »
Looking unto Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith.  Heb. 12:2

martincisneros

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2009, 11:56:40 AM »
Lost my virginity when I was 26 and really wish I hadn't.  26 or 27.  Might of been 27 because it was February of '02.  Then became sexually active in the fall of '03 with someone I wound up marrying in '05, not out of love, but because we'd gone there and I felt obligated with the traditional family values thing in the back of my mind that I probably understood better than most, but not enough to my satisfaction on why God's intent is the way that it is, so in the absence of my really pressing into the Written Word and God in prayer for more understanding of "why," then I was playing with some very liberal ideas at the time after having seen UR in the Spring of '01.  But thankfully, God started pulling in the reins the tightest He's ever been able to pull them in once I was totally persuaded of His totally committed love for me for the first time in my life.

But, I felt obligated to marry her in '05 'cause I'd "gone there" again and she became extremely codependent on me, and long story short, that fell apart on me Wednesday, December 8, 2006 at 9:15pm through circumstances I won't get into the full depth of here, but basically illness took her out of the picture completely.  To the present day, still wishing I hadn't gone there either, even the wedding night when God baptized it in His glory and I was aware of doing it in the holy of holies and the room lit with the glory of God and feeling the purest, holiest experience I'd ever ever ever ever ever ever ever had and I grew up in the seriously mystical side of Pentecostal circles. 

Still wishing I hadn't gone there then 'cause I know God's bringing me the one I was actually supposed to have been married to for a while now.  (I'm not even going to say how long that should have been!  My own disobedience to Him, really, that made Him resort to plan B of the long road through the valley of the shadow of death.)  God had to corral me to keep me from being an alley cat while He straightened out my thinking, [in the absence of where I should have actually been at the time,] when I was upchucking all of this religious mess of why I'd been pure for years and years was out of the fear of His hopeless abandonment into eternal Hell rather than because I loved Him. 

He had to introduce me to purity out of a genuinely consuming love affair with Himself rather than because I was afraid He'd trash and burn me forever if I didn't stay in line.  So, I was theoretically pure for years and years with no outward manifestations of the flesh that others could document, but I was a TOTAL AND COMPLETE hypocrite because it was the eternal torment paradigm that was keeping me in line rather than because I genuinely wanted to be like my Daddy in heaven Who'd command us to love our enemies while seemingly frying His forever -- or so went the paradigm of the past into the end results of His grace and Self-sacrifice.  So, when the chains fell off, I was free to be the real me so He could transform me 'cause I was real for once rather than hanging on to my heavenly fire insurance.

So, I'm in the midst of the faith project of my life right now with His Written Word and Holy Spirit in reclaiming my virginity for the time being, as well as my mental and emotional purity, etc.  So, yeah, what you don't hear enough stories about are the folks that give it up so easily that if they don't know God and how to tap in through His Word into the supernatural for restoration, then they wind up wishing for the rest of their lives that they hadn't had the first experience(s). 

It's one of your most valuable assets, though I know the temptation to think that if the mind's already played with it, then here comes the devil misquoting Jesus with saying you've done it anyway 'cause it was in your heart.  No, be more careful with taking Jesus in context than that, and realize that inspite of everything your virginity is still your pearl of great price, and if you lose it so easily, you'll be among the rest of us that'll beg others for the rest of our lives not to fork it over so easily!

Livelystone

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #4 on: July 01, 2009, 12:00:36 AM »
In God's eyes there is no such thing as pre-martial sex

To God a man and a woman laying together is either as man and wife or as a transgression of God's law. When Isaac married Rebecca he took her into the tent and made her his wife....... when Adam and Eve became one flesh they were husband and wife and neither of theses couples were married by any third party yet God honored them

When the church learns to teach their children that when they lay down with a member of the opposite sex God judges them as being joined in a bond (marriage) that was from the beginning not intended to ever be broken........... so it it is not waiting as in abstaining but when are you announcing a marriage that is to be until death do us part?

For the posters that spoke of their virginity I think that is a good thing and I wish you well. But remember this...... today Christians are married and divorced in the church at a rate that 50 years ago Hollywood would have had to work hard to keep up with. However the truth of the matter is that the church has no more to say about marriage the gas station at the corner does

As in example I would use a Christian couple where there is no church to marry them never separating and raising their children to  love the Lord versus a couple that get married and divorced one or more times while remaining in the church the whole time....... who do you think God thinks better of?

