Ded, I know where you're coming from! Way back, decades ago, in third grade, I was invited to play baseball at recess. There I was in the outfield, not knowing what I was expected to do, woolgathering, when suddenly there was a lot of shouting, and a baseball came rolling toward me. I didn't know what to do with it, and I was never, NEVER invited to play again.
I got the idea that others just KNEW what to do, and how to do it, but that I lacked that esoteric tap into knowledge and technique. It held me back in life for a long time. Now I know that it saved me from a lot of harmful stuff - you know, sinning.