Sex: is it worth waiting?

[claypot]

I will simply convey what I raised my kids with.


Wanting to have sex is normal and God has given us common sense.   When Jesus talks about lusting in our hearts it really has nothing to do with the sex act itself.  It is at first glance seeing another as an idol object.

If you decide to have sex, your self gratification is not all that is at stake,  you are not seeing the whole picture.  First there is pregnancy and we have a solution to that called abortion.

I told my boys that there are all kinds of scenarios that you need to weigh.  First I asked them if they liked having a father and a mother that loves them, interacts with them, plays with them and talks to them?   They said yes.   I asked them if they want the same thing for their kids.   They answered yes. 

So then I asked them that if they had sex with someone who was not committed to you and the same desires for children and they got pregnant, do you think you may be risking the happiness of your child?    What if she doesn't love you and goes and gets an abortion?   What if she wants to keep the child, but doesn't love you and refuses to marry you.  If she gives it up for adoption, I am not sure of your rights as the one who fathered it, but you'll still be without her.  As we go along, what are the chances of you achieving the goal you agreed to for your kid?   So even though there is birth control, it is not 100% foolproof, so is the risk worth taking when you are dealing with something besides your own life?

I fortunatly have smart kids, so they understood what I was driving at.

Then I moved on to disease.

Plainly put, you can get STD's that might kill you,  you can get STD's you may have the rest of your life.   Your hormones and your stiffy will believe a girl that says she is clean and there is absolutely no way in the spur of the moment that she can prove anything.   Worth the risk?  It's a yes or no answer.



Now we move on to the reality of my own life.  My wife and I had sex before we were officially married.  There is no religious person alive that can make me feel guilty about it.   We fell in love and was comitted before the ceremony ever took place.

Getting married before God does not require a physcial ceremony but I encourage you to have one.   Believing couples get divorced like any one they might claim as unchurched or ungodly.  The ceremony should be an extension of your committment

My point to my kids here is that before my wife and I did have sex we had already become friends, we had already decided that we wanted to share the rest of our life together , there was nothing spontaneous, nothing not thought through.   We both went to the doctor together and got tested for blood type compatibility and disease.

During the actual ceremony our commitment was honored by God and my wife and I experienced first hand the spiritual joining of our hearts because it was true love,  we did have what may be called in hinduism or buddism a 4th level of consciousness.   I know religious people have a problem with that,  but we was given the gift of a glimpse what it might be like to be one.  We knew we were together spiritually without conscious thought.  To this day, neither one of us have to explain it to the other, we know we both were.

I tell my boys that we were given a gift I hope they experience.  I told them that we never earned it, or did anything special, we believe it was only because we really and deeply loved each other and cannot answer why we were given that priceless gift.

And to seek a mate, whoever that may be, that will truly love you exactly the way you are.   Be who you are,  do not act a different way just to win someone over, your relationship will not be based on true love, it will end up being a duty or simply another divorce statistic.  This is because essentially your forming a relationship on a lie.  It will not hold to the test of time, period.

Paul, I say this with the utmost respect but I am still laughing in a joyous way over one word you used in your discourse........stiffy. Man, that hit a humorous bone in me that is still making me laugh as I write.

In all seriousness though this thread is a great one.

cp

[Nancy]

hi ya guys,

i feel guilty every now and again because i lost my virginity at 17 and then had sex with another man before i got married to my now husband. so i have had 2 sexual partners before marriage.
am i then an adulterer? and what can i do about it?

Godbless
Nancy

[Eleutheros]

hi ya guys,

i feel guilty every now and again because i lost my virginity at 17 and then had sex with another man before i got married to my now husband. so i have had 2 sexual partners before marriage.
am i then an adulterer? and what can i do about it?

Godbless
Nancy

You're forgiven, that's what you are!

The guilt is because of regret over wondering what you might have known had you not sinned.

So give in to being forgiven! Quit pulling up a past that's passed into oblivion and go, grab you're husband, run to the bedroom and sin no more! 

[Paul Hazelwood]

hi ya guys,

i feel guilty every now and again because i lost my virginity at 17 and then had sex with another man before i got married to my now husband. so i have had 2 sexual partners before marriage.
am i then an adulterer? and what can i do about it?

Godbless
Nancy

That's the result of the doctrine of demeaning guilt talking, it is from religion and it is  not Gods truth.   The good news will uplift you and obviously the things you are placing upon yourself are not uplifting.

So reject the lies of religion and embrace what God thinks of you.

Righteousness.

Take care.

[Paul Hazelwood]

Paul, I say this with the utmost respect but I am still laughing in a joyous way over one word you used in your discourse........stiffy. Man, that hit a humorous bone in me that is still making me laugh as I write.

In all seriousness though this thread is a great one.

cp

LOL.   

[Beloved Servant]

1 Corinthians 7 deals well with the topic.

[jabcat]

hi ya guys,

i feel guilty every now and again because i lost my virginity at 17 and then had sex with another man before i got married to my now husband. so i have had 2 sexual partners before marriage.
am i then an adulterer? and what can i do about it?

Godbless
Nancy

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  (I John 1:9)

And if a believer and forgiven ---  Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)

[HartleyDamboiseII]

In Gods plan of marriage, the sex act is the act that bonds two humans together forever. That is marriage! Any other ceremony is secondary.

If your holding back because it is a sin, then "if your not of Jewish decent" and a Gentile, then YOU have no sin because sin is transgression of the law that you were never forced to follow by God, only Religion and churches make you followers of law in our life as it applies to us today. I call them preachers or messengers of death.

         Personally, I would give everything to go back to where you are now and wait for marriage, only because of the extrema affection you would have for that significant other in the future. Wait.