A couple of years back I was attending a group where there was considerable knowledge..... UR and Sonship was stressed however they had missed the mark concerning "thou shalt not" and there were sexual sins amongst a body that called themselves by Jesus name. As Paul says a little leaven will leaven the whole lump and before it was all over besides what was going on in the congregation the pastor and his wife had split with him now with the woman member that I had said was evil and needed to be tossed out....... Their children marriages fell apart and so did the congregation yet he still travels and preaches in the UR circle.

Bottom line is your joining with another is either holy or unholy and of whatever one it is you can expect more of the same in your life

Blessings

Doug






martincisneros

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #5 on: July 01, 2009, 12:07:00 AM »

Livelystone

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #6 on: July 01, 2009, 12:09:55 AM »
In God's eyes there is no such thing as pre-martial sex
:eek: :Yeahright: :eeew:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2nDPufrAtI

My soundboard is noyt working Martin so I cannot what the video has to say.......... so would you please express yourself

Thanks

Doug

martincisneros

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #7 on: July 01, 2009, 12:21:14 AM »
Hebrews 13:4

New American Standard Bible
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

Darby Bible Translation
Let marriage be held every way in honour, and the bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers will God judge.

World English Bible
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.

Hébreux 13:4 French: Martin (1744)
Le mariage est honorable entre tous, et le lit sans souillure; mais Dieu jugera les fornicateurs et les adultères.

Hebreos 13:4 Spanish: Modern
Honroso es para todos el matrimonio, y pura la relación conyugal; pero Dios juzgará a los fornicarios y a los adúlteros.


http://scripturetext.com/hebrews/13-4.htm

Offline jabcat

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #8 on: July 01, 2009, 12:30:06 AM »
IF people would make that lifelong committment, and the sex be an affirmation and consummation of that, in the absence of a "legal" ceremony, wouldn't that be one thing?  Then there would be a "marriage bed" to be undefiled?  Also certainly not saying a legal ceremony/union/committment is wrong.  The problem seems to me to be making the committment and keeping it.

However (and I know I'm generalizing and assuming) IMO, by far, most people have the sex, hang out with each other for awhile, then move on to the next one.  As I understand, equaling sexual immorality, fornication, pre-marital sex...because there is no marriage/spiritual committment. 

And adultery is then another issue.

Thankfully, if we confess, God forgives and cleanses, and He wants us to closely follow Him.
« Last Edit: July 01, 2009, 07:24:45 AM by jabcat »
Looking unto Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith.  Heb. 12:2

Livelystone

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #9 on: July 01, 2009, 12:35:47 AM »
Martin

I agree but marriage is not decided by a  third party........ God considers a man and woman to be married when they have intercourse.......... or He considers them not married and living in sin as He judges the heart and does not excuse anyone because of any law of man

As far as couples that think they are having sex before marriage in God's eyes their marriage is already a done deal.

However as Paul said regarding somethings that may be lawful but not expedient this IMO is one time that passage applies......

A Christian couple living together as man and wife that I used as an example above are not living in sin but if it was in an area where they could easily be married it would be more expedient and for appearances sake to others for them to get married...........


trettep

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #10 on: July 01, 2009, 02:51:18 AM »
First, let me start by humbly admitting that I am slightly wishy-washy in my beliefs and values.  I'm at a point in life where I'm not exactly sure what my religious beliefs are, and I don't know if I believe in waiting till marriage, but at least until true love.  I also posted this here because I wasn't sure where else would be better, since Tentmaker's forums don't include a "general discussion."

I am a college senior and a v****n (yes, it seems like a dirty word in today's society).  There are times when the peer pressure and physical desires are overwhelming and I often find myself wanting to just do it and get it over with, just to be like everyone else.  However, on the occasion when the opportunity presents itself, I cannot do it...either because I have strong hesitations/second thoughts or because other factors intervene somehow.  And looking back on all my "close calls," I somehow know that I would have regretted it had I followed through.  I would say I am very much a romantic deep down and at the end of the day, I desire true love more than anything else, but the constant bombardment of messages from society and other people I know that everyone's doing it, that virgin = loser, that not being sexually active is abnormal, etc. makes it more than difficult to commit to following my gut instincts.  Are there still people out there who wait until marriage or is the entire world really one big American Pie movie?  I guess what I need is some words of comfort and encouragement that I'm not alone and that one day, I'll be glad I didn't just throw away my V-card without a second thought like seemingly every other college student.

If in everything we are to do - we should do for God then if you do lose your virginity then shouldn't it be for His cause to bring another child into the world?  I say that as a hypocrite since I brought my children via selfish reasons but I wanted to just add that perspective.

Paul

Livelystone

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #11 on: July 01, 2009, 03:01:57 AM »
Hi Paul

The perspective you have shared IMO deserves a thread of its own.

There have been times when my actions were contrary to God's Law yet He still turned it into a lesson learned for me and a blessing to someone else.

That almost sounds dangerous to me and might have been some of the motivation behind Jerome to change the teachings of the church from first century teachings of UR to ET.  :dontknow:

Thanks for sharing your point........ it's a good one  :thumbsup:

Blessings

Doug

martincisneros

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #12 on: July 01, 2009, 03:17:32 AM »
I know I'm partially arguing an ad hominem argument from my own experiences, what's ideal, and though a clearly Scriptural principle is at the same time not at the same time modeled for us consistently throughout the Scriptures from cover to cover.  I would want to spare anyone the mistakes that I made by saying to dodge at all costs putting themselves into the path of oncoming iniquity.  Without getting into specifics, apart from the Holy Spirit choosing to go there through me, I know the "already married in the eyes of God" argument and that that actually precedes any kind of marital bonding over the bread and cup of one another's bodies and all of their related milks and honeys.  Your physical body is either the precious Organic Word of the Living God, or it's AntiChrist!  Is your physical body the Ark of the Covenant, or is it an Idol's Temple?  There isn't a third option or inbetween spot, and generally speaking of anything that wasn't a violent act, it's your [ongoing] choice and commitment to which it is!  Because sex is absolutely always a blood offering whether or not you ever actually [experientially within the range of your eyesight] detect anything crimson or not!

I've already been "married in the eyes of God" to someone for quite a long while now, and could lay down a counter argument to the one that I've been standing by with every kind of justification of me and so and so belonging to each other, it being permanent, it having all of God's blessings and corresponding miracles that folks that randomly view these threads would never believe in a hundred years, etc.  It is a very tired old saying that "true love waits," but that's only because folks have been waiting on each other rather than on Him for His confirmation with signs, wonders, the prophetic, and other things to indicate His being all for it -- because in today's world, only God can hold two people together. 

I'm not saying anything that I've said out of prudery, or envy that because I can't, then nobody else can either :laughing7: which is what's left as the impression on a lot of people when a lot of pastors and evangelists will say similar things to what I've been saying on this thread, only to be BUSTED with their hands in the cookie jar that doesn't minimally have the unsigned marriage license in the pocket indicating clear intent and commitment.  And I'm not saying anything out of "on the remote chance so and so happens to read that I posted this."  She already knows where I stand on this and that I could very very easily go there TODAY, -- but am waiting on God's timing, as is she, and we're pursuing His Kingdom and His righteousness, rather than emotional self gratification that's got zero roots in what would last.  Zero questions that the relationship I'm in is "forever" 'cause there's a way of interpreting all that God's been telling me since I embraced His Lordship in 1990 as Him having been speaking to me about her and trying to speed things up with growing me up, but I missed His cues and flat out disobeyed and caused delays.

What I'm trying to emphasize on this thread with what I've been saying is that this is genuinely a life altering decision that impacts upon conscience, your health in the best of circumstances, your emotions (even when it comes to guys), your relationship with God, your relationship with the world around you, your destiny, your view of yourself, your integrity, your future motives, your memories, your sowing and reaping, often upon your reputation, because of the unique psychic place this has in your life even if you don't view yourself as psychic -- it'll still effect every single relationship that you have, and not just the one with the person you've chosen to be sexual with (again, because of the above influences it will have on your surroundings, concepts, integrity, view of yourself, relationship with God, memories and reactions, social and mental health, view of others, et. al.).  Few other things effect your view of others more than THIS!!

Doing my absolute, absolute best to only be lead of the Holy Spirit in divulging this, but because of the very seriousness of this matter and how important this is to your well being, destiny, and other issues, I'll imitate St. Paul taking the lower road "to by all means deliver some" even if legalists on taking Jesus out of context would try to bust me as having done this to be seen of men -- when my Father Who sees in Secret has already Seen, and IS UNQUESTIONABLY REWARDING ME OPENLY THIS DAY!!  AND MORE THAN I COULD HAVE EVER HOPED!!  Because of how this is a question that could have Scripture thrown at it on both sides of the issue, I'll pull a St. Paul here and do [with full conviction] an "imitate me as I imitate Christ" where this is concerned.  The Scriptures say that what God puts together, let not man put asunder, or try to divide.  Praying in the Spirit the last couple of hours about including this last part with this post.  Okay... St. Paul spoke of being in fastings often in his walk of faith and imitation of Jesus Christ.  Today completes my 40th day of a fast with regards to this very issue, and if I ever "went there" without the certificate on the wall that was filed with the county it would be based on the following factors:

1. Having [this day] completed 40 days of a fast making sure that not my will, but His is being done, and having His SUPERNATURAL confirmation of His Will regarding the relationship -- including prophetic counsel from others that was undeniably the Lord giving out of the mouth of multiple witnesses and a certain degree of reasonable assurance that the additional confirming voices -- beyond all of the other cool things God's done along the way -- were oblivious to what was growing in our hearts about this in the natural;
2. Since being totally committed to Him and it seeming good to the Holy Spirit and to her, then I've committed myself to someone ENTIRELY with such an established Covenant that there's genuinely no way out EVER;
3. Being her servant and being sensitive to her needs rather than to mine;
4. Psalm 15:4 -- I've sworn to my own hurt over this to where death is our only separation, and the same has been received from her, and over the fast learning from Him that her word's as good as mine or His.
5. Making sure it's "equally yoked" with someone of compatible/negotiable depth in the Word and the Spirit.  Not dealing with a novice in faith on either her part or mine, and we've pursued Him wholeheartedly and have prayed all of the prayers of faith over a long enough period of time about not being lead into temptation, but that we'd be delivered from evil, and if we "went there" prematurely to having the county as a witness with that filed document that documents the ceremony and the covenant as a public testimony to the whole county, then we're both confident it would be fullness of love rather than getting our jollies like a couple of 15 year olds in the back of a car at a drive in theatre or whatever.
6. Full conviction, and I know this gets into subjects of spiritual adults that's beyond the scope of this thread, but with regards to accountability levels before Him "when you're of full age" according to Hebrews 5 -- we know if we're knowingly wrong, we've signed our death certificate with Him 'cause He's not playing with either of our callings and His work in our lives thus far, the Anointing and Blood upon our lives, and all He's Anointed us to do.  Though there's this sense of urgency about sensitivity in our footing before Him in our walk BECAUSE of our knowledge of Him and previous experience of His Spirit, and for some this 6th point may seem a bit unfair to tack on to this list as a pattern to follow because it can take years to get to spiritual maturity in Him -- it's still something to keep you on your face about because that person you "open yourself to" whether you're a male or female and whether they're a male or female is going to deeply effect your rate of growth in God's Written Word and Supernatural Spirit and how sure your footing is in following the Shepherd of your souls, or whether you wind up having to face extended stays in the valley of the shadow of death.  They'll effect you that way, and you'll effect them that way!
7. Knowing that sex IS death to self AND IS NEVER CASUAL, but will either grow, develop, enhance, and release into manifestations from glory to glory the mark of His Spirit upon your life or will grow, develop, enhance, and release into manifestations of the mark of the Beast upon your life, from death to death.  No middle ground.  It's ALWAYS calling related, even if you're only called to be a waiter or trash collector.  (Whether we're ever called as more to function in the fullness of all of His Mysteries, Wisdom, and Power is His calling to start with, and being oblivious to such a further calling than what you're doing never prevents Him from doing more in and through you along the way, if He wanted to call you later in life, kapish?)  And anything that effects that will effect the quality and fruitfulness of your prayer life; the length, depth, breadth, height, and weight of your harvests, and whether or not Jesus Christ is able to use you EFFECTIVELY to reverse every single generational curse that's been in your family and community, or whether though called you're not chosen 'cause you weren't faithful as a steward of His Temple, the Mysteries of God you had attained to from His Written Word and Holy Spirit, and of your worship [and thanksgiving] before Him -- which is uniquely effected by this and therefore should be seen in the very serious light that the New Testament puts this in.  1Thessalonians 4 says this is one of the [very few] ways you can be judged as having rejected God.

I wish to say many more things, but have the witness of the Holy Spirit to conclude this post here to allow others digestion time.

jimbo99

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #13 on: July 01, 2009, 03:55:20 AM »
Thanks for the feedback so far everyone.  I wish there was a way to escape all the social pressures and expectations out there that constantly tell you that you have to have sex all the time and/or at a certain age in order to be normal and not pathetic or weird.

Tim B

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #14 on: July 01, 2009, 05:13:49 AM »
Thanks for the feedback so far everyone.  I wish there was a way to escape all the social pressures and expectations out there that constantly tell you that you have to have sex all the time and/or at a certain age in order to be normal and not pathetic or weird.

I'd say it's only weird in the sense that to be weird simply means to be not average. Most average people have sex before marriage. So maybe it is weird, but only in that sense. Pathetic? Never! It's very easy to fall into temptation. It's the resisting the temptation that takes strength.

Offline Beloved Servant

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #15 on: July 01, 2009, 05:34:30 AM »
Here is a scripture:
    Romans 12:1-2

    I appeal to you therefore, brothers,by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world,but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.


But I know that you need more.

It's imperative to remember that we are in this world; but not of this world.
Learn to be lead by the Spirit within, and not the flesh without.
Focus on the Lord, every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every month of every year of every decade of every century of every millennium of The Lord without end. Amen.

Paul Hazelwood

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #16 on: July 01, 2009, 07:12:01 AM »


I will simply convey what I raised my kids with.


Wanting to have sex is normal and God has given us common sense.   When Jesus talks about lusting in our hearts it really has nothing to do with the sex act itself.  It is at first glance seeing another as an idol object.

If you decide to have sex, your self gratification is not all that is at stake,  you are not seeing the whole picture.  First there is pregnancy and we have a solution to that called abortion.

I told my boys that there are all kinds of scenarios that you need to weigh.  First I asked them if they liked having a father and a mother that loves them, interacts with them, plays with them and talks to them?   They said yes.   I asked them if they want the same thing for their kids.   They answered yes. 

So then I asked them that if they had sex with someone who was not committed to you and the same desires for children and they got pregnant, do you think you may be risking the happiness of your child?    What if she doesn't love you and goes and gets an abortion?   What if she wants to keep the child, but doesn't love you and refuses to marry you.  If she gives it up for adoption, I am not sure of your rights as the one who fathered it, but you'll still be without her.  As we go along, what are the chances of you achieving the goal you agreed to for your kid?   So even though there is birth control, it is not 100% foolproof, so is the risk worth taking when you are dealing with something besides your own life?

I fortunatly have smart kids, so they understood what I was driving at.

Then I moved on to disease.

Plainly put, you can get STD's that might kill you,  you can get STD's you may have the rest of your life.   Your hormones and your stiffy will believe a girl that says she is clean and there is absolutely no way in the spur of the moment that she can prove anything.   Worth the risk?  It's a yes or no answer.



Now we move on to the reality of my own life.  My wife and I had sex before we were officially married.  There is no religious person alive that can make me feel guilty about it.   We fell in love and was comitted before the ceremony ever took place.

Getting married before God does not require a physcial ceremony but I encourage you to have one.   Believing couples get divorced like any one they might claim as unchurched or ungodly.  The ceremony should be an extension of your committment

My point to my kids here is that before my wife and I did have sex we had already become friends, we had already decided that we wanted to share the rest of our life together , there was nothing spontaneous, nothing not thought through.   We both went to the doctor together and got tested for blood type compatibility and disease.

During the actual ceremony our commitment was honored by God and my wife and I experienced first hand the spiritual joining of our hearts because it was true love,  we did have what may be called in hinduism or buddism a 4th level of consciousness.   I know religious people have a problem with that,  but we was given the gift of a glimpse what it might be like to be one.  We knew we were together spiritually without conscious thought.  To this day, neither one of us have to explain it to the other, we know we both were.

I tell my boys that we were given a gift I hope they experience.  I told them that we never earned it, or did anything special, we believe it was only because we really and deeply loved each other and cannot answer why we were given that priceless gift.

And to seek a mate, whoever that may be, that will truly love you exactly the way you are.   Be who you are,  do not act a different way just to win someone over, your relationship will not be based on true love, it will end up being a duty or simply another divorce statistic.  This is because essentially your forming a relationship on a lie.  It will not hold to the test of time, period.



Offline sparrow

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #17 on: July 01, 2009, 07:54:01 AM »
Paul...


Out of a possible 5 stars, I give your post...


 :dsunny: :dsunny: :dsunny: :dsunny: :dsunny:


Excellent advice, and a beautiful tribute to your relationship with your wife.

Just beautiful, bro.

Thanks for sharing!

sparrow
"I knelt to drink,
And knew that I was on the brink
Of endless joy. And everywhere
I turned I saw a wonder there."

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Offline firstborn888

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #18 on: July 01, 2009, 08:47:52 AM »
It's hard being young and feeling left out. But many of the folks I envied so much (as a youth) for getting all the 'action' have had extremely troubled romantic lives and even ruined lives - even though a few turned out fine.

I am am deeply romantic as well. Joining with someone and then losing them is the most traumatic experience ever for people like us. Some people never recover.

Of course it's worth the wait if it's a lasting lifetime relationship you are waiting for.

Offline sparrow

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #19 on: July 02, 2009, 04:55:36 AM »
It's hard being young and feeling left out. But many of the folks I envied so much (as a youth) for getting all the 'action' have had extremely troubled romantic lives and even ruined lives - even though a few turned out fine.

I am am deeply romantic as well. Joining with someone and then losing them is the most traumatic experience ever for people like us. Some people never recover.

Of course it's worth the wait if it's a lasting lifetime relationship you are waiting for.

It's so true.
My dad lost my mom 20 years ago.
Never remarried.
She is still his soulmate.
Who knows what will happen on the other side of life with respect to marriages.
Maybe we'll just end up being best friends or something, I have no idea.
But I will say my dad's love for my mother has been very inspiring to me for these last 20 years.
To me, it has shown me that love is...real.
That mere death cannot destroy love.
peace y'all.
"I knelt to drink,
And knew that I was on the brink
Of endless joy. And everywhere
I turned I saw a wonder there."

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Offline j.

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #20 on: July 03, 2009, 09:39:23 AM »
It's hard being young and feeling left out. But many of the folks I envied so much (as a youth) for getting all the 'action' have had extremely troubled romantic lives and even ruined lives - even though a few turned out fine.

I am am deeply romantic as well. Joining with someone and then losing them is the most traumatic experience ever for people like us. Some people never recover.

Of course it's worth the wait if it's a lasting lifetime relationship you are waiting for.

It's so true.
My dad lost my mom 20 years ago.
Never remarried.
She is still his soulmate.
Who knows what will happen on the other side of life with respect to marriages.
Maybe we'll just end up being best friends or something, I have no idea.
But I will say my dad's love for my mother has been very inspiring to me for these last 20 years.
To me, it has shown me that love is...real.
That mere death cannot destroy love.
peace y'all.

Amen, Sis.  :thumbsup:

Song of Solomon 8:6:

"Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death;"

Offline sparrow

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #21 on: July 03, 2009, 10:27:29 AM »
 :dsunny:
"I knelt to drink,
And knew that I was on the brink
Of endless joy. And everywhere
I turned I saw a wonder there."

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Offline Cardinal

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #22 on: July 03, 2009, 11:14:38 AM »
 :cloud9: The real question here is; are YOU worth waiting for so as not to defile yourself? When you join yourself to someone God has not joined you to, you are free to take on the darkness of their flesh, and it has a legal right to take on you, because you ARE, ONE FLESH. Blessings....
"I would rather train twenty men to pray, than a thousand to preach; A minister's highest mission ought to be to teach his people to pray." -H. MacGregor

Eleutheros

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #23 on: July 10, 2009, 02:48:07 AM »
Hello Jimbo!

Let me rearrange what you wrote and let's see if you can see what I do.

Quote
...on the occasion when the opportunity presents itself, I cannot do it...(have sex) either because I have strong hesitations/second thoughts or because other factors intervene somehow.  And looking back on all my "close calls," I somehow know that I would have regretted it had I followed through.  I would say I am very much a romantic deep down and at the end of the day, I desire true love more than anything else...

But, before these very heartfelt words were typed, you typed this:

Quote
First, let me start by humbly admitting that I am slightly wishy-washy in my beliefs and values....

Ha! To my ears you don't sound like someone who's wishy-washy at all! You sound like someone who knows exactly what he believes as well as knowing exactly what you want, including how to get it!.

You sound to me, Jimbo, like someone who has a clean conscience, hard at work within you to stop you from sinning!

All that other stuff you wrote about is the result of confusion caused by the crapola of half-truths and outright lies spoken from dirty consciences that want to justify themselves. For, indeed, it is a truth that there is pleasure to be had in sin... for a season.

But, you want more. You want what your blood-cleansed conscience is promising sex can bring to you: Joy, union, and companionship as well as the physical delights to be had as you and your precious one indulge yourselves in that which makes you resemble Jehovah, your sexuality. And BONUS! You'll get to share, also, in Jehovah's ability to create fresh, new human beings!

Talk about knowing joy!

Jimbo, marriage exists because sex exists. It's really that simple a truth.

For the Act of Marraige in it's vows of both fidelity and fealty, assuages our conscience concerning sex, thus freeing us to know another in ways that only a God could have conceived. Pun intended.

I love sex, Jimbo. And I want you to love it to! It's a very human thing to love.

Keep up the vigilance then; heed your conscience to keep it clean and you will know that it was worth it.

Been there, done that!  :bigGrin:

And just for fun, check out these lyrics from a Talking Heads song Creatures of Love:

And continue to be good!

It's what you were created to be!

Elyew

P.S. I couldn't find the song on Youtube so you'll have to get the tune for it elsewhere  :dontknow: sorry!
« Last Edit: July 10, 2009, 02:56:35 AM by Eleutheros »

Freedom_in_Christ

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Re: Sex: is it worth waiting?
« Reply #24 on: July 11, 2009, 03:53:08 AM »
First, let me start by humbly admitting that I am slightly wishy-washy in my beliefs and values.  I'm at a point in life where I'm not exactly sure what my religious beliefs are, and I don't know if I believe in waiting till marriage, but at least until true love.  I also posted this here because I wasn't sure where else would be better, since Tentmaker's forums don't include a "general discussion."

I am a college senior and a v****n (yes, it seems like a dirty word in today's society).  There are times when the peer pressure and physical desires are overwhelming and I often find myself wanting to just do it and get it over with, just to be like everyone else.  However, on the occasion when the opportunity presents itself, I cannot do it...either because I have strong hesitations/second thoughts or because other factors intervene somehow.  And looking back on all my "close calls," I somehow know that I would have regretted it had I followed through.  I would say I am very much a romantic deep down and at the end of the day, I desire true love more than anything else, but the constant bombardment of messages from society and other people I know that everyone's doing it, that virgin = loser, that not being sexually active is abnormal, etc. makes it more than difficult to commit to following my gut instincts.  Are there still people out there who wait until marriage or is the entire world really one big American Pie movie?  I guess what I need is some words of comfort and encouragement that I'm not alone and that one day, I'll be glad I didn't just throw away my V-card without a second thought like seemingly every other college student.

Yes, it is very much worth the wait. Try it God's way and not the world's way.
He will give you the strength to resist if you ask Him but you must be resolved to "save yourself" for the wife He will bring you. What better gift could you give her on your wedding night than yourself, untouched and pure. Now that should appeal to the romantic in you.

In Christ.