I just had to cry and cry when I read WW's response. "It means they make ET's." So many times in the last three years I have wished I had remained in the false religion I had been in for so long before I came to the "Christian church". After the beautiful birth in my spirit of the grace of God the dilemma of the ET doctrine soon came to the forefront of of my mind and took me to the darkest place I have ever been. The ensuing mental breakdown and depression still has a hold on me today and everyday even after coming to UR truth. The demons still whisper "surely it is not so". Even on UR sites, doctrines of judgement and wrath and the second death torment me daily. I don't understand the weapons of our warfare. And I cry out "will this ever stop?" That peace which passeth all understanding is gone and it's memory is fading. That joy with which I danced around my house and yard blessing God- gone. That desire to shout from the rooftops replaced with I'll never tell a soul. If I can save one person from going through the hell I'm living through it would be worth it. Please Lord, especially not my children, who I'm supposed to hate. Sick of it all!
hi, Colleen! I am so sorry to hear that! I read your post down a few too.. I used to struggle with very deep, very dark depression, which went on and on, yes, even after being "saved". Til one day the Lord stopped me - I was standing in front of a bookshelf - and He 'told' me "you are mourning the loss of your original family" - the light bulb turned on. I was estranged from my family, due to finances, but originally had moved about 1000 miles away because there were lots of abuses in childhood.. I had experienced much healing.. but during the years when my own children were little, things seemed to come back to haunt me. I didn't have all the time I'd had before to be in the Word, reading and having a lot of quiet prayer time.. (Which of course is very healing of itself.)
Things of course were much more demanding, even tiring. My husband, a truck driver, was over-the-road (OTR, now local hooray).. At low points after days of darkness/depression/oppression, I felt like I had been (spiritually) beat upon the head and back with a two by four.
Once the Lord revealed to me what I was "mourning", I could put a time limit on it! Say allow myself five, ten minutes to mourn it, then I could drop it and go on! It was long and drawn out before because it was nameless.. All this the Lord revealed to me. Also taught me to recognize different voices. How all things beautiful and perfect is from above and the Father of lights, and anything negative, especially if I can feel the negative, like a dart, knife or sword entering my heart or 'in the gut' as they say.. was something en-tire-ly different. He also taught me how to recognize threatening voices (spirits) and to reject them. I learned whenever I had a negative thought, i would imagine a huge X or maybe even 3 XXX's in my mind to cancel them (could even say "in the name of Jesus") and replace each negative thought with a positive one. Perhaps one opposite to the one its replacing.
Personally, I didn't find God in a church, but in the Rocky Mountains.
I had been going around to libraries and researching world religions (looking for truth) and I also was studying astrology, and meditation. (Now it's just me and my Bible.)
So one day I was sitting at the side of a hill, and it seemed as though I could see a thought drift across the very blue sky, and it hit me in the head!
Yes, it hit me in the head! What it said was "you've been learning about all the forces in the universe" (astrology) "what about the force that created the universe and what if that force has consciousness?" And I thought "GOD!" - My life changed from that day.. But it was that I could feel God's Presence when in the mountains, camping each weekend, but when not in the mountains.. no..
Until! One day I came across a Bible tract titled "God's Great Plan of Salvation
". I read it and said the prayer four times. I just couldn't believe it tho. "Can this be true for me?" I asked, then went out to the living room (no one was home which was not usual). "Can it be true for me?" I asked.. then the sun, which was setting over the mountains to the west, streamed through an inch gap in the curtains, across the room and filled the off television screen with a radiant 8 rayed star. It was the star I used as a meditation symbol! I later learned this star is the one we see the 3 wise men (astrologers) follow every year at Christmas.. In the order of miracles, it may be tiny, but it worked for me!!
I learned over the years that other religions of the world are tapestries made up of both true and untrue threads.. And I learned if they didn't have any true threads to them, they would fall apart!! Over the years, I wish I would have continued with yoga! Wow, that stuff is great!! To this day I am still limber.. but for years I would do it maybe once every six months (the Lord I think tried to get me to do it more often!) But just doing it that much, and I could still bend over and touch the floor with the palms of my hands. I'm going to be 58 in May, and I cannot even touch the floor with my fingertips most days. But those stretches, I now might do if I turn on some music and dance.. are so healthy, especially if one does the deep breathing (of the breath of life, air). And praise God, in the East they visualize the light.. well, WHO is the Light? Yes many religions seek the light
.. (It's easier to share our faith in Jesus, with others if we can begin on a little bit of common ground first...) Remember, the nations God warned Israel about were into human sacrifice and sex rites and babe sacrifice resulted. With them there was no common ground!
No thread of truth, it was all dark. (How much nicer if we would have become neighbors with the Native Americans here in the U.S. - they could have benefited us greatly.. Not a huGe jump to show them the Holy Spirit from the Great Spirit or our Father God. Rather than what occurred, trail of tears and aLL.)
To HATE sin.. refers to abhor the sin and anything which holds us back from our conversion.. to hate mother, father, brother, children if love/approval from them holds us back.. the Greek is Strong's #3404 which includes in its translation "by extension, to love less".
Looking in the concordance, under "hate" there are a lot
more verses having to do with "love those who hate you"..
The verse:Luke 14:(20)26-27
- Young's Literal Translation (YLT)
(20 and another said, A wife I married, and because of this I am not able to come...)
26 `If any one doth come unto me, and doth not hate his own father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brothers, and sisters, and yet even his own life, he is not able to be my disciple;
27 and whoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, is not able to be my disciple.
I think this simply means there is a certain amount of distance we may have with others because of our faith, we should not let it influence our following hard after Him. I don't think the man who married a wife (verse 20) was supposed to actually hate his wife but he was to love her less than Jesus.
The lies most effective against us, are those which are a twisting of God's own Word.
Personally, I had to pretty much 'make war' to overcome these things, by the washing of the (daily) Word and that close communion with Him.. By resisting the enemy and he would flee.. By knowing the dark voice from the light.. And had to deny the dark voice.. What is the verse "think on these things.." - "Whatsoever things are of good report.. whatsoever things are lovely.. think on these things" - I had to look it up - Philippians 4:8, perhaps others have already mentioned it..Bless you! You will be in my prayers!
Oh, I almost forgot, I wanted to mention, I don't think the church and churches are lost! As a matter of fact, i think in many ways they surpass us of UR. I wouldn't let your joy you've had with your faith previous to UR pondering, be stolen! No way!
"Contemplative prayer" ..is that Catholic, I have some Catholic in my roots.. there's true threads there too.. and saved! Seems to me, contemplative prayer would be the best prayer.. I'm a biG fan of Quietness (so quiet you can 'hear' the voice of God, find answers.. just my