Thank you all for all your lovely responses
, please forgive me if I came across too strong, I was feeling really low yesterday
Sparrow, I have read that article and I can identify with it, another touching article is Daddy what if
, I think Charles Slagle has a depth to his personality that very few have, some of his articles had me in tears as I can identify
Claypot, I too can identify with what you posted last week the day after Michael Jackson's death, I read on another forum (Wisefire) that the fundy forums were going to town about MJ's eternal destiny, about how (he's getting what was coming to him
), I haven't been on any fundy forums as I cannot stomach their cold hearted selfishness right now.
You mentioned something about people grovelling, oddly enough even when I reluctantly somehow was able to justify the ET doctrine, I for some odd reason, which I could never put my finger on, was never comfortable in a conventional church setting, for many years I blamed myself and thought that the problem was with myself and that my heart wasn't right with God, although I wanted it to be, one thing I've discovered is that most people are content with doing their duty by going to 4-5 gatherings a week, but not really progressing for some reason, one thing I especially found odd, was that meetings were starting 5-7 minutes later than they should have eg instead of starting at 19h30 they were only starting at 19h35+ or so, plus they ended exactly at a certain time, for some odd reason I've never felt as if I truly belonged there. Most of the time I could not help but feel as if there was something very wrong, and also as if there was something missing, surely Xtianity is more than warming a pew for a few hours a week and trying to get by.
The church I attended believed in the rapture, and one gets the impression that they are just sitting around, and biding their time waiting to be raptured, leaving the rest of the world to their (in their own eyes deserved) fate, although I'm not totally convinced of UR, I no longer believe in a pre tribulation rapture, if there is going to be one, I'd say it would be a post-trib rapture, the point is, that with each passing day I'm personally finding this doctrine to be seemingly more and more rooted in total self-centredness
Beloved Servant, I just hope you are right about what I'm going through being a revelation, and not a deception
dboutwell, thanks for what you have posted, I do want to be a true believer, but I want to know for sure that God and Jesus loves all of us, and wants to save us all
Paul H - I just hope my heart is in the right place and I'm not being deceived, however I cannot change how I feel and go back to what I was before, if somehow ,someday I can see what I want with my whole heart to be true, then this nightmare will have been worth it after all
Thanks again for all your supportive comments, it means alot