So, let's summarize all that could happen on December 21st, 2012, or the 23rd of 2012 depending on who you believe since some scholars interpret the writing on the ancient walls differently:
1. Sun could be turned to darkness and the moon to blood;
2. Everybody could get hemmoroids;
3. Gasoline could fall below a dollar a gallon;
4. Glen Campbell could be forced to apologize for having ever sung Rhinestone Cowboy;
5. Cats, dogs, hamsters, canaries, ferrets, parrots, and dead presidents and prime ministers could cannibalize all of our faces in our sleep because we hadn't switched to Geico Insurance yet;
6. Global warming could successfully be proven to be caused by our remote controls, at which point in order to save the planet all of the governments of the world will issue everybody new remote controls that don't work, at tax payers expenses, of course, and we'll all be forced to watch reruns of Presidential State of the Union addresses for the next 40,000 years without sleep and without death finding us;
7. Elvis Presley could be elected as the head of the European Union, just in time to sing about a whole lotta shakin' going on when the earthquake in the book of Revelation happens;
8. Relief could once again be spelled R, O, L, A, I, D, S;
9. The Titanic could finally reach the U.S.;
10. Fur coats could come to life and run off screaming, even the faux ones;
11. Bad breath could be discovered to be the cure to cancer, diabetes, and AIDS;
12. Nero could rise from the dead as a French prostitute that Elvis Presley would fall in love with and begin singing "Hound Dog" to every night;
13. All of our social security numbers could start with 666;
14. We could all be forced to live on macaroni [without cheese or anything on it] and castor oil for 42 months;
15. All wind chimes could miraculously start playing the theme songs from the Addam's Family and Mash for 42 months and that could wind up being the only music that we have for that whole 42 months as all radio stations, IPods, and music collections and musical instruments miraculously freeze per Bin Ladin's demands;
16. Trees could become rapists that randomly strike everyone without warning;
17. Carl Baugh could win the Nobel Prize;
18. Everyone could have an ATM implanted in the back of their heads, whether they're strong enough to walk around with it or not;
19. All of the governments of the world could start paying all of us taxes;
20. It could be proven that Abraham Lincoln was actually killed by the illuminati;
21. It could be proven that Jesus was crucified by the illuminati;
22. It could be proven that God is a Right-wing Republican;
23. Preparation-H could become mandatory in all of the schools;
24. All women could be forced to take fertility drugs and have 8 kids each year under a new definition of population control;
25. Cars, trucks, vans, and airplanes could become the Transformers;
26. The head of the illuminati could be successfully proven to have been Elmo all this time;
27. Aliens could be proven to have actually lived among us for centuries;
28. Ellen Degeneres could become President of the United States;
29. Snaughty English teachers could gain absolute power over the internet and each webpage with a split infinitive will be taken down;
30. Mechanical bulls could become the new taxi drivers;
31. Robin Williams could be proven to have been Bicentennial Man all of this time;
32. Mandatory eye donation at your 18th birthday could begin;
33. Jesus could come back, only to be chased by Elmo all over the middle east for 7 years;
34. Evolutionary scientists could evolve into rational human beings;
35. Mandatory evacuation of every bird's bowels onto every automobile, boat, plane, and their owners for 7 years straight could begin, with cages everywhere miraculously blowing open so that all birds can comply with fulfilling this curse upon automobiles, boats, planes, and their owners;
36. Mandatory evacuation of everyone from California could begin, with everyone being crammed into FEMA trailers and taken to Rhode Island, or is that Easter Island?;
37. The forced relocation of everyone from Washington D.C. to the commedy channel could begin;
38. Headaches could be proven to be mental telepathy with extraterrestrials at work;
39. Marilyn Monroe could be reincarnated as a writer's stationary;
40. George Burns, Morgan Freeman, or Bruce Almighty could be proven to have been God all of this time;
Did I miss any of the important ones to be on the lookout for that day that they're claiming happens then? And I'm talking about the serious ones, like the ones above that people have been waiting for, for thousands of years!